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Everyone thought this style of decor was the fault of the hippies, but historians trace it’s origins back to TOS.
Orion: ''What is a 'greenhorn'? I thought only our men have a green horn!''
The Universal translator misinterprets some “slang" as Marta explains about the junk she has tied onto her arms with pipe cleaners.
Marta: I must warn you that I looked better before they did the digital remastering.
Kirk: So did I. Everybody did.
It turned out that all the "Lucky Bamboo Plants” in my apartment were actually cannabis, so after I got out of jail I started working here.
Relax! When I said I wouldn’t stand for that, I just meant I wanted to sit down.
Before HD you couldn't see the wrinkles on her neck.
This episode prompted the franchise to make a brief foray into a Star Trek -Manga! storyline.
"Captain, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior, the Great Gazoo?"
"I'm sorry, captain. It would just be too weird with a pink man."
"Green? I'm not green, Captain... you just need to stop sampling the mushrooms on every damned planet you land on."
Kirk: I'd love to, my dear, but I'm afraid Batman would kick my ass.
McCoy: He's taking one for the team. The horrors he must facing.
Spock: The Captain is currently having sex with t the Orion slave girl in exchange the medication needed on Ataris IV.
Bone: Well that explains why he was so damned happy. I'll be in sickbay prepping the penicillin.
Orion slave girl: I am here to carry out the sentence of the court. Death by Snu Snu.
Kirk: Oh thank God
It's not easy being green, but for Kirk, it's easy doing green.
Did you know that, during the RNC, male prostitutes “make out like bandits”? Kirk didn’t.
Kirk is trying to think of a 'Men’s Health' magazine article that covers this situation.
Did you know that, during the RNC, male prostitutes “make out like bandits”? Kirk didn’t.
Shh! Don't be shocked by this, but I'm secretly Batgirl, working undercover.
You've got to get this message out to Batman.
" Queen to King's level one. "
What a way to die!
Kirk: "Listen Marta... You CAN'T hold your breath forever...
Come on, Marta...
OK, OK... I'll kiss you. But just ONCE!"
She Hulk versus Captain K
Jill Stein, still running for president… in the FUTUUUUUUUUUURE...
Strange Bedfellows
No, I'm human like you. I just ate way too many green jellybeans as a child.
Practicing the right to BARE arms.
Kirk: ''You are so green! Are you sick? Perhaps Dr. McCoy should examine you.''
Orion: ''Oh, I'd prefer to play doctor with YOU...''
Captain's personal log, star date unknown, didn't bring any protection and only hope that this green is natural and not a result of her having a STD. Bones would never let me live this down if I came back to the ship and told him that my urine wasn't the only thing that turned green.
Who's this 'Kermit' you kept moaning about when we were doing it?
Orion: "Why were you singing about some Greensleeves chick? Are you seeing another Orion girl!?''
So you want to try a "Trump-Pence" maneuver?
Marta: “Hey, baby, you got girlfriend on Elba II?”
Kirk: “Not just this minute.”
Marta: “Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. Me love you long time. You party?”
Yay! This inflatable Kirk doll is just what I wanted for Christmas!
What are Little Girls Made Of?
Thanks to the latest software update on the universal translator, the junk on her crappy charm bracelet is grossing Kirk out in 3… 2… 1!
Bones: ''I don't believe it! Jim is rejecting the amorous advances made by a hot alien chick?''
Spock: ''Shoot him! He must be an impostor!"
A slightly different Hooker...
(This one won't be a T. J.)
Orion Girl: I've got your gun.
Kirk: I guess that means I'm happy to see you.
Pictured: A violation of Star Trek fan film guidelines.
Kirk realized very quickly that the Orion's visual acuity was based on movement.
Holding his breath... He hoped for the best.
Kirk realized very quickly that the Orion's visual acuity was based on movement.
Holding his breath... He hoped for the best.
Just relax captain, if your a good little boy maybe later ill put on my batgirl costume for you
Kirk: ''Finally, my wildest fantasies come true! Kiss me!''
Orion (with the voice of Bones): ''I don't know what you see, Jim, but you should better lay down again, until your hallucinations are over!''
"On my world, green means go."
Star Trek production designers often borrow sets from My Little Pony for financial reasons.
Kirk tries to camouflage himself on the bed.
