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Caption Competition

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Name Caption
Captain 8472 “Data, one does not use an oral thermometer in a rectum.”
Captain 8472 “Data, one does not use a turkey blaster that way.”
Captain 8472 In Soviet Federation, androids medicate you.
Horta not Vorta Android Death Fart in 5..4...3..2..1
N'tran DS 12 Buns of Steel.
Chromedome "Yes, Doctor, I do have a lovely bunch of coconuts."
Bird of Prey Beverly: "That's not how the robot dance is done, Data!"
Data: "This is not the robot dance, it is the android dance, Doctor."
Miss Marple Crusher: I want to be Frankie Chestnut’s better half!
Data: Get in line, Doctor.
Frankie Chestnuts Data: “Hmmm... Let’s see who we have this month... Chromedome... The Geek... Miss Marple... Bird of Prey... 8472... Oooh look, ♪Frankie Chestnuts♫... I LOVE that guy!"
Miss Marple Data: “Yes Doctor, part of my being fully functional does involve Twerking.”
[The Dancing Doctor starts humming Blurred Lines…]
Jonesy "Data, I didn't know androids had prostates."
"Dr. Soong was VERY thorough, Doctor."
Chromedome "Surely they can't give us THAT caption?"
Miss Marple Dr Crusher: … and I’m talking to the Captain, and just when I feel I’m finally getting my point through to him, he rolls his eyes and mutters “ My God, you are a redhead.”
Data: It is better than the time that he called you a Ginger.
Crusher: But I knew what he meant!
Miss Marple Dr Crusher: … and everything is so meaningless. Every time I reach out for help it’s either “physician, heal thyself” or people completely ignore me…
Data: Pardon me, Doctor, were you talking to me?
Frankie Chestnuts Data: "Doctor... Check out the winning caption from Frankie Chestnuts."
Frankie Chestnuts Beverly and Data always killed it on Enterprise Talent Night with their "Reverse Ventriloquist Bit".
Bird of Prey Data: "Doctor, is your current body temperature significantly raised above standard parameters?"
Beverly:"Do I have fever? No, I don't think so."
Data: "Then I don't understand why Wesley's classmates told him that his 'mom is hot'..."
Chromedome Is it just me or does something look wrong with this picture?
The Geek Data: "I've been delivered here against my wishes. I would like to know the reason."
Crusher : "Certainly. You have been brought here for my enjoyment and my appreciation."
Bird of Prey Beverly: "Is this your off switch, Data?"
Data: "No. Nevertheless, the effect is... interesting. I'll have to tell Lt. Yar about it."
The Geek Data : "I read those Nubian masseuses have twelve fingers. On each hand."
Crusher : "Then I'd say Starfleet needs to make its presence felt on Risa."
Chromedome "There once was a ship that put to sea
The name of the ship was the Billy of Tea
The winds blew up, her bow dipped down
Oh blow, my bully boys, blow (huh)
Soon may the Wellerman come
To bring us sugar and tea and rum
One day, when the tonguing is done
We'll take our leave and go ..."
"Are you feeling alright, Doctor?"
Chromedome "He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy!"
Chromedome "Wesley, I'm confiscating this toy of yours!"
Chromedome "My God! It's full of stars!"
"Doctor, it's a window."
Bird of Prey Beverly: "Tell me, Data... do androids dream of electric sheep?"
Data: "The imagery generated by my dream program never included any electrified ovines so far."
Captain 8472 “You are an android! You have no organic parts! Completely synthetic! How did you get Covid?!”
MR. WORF Doctor : Data ! You don't put colours in with whites when doing your wash. The colour may run and land on your whites.
Bird of Prey Data: "Doctor, please clarify - was this cry of anguish part of the dance routine?"
Beverly: "No, you stepped on my foot!"
Captain 8472 “Doctor, how does one remove a stick from their rectum?”
Captain 8472 “Doctor, how does one remove a stick from their rector?”
The Geek Crusher: "Impossible! DITL was perfect before the updates!"
