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Caption Competition

Entries

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Name Caption
Niall Johnson Yes, counting cards technically isn't illegal, however it's strongly discouraged!
Niall Johnson Dear Penthouse. Jackpot!
Bird of Prey Archer: ''Can you please leave the room for a minute? This nice gentleman over there is the exterminator, and he needs treat everything here with his bug spray.''
Bird of Prey Archer: ''Do you Klingons always look that angry?''
Klingon: ''No, just me right now, because I don't like you. At all.''
Silent Bob At last Kirk didn't have to chat up the "guest of the week" at gun point!
Frankie Chestnuts Archer: "OK... I'm all done. Let me get a mirror for you to see the finished product.
[quietly] Crewman, standby. I'm not sure if she't going to like this haircut, I got a bit overzealous on the back."
Bird of Prey Klingon: ''Stop staring at my forehead ridges! My boobs are down there!''
Bird of Prey Archer: ''Go and ask Ensign Sato to translate me the following sentence into Klingon: 'Your eyes are beautiful like a lake glistening in the morning sun of Risa!'''
Bird of Prey Klingon: ''I will never tell you any secrets about Klingon technology!''
Archer: ''Can you at least tell me what shampoo you are using? Your hair looks wonderful!''
AJ You'll love what we've done with your forehead. Let me get a mirror.
AdmiralM I'm not a dentist I'm just a dental moniter.
AJ Archer: "Don't worry my dear, the proctologist will be with you in a moment."
Chromedome "Do not panic. He is here to execute you because your medical insurance has run out. Sorry. Sign here please."
Chromedome "You want him to tattoo WHAT on your forehead?!"
Chromedome "Just relax and my crewman will have your earwax removed in no time at all!"
MR. WORF Archer pawnders whether he would endure this Klingon woman ....... ?
MR. WORF Klingon : Well !!!!!! What are you waiting for ? I'm ready to
see if you can anjur an evening with me !!!
Archer : Hmmm well ...... Geesh !! I think I can !!! I won't
need an armed guard.
Jey Say hello to my little friend!
Jey Archer found he couldn't stop....staring....at the.......RIDGES
AJ At least Kirk knew how to make the most of this kind of situation.
AJ At least Krik knew how to make the most of this kind of situation.
Miss Marple Mötley Crüe members... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Miss Marple Crewman, to self: I'm sure she feels bad that we are sexualizing her for ratings, but compared to not even giving me a NAME...
Miss Marple Finally Star Trek is mainstreaming a character-who-uses-a-wheelchair into the ableist future.
Cyrus Ramsay ...and baby Captain said, "Someone's still sleeping in MY bed."
Bird of Prey Klingon: ''You claim to be a peaceful species - so why does this guy over there have a huge gun?''
Archer: ''Ensign, please tell Dr. Phlox that he should consider changing the design of his new invention, this 'hypospray'. The current one only tends to lead to misunderstandings.''
Niall Johnson What, do you expect me to talk?
No, I expect you to die!
EMH_MkI Klingon dentistry.
N'tran DS 12 "You are not a prisoner.
You are food for Porthos."
T'Pau Caught on camera: the awkward moment after a one night stand in space
James I Ok Ms....Klinger, is it? Just relax. I know it looks scary but that device is totally painless. You paid for a teeth cleaning, after all. If you won't open your mouth, how can we even get started?
Miss Marple Crewman: Looks like someone is in for a severe chiding.
Miss Marple Crewman: Captain, please stop! You know how she gets when you talk smack about Frankie! Besides, it just makes you look mean-spirited.
Bird of Prey Klingon: ''You petaQ!''
Archer: ''Oh, thank you! I am really flattered...''
Klingon: '''petaQ' is an insult!''
Archer: ''Oh.''
Captain Redbeard Tell us which standard caption will get an honorable mention this month:
-the Full Shatner School of Overacting
-At least I'm not wearing a red shirt
-Wesley and/or Neelix died and there was much rejoicing
-What are you doing to the Uniformian ambassador?
-Slowly step away from the keyboard, Frankie Chestnuts
-Archer, his access denied
-Illness caused by "These are the Voyages"
Captain Redbeard Tell us which standard caption will get an honorable mention this month:
-No one expects the human inquistion
-I hate fanfiction
-Vulcan death fart
-Klingons... in spaaaaaace!
-Mayweather actually spoke a line today
-Typical reaction to Shatner's singing
-There are four... rank pips on your uniform
-Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
-Why aren't you wearing pants?
AJ You know, on earth we have these old stories about humans being abducted by aliens and having all kinds of probes stabbed into them. Guess what? It's payback time.
Frankie Chestnuts Bu'Kah: "What is the significance of the gold stripe?
Archer: "The gold indicates that I'm a member of the Command team of the ship."
Bu'Kah: "And his red stripe?"
Archer: "The red indicates that he won't be in the next scene. And probably any of the following ones."
Frankie Chestnuts Bu'Kah: "What is the significance of the gold stripe?
Archer: "The gold indicates that I'm a member of the Command team of the ship."
Bu'Kah: "And his red stripe?"
Archer: "The red stripe indicates that he's Jamaican."
