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Reed: What happened?
Phlox: It appears you got into a fight wit the Captain and he knocked you out
Reed: You're telling that I lost a fight to Captain Archer?
Phlox: It appears that way.
Reed: Please just shoot me now.
TOO... MUCH ... Miley Cyrus ....
Reed: Can't....breathe...horrible...God help us
Archer: Phlox, what's happening?
Phlox: Don't worry Captain, this will pass. He just saw the script to "These are the Voyages." Just yesterday, I found T'Pol crying after she read the script.
This is the big one. I'm coming to join you Elizabeth
Mayweather: Captain, we have entered the orbit of Yucks V. The head of the clown council is hailing us.
Reed: Clowns, why did have to be actual clowns.
Phlox: I believe you are having the worse case of heartburn I have ever seen.
his is the big one. I'm coning to join you Elizabeth
heart attacks...IN SPACE!
Reed: "Thank you, sir... May I have another?"
Reed: ''I know this ship like the back of my hand. Mainly because I have drawn a map of the former on the latter. Let's see... This should be Deck C, Corridor 11...''
Reed: ''Sometimes, I am just lying here and watch the stars...''
Trip: ''These are not stars. They are the lamps on the ceiling.''
Reed: ''Party pooper.''
1960's had the British Invasion.
2150's had the British Inversion.
Sudden Political Ad Dementia is a terrible disease striking more and more citizens everyday. SPAD is characterized by apathy, cynicism, sarcasm, and seizures must be combated with education and thought otherwise victims can end up rolling around like sick Targs.
"Yeah, we sat him down and made him watch the entire series. He kind of went comatose after the Borg episode......."
I think the gravity needs some adjustment .
Reed: ''Woah! That damn cook used too many jalapeños again!''
Most British people are all "stiff upper lip". Reed took it a step further with "stiff upper body ".
"I was sure there was no such thing as a Vulcan Death Grip."
Trip: ''I thought that this is only a stereotype, but it's apparently true. You Brits ARE all incredibly stiff!''
Reed: ''Have... to... open... collar.. button...To... tight... Can't... breath...''
Every alien seem to beat up the Captain easily.
I get decked in the first round of sparring with him.
Not good.
NO! Porthos NO! Bad dog.
Lower Decks
Et tu, Brute?
The results of an encounter with an anti-social clown and a 220V joy buzzer.
Star Trek Quiz: What do you get if you cross a Security Officer with one of those little fainting goats?
Star Trek Quiz: What was the line voltage used on the early NX-Class Starships, prior to the major safety changes in the late 22nd century?
T'Pol: I find your lack of logic disturbing.
Reed: ''Hey, Captain, check out our new carpet! It's so heavenly comfy!''
Trip: ''Malcolm! Are you okay? What happened!?''
Reed: ''Have... seen... Dr. Phlox... NAKED...''
No matter how far we come in terms of tolerance and empowerment, there are still consequences when you call someone a bitch, REED!
An aficionado of mid-twentieth century New Wave Music, Malcolm would entertain the bridge crew with his "Rock Lobster" dance.
May god strike me dea…
Reed: ''Since I have to stay down here for a while, I can as well use the time to practice the dance moves to the Ketchup Song.''
Reed: ''Since I have to stay down here for a while, I can as well use the time to practice the Macarena.''
Malcolm learned the hard way that you should not feed Dr. Phlox after midnight!
Damn .... If I can just reach my camera , I can get a shot of T'pol bending down at me. What a shot !!!!
Smitten... to the EXTREME!
He insisted on watching Star Trek V.
Ride Him Ho shi!
He stunned himself! You'd think that if someone knows how to handle a phase pistol with care, it would be him...
Oil can. Oil can.
Trump said WHAT?
Reed: "Rowdy Roddy Piper was here, and he was all out of gum."
"Fainting Goat-boy" -the nickname he was never able to shake off.
Of course, "Trip" was really no prize either.
Frank: Throw open the switches on the sonic oscillator and step up the reactor power input (audience: THREE MORE TRIANGLES!) three more points!
Janet: Oh Brad!
Brad: It’s all right Janet!
Frank: Oh, Rocky!!
Reed: Unnngggghhhh!
Reed: "My only regret... is that I have... boneitis!"
Trip: My only regret... is that I have... boneitis!
Trip: My only regret... is that I have... boneitis!
When there is absolutely nothing to shot, ignite or to blow up, Reed's only other hobby is intensely starring at the ceiling for hours.
Apology accepted, mr Reed.
Not shown in this image: T'Pol in black leather, wielding a riding crop.
Reed: ''Klingons can spend the whole night sleeping on bare metal. And am lying on this floor for only five minutes, and I get horrible cramps in my back!''
You are vertical, this is horizontal, it's best not to confuse the two.
But what is his OTHER hand doing? That's what we REALLY want to know!
It's all very well telling me to lie on the floor and writhe about, but WHAT is my characters motivation for this scene? I'm a method actor, darling, I need something to work with!
