Caption Competition - Entries Caption #434

Entries

Name	Caption
Niall Johnson	Yes, counting cards technically isn't illegal, however it's strongly discouraged!
Niall Johnson	Dear Penthouse. Jackpot!
Bird of Prey	Archer: ''Can you please leave the room for a minute? This nice gentleman over there is the exterminator, and he needs treat everything here with his bug spray.''
Bird of Prey	Archer: ''Do you Klingons always look that angry?'' Klingon: ''No, just me right now, because I don't like you. At all.''
Silent Bob	At last Kirk didn't have to chat up the "guest of the week" at gun point!
Frankie Chestnuts	Archer: "OK... I'm all done. Let me get a mirror for you to see the finished product. [quietly] Crewman, standby. I'm not sure if she't going to like this haircut, I got a bit overzealous on the back."
Bird of Prey	Klingon: ''Stop staring at my forehead ridges! My boobs are down there!''
Bird of Prey	Archer: ''Go and ask Ensign Sato to translate me the following sentence into Klingon: 'Your eyes are beautiful like a lake glistening in the morning sun of Risa!'''
Bird of Prey	Klingon: ''I will never tell you any secrets about Klingon technology!'' Archer: ''Can you at least tell me what shampoo you are using? Your hair looks wonderful!''
AJ	You'll love what we've done with your forehead. Let me get a mirror.
AdmiralM	I'm not a dentist I'm just a dental moniter.
AJ	Archer: "Don't worry my dear, the proctologist will be with you in a moment."
Chromedome	"Do not panic. He is here to execute you because your medical insurance has run out. Sorry. Sign here please."
Chromedome	"You want him to tattoo WHAT on your forehead?!"
Chromedome	"Just relax and my crewman will have your earwax removed in no time at all!"
MR. WORF	Archer pawnders whether he would endure this Klingon woman ....... ?
MR. WORF	Klingon : Well !!!!!! What are you waiting for ? I'm ready to see if you can anjur an evening with me !!! Archer : Hmmm well ...... Geesh !! I think I can !!! I won't need an armed guard.
Jey	Say hello to my little friend!
Jey	Archer found he couldn't stop....staring....at the.......RIDGES
AJ	At least Kirk knew how to make the most of this kind of situation.
AJ	At least Krik knew how to make the most of this kind of situation.
Miss Marple	Mötley Crüe members... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Miss Marple	Crewman, to self: I'm sure she feels bad that we are sexualizing her for ratings, but compared to not even giving me a NAME...
Miss Marple	Finally Star Trek is mainstreaming a character-who-uses-a-wheelchair into the ableist future.
Cyrus Ramsay	...and baby Captain said, "Someone's still sleeping in MY bed."
Bird of Prey	Klingon: ''You claim to be a peaceful species - so why does this guy over there have a huge gun?'' Archer: ''Ensign, please tell Dr. Phlox that he should consider changing the design of his new invention, this 'hypospray'. The current one only tends to lead to misunderstandings.''
Niall Johnson	What, do you expect me to talk? No, I expect you to die!
EMH_MkI	Klingon dentistry.
N'tran DS 12	"You are not a prisoner. You are food for Porthos."
T'Pau	Caught on camera: the awkward moment after a one night stand in space
James I	Ok Ms....Klinger, is it? Just relax. I know it looks scary but that device is totally painless. You paid for a teeth cleaning, after all. If you won't open your mouth, how can we even get started?
Miss Marple	Crewman: Looks like someone is in for a severe chiding.
Miss Marple	Crewman: Captain, please stop! You know how she gets when you talk smack about Frankie! Besides, it just makes you look mean-spirited.
Bird of Prey	Klingon: ''You petaQ!'' Archer: ''Oh, thank you! I am really flattered...'' Klingon: '''petaQ' is an insult!'' Archer: ''Oh.''
Captain Redbeard	Tell us which standard caption will get an honorable mention this month: -the Full Shatner School of Overacting -At least I'm not wearing a red shirt -Wesley and/or Neelix died and there was much rejoicing -What are you doing to the Uniformian ambassador? -Slowly step away from the keyboard, Frankie Chestnuts -Archer, his access denied -Illness caused by "These are the Voyages"
Captain Redbeard	Tell us which standard caption will get an honorable mention this month: -No one expects the human inquistion -I hate fanfiction -Vulcan death fart -Klingons... in spaaaaaace! -Mayweather actually spoke a line today -Typical reaction to Shatner's singing -There are four... rank pips on your uniform -Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Why aren't you wearing pants?
AJ	You know, on earth we have these old stories about humans being abducted by aliens and having all kinds of probes stabbed into them. Guess what? It's payback time.
Frankie Chestnuts	Bu'Kah: "What is the significance of the gold stripe? Archer: "The gold indicates that I'm a member of the Command team of the ship." Bu'Kah: "And his red stripe?" Archer: "The red indicates that he won't be in the next scene. And probably any of the following ones."
Frankie Chestnuts	Bu'Kah: "What is the significance of the gold stripe? Archer: "The gold indicates that I'm a member of the Command team of the ship." Bu'Kah: "And his red stripe?" Archer: "The red stripe indicates that he's Jamaican."
