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Battles

Introduction
Enterprise
Attack
Azati
Prime
Sphere
Bashing
Saving
Earth
Vulcan
Civil War
Romulan
Marauder
Empire
in Crisis
Romulan
Attack
The Deadly
Years
The Doomsday
Machine
The M-5
Debacle
The Wrath
of Khan
Khitomer
Crisis
The Battle
of Minos
Wolf
359
Klingon
Civil War
The
Odyssey
Death of a
Caretaker
A Flagship
Battle
The Omarion
Nebula
Deep
Space Nine
Shattered
Mirror
Kazon
Attack
The
Swarm
Borg /
8472 War
Sector
001
The
Dominion War
The Valley
of Death
The Chin'toka
Invasion

AR-558
Righteous
Insurrection
The Chin'koka
Retreat
Advance on
Cardassia
Vaadwaur
Battle
Workforce
Incident
Reman
Nemesis
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Caption Competition

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Winner

Name Caption
N'tran DS 12 According to Hitchhiker's Guide a towel is essential. In this case, the towel is critical.

Special Mention

Name Caption
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "I've just GOT to ask... WHO does your hair??"
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "We're you BORN with a head that huge, or have you been talking to Commander Riker?"
Miss Marple Kira: SERIOUSLY? THAT is the body part you are choosing to cover?
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "Hey, baby. You got girlfriend on Bajor?"
Patient: "Not just this minute."
Kira: "Well, baby, me so horny. Me so HORNY. Me love you long time. You party?"
Patient: "Yeah, I might party. How much?"
Kira: "Fifteen dollar."
Patient: "Fifteen dollar too beaucoup. Five dollars."
Kira: "Me love you too much."
Patient: "Five dollars is all my mom allows me to spend."
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "I truely appoligize for ripping your heart out. I was really under the impression that you were a Cardassian spy... my mistake.
Chromedome Listen sunshine, I don't care what your agent told you about this part, get your butt down to the costume department and get dressed.
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "Don't worry... Just leave yourself in MY hands."
Patient: "That's what you said the LAST time."
Frankie Chestnuts Patient: "Excuse me... But isn't this the MEN'S Steam Room?"
Fuzzy My parents will be here at noon. The story is that we met three months ago at a religious education expo. Play it cool, and you get to see your children again.
The Geek Kira: "Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"
Guy: (cough cough) "I'll take the bad news first."
Kira: "Okay, the doctor says you have less than a week to live, and you will be in pain for most of that time."
Guy: "By the Prophets! What's the good news?"
Kira: "They're naming the disease after you."
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "Pssst... I got your worm hole RIGHT HERE!!!"
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "One word of advice... NEVER again run into Quarks screaming that the Prophets are just aliens that live in the wormhole!!"
11001001 Kira: "Your kidney will fetch a high price on the black market."
11001001 Man: "Why are you wrinkling your nose at me?"
Kira: "My nose comes that way."
jg Man: I feel like I have been hit by a shuttlecraft. What happened?
Kira: Funny you should ask, you were hit by a shuttlecraft.
jg Man: What happed?
Kira: You took a glancing blow from a Vulcan Death Fart. Ensign Smith wasn't so lucky. He took the full force of it. His memorial service is being held tomorrow.
Bird of Prey Man: ''Instead of kidnapping me, you could simply have asked me out, you know?''
Bird of Prey Kira: ''Can you please lend me your towel?''
Man: ''Sorry, but right now I am needing it myself!''
mwhittington Kira: Don't worry. Dr. Bashir will perform your vasectomy shortly. After all of those scotches he had to pee like a race horse.

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 944 Last updated : 30 Nov -0001