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Battles

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Wolf
359
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001
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The Chin'toka
Invasion

AR-558
Righteous
Insurrection
The Chin'koka
Retreat
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Vaadwaur
Battle
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Incident
Reman
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Caption Competition

Entries

Caption comp image

Name Caption
Frankie Chestnuts Archer (to self): "Eyes front... eyes front... eyes front...eyes front..."
Archer (out loud): "EYES FRONT! I have a shy bladder."
Hailey I'm going to try to kill you, HAVE FUN
Miss Marple That's the same "I own you" look that Putin had!
Bird of Prey Not visible: Archer's even bigger tattoo on the left side of his face.
MR. WORF Zobral : So Capt. What do you think of the hair cut I gave
your dog Porhos ?
Capt. Archer : Omg !!! You shaved him down to his skin
and wrote in hair " F*#@ TRUMP "
Bird of Prey Archer (thinking): "Whatever I do, I must not mention his tattoo!"
Tattoo guy (thinking): "Why doesn't he notice my awesome tattoo?"
Merat Tattoo by Sharpie. Hairstyle by light socket.
Merat This is the exact same look Archer gives Porthos when he does a trick.
EMH_MkI Pictured: Awkward urinal moment.
Bird of Prey Archer: "Wow! Your tattoo makes your smug smily appear even more smugly!"
AJ It's quite impressive. They took CLancy Brown, one of the toughest-looking actors in Hollywood, and made him look completely effeminate.
PegasusJF archer: Will I ever be as smug as you?
Zobral: No
Bird of Prey Archer:"Why is this man looking at me like that? While he is drooling!?"
N'tran DS 12 Don't call ME tiny.
N'tran DS 12 There can be only TWO.
Jonesy Put your hand HERE! And squeeze. HARD!
This is how we say hello on my planet!
MR. WORF Zobral : Captain ! You seem to have a bald spot on top of your head .
Archer : Never mind , just forget about it.
MR. WORF Don't look at him , Look at me , just me !!!
MR. WORF Zobral : You'll eat when we say you can , You'll sleep when we say you can and You'll SHIT when we say you can !!
Archer : What the hell is that ???
Zobral : OOOPS !! My bad , wrong movie .
MR. WORF Archer : Zobral , did you just blow a fart ?!!! Sniff Sniff
Zobral : Wasn't Me ! ???
Acrher : Hmmm Uhhh well you seem to the only one standing here ; so I just put 2 & 2 together ... so.....
Bird of Prey Tattoo guy: "Do you feel intimidated by my chin tattoo?"
Archer: "Oh, that's silly! It's just ink! Haha..." *feels very uncomfortable*
Frankie Chestnuts Zobral: "I went to the same tattoo artist as Mike Tyson."
Archer: "...and who did your hair?"
Frankie Chestnuts Zobral: "I went to the same tattoo artist as Mike Tyson."
Archer: "Stop looking at my ear."
Frankie Chestnuts Zobral: "I went to the same tattoo artist as Mike Tyson."
Archer: "Was he blind?"
Frankie Chestnuts Zobral: "I went to the same tattoo artist as Mike Tyson."
Archer: "...and THAT'S saying something."
Frankie Chestnuts Zobral: "I went to the same tattoo artist as Mike Tyson."
Archer: "...and you see how far that got him."
DBB "I call it a goattoo!"
"Okay."
"It's a combination of goatee and tat-"
"Okay."
Bird of Prey Tattoo guy: "You know, in my culture, the size of your chin tattoo indicates the size of your..."
Archer: "Yeah yeah, I get it! Please don't finish that sentence!"
AJ It's a statement. If you see a man walking around with a tattoo like that, you know that's a man who isn't afraid of anything.
AJ Archer, 'Wouldn't it be easier just to grow a beard?'
AJ This is the final test, captain. If you can make it through the conversation without laughing, you will be considered a fully qualified diplomat.
Miss Marple Each thinking: That looks delicious!
PHRobertson "Seriously? I was the Kurgan, the voice of Lex Luthor and one of the leads on Earth 2, and THIS is the best you've got for me!? I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry..."
PHRobertson Must... resist... urge to laugh... must... resist... urge to... laugh... resistance... failing...
Bird of Prey Archer: "Does this tattoo have any specific symbolism in your culture?"