Frankie Chestnuts	Bu'Kah: "What is the significance of the gold stripe? Archer: "The gold indicates that I'm a member of the Command team of the ship." Bu'Kah: "And his red stripe?" Archer: "The red indicates that he probably won't be mentioned in the credits of this episode."
Frankie Chestnuts	Bu'Kah: "What is the significance of the gold stripe? Archer: "The gold indicates that I'm a member of the Command team of the ship." Bu'Kah: "And his red stripe?" Archer: "The red indicates that he will probably be turned into a cube in the next 15 minutes."
Bird of Prey	Archers: ''Are you Klingons born with foreheads like this?'' Klingon: ''No. We just have a lot of low door frames on Qo'noS.''
Tim B.	I know the Discovery Klingon look ridiculous, but you'll be alright.
Bird of Prey	Archer: ''I like you eyebrows! What is your care program for them?''
Miss Marple	Her name means "Irma".
Cyrus Ramsay	One glass of prune juice and she's anybody's.
Bird of Prey	Klingon: ''Hey, what are you staring at? My eyes are up here!'' Archer: ''But they are so scary!''
Miss Marple	Crewman: Captain, if I take off her restraints, she's gonna kick your ass.
MR. WORF	Klingon : Are you going to put that Phaser Rifle to my head and try to torture me for information ? Archer : Torture ?! .... Hmmm more like an immunization shot.
MR. WORF	Klingon : WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS !!!!!!!!!!! Archer : NO TICKET !!!
PegasusJF	Interstellar Diplomacy FAIL
Mikey	"I'll never talk! Never! Even if you klept me strapped down to this table, and, umm, used those clamps on me! Ooh, yeah, and then, umm, spanked me... or even if we did some pony play! And then you told me what you want for breakfast! Wait, was that out loud?"
Mikey	"Why? Because you've been SOOOO naughty, and now you need to be... disciplined (remember, the safe word is 'targ.')"
Miss Marple	Captain: You said you could "take us both" with one hand tied behind your back... we're gonna start you off with two hands.
Miss Marple	Crewman: Captain, I believe she has told us EVERYTHING she knows. Archer: OK, now hand me the shut-the-hell-up hypospray.
Bird of Prey	Guard in the background (thinking) : ''The sexual tension is almost tangible! Kiss each other finally!''
Robbo	"No wonder you Earthers are so weak. You perform your duties whilst still wearing pajamas!"
Miss Marple	Bu'Kah: I understand that you think I am unclean, but don't you think an autoclave is a bit extreme?
Frankie Chestnuts	Ten seconds before Archer gets the crap beat out of himself... . Again."
Frankie Chestnuts	Archer: "Crewman, why don’t you go check on the poached eggs." Crewman: "Pardon?" Archer: "Head out and gather up some dirty laundry." Crewman: "Excuse me?" Archer: "Go away, I need to “interrogate” [finger quotes] the prisoner." Crewman: "Sir?"
DBB	Archer: I almost wore that same outfit. Klingon: That would have been embarrassing. Archer: Yes. Klingon: One of us would have had to change.
DBB	Klingon: you'll never get me to talk. Archer: we'll make you watch 'These Are the Voyages. ' Klingon: I'll tell you everything.
DBB	Archer: you don't look anything like the picture in your match.com profile.
AJ	For the last time, tell me why you are wearing a furcoat with cleavage... IN SPACE?!
AJ	There are TWO douchebags!
Frankie Chestnuts	Bu'Kah: "So if I go to movie night with you, will you untie me?"
Frankie Chestnuts	Crewman: "Captain... It doesn't count as an actual date if you capture your date at gunpoint and then restrain her." Archer: "Fine... Put that gun away and let's see if that loosens her up a bit."
Frankie Chestnuts	Crewman: "Captain... It doesn't count as an actual date if you capture your date at gunpoint and then restrain her."
Cyrus Ramsay	Archer: "And why do we need the security guard?" Klingon: "Start reciting that love poetry and you'll find out."
Miss Marple	Archer, to self: Can Tinder Lead to a Long-Term Relationship? Bu'Kah, to self: Can Tinder Lead to a Long-Term Relationship? Crewman: Just so you know: Tinder is one of the causes of the nation-wide rise in STDs.
Miss Marple	Archer, to self: Can Tinder Lead to a Long-Term Relationship? Bu'Kah, to self: Can Tinder Lead to a Long-Term Relationship? Crewman, to self: Can Tinder Lead to Long-Term Relationships?
Frankie Chestnuts	Archer: "OK Bu'kaH... Please stop staring at the crewman. I have a gun also. And it almost as big. BIGGER. My gun's MUCH bigger."
Frankie Chestnuts	Archer: "Crewman... Please put that weapon away... It's just a tad intimidating,.. To me... Just a little... A little intimidating... To me... Just a little."
Frankie Chestnuts	"It's no use trying to disguise yourself as Archer ... I know you are really Chromedome"
Chromedome	"It's no use trying to disguise yourself as a Klingon ... I know you are really Frankie Chestnuts!"
Miss Marple	Klingon: I can't stop staring at the guns on that guy. Archer: It takes practice.
Bird of Prey	Archer: ''You know you are kind hot...'' Klingon: ''Thanks!'' Archer: ''...for a Klingon.'' Klingon: ''WHAT!?''
RogueSkyknight	Klingon: 'Probe' me all you want, Captain. You'll never get my secrets! Archer: ...That's not something we actually do. Klingon: Oh...Are you sure you don't want to at least try?

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Release date : 30 Nov -0001