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In space no one can hear you scream.
Male Pattern Baldness remains a scourge ... FOREVER!!!
A preview from Disney's new "Monsters, Inc." for adults.
If only he had bumped up his Feng Shui cures in time...
(Soft computer voice) Please do not be alarmed. Your medical insurance has expired. Please contact your insurer during regular officee hours to arrange renewal. In the meantime, critical life support functions will be suspended. Thank you for your attention. Have a nice day - this offer expires at midnight.
We assure you, Ensign Stallone, a few hours of treatment and you'll look just like your mother.
This is the face you make when you wake up in a bathtub full of ice... missing two kidneys ands a lung.
The "Carry On" films are being revived with ...
Carry On Trekking .... Ooooo, I say. Captain!!!
I tribbles are already scaring you, you should better avoid seeing any other alien critters...
Yup, he found the pickle in his burger ... GHERKOUT
"I just read the entire log of the Enterprise. So many scary adventures. So many dead redshirts! Why do we WANT to explore space anyway!?"
I forgot it was our anniversary!
If you have a crippling phobia of being in space... enlisting in Starfleet was probably not your best life decision.
Apparently reactions to the latest episode of Star Trek: Discovery have varied...
Guy: "Can you please switch off those four lights? I can't sleep with them thing directly into my eyes."
Cardassian torture master: "But that's... that's exactly the point..."
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test ... FAILED!
The Ferengi rule of acquisition regarding the seizure of assets has an unpleasant consequence when you bet your cojones on a deal.
We are well beyond the 5 stages of grief here.
The 2020 election season is starting.
Ensign Ricky, after hearing he was beaming down to the planet with the captain, doctor, and first officer.
Jay: Don't you guys get any sleep around here?
Zed: The twins keep us on Centurian time, standard thirty-seven hour day. Give it a few months. You'll get used to it...or you'll have a psychotic episode.
A not often considered disadvantage when you have a surgery in a Ferengi hospital: When you wake up, the first thing you'll see is a Ferengi.
The world of space travel prior to inertial dampeners... Ah memories...
Insomnia: the final frontier!
I'll talk, I'll talk! JUST STOP SHATNER SINGING PLEASE!!!!!
Prime Directive Protocol specialist Commander Richard Dynar reacted poorly to Captain Picard's report of the Kolarus III incident. Starfleet designers reacted similarly when they saw the Argo buggy from the same incident.
Captain Kirk was annoyed to find a tribble sitting in his command chair, Crewman Jones was rather more surprised to find one hiding in the toilet.
The inner-ear communicators were largely considered a success, with only their bizarre predilection for randomly playing, at full volume, Captain Kirk's "Jim Kirk Sings the Greats" playlist keeping them from entering routine use.
Even McCoy had to admit that the the photographic evidence was compelling in Nurse Chapel's presentation "Why Dr. McCoy Should No Longer Drink on Duty", but even Spock found it tedious after slide #347.
Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me!
(Gallileo, Gallileo! Gallileo, figaro...)
Wait, what are you doing? I told you I came here for liposuction, not castration! STOOOOOOP!!
McCoy: "Space is disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence..."
Patient: "Somehow I don't find that very reassuring, Doctor."
Bad luck: The inertial dampeners going offline just when your shuttle is accelerating to full impulse.
C'mon, we've all heard it on the fairground rides ... so altogether ... SCREAM IF YOU WANNA GO FASTER!
Wait... No... I've died of dysentery???
This is what is going on inside with PTSD
"DAMN IT JIM!!" The man can only take so much Chris Gaines !!!!
I see only ONE !!! Light .
For some, Star Trek Discovery is harder to take than others...
"Stop rotating the biobeeeeeeeed..."
"Do'sani! Do'sani, yo-to aruda!...I don't care what it tastes like!"
A Patients reaction to their dental bill !!!!! YIKES !!!
For lunch, Neelix served "Rodeo Red's Red-Hot Rootin' Tootin' Chili" with diced leola root over Alfarian hair pasta, with his "even better than coffee" substitute to drink. This man's digestive system is now dissolving.
McCoy: "I really should do something about that butt-ugly ceiling in my sickbay..."
Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?
Liam Neeson's publicist posts a selfie
"Damn, why do these biobeds all have so uncomfortable headrests?"
"No, please don't make me wear a toupee!"
Here we see an economist reacting in real time to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Green New Deal proposal.
Sure he's the cheapest option, but you should never get your prostate exam from Dr. Zoidberg.
The decision to have Nichelle Nichols do a naked fan dance in Star Trek V at the age of 57 was questionable. The decision to have her recreate the scene at the 2015 Star Trek reunion special at age 82 was unquestionably bad.
Kirk: "Well, Bones?"
McCoy: "What the hell do you think it is, Jim? This is the fourth time its happened - a man tries to use the head and we find him like this!"
Spock: "I question the design choices that led to such striking similarities in the design of the restroom facilities and the emergency disposal airlock."
