|Miss Marple||McCoy: GOOD GOD, MAN! Haven't you heard of "say it, don't spray it?"|
|Miss Marple||Spock: I got Stone's tickets!|
|Miss Marple||McCoy: GOOD GOD, MAN! I meant Special K the breakfast cereal!|
|Miss Marple||Spock: No, Doctor. I do not need to use the "little Vulcan's room."
McCoy: Trust me. That's the face you always get just before you start the pee-pee dance... And this away mission is going to take hours.
|Miss Marple||Spock: ...and then, when I pressed the enter button, it said my votes were accepted!|
|Miss Marple||McCoy's nightmare:
Picking Spock up after school, and having to listen to everything that happened that day.
|Miss Marple||McCoy: Spock, you've got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!|
|Chromedome||"Doctor, I have been experimenting with different diets. Last week, I just ate Pop-Tarts, the week before it was pigs trotters ..."
"And this week?"
|The Geek||Nimoy and Roddenberry decided on the "Vulcan Nerve Pinch" after determining that the "Vulcan Jugular Gnaw" was a bit too much for 60s television.|
|Captain 8472||Spock is attempting the lesser known skill: Vulcan Morning Breath.|
|Bird of Prey||McCoy: "Your father is a computer and you mother an encyclopedia!"
Spock: "TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT MY MOTHER!"
McCoy: "...and your father?"
Spock: "Eh, that's fair enough."
|N'tran DS 12||"Waiter,there is a fly in my Plomeek soup."
"Sorry, Commander, we're out of Tau Ceti eels."
|N'tran DS 12||"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my Plomeek soup?"
"The backstroke, I believe."
|N'tran DS 12||"Doctor, there appears to be a fly in my Plomeek soup."
"Don't worry Spock, they won't charge you extra for it."
|Chromedome||"The next scene should be fun, I sprinkled chilli oil in Shatner's posing pouch."|
|Bird of Prey||McCoy: "My advice? Stick to playing your lute, and let Uhura do the singing."|
|Chromedome||"I said, 'Damn it, Jim. I'm a science officer, not a doctor!'"|
|SlartyBardFast||"And then he screamed Ka-Ka-Ka-Kaaaahhhhnnnnn" and shook so hard he toupee shifted! No shit."|
|Chromedome||"Doctor, shut the f*** up."|
|Chromedome||"Yes, Doctor. I am in some pain. I have been attempting to break the Galaxy-wide ferret legging record."|
|SlartyBardFast||You know who the Orion STD antidote is really for, do you have any left?|
|Simon Beech||“Cough for me Mr Spock.”|
|Bird of Prey||McCoy: "I have to admit, when you told me that you've composed a song inspired by the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, I didn't expect... well, I didn't expect THIS."
"Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
He's only three feet tall
Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of them all..."
|N'tran DS 12||"Spock,it's impolite to chew with your mouth open."|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Spock: "Old country doctor? OLD COUNTRY DOCTOR! I'm looking for a potential holder of my Katra... Who knows what could happen in the future?"
Bones: "In the future, I MAY BE an old country doctor!"
|Chromedome||Spock loses this month's "Who can hold onto the burrito bottom burp?" competition.|
|Captain 8472||“Doctor, is there a good reason my quarters smell like the Captain and shame?”|
|Horta not Vorta||Buuuuuurrrrppp!!!|
|Captain 8472||Every time McCoy wins an argument, Spock suffers a seizure.|
|Bird of Prey||Spock: "My love is a fever, longing still for that which longer nurseth the disease..."
Bones: "Honestly, Spock? I can see maybe some horny Betazoid being impressed with that - but not Lt. Uhura."
|Chromedome||"We have received a threatening call, Doctor. If Frankie Chastnuts drops below #1 in the competition, a bomb will go off in the sun."|
|Chromedome||"Heeheeheehee! Bottom! Heeheeheehee! Banana."|
|Chromedome||"You know, Spock, it's a shame we don't have green shirts in Starfleet. You would make a very convincing elf."
|Chromedome||"Doctor, please could we do this proctology examination somewhere other than the corridor."
"The Jefferies tube?"
"Is that a euphemism?"
|Bird pf Prey||Bones: "So that's the noise a sehlat makes? Sounds just like an Earth goat to me!"|
|Captain 8472||Spock: “I know where the Captain’s tribble went.”
McCoy: “If this is a Richard Gere reference, I’ll pass.”
|EMH_MkI||Mccoy: So, how would a Vulcan smile if they tried?
Spock: Hmm, I will... 'try'. *tries*
Mccoy: Forget I asked.
|Captain 8472||“Doctor, I need help. Jim has decided to sing again.”|
|Captain 8472||“Doctor, are you able to isolate and purge select memories?”|
|EMH_MkII||Spock: Apparently, a certain 'Nimoy' once roamed these corridors. Fascinating.