Frankie Chestnuts Bu'Kah: "What is the significance of the gold stripe?
Archer: "The gold indicates that I'm a member of the Command team of the ship."
Bu'Kah: "And his red stripe?"
Archer: "The red indicates that he probably won't be mentioned in the credits of this episode."
Frankie Chestnuts Bu'Kah: "What is the significance of the gold stripe?
Archer: "The gold indicates that I'm a member of the Command team of the ship."
Bu'Kah: "And his red stripe?"
Archer: "The red indicates that he will probably be turned into a cube in the next 15 minutes."
Bird of Prey Archers: ''Are you Klingons born with foreheads like this?''
Klingon: ''No. We just have a lot of low door frames on Qo'noS.''
Tim B. I know the Discovery Klingon look ridiculous, but you'll be alright.
Bird of Prey Archer: ''I like you eyebrows! What is your care program for them?''
Miss Marple Her name means "Irma".
Cyrus Ramsay One glass of prune juice and she's anybody's.
Bird of Prey Klingon: ''Hey, what are you staring at? My eyes are up here!''
Archer: ''But they are so scary!''
Miss Marple Crewman: Captain, if I take off her restraints, she's gonna kick your ass.
MR. WORF Klingon : Are you going to put that Phaser Rifle to my head
and try to torture me for information ?
Archer : Torture ?! .... Hmmm more like an immunization
shot.
MR. WORF Klingon : WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS !!!!!!!!!!!
Archer : NO TICKET !!!
PegasusJF Interstellar Diplomacy FAIL
Mikey "I'll never talk! Never! Even if you klept me strapped down to this table, and, umm, used those clamps on me! Ooh, yeah, and then, umm, spanked me... or even if we did some pony play! And then you told me what you want for breakfast! Wait, was that out loud?"
Mikey "Why? Because you've been SOOOO naughty, and now you need to be... disciplined (remember, the safe word is 'targ.')"
Miss Marple Captain: You said you could "take us both" with one hand tied behind your back... we're gonna start you off with two hands.
Miss Marple Crewman: Captain, I believe she has told us EVERYTHING she knows.
Archer: OK, now hand me the shut-the-hell-up hypospray.
Bird of Prey Guard in the background (thinking) : ''The sexual tension is almost tangible! Kiss each other finally!''
Robbo "No wonder you Earthers are so weak. You perform your duties whilst still wearing pajamas!"
Miss Marple Bu'Kah: I understand that you think I am unclean, but don't you think an autoclave is a bit extreme?
Frankie Chestnuts Ten seconds before Archer gets the crap beat out of himself...
.
Again."
Frankie Chestnuts Archer: "Crewman, why don’t you go check on the poached eggs."
Crewman: "Pardon?"
Archer: "Head out and gather up some dirty laundry."
Crewman: "Excuse me?"
Archer: "Go away, I need to “interrogate” [finger quotes] the prisoner."
Crewman: "Sir?"
DBB Archer: I almost wore that same outfit.
Klingon: That would have been embarrassing.
Archer: Yes.
Klingon: One of us would have had to change.
DBB Klingon: you'll never get me to talk.
Archer: we'll make you watch 'These Are the Voyages. '
Klingon: I'll tell you everything.
DBB Archer: you don't look anything like the picture in your match.com profile.
AJ For the last time, tell me why you are wearing a furcoat with cleavage... IN SPACE?!
AJ There are TWO douchebags!
Frankie Chestnuts Bu'Kah: "So if I go to movie night with you, will you untie me?"
Frankie Chestnuts Crewman: "Captain... It doesn't count as an actual date if you capture your date at gunpoint and then restrain her."
Archer: "Fine... Put that gun away and let's see if that loosens her up a bit."
Frankie Chestnuts Crewman: "Captain... It doesn't count as an actual date if you capture your date at gunpoint and then restrain her."
Cyrus Ramsay Archer: "And why do we need the security guard?"
Klingon: "Start reciting that love poetry and you'll find out."
Miss Marple Archer, to self: Can Tinder Lead to a Long-Term Relationship?
Bu'Kah, to self: Can Tinder Lead to a Long-Term Relationship?
Crewman: Just so you know: Tinder is one of the causes of the nation-wide rise in STDs.
Miss Marple Archer, to self: Can Tinder Lead to a Long-Term Relationship?
Bu'Kah, to self: Can Tinder Lead to a Long-Term Relationship?
Crewman, to self: Can Tinder Lead to Long-Term Relationships?
Frankie Chestnuts Archer: "OK Bu'kaH... Please stop staring at the crewman. I have a gun also. And it almost as big. BIGGER. My gun's MUCH bigger."
Frankie Chestnuts Archer: "Crewman... Please put that weapon away... It's just a tad intimidating,.. To me... Just a little... A little intimidating... To me... Just a little."
Frankie Chestnuts "It's no use trying to disguise yourself as Archer ... I know you are really Chromedome"
Chromedome "It's no use trying to disguise yourself as a Klingon ... I know you are really Frankie Chestnuts!"
Miss Marple Klingon: I can't stop staring at the guns on that guy.
Archer: It takes practice.
Bird of Prey Archer: ''You know you are kind hot...''
Klingon: ''Thanks!''
Archer: ''...for a Klingon.''
Klingon: ''WHAT!?''
RogueSkyknight Klingon: 'Probe' me all you want, Captain. You'll never get my secrets!
Archer: ...That's not something we actually do.
Klingon: Oh...Are you sure you don't want to at least try?

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 1,319 Release date : 30 Nov -0001