Kirk: "Remind me to have Scotty put up a sign or something."
"For the world is hollow and I have touched the... wait, that's just a ceiling."
"More Novocaine please!"
"NOOOOOO! The DITLers keep captioning me! Make them go away! Go awaaaaaaaayyyyy!" Cough Cough Rasp
OH GOD! PLEASE! NOT ANOTHER EPISODE OF DISCOVERY! AHHHHH!
"Don't look at the lights!"
"I can't help it ... they're so beautiful!"
FZZZTTT!
The extra suddenly realised why he had been given a red shirt to wear.
Man: Spiders! They want me to tap-dance! I don't want to tap-dance!
Harry Potter: You tell those spiders, Ron.
My God, it's full of stars, AND THEY'RE COMING TO GET ME!!
Not shown: the alien about to burst out of this man's chest.
Eventually, the Cardassians found out that it's far more effective to have one big light instead of four tiny ones.
"Who...turned off...the inertial...dampeners?"
Trip may have been the first human male to become pregnant, but this guy is now the first human male to actually give birth.
Cycle initiated ... dumping core ... dump complete ... please use the three seashells before leaving ... have a nice day.
Prior to numerous rewrites, the Discovery pilot was met with less than great reactions in early screen-tests.
Betazoid weddings may sound like immense fun at first - but after having seen your mother-in-law naked, you'll definitely need some time to recuperate.
All Right ! All Right !!! I'll talk !! Just turn that film of Donald Trump off !!! PLEASE !!!!!!!!
Why won't Frankie Chestnuts and Chromedome just leave me alone? And why is MLCoolJ being so mean to me? Why am I even here on DITL? Somebody GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!
Neelix insists that this man tries his new stew.
NO! I am NOT Frankie Chestnuts! Nor is my wife!
Chromedome's reaction to the news that Wesley Crusher is getting his own spinoff!
Graham Kennedy's reaction to learning that Section 31 will soon get its own spinoff.
This is what you looked liked when the Rams got intercepted in the 4th Quarter of the Superbowl LIII.
"What happened to him, Doctor?"
"He is under shock. I reckon he must have seen something extraordinarily horrible. "
"And what could that possibly be?"
" I am not sure... But he keeps mumbling the word 'threshold' over and over again.."
NOOOOOO! PLEASE don't make me watch "A Night in Sickbay"!
THE PATRIOTS AGAIN NOOOOO!!!!
Please, don't make me watch "These are the Voyages..." again! I'll tell you everything!
Unfortunately, the game show "How Many Lights? with Car Batteries and Jumper Cables" didn't air for very long...
"No, please, not 'Spock's Brain'!"
Kevin Riley: (off-screen) And now, I shall render "Kathleen"...ONE MORE TIME! (singing) I'll take you home again, Kathleen...
Man: No.. please, no...
"...Rosebud..."
Count Rugen: As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old Except that instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I've just sucked one year of your life away. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don't know what that would do to you. What did this do to you? Tell me. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest — how do you feel?
Westley: [wimpers]
Graham Kennedy (offscreen): "Thank you for watching ditl.org's 'Worst of Trek' episode marathon! You just watched 'The Alternative Factor' and 'Catspaw'. Up next, 'Spock's Brain'! Refreshments will be served in an hour."
LUDICROUS SPEED!!!!!!!
"No! Not the comfy chair!"
Among the stars appearing in cameo roles on TNG:
Mr. Joe Cocker!
Dentist: There are many terms used to classify the idea of a dental phobia. It can be known as dental fear, dental anxiety, dentist phobia, odontophobia, or dentophobia. They all mean the same thing: an intense fear of visiting the dentist for dental care. In most cases, people who experience dentophobia do so because of prior traumatic experiences at the dentist.
Patient: Gas... Give me gas.
...and yet ANOTHER graduate of the William Shatner School of Method Acting.
Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of China White Heroin burst?
Wesley demonstrates his phaser guided suppository applicator
The way you feel at the end of the day when you go to shut down Windows and ... Update & Restart!
Kirk's transmission of "KHHAAAAAAAANNNN" terrified unwitting listeners across the galaxy for years.
When your Linux Script hangs at 5:30pm
"I think... the... inertial dampeners... need adjusting..."
Holy *@$% these heated seats in the shuttle are working way to good !!!
"There...are...four...lights..."
Agarol of the 23rd Century works with almost warp speed . Gentle & Super Fast Relief. It"ll turn that frown into a smile !!
Subjected to a non stop Discovery playback
For the Love Of God !!! Take that image of William Shatner off the bathroom ceiling.
fashionable
Rodney Dangerfield still gets no respect.
My reaction to finding out that "Star Trek: Enterprise" had been cancelled.
“The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins”:
Cruel and unusual punishment according to the Geneva Convention and other laws of man.

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 45,606 Release date : 1 Mar 2019