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Caption Competition


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Are we there yet?
"There can be only one!"
"Will you stop saying that."
Alien: Remember, you may pick your friends, and you may pick your nose, but... hmm, ah, well... I guess you could pick YOUR friend's nose...
Wow! Every time I adjust the volume, the icon pops up right on Picard's junk.
And I can't make myself stop doing it!
The belt is a good width, but wearing it that low does not create the sense of slenderness you want AT ALL.
Furthermore, it makes your butt pooch out even farther!
The New Year's Eve custom of counting down... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Alien: ''Two Picards? Astonishing!''
Picard: ''Oh, that is nothing! You should see the transporter room. Down there walk 500 Miles O'Briens!''
To those of us who have won only one caption competition, the day will come when will have two!
Alien: ''...and with aid of my finger's tip, I'll do a magic trick!''
Picard: ''A very well done illusion! I understand that you are not allowed to reveal to laypeople how you did this, but I guess it involves mirrors?''
alien: remember, there can be only one.
Some quick thinking and creation of a clone saved Picard from an examination from Starfleet's proctologist.
Picard:"There is....... one clone!!!"
Blue: "Very good, you are ready to move on to lesson two."
He quickly realized that this is the wrong time to ask him how many fingers can see had after the transporter accident.
He quickly realized that this is the wrong time to have him how many fingers he still had after the transporter accident.
At least you have 10 fingers, I only get four and we are a species of typist.
I watched E.T., I will have you fixed up in no time.
Blue guy "I still have one question."
PiCard squared
Picard used Double Team!
Picard's evasiveness rose!
Alien used Karate Chop!
But it missed!
Alien: "I tell you... I gotta cut out the egg nog. I'm seeing double."
Alien: "I tell you... I gotta cut out the egg nog. I'm seeing double."
"One more thing..."
Alien: "I tell you... I gotta cut out the egg nog. I'm seeing double."
Picard: ''You created clones of me??''
Alien: Only one!''
Picard: ''You created clones of me??''
Alien: ''One one!''
After the "Dancing Doctor"
came the "Copied Captain".
There is one thing different between you two and thing... well, is bigger than this on one... and smaller on the other....
Alien: ''One to beam up!''
Picard: ''Learn to count, be you give commandos in my place!''
Alien: ''I have a complaint! Who is the captain of this ship?''
Both Picards: ''ME!''
Alien: ''One Frappuccino, please.''
Picard: ''Do we look like two Starbucks? Wrong science fiction franchise!''
"Watch what I can do with my finger!"
*pew* *pew*
Twin alien rectal exams...IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!
One of you is not like the other.
Alien: "Alright guys... First rule for becoming a member of the Blue Man Group... YA GOTTA BE WEARING BLUE!!!"
A Man Alone....NOT.
The captain was beside himself with joy upon meeting the Minoxidilian Ambassador.
The "Ghost of Christmas Present" turned out to be the embodiment of "dandruff shampoo" , who just hung around, taunting and chastising him about "IF ONLY you had taken better care of your hair… " and "It's too late to do anything about it now!" and generally rattling his chain.
Blue Alien: "Hi kids!!! Tonight on Mr. Wizard... The Magic of Mirrors!"
Alien: ''No no no no! I'll explain how dueling works! First, you turn around, so that you are facing each other's back. Then, you hold up your phasers like this, and walk forward, let's say five steps...
Tell me if you've heard this one before:
An alien, a ship's captain and a clone walked into a bar...
Picards thinking: "At least the other guy is not a Romulan clone."
"Okay, we really need to sort which of you is the real Picard. After all, the Captain's Chair is only big enough for one of you... literally and metaphorically."
"This is really going to be one of those days..."
So... an alien in brightly coloured clothing AND a duplicate of the Captain.
Must be Thursday.
♫ Aliens to the left of me... clones to the right...
Here I am... stuck in the middle with you... ♫
The Apprentice ... IN SPAAAACE!
"Picard, you're fired!"
Don't try to out-weird me, Picard! I get stranger things than you in my breakfast cereal!
There can be only one.
Nonsense! You can't fire me! You'll never find ANYONE to replace me!
I am Spartacus!
Voice of God: Your prayers have been answered: I have "totally hooked [you] up with twins."
Alien, "There are TWO Picards!"
One of these things is not like the... Oh, COME ON!!
Madame Tussaud took it to the next level with her Nanopolymer Museum.
Two Picards double chance to end up in DITL caption comp!
Alien: Wow, Captain, you really look like you're...beside yourself. *rimshot*
Picard: And for that, you deserve to be...pun-ished. *rimshot*
Alien: *DRAW* 'my bad, you wanna hit this shit?'
Picard: ''I have just found out that this man is coming from the same little French town as me! He even knows my brother Robert! Can you imagine that?''
Alien: ''Uhm...''
Picard thinking: Now that is why we don't ware spandex uniforms anymore!
All the things wrong with this picture in 3... 2... 1...
A favorite part of the schoolchildren's Dr. Seuss holo-books is when the 'Alien-in-Blue' introduces Picard 1 and Picard 2.
Alien: *DRAW* 'my bad, you wanna hit this shit?'
'Ok... This is a parallel dimension or some crap isn't it, go on just say it, I've done something wierd to the space time spondominatrix or something and now I'm back in time or I'm on a virtual reality gig or aliens or screwing with me somehow in some way I can't detect, well I do ok I've seen this many times and can fairly assume what's next ok! And I'm not doing it I've had it!'
Picard: 'Your not going to go mental like Rikers doppelgänger did are you?!'
Picard: 'Good heavens no! I may start drinking coffee though, I should also get married I guy my age still single, they'll start saying I'm gay'
Picard: You are Gay. *smirk*
Picard: !?!?!?
Francisco de Goya's "Not all Picards are similar" puzzles modern viewers as much as his contemporaries, leaving the viewer confused and mesmerized by its absurdity.
What deeper allegorical meaning can be found in something so bizarre that even de Goya's contempories considered it the product of a deranged mind.
Alien: And there you have it: a life-sized action figure of you, Captain. What do you think?
Picard: That's it. No more "Captain Picard Day."
Picard#1: "What's with this guy?"
Picard#2: "I know... Check out that outfit!"
Picard#1: "..and that cranium!"
Alien: "Gentlemen, I'm standing right here.
Picard#2: "...and what's the deal with those hands?"
Picard#1: "I know! How many fingers IS that? Those gloves aren't helping the situation at all."
Alien: "I'm standing... RIGHT HERE!"
Picard#2: "Do you see that cod piece?"
Alien: ''Don't you mean four?''
Picard: ''Four lights for each Captain Picard, and here are two Picards - do the math.''
Picard to Data: A purely hypothetical question. If I had sex with my own clone would it be considered masterbation?
Picard: who's this stunningly handsome fellow before me, eh?
Picard: Oh stop you'll make us blush!
That's some very interesting artwork for The Cheeky Girls new album.
"First, neither of us will tolerate that sort of rudeness. Second, you're using the wrong finger."
Yeah, so I pick my nose. At least there's only one of me!
One Picard to rule them all!
Picard: ''I don't like this guy! He is always grumpy, hates children, only drinks Earl Grey tea all day and tends to hold long and boring speeches!''
Alien: ''Uhm...''
Picard #1: "What do you get when you cross Jay Leno with a cauliflower and dress him in dayglo blue?"
Picard #2: "I'm not sure, but he appears to be trying to get our attention."
"You know, if I cross my eyes, you two go 3D!"
Picard on left, snidely: I think he needs to add a couple extra "A"s to that Spandex™.
Picard on right, smirking: I can't believe he thinks he can carry that look off!
Both, laughing: SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-ANDEX™.
Alien: ''May the real Picard please stand up?''
Picard: ''We are both already standing, you moron.''
Little known fact: Every time the Captain says: "Number One", he is secretly envisioning himself.
Not to be outdone by the Double Picard Maneuver, the alien performs the Blah-blah-blah response.
The hottest couple of the year is interviewed by the Blue Suit Society
Picard: ''OK, who turned the transporter intro a cloning machine?''
Alien: ''It was me.''
And for my next trick I shall make my finger vanish where the sun don't shine
Just one, please.
Death Finger, meet Death Glare.
(I bet the Glare wins.)
So punks do ya feel lucky?
In no particular order:
My, his badge is shiny.
My, his shirt is shiny.
My, his head is shiny.
Thinking he's seeing double, the alien performs the "Eye Self-Test".
Alien: "How many fingers do I see now?"
They found the Chou-fleurian Ambassador mesmerizing...
Thinking he's seeing double, the alien performs the "Eye Self-Test".
The future of Spanx is BRIGHT.
Picard #1 (whispering): "Will you look at that cranium. Think he's trying to overcompensate for something?"
Picard #2 (whispering): "And just LOOK at that outfit... It's SO last year!"
Picard: You seem to be suffering from "Micky Mouse Glove-Hand Syndrome."
Alien motions back: "F**K YOU"!
Hey, you two, my EYES are UP HERE!
Picard, whispering: That's the FLATTEST codpiece I've EVER seen.
Picard, whispering back: True dat!

