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Caption Competition

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The Geek Star Trek Enterprise: The Tarantino Cut

Special Mention

Name Caption
Frankie Chestnuts Malcom: “ALL RIGHT! BERMAN & BRAGA!!! You two get over here and explain to us all why we’re canceled!”
Frankie Chestnuts Malcolm: "If you can dodge a phase pistol... You can dodge a ball!"
Captain 8472 “This is my phase pistol. There are many like it, but this one is mine!”
Captain 8472 When being confronted by angry fans, don’t defend yourself with useless props.
MLCoolJ Malcolm: All right! Who raided my pineapple stash?!
Miss Marple Malcolm in the Middle… IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!
Captain 8472 When your supervisor finds you watching cat videos at work.
Chromedome "We come in peace! Shoot to kill!"
They aren’t COOKIES! They are BISCUITS!
They aren’t FRENCH FRIES! They are CHIPS… and what you call CHIPS are CRISPS!!
It’s NOT a ♫Flash-Light♫… IT’S A TORCH!
And it isn’t a SPANNER… IT’S A… well… maybe it IS a spanner. But you’re wrong about all those other things!"
Chromedome Malcolm thought the Nerf guns looked really cool once they had been painted silver.
Chromedome "OK, alien scum! We are the Men In Black ... I mean Blue ... I mean Blue with nice purple stripes!"
The Geek After two centuries of being forced to perform, the Blue Man Group finally revolts.
The Geek Utterly incapable of reading an audience, Malcolm sees nothing wrong with forcing his shipmates to watch his a Capella Gregorian throat chant performance at phase pistol-point.
Chromedome "WE ... are the security men who say ... NI!!! And we demand ... A ... better caption!"
Chromedome (offscreen) "Cut! Let's do that again from the top, please."
(Reed) "Why? What was wrong with that?"
(offscreen) "Dominic, try to sound a little less menacing when you deliver your line."
(Reed) "Less menacing? How much less menacing can I make 'Die, Alien Scumbag!'"
Chromedome "NO! I am NOT over-reacting! Now own up. Who left a No.2 in the officers toilet?"
Miss Marple Malcolm: I am SICK …
and TIRED …
of everyone treating me like I’m the “Arnold Rimmer” of this entire Enterprise (PEW-PEW-PEW)!
Voices behind him, quietly:
On Right: Take him out?
On Left: Friendly fire it is…
Chromedome "Trip, I know you have dubious sartorial taste, but you are NOT going out dressed like that!"
Frankie Chestnuts Reed: "Okay Black Bart... Now you'll get yours!"
Trip (Off screen): "Careful, Malcolm... You'll shoot your eye out!"
Danish36 We're a thousand light years from Earth, in the middle of hostile territory with no idea if we will ever see home again! HOW DID YOU FIND ME MOTHER?!?!?
SlartyBardFast Everyone get back, this is the last clean bathroom on the ship, and it's ours!
Frankie Chestnuts Mr. Malcolm: “Alright... we have a very serious problem! M’Kay. I've just come from the men's restroom, and somebody went #2 in the urinal!”
All [snickering]
Mr. Malcolm: “Oh you think that's funny? M'kay! You're gonna think it's real funny when Security gets here! You all don't seem to understand how serious this is!! Could we get back to the issue, please... Now who made dookie in the urinal?!”
Captain 8472 “I will hold this caption competition hostage until I win!”
AdmiralM "HEY Russians go F...! YOURSELVES!!"

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© Graham & Ian Kennedy Page views : 754 Last updated : 11 May 2022