Mccoy: Dammit, man. I'm a doctor, not a caption competition!
|Obama3rdterm||If Trump is still President, he can not be elected in 2024.|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Spock: "Dr. McCoy... I am NOT a 'hobgoblin' [air quotes]. And while my ears are definitely elongated compared to a human, they are NOT 'pointy' [air quotes]. Oh well... I AM green blooded, but that's besides the point!"|
|Captain 8472||“Doctor, how does my breath smell?”|
|Captain 8472||“Damn it, Spock, I’m a physician, not a dentist!”|
|Cyrus Ramsay||Spock: "Is that a hypo-spray in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"
McCoy: "Mmm, we don't have pockets."
|Captain 8472||Nimoy: Why must I do more facial expression?
Kelly: Someone Named Rick Berman has become involved with production.
|Captain 8472||Every time sweeps week comes up, pandering begins.|
|Cyrus Ramsay||"...and I end up playing second fiddle to Chris Pine!"
|Frankie Chestnuts||Bones: “Whoa, Spock… how ‘bout a breath mint. What the hell you been eating?
Spock: “Nurse Chapel’s Plomeek Soup.”
Bones: “She trying to kill you?”
|Trekanonymous||Spock: Ha white rabbit, good one doctor.|
|Trekanonymous||Spock: Doctor did you know I have a half brother and an adopted sister? McCoy: (Visibly schocked) You do? Spock: (Begins laughing his ass off) Ha gotcha doctor!|
|Trekanonymous||DeForest: Have you heard that Shatner's directing Star Trek 5? Nimoy: *Begins laughing before stopping and then asking* "Wait you're serious, then let me laugh even harder" *then laughs his ass off while walking away.*|
|Trekanonymous||McCoy: Have you heard that Jim's gonna be directing a movie called Star Trek 5? Spock: *Begins laughing hysterically before pulling out a phaser and walks down to engineering.*|
|Trekanonymous||DeForest: Have you heard that Shatner's directing Star Trek 5? Nimoy: *Begins laughing hysterically before pulling out a gun and walking to Shatner's dressing room.*|
|Trekanonymous||Deforest:Have you heard that Shatner's directing Star Trek 5? Spock:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!|
|Peter watts||“We’ve just won the postcode lottery” !!|
|Bird of Prey||Bones: "Damnit Spock, how should I know if your singing is good? I'm a doctor, not a reality show judge!"|
|Captain 8472||Spock: “Doctor, you and I have been assigned a problematic mission. We must explain the benefits of vaccination to an anti-vaxx world.”|
|Captain 8472||Not even Spock is able make sense of the US 2020 election.|
|Captain 8472||Spock: “I have been the one messing with the DITL caption competition.”|
|Captain 8472||Spock: “I just went over the history of Earth’s various religions. I am completely confused!”|
|Captain 8472||Spock: “I walked in on Mr. Scott’s engineering lecture. I could not understand a word he said.”|
|Captain 8472||Spock: “I am so excited, and I just can’t hide it!”
McCoy: “You green blooded jerk! How dare you ruin my favorite song!”
|Bird of Prey||Spock: "Row, row, row your boat..."
Bones: "Keep practicing, and MAYBE you'll do this well enough when we have our fifth movie..."
|Captain||Spock is practicing his facial expressions. Dr. McCoy is not amused.|
|Captain||Proposed Rule of Acquisition: When a Vulcan laughs, run!|
|Captain 8472||“It’s okay, Spock. You are not the the first person to walk in on Jim doing the towel butt floss.”|
|Captain 8472||“Ok, Spock. Who’s personality did you absorb this time?”|
|Justin||Bones: "And people think Data looks creepy when he tries to smile...good grief, Spock!"|
|Captain 8472||When Spock is fighting an uncontrollable case of hiccups, McCoy smiles.|
|Chromedome||"Yes, Doctor, Starfleet are looking for a thief who steals the results of caption competitions."
"What sort of evil lifeform would do a thing like that?"
|Chromedome||"I didn't know you sang falsetto, Spock!"
"I don't, Doctor, but my pants have shrunk in the wash!"
|Captain 8472||“Doctor, I need your help. I have been sentenced to death by the captain’s singing.”|
|Chromedome||Nimoy's rendition of "The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins" is met with a stunning lack of enthusiasm by his fellow castmembers.|
|Miss Marple||After a crewman ran over to Mr Spock and did the Heimlich manoeuvre, Bones promised himself that he would never again just “tune out” around Spock.|
|Miss Marple||Spock: … and then …
Bones: Those “anti-aging” face exercises do not work. It just makes you look ludicrous.
|Miss Marple||Spock, sputtering….
