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|Frankie Chestnuts||EMH: "Oh, Rochester! Rochester!!"
Off Stage: "Yes suh, Mr. Benny?"
|Frankie Chestnuts||Seven of Nine: "We now consecrate the bond of obedience...
Assume the position."
The Doctor: "Woo-Hoo!! This is always my favorite part of your socialization training."
|MLCoolJ||Doctor: So, how many redshirts does it take to change a light bulb? Two--one to change the bulb and listen while the other one is killed in the darkness!
|PegasusJF||Sleight of hand subroutine fail|
|EMH_MkI||It's not like sometimes when I'm all alone in sickbay I pretend I have a girlfriend. Not at all!|
|Frankie Chestnuts||EMH: "Who's the best post-assimilated cybernetic humanoid??? Who is the best? YOU ARE!!! YES, you are!!"|
|Frankie Chestnuts||EMH: "Uh Oh... IBS!"
Paris: "You be WHAT??"
|jg||And then I told Ensign Kim, " I warned you this would happen. You kept pranking Torres and now I have to remove her boot from your a..."
Harry: HAHA. Funny story, can we move on now.
|Admiral Dunsel||After he told this joke, the Doctor's "Johnny Carson Monologue" subroutine was permanently deleted from his program.|
|Frankie Chestnuts||EMH: "There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out...
I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport...
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading...
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried..."
|PHRobertson||"Why. Is it. So. COLD in here!?!"|
|EMH_MkI||To say that I'm "full of myself" makes absolutely no sense. I can choose to occupy or not occupy this very space. That's what's great about being me! As a hologram I have the freedom to choose to be full of something or nothing at all!|
|OptimusKR||Yo Gabba Gabba style: Hold your arms out wide, wrap them around, squeeze tight, hugs are fun, hugs are fun.|
|Miss Marple||EMH: Watch. It's called "Gangnam Style" and you are going to LOVE it!|
|PegasusJF||The EMH always got a giggle from Dr. Bashir's medical logs where the cause was listed as "Don't ask".|
|Borgman||Doctor: "Did you know that you can update to EMH 10 for free...limited time only"
Doctor: "Computer...how did that message get into my system?"
Computer: "The message in question was automatically downloaded to the EMH system during the last data stream from Earth. Origin...Redmond, Washington State, Former United States Territory."
|Frankie Chestnuts||EMH: "SERIOUSLY??? So you are saying that when you are bleeding like that it's more than just an inconvenience? You actually have PAIN??? Well THAT explains a lot. This is REALLY going to help my bedside manner."|
|Phloxtwiceaday||The doctor's program kept buffering mid-sentence...annoying to say the least!
|Chromedome||Of course I know my arse from my elbow. I can find my arse with both hands too! Like this, see?|
|Chromedome||The EMH is pleased to receive the "Galactic Smugness Of The Year Award"|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Here we see the Doctor, alone in Sickbay, trying out his new "Pompous A-Hole" subroutine. Unfortunately for the rest of the crew, he LOVED it!|
|Frankie Chestnuts||"Cuz I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you.
And can''t nobody stop the juice so baby tell me what's the use.
It's gettin hot in here (so hot),
So take off all your clothes.
I am gettin so hot, I wanna take my clothes off."
|Miss Marple||Crewman: Can you sing “Away in a Manger”?
Crewman: Can you sing “So far away from me” and “Don’t stand so close to me”?
He enjoys requests, until he realizes that they are just jerking him around, and suggests THEY try "F*** You" by Ce Lo Green”.
|Miss Marple||Watch this! It's how William Shatner takes off his shirt ...and it works EVERY time. I call it the "Full Shatner Experience"|
|Copyright Graham Kennedy||Page views : 7,918||Last updated : 1 Jan 2016|