Tattoo guy: "No, I just lost a bet."
N'tran DS 12 Goatee? Tattoo? or a poor job with lipstick...?
Silent Bob ...and the winner for best actor goes to Captain Archer for "No your chin looks great!"
Silent Bob Great diplomatic moments of our time: "No your chin looks beautiful"
Silent Bob Archer (thinking): "no matter what, I am not going to get drunk and go find a chapel when we get to Vegas"
Silent Bob Archer (thinking): "Must learn the word for 'permanent' in his language"
Silent Bob Archer (thinking): "Must remember to hide the Sharpies on diplomatic missions..."
Bird of Prey Archer: "How do I tell him in a dignified way that there is still a part of his lunch on his chin..."
Bird of Prey Archer: "I try to be a good captain, but it's hard. Do you have any tips?"
Tattoo guy: "You are already good at being angry when someone under your command screwed up. But you also have to laud them whenever they do something right. Always breaking out in cheers can be exhausting though, so you have to do it more subtly. You have to nod in approval. Sorta like this..."
Chromedome Archer sees that Trip has been playing with the permanent marker again.
Mikey Zobral, to self: "Now I shall test the resolve of these so-called "Earthlings" by seeing how long this Archer can go without commenting on this ridiculous tattoo!"
Mikey "Joey... have you ever seen a grown man naked?"
MR. WORF Archer : Zobral are you aware that you are urinating into a Jefferies Tube ???
Zobral : OH !! Well at least my aim is good !!!
Trip in the Tube : What the &%#@ is going on ?!!! OMG! Its urine !!!!
MR. WORF Capt. Archer : Zobral , are you aware your urinating into Jeffreirs tube ?
Zobral : Oh ! Well at least my aim is good !!
Trip in Tube : What the #@*& is this crap !!!!
MR. WORF Buget cuts were showing up on Enterprise near the end of the last season !!
Bird of Prey Is the growth of your facial hair not sufficient enough for a cool looking goatee? We have the perfect solution!
MR. WORF Capt. Archer was having a hard time keeping a straight face after one of his crew had markered his tongue on his chin.
OsbornJ I'm gonna be a Rapper; See my face tattoo?
PegasusJF Zobral: I feel pretty
Oh, so pretty
I feel pretty, and witty and bright
And I pity
Anyone who isn’t me tonight
ktasay Ha! My drawn on goatee far surpasses your feeble fuzz.
DBB "You've got some stuff on your face."
*wipes* "I get it?"
"No, you still got some there."
*wipes more* "I get it?"
"Other side. There's still some..."
*wipes more* "Is it gone?"
"...yeah. You're good."
PegasusJF Matter/Antimatter, Smugness/Self-loathing. In both cases the results of mixing are equally explosive.
PegasusJF Scotty: CAPTAIN!! The smugness and self-loathing readings are OFF THE SCALE! Breaking containment! I don't think I can hold her!
Merat By this point in the season they'd pretty much just given up on making the aliens look the least bit alien, hadn't they?
Merat It doesn't matter what planet you're on or what the culture is. This is never the look you want to get at a public urinal.
Mikey "Haha! No, seriously, captain - let me show you the all-male baths."
Miss Marple WORST. GOATEE. EVER.
Miss Marple WORST. TATTOO. EVER.
Frankie Chestnuts Zobral: “Well captain, I suppose you’re wondering about the significance of my tattoo.”
Archer: “No... Actually, I was wondering how badly I was going to get beaten up in this episode.”
Frankie Chestnuts Archer: “Don’t stare at the insect on his chin... don’t stare at the insect on his chin...”
EMH_MkI "So, what do you think? I grew it myself?"
"Looks like someone took a brush to your face."
"I wasn't talking about my face."
EMH_MkI "Hey! Like my goatee? I drew it on myself."
Archer: *thinking* "Just keep smiling and don't make eye contact..."
Bird of Prey Archer: "What is the purpose of this tattoo?"
Tattooed guy: "It's for intimidating other people! Does it work?"
Archer: "...yes."
MLCoolJ Zobral: So you're the guy from "Quantum Leap", huh?
woodside The Grandmaster: Our champion is green, but he's not an Orion ... and I don't really think you're a contender.

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 1,837 Release date : 30 Nov -0001