Yes, Captain, I strangled the interior designer, just like this. I mean, pink walls, yellow bed - how is that meant to work with green skin? And all this bling on the walls makes it look like a tacky night club. You noticed the carpet was sticky when you came in? That's from all the guests who have barfed when they saw the state of the place.
I said, please can I borrow a cup of sugar and some teabags?
Kirk, showing his "feigning interest" face.
Kirk is wondering which card he should charge this on... His "Discovery Card" gives free miles, but his “Woman Card” gives him at least 21% cash back on all goods and services.
Resistance is FUTILE.
What's the matter Captain ?
Well ... Hmmm ... I'm not quite sure what you have that I don't want.
Kirk: " you're saying you CAN'T adjust your color balance."
Examine the picture very thoroughly and you may notice a Starship Captain.
Young Lady: I REALLY like Bernie because he is SO focused on his movement.
Old Guy: IBS… makes sense.
Young Lady: I REALLY like Bernie because he is SO focused on his movement.
Old Guy: Well, a lotta times old people become irregular… according to TV.
Young Lady: I REALLY like Bernie because he is SO focused on his movement.
Old Guy: You know, that’s why they make Metamucil.
My little Orion girl, says "Baby just you shut your mouth!"
(apologies to Daavid Bowie)
So, to clarify, when you say you’re "felling the burn"… is that a political thing, or just "code" for herpes?
BTW: It is much easier to be a Libertarian than to be a member of the Green Party.
Marta: That's funny! -Nearly everybody's "safe word" is SOYLENT.
Kirk: "I think I've dislocated my shoulder."
Marta: "Oh... I'm so sorry."
Kirk: "No, no... It was great!"
Marta: "You've GOT to tell me... Is that beautiful Communications Officer of yours seeing anyone special?"
Sometimes that pretty green bush is poison ivy.
Caveat: Think carefully about everything involved before you join a political party.
For example: Marta became a member of the Green Party without reading the fine print... 'nuf said.
Only Captain Kirk manages to get laid absolutely everywhere - even in a greenhouse!
Kirk: "Um... Er... Have you seen my Space Cowboy Boots?"
Marta & Kirk, working on a Caption Competition entry...
Kirk: So, does the carpet match the drapes?
Marta: Honey, there ain't no carpet!
Kitk: Really, you too?
For many Starfleet captains, a fun and exciting experience. For Kirk, a slow Tuesday.
Kirk: "Please... Be gentle."
Marta: "Since when have YOU ever honored that request?"
Kirk wonders if it's true that the grass is always greener...
Orion: ''...but this time, please don't comment every revealed part of my body with: 'It's green!'''
"Shhh, just close your eyes and pretend I'm Spock."
Sometimes it is easy being green.
Marta: What do you mean by "Soylent Green is PEOPLE"?
Kirk was sure he had requested a "little blue pill"... not this little GREEN pill.
Kirk: Well, I'm a lot more comfortable with "spooning" than "sporking".
Kirk: "Slow down... You're scaring me".
Marta: "Now you know what it's like for us ladies."
Kirk: "Yes, but if I turn any more to the right, the camera will show my assless chaps!
Marta: When they say "it isn't easy being green", it means it can be rough... like Ike and Tina Turner "Proud Mary" kinda rough...
Kirk: "Yes, but if I turn any more to the right the camera will show my assless chaps!
Marta: It's ALWAYS about the assless chaps with you!
Kirk: "Yes, but if I turn any more to the right the camera will show my assless chaps!
Marta: It's ALWAYS about the assless chaps with you!
Kirk: ''Are you good at gardening?''
Orion: ''You could say that I have a green thumb. In fact, I even have two! Shall I show you what I can do with them?''
A rare instance when Kirk realizes he's NOT the one in the room with his shirt off.
Kirk: Bones will never let me hear the end of it, if I get a green rash...
Orion girl: Pay me or I'll give you such a bite, you'll turn green too.
It may not be easy being green, but at least the green girls are easy!
It was enough to turn the female audience green with envy.
Offstage: " One of us, one of us. Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble."
Offstage, on the Enterprise: " We accept her, we accept her. One of us, one of us. Gooble-gobble, gooble-gobble."
"Hold on right there buddy... Are you a cop?"


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 24,151 Release date : 1 Aug 2016