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The Geek Odo: "Huh. So tell me, Mr. Starfleet, have you ever committed even just the tiniest infraction?"
Sisko: "No, but I have done some shady shit for a Klondike Bar."

Special Mention

Name Caption
MR. WORF Odo : Commander , where's your proof of vaccination passport ??
Frankie Chestnuts Odo: "I'm telling you, Captain... Ever since I've become a solid, I've lost EVERY staring contest!"
Captain 8472 This staring contest will have a predictable winner. Only one individual has no biological requirement for blinking.
Captain 8472 “Commander, has anyone told you that you would look better with a goatee and shaved head?”
Chromedome "So your nose can't change shape because you've got a Covid swab stuck up it?"
Miss Marple Sisko: Back off Father Mulcahy! I was complementing your performance on M*A*S*H, not mashing.
Frankie Chestnuts Odo: "So when I was first working with Dr. Pol, he had me transform into various basic shapes... cubes, spheres, cylinders... Then we transitioned to more complex shapes: pyramids, cones... That's when it got disturbing. First it was a meat cleaver. Then a toilet [shutters]. It got worse from there..."
The Geek Odo: "Commander, just between you and me, something smells."
Sisko: "What is it, Constable?"
Odo: "Your nose."
Sisko: "Working on your sense of humor, eh?"
Odo: "So what do you think?"
Sisko: "It stinks."
Odo: "Then I odor work on it some more."
Kira (offscreen) "WILL YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF?!?"
SlartyBardFast Since space travel began, from the brave, intrepid explorers and the rugged home-steaders to even the consummate professionals of Star Fleet, all the voyages have been marked by the bitter contest of wills of “he who smelt it…"
SlartyBardFast “Odo, why did you let me walk into a kiddie pool?”
“I was preparing to relax sir”
“I hope that’s water I’m standing in.”



“It is not, sir."
Chromedome "Odo, did you put the cat out?"
"we don't have a cat, Commander."
"It's just as well you didn't put it out then."
"..."
Miss Marple Forgive me, DITL Captioneers, if I keep coming up with naughty comments, but you’re the one with the “naughty” pictures.
Miss Marple Sisko: “It’s always Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”
Odo: Excuse me, Commander, but that phrase has recently been replaced by “It’s always Frankie, Frankie, Frankie!”
Sisko: But … Frankie Chestnuts was never even on the Brady Bunch.
The Geek Odo: "I spoke to the widow. She told me her old husband's last words before he kicked the bucket."
Sisko: "'Kicked the bucket', Constable?"
Odo: "An old Earth idiom. May I continue?"
Sisko: "By all means."
Odo: "He said, 'Do you want to see how far I can kick this bucket?'"
Sisko: "Excellent set up and punchline; much better from last week."
Bird of Prey Sisko: "I hear you've been annoying Quark again?"
Odo: "Sir, I can explain..."
Sisko: "Today is my turn to annoy Quark!"
The Geek Odo: "I solved the mystery of why the old and blind Katterpod farmer fell down the well on his property."
Sisko: "And?"
Odo: "He couldn't see that well, Commander."
Sisko: "Where are you getting your material?"
Odo: "From one who calls himself 'The Geek'. I will chat with him about it later."
Sisko: "See to it that you do."
Odo: "I see what you did there."
Kira (offscreen): "AARRGH!"
Frankie Chestnuts Odo: "Captain, I-"
Sisko: "Constable... I'm going by the name "Hawk" now."
Odo: "Hawk?"
Sisko: "Correct. Hawk. No other name. Just Hawk. Like Bono, or Cher. My best friend is "Spencer".
Odo: "Spencer? Does he have another name."
Sisko: "Nope... just Spencer."
Odo: "Captain, you do realize I only have one name... Like Madonna, or Charo... or Stimpy."
Frankie Chestnuts Sisko: "No Constable... Your ass doesn't look big in that uniform. But good God, your nose could lose a few centimeters."
Chromedome "DO. NOT. EVER. Pretend to be my morning doughnut."
Miss Marple Odo: You wanted to discuss my log entries?
Sisko: Starfleet prefers you just start off with "Constable's Log:" and proceed from there. There's no need for a preamble like "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death..."
Odo: You object to Shakespeare?
The Geek Sisko: "...That's right, all of my underwear was stolen from my quarters."
Odo: "Very well, I'll open an investigation, beginning with Quark."
Sisko: "Quark? Why?"
Odo: "I always investigate Quark."
Sisko: "You know, I might not actually want to know about his level of involvement..."
Captain 8472 “Odo, Quark has crossed a line. I want his ears on my desk by tomorrow morning, 0800.”
=NoPoet= It had been thirty-eight hours and his eyes felt like they were on fire, but Sisko wasn't going to lose the third Annual Staring Contest.
Chromedome "Hold it, Odo. Miss Marple called. She says you're not up to impersonating Frankie Chestnuts."

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© Graham & Ian Kennedy Page views : 2,741 Last updated : 1 Oct 2021