Meet Jean Luc, who's lived most everywhere,
From Zanzibar to Barclay Square.
But Johnny’s only seen the sights
A guy can see from Brooklyn Heights — What a crazy pair!
But they're Captains,
Identical Captains and you'll find,
They laugh alike, they walk alike,
At times they even talk alike —
You can lose your mind,
When Captains are two of a kind!

"The Cpt. Picard Show"
Double the pleasure, double the fun
Eenie meenie miney mo, catch a Klingon by his toe. If he hollers let him go, eenie meenie miney mo ...
The producer tries to decide which Picard clone to put in front of the camera.
I'm gonna kill my agent when I get off this set.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
It's the Count from Sesame Street - "One, bwah ha ha. Two, bwah ha ha!"
You'd look this bad if your codpiece was as tight as mine!
Yeah spaceboy, swivel on it!
Q ! That's got to be the worst costume ever.
Picards: We are not amused!
Picard: Make it Dou!
Thing 1, meet Thing 2
''Shoot him! I am the real Picard!''
''No, shoot HIM! I am Captain Picard!''
''Guys? This is just my finger, not a gun.''
Alien: "I pick... YOU!"
Other Picard: "Aww, RATS!!"
Alien: "That's right... I only work out 14 minutes ONCE per week."
Alien: "Remember Captains... Periwinkle is the NEW BLACK this season."
Alien: "Ah, Ah, Ah... You didn't say the magic word!"
(Be sure to watch 'A Christmas Story' this month.)
Alien: "Four beer for the woodcutters!"
Alien: Two men enter! One man leaves!
I'm singularly impressed.
Pull my finger.
There's bald, then there's BALD, and then there's BAAAAAAAAAAALD!
Alien: "I'm looking for Jean Luc Picard."
Picard #1: "It's him..."
Picard #2: "No it's not... He's the one!"

One of these things is not like the other.
One of these things just doesn't belong...
Crimes of Fashion... IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 9,946 Release date : 1 Jan 2015