Caption Competition

Winner

Name	Caption
nerd86	T'Pol is looking the Captain in his eyes and Malcolm is looking at his crotch. Yep, this away mission should get interesting...

Special Mention

Name	Caption
Frankie Chestnuts	T'Pol: "We must go back in there Lieutenant." Reed: "Please... Just give me a few minutes... What was that called again?" T'Pol: "The Final Frontier"
Frankie Chestnuts	Reed: "Yes, Captain... We promise to stop teasing you about getting beaten up all the time. Now please give us our clothes back."
Mr. President	For Lieutenant Reed, the long sought after cure for stress incontinence couldn't come quickly enough.
Mr. President	T'Pol: "We have five minutes to live, Lieutenant. Any last requests?" Reed: "Well, just one, but I feel embarrassed asking it." T'Pol: "It it helps any, your embarrassment will only last a further four minutes and forty-five seconds." Reed: "All right...well, ever since I first saw you, I've had this little fantasy about you and me, and I was wondering, since we're going to be dead in four minutes and...uh..." T'Pol: "Twenty-five seconds." Reed: "...twenty-five seconds - well, I was wondering if we could spend that time having sex." T'Pol: "Hm...well, in the absence of anything more productive...all right, Lieutenant." Reed: "Really?" T'Pol: "Why not?" Reed: "Outstanding!" T'Pol: "So, if you wouldn't mind pulling your pants down and bending over, we can begin." Reed: "..."
ZebulaNebula	T'Pol: I feel something ... a slight tingling in my fingers ... it's affecting me. Reed: What'd I say ... she can't hold her liquor. *Passes out*
ZebulaNebula	T'pol: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead. Reed: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. T'Pol: You've made your decision then? Reed: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. T'Pol: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. Reed: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I? T'Pol: Australia. Reed: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. T'Pol: You're just stalling now. Reed: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. T'Pol: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work. Reed: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS! T'Pol: Then make your choice. Reed: I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be? T'Pol: [Reed gestures up and away from the table. T'Pol looks. Reed swaps the goblets] T'Pol: What? Where? I don't see anything. Reed: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours. T'Pol, Reed: [T'Pol and Reed drink ] T'Pol: You guessed wrong. Reed: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha... Reed: [Reed stops suddenly,his smile frozen on his face and falls to the right out of camera dead] Hoshi: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned. T'Pol: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
Frankie Chestnuts	Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. You get to pick which one's "Dum".
ThomasJBryant	Could be worse, T'Pol, we could get cancelled.
ThomasJBryant	Reed: "I'm watching him type down there in the box... Oh no, he's going to do it... here it comes..." T'Pol: "Look at me... look at me, up here. Look away from the text field. Stop typing--" Reed: "No, he's still going, still typing. There's a punchline coming, I just know it." T'Pol: "I doubt it..."
Tasha	I..uh..don't know what to say. It looks..uh..different. T'pol: You are illogical.
mwhittington	T'Pol: Lieutenant, I don't mean to embarrass you, but your pajamas are on backwards. Reed: How do you know? T'Pol: Because your rear flap is open.
Bird of Prey	Malcolm: "...and that were all of the 42 reasons why I have such a complicated relationship to my father. What do you say to that?" T'Pol: "Were you talking to me? Sorry, but I didn't pay any attention at all."
TS	Reed: "If you look closely, you can see our careers going down the drain..." T'Pol: "You are correct. Fascinating..."
TS	(Trip off screen): "Hi Malcolm...nice to see you, T'Pol." Reed: "Trip, is that a phase pistol in your pants or are you just..." Trip: "Uh...Malcolm, ex-nay on the tent-ay." T'Pol: "Humans..."
TS	Reed: "Wait, why are we green?!" T'Pol: "I told you that building in 'These Are the Voyages' was radioactive..."
Frankie Chestnuts	Hoshi (off screen): "What is it? What is it?" Reed: "Is that what I think it is?" T'Pol nods her head: "Yes." Reed: "It's beautiful." T'Pol nods her head: "Yes." Hoshi: "Goddammit, what is it?" Reed: "It's... it's... green."
Skipbear	Reed, "So that's the Valcan Death Fart," T'pol "Call me stinky again, I dare ya!
JTB:	Reed: "I'm concerned with the swelling..." T'pol: "I'm not...."
TS	Reed: "Look, Subcommander, down there. Could it be?" T'Pol: "Yes, Lieutenant. Another two week caption competition."
Frankie Chestnuts	Reed: "I'm not sure about you Sub-Commander, but I'm feeling a bit ill." T'Pol: "I know what you mean... Doctor, will you please put your clothes back on."
Mr. President	T'Pol: "We are...we are green."
Frankie Chestnuts	Reed: "If we spend another 5 minutes in this freezer, we're both going to die. I think the only way we can survive is if we have sex to keep ourselves warm. What do you think?" T'Pol: "I think we are both going to die."
TS	Archer: "Why the long face, T'Pol?" T'Pol: "With all due respect, Captain, while you and Trip were having fun at the club, I had to look after Mr. Reed."
Frankie Chestnuts	T'Pol: "There. You see them, don't you?" Reed: "That's me! Only I'm head boy... And I'm holding the Quidditch Cup... And bloody hell! I'm Quidditch captain too!"

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