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| Name | Caption |
| SlartyBardFast | "And then he screamed Ka-Ka-Ka-Kaaaahhhhnnnnn" and shook so hard he toupee shifted! No shit." |
| Name | Caption |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Spock: "...RIGHT HERE! My Lower Left Lateral Incisor!" Bones: "Dam it Spock, I'm a doctor, not a dentist!" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Spock: "It’s Pon FARR… Pon FAAAAAAARR… Like STAR! Or Bumper CAR!" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Spock: "What the hell is the matter with you, Doctor... I just want to drop off my Katra in you for a bit. Maybe an hour or two. I have a date with Christine Chapel. I have no need for my soul." |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Nimoy: "YES, I photograph LARGE NAKED WOMEN! BIG DEAL!! You must have hobbies also!?" Kelley: "Well... I do collect fungus." Nimoy: "Are they naked?" |
| Chromedome | McCoy, fed up with the Vulcan Nerve Pinch, demonstrates the Terran Groin Grab. |
| Captain 8472 | “Please, the Tribble went someplace it shouldn’t have.” |
| Miss Marple | Spock, sputtering…. Bones: Calm down, man! Frankie Chestnuts is NOT RELATED to Joey Chestnut, the perennial Nathan’s Famous hot dog eating champion. Besides, Frankie is a vegetarian. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Bones: “Whoa, Spock… how ‘bout a breath mint. What the hell you been eating? Spock: “Nurse Chapel’s Plomeek Soup.” Bones: “She trying to kill you?” |
| Chromedome | "Doctor, please could we do this proctology examination somewhere other than the corridor." "The Jefferies tube?" "Is that a euphemism?" |
| Captain 8472 | “Doctor, is there a good reason my quarters smell like the Captain and shame?” |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Spock: "Old country doctor? OLD COUNTRY DOCTOR! I'm looking for a potential holder of my Katra... Who knows what could happen in the future?" Bones: "In the future, I MAY BE an old country doctor!" |
| Bird of Prey | McCoy: "Your father is a computer and you mother an encyclopedia!" Spock: "TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT MY MOTHER!" McCoy: "...and your father?" Spock: "Eh, that's fair enough." |
| Miss Marple | McCoy's nightmare: Picking Spock up after school, and having to listen to everything that happened that day. |
| Miss Marple | Spock: ...and then, when I pressed the enter button, it said my votes were accepted! |
| Miss Marple | Spock: No, Doctor. I do not need to use the "little Vulcan's room." McCoy: Trust me. That's the face you always get just before you start the pee-pee dance... And this away mission is going to take hours. |
| Miss Marple | McCoy: GOOD GOD, MAN! I meant Special K the breakfast cereal! |
| Miss Marple | Spock: I got Stone's tickets! |
| Miss Marple | McCoy: GOOD GOD, MAN! Haven't you heard of "say it, don't spray it?" |
| The Geek | Not even the most stoic Vulcan can suppress a yelp of surprise when the "Kirk Maneuver" is executed on him. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of China White Heroin burst? |
| The Geek | Ah, here we see the result of Scotty's famous "Beam A Tribble Into Their Trousers" prank. |
| Captain 8472 | Spock: It is all fun and games until someone loses an eye. McCoy: Then it is all fun and games without depth perception. |
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