Bones: Calm down, man! Frankie Chestnuts is NOT RELATED to Joey Chestnut, the perennial Nathan’s Famous hot dog eating champion. Besides, Frankie is a vegetarian.
|MR. WORF||Bones : Damn it ! Is he going to keep rambling on all night about his date with Nurse Chappel ????!!!!|
|Captain 8472||Not even Spock could control himself. The rumors regarding Kirk’s latest bedroom fail would entertain and haunt many.|
|Captain 8472||“Please, the Tribble went someplace it shouldn’t have.”|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Spock: “…but I don’t wanna wear a red shirt! I DON’T WANNA AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!”|
|Captain 8472||It appears Spock is allergic to McCoy being correct.|
|Captain 8472||Even Vulcans laugh. The requirements are just beyond absurd.|
|Bird of Prey||The Laughing Vulcan and His Doc|
|Captain 8472||Spock: “I didn’t know Jim had company!”
McCoy: “There was a tie taped to his door.”
|Captain 8472||(insert mouthwash joke here)|
|Captain 8472||“My father is going through a midlife crisis. He wants to move in with me!”|
|Captain 8472||“Cat video’s are so addicting! I cannot stop watching!”|
|Captain 8472||“I just pulled a prank. The captain thinks he is a father!”|
|Captain 8472||“I have been summoned for jury duty. I need to get out of it. It is a divorce trial.”|
|Captain 8472||“I am trying to win an argument with my wife. Doctor, do you have any advice?”|
|Captain 8472||“Did you heat what Jim said to Star Fleet command?”|
|Captain 8472||“What kind of woman would say our captain is bad in bed?”|
|Captain 8472||“Would you like fries with that?”|
|Chromedome||Spock: "FRANKIE'S ALIVE!!!!"
McCoy: "Sorry Spock, your Brian Blessed impersonation is rubbish."
|Chromedome||"Doctor, please can you remove this Tribble from my rectum?"|
|Chromedome||McCoy, fed up with the Vulcan Nerve Pinch, demonstrates the Terran Groin Grab.|
|Chromedome||"I like big butts and I cannot lie."|
|ehass40062||I swear I closed the refrigerator door!|
|Bird of Prey||Spock: "I beat you in 3D chess, Doctor. Six times in a row. Logic dictates that I'm now entitled to what you humans call 'bragging rights'."|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Nimoy: "YES, I photograph LARGE NAKED WOMEN! BIG DEAL!! You must have hobbies also!?"
Kelley: "Well... I do collect fungus."
Nimoy: "Are they naked?"
|PegasusJF||The apparent loss of last month's captions was a deep blow for all. Spock, however was trying to be cheerful about it.|
|Chromedome||In space ... no-one can hear you acting.|
|Chromedome||"Spock, if you want me to check your tonsils then you'll have to do better than that."|
|Captain Whichway||I have told you already doctor, I have no interest in going to a ferengi brothel. My ears do not require caressing for another seven years|
|EMH_MkI||Spock: *opens his mouth to say something*
*sees caption commentators*
*leaves without saying anything*
|Chromedome||You'd be screaming too if you had a fringe like that!|
|Trekanonymous||McCoy: So is this classified as blue uniformed or green faced?|
|Trekanonymous||Spock: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Bing Boom Attention your Mr.Spock has crashed. To reset...|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Spock: "What the hell is the matter with you, Doctor... I just want to drop off my Katra in you for a bit. Maybe an hour or two. I have a date with Christine Chapel. I have no need for my soul."|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Spock: "It’s Pon FARR… Pon FAAAAAAARR… Like STAR! Or Bumper CAR!"|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Spock: "...RIGHT HERE! My Lower Left Lateral Incisor!"
Bones: "Dam it Spock, I'm a doctor, not a dentist!"
|Commodore Bob Wesley||McCoy: "My, what pointy ears you have!"
Spock: "The better to hear you with..."
|Commodore Bob Wesley||Dental medicine was not a priority in the 23d century.|
|Miss Marple||The problem with doing speed is that your mind races a mile a minute, and you just blurt stuff out without thinking.
Or so I’ve heard.
|Frankie Chestnuts||Bones: “Dam it Spock… I’m a doctor, not a comic.”
Spock: “You could have fooled me!”
|Captain Kirk||Spock: But Doctor, I can't stop laughing!
McCoy: I know, it a once in a life time experience with that cursed Vulcan blood of yours.
|Captain Kirk||Spock: So Doctor McCoy, you're telling m that I have laughing syndrome.
Spock: SO I will be highly illogical.
Spock: Oh S***, my vulcan reputation is ruined!
|Captain 8472||Here we see a rare instance of Leonard Nimoy breaking character during filming.|
|Captain 8472||Spock, his voice failing him.|
|Captain 8472||Spock: I need your help. My ex-wife is looking for me.
McCoy: I see even Vulcans have messy divorces.
Spock: Will you assist or not?
McCoy: Let me just enjoy the look on your face for a moment.
|Captain 8472||Spock: It is all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
McCoy: Then it is all fun and games without depth perception.
|Captain 8472||Spock, mid sneeze.|
|Captain 8472||Spock just lost another argument to Dr. McCoy.|
|Captain 8472||Spock: I have found happiness.|
|© Graham & Ian Kennedy||Page views : 1,782||Release date : 30 Nov -0001|