Don't ... gasp ... use ... wretch ... the ... shudder ... head!
well since all the other red shirts are doing it
Reed: ''Note to self, never again ask T'Pol if she will be your hand-to-hand combat sparring parter. Being thrown onto the ground within the first five seconds is just too embarrassing...''
Tragedy struck when Reed saw the intro to Enterprise...
Reed: "Kiss me Trip"
Officer down.
Reed can't handle the canon inconsistencies ethier...
When the beat drops
Malcolm calls this dance move "The Torpedo."
He just saw the preview for the final episode of "Enterprise."
J-J-J-jon....Stu...Stewart.... Jon Stewart... Jon, Jon...
I can't believe he's gone!
Reed, always the scholar, demonstrates primitive sign language. Here he shows the sign for "constipation".
Reed: ''I really should have told the Captain about my arachnophobia, before he sent me on the mission to meet the ambassador of Tarantula IV...''
Malcolm to T'pol: Looks like pon farr came early.
As the series prgressed, Reed's attempts to work the stick out of his ass became more and more desperate.
"What happened to him?"
"Oh, nothing, it's just that Mayweather had more than one line in this episode."
No, please don't hurt me! I'll never say anything good about 'these are the voyages' again.
Reed's hand: "Stop hitting yourself", , "Stop hitting yourself"...
A "bitch slap" is degrading, doubly so when it is your own hand that slaps you.
"Petrificus Totalus."
Reed (thinking): "Why do I even keep the phase pistol next to my shaver?!?"
The surprise colonoscopy on the Bridge rendered Reed unable to leave his "Happy Place".
Poor bastard. If had read the appropriate entry in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, he would have known better than to chug a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.
The reaction of every Democrat in America if Trump actually becomes President.
Slide #11 from the Federation’s “Bullying in the Workplace” presentation.
Yes... I AM wearing a red undershirt... why do you ask?
You went full Shatner, man. Never go full Shatner.
I've left the stove on!
Phlox: ''Rigor mortis? What is that?''
Reed: ''I don't believe it! You claim to be a doctor, and you have never even heard of rigor mortis!?''
Phlox: ''Well, no. Can you perhaps describe it to me?''
Reed: ''Well, it looks sorta like this.''
If only he had heeded his mother’s advice… but it was too late, and he froze that way.
Sad as it was, the hand did what it had to do, for Reed's addition to Poetry Night on the Enterprise would have drove the crew insane.
Phlox: Ah, there you are Lieutenant, don't worry, the paralysis and mind blowing pain you feel is simply the Denobulan Soul Crusher parasite doing its work. You'll be right as rain in about a month.
Just remember kids: Never....EVER...listen to Vogon poetry.
The Ministry of Silly Walks finally lost the last of its funding after what happened to Lt. Reed.
Some people just choke under pressure, for Reed his entire body collapses and his hand tries to strangle himself.
I used to be the tactical officer for Earth's mightiest ship, but then I took a phaser blast to the knee.
It finally dawned on Reed that he simply must stop hitting himself!
"Our ratings are down here somewhere!"
Always the cut-up... Reed loved to entertain the bridge crew with his Michael Jackson "Thriller" routine.
Reed: ''That's it! It's over! The end! My back has touched the ground, and thus I have lost the limbo contest!''
Darth Vader: You have failed me for the last time!
Malcolm (thinking): Note to self: No more pressure point sessions with Trip.
… I find that sometimes it’s just easier to find the contacts if you lie on the floor and look around at an oblique angle …
When he said "you could knock him over with a feather", he wasn't joking!
Ever the exhibitionist, Malcolm always took the "Hokey Cokey" too far.
Must undo top button...can't darkening...
Reed: "This new carpeting is so plush. Really, feel it."
Archer: *tired* Reed. Just get back to your station.
T'Pol: Mr. Reed. This is the third time I've caught you wriggling toward me on the floor. Does this have anything to do with my decision to wear a dress today?
Reed: What?! No. No, uh... I, um, dropped a, uh... You only saw me three times?
Producer: Hey, everyone! They renewed us for a 5th season!
Dominic Keating: *thump, gurgles*
Star Trek Quiz: What's the typical reaction when someone hears Shatner singing.
Star Trek Quiz: What's the typical reaction when someone first watches "The Final Frontier"?
Star Trek Quiz: What's the typical reaction when Mayweather gets more than three lines in an episode?
Star Trek Quiz: What's the typical reaction when someone sees Phlox cutting his toenails?
Star Trek Quiz: What's the typical reaction when someone sees T'Pol naked?
Star Trek Quiz: What's the typical reaction when someone sees Phlox naked?
Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of China White Heroin burst?
Hearing that a creature called a "basilisk" had come aboard Enterprise, Malcolm Reed decided to confront the beast--with tragic results.
Much to the entire crew's envy, Reed won every breakdance competition by ending with his signature "freeze".
Trip: ''You were complaining that the artificial gravity on this ship is too low, so I have adjusted it. Is it more to your liking now?''
Reed: *can barely breathe*


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 15,089 Release date : 1 Sep 2015