Data: "Indeed, Doctor. Ian Kennedy improved upon perfection."
Chromedome "I'm a doctor, not an engineer!"
Captain 8472 “Data, why did you try to emulate the life of Charlie Sheen?”
Mr. Worf Doctor : Data !!! Hurry up and punch out for the day !!
Data : Sorry Doctor but I'm trying to get 15mins of overtime.
Mr. Worf Doctor : Damn it Data ; he's dead !
Captain 8472 “Data, why do you come to me for medical help? You are an android, get Geordi’s help!”
Chromedome "What's going on? I have an exemption! Why are you cancelling my visa?"
MR. WORF Dr. : Data, meet me in my quarters in 15mins., while gently massaging Data's Butt .
Data : What's the meaning of this ?
Dr. : I want to know if you really are fully functional in multiple technics . ( I Hope !!!! )
Commodore Bob Wesley The two reactions to news of yet another COVID wave
The Geek Crusher: "Killing's the worst thing I've ever had to do!"
Data: "In the approximately 50 years since I became operational, I have determined that killing is the 19th worst thing I ever had to do."
Crusher: "So when I say I will nev... I'm sorry, Data, but could you run that by me again?"
Chromedome "Thank you, Data, for agreeing to be the test subject for Wesley's new automated suppository inserter ..."
Chromedome A failed Star Trek horror spinoff - Dr Crusher & Mr Data
Frankie Chestnuts Crusher: "My God, Data... This looks like some serious damage."
Data: "'Tis but a scratch."
Crusher: "A scratch? Your arm's off!"
Data: "I am afraid you are mistaken, Doctor."
Crusher: "What's that then?"
Data: "I have had worse."
Captain 8472 “How did the stick that was stuck in Warf’s hind end get stuck in your’s, Data?”
Captain 8472 Data’s latest experience with human behavior ended with a classic parental scolding.
Captain 8472 Dr. Crusher: Data, how did that get stuck there?
Data: It was a poor attempt at a practical joke that back fired.
Chromedome (offscreen) "Frankie Chestnuts? No way, lady, I'm Duane Dibley!"
Frankie Chestnuts Yea Crusher: "When Tasha said you were 'fully functional' I had no idea. But why are your ‘manly bits’ on your backside?”
Data: “Tasha had some specific requests, Doctor… some might say shameful requests…”
Captain 8472 “Data, why did Yarr want lubricant from you?”
Captain 8472 “Data! That is not how a bris is performed!”
Chromedome "I didn't realise Frankie Chestnuts was that tall."
Chromedome "Doctor, is that MY prothetic in your pocket or are you ..."
MR. WORF Data : Ahh Doctor , I believe my off switch is well south of that location.
Chromedome "Please would you lube me up, Doctor? I've got a hot date with Kryten the mechanoid."
Chromedome There's an old saying in showbiz - Don't work with animals and androids.
Chromedome Crusher: "Don't just stand there! Help me get Wesley out!"
Chromedome "Its's not the real one, it's just a blow up!"
MR. WORF Data : Doctor , why are you putting the medical tricorder near my rear ?????
Doctor : Shhhh.....t Data ! I can't here the sound.
Chromedome Fast forward to Independence Day and Brent Spiner will be wearing a white version of Gates McFadden's hair.
=NoPoet= Ah, 90s drama, where declarations were followed by a dramatic pause.
=NoPoet= "Data, that's not how reach-arounds work."
=NoPoet= Crusher: "I must attend to the matter in hand."
Data: "Doctor Crusher, the matter in hand appears to be my ass."
Seven OfNine Click my heels together three times and I'm back on TNG - can it be that simple, Brent?
Captain 8472 “Data, that is not how you should play with a cat.”
Captain 8472 “Data, why are you, an android, running on iOS?”
Captain 8472 “Data, what were you trying to accomplish with that torque wrench?”
Frankie Chestnuts Crusher: "When Tasha said you were 'fully functional' I had no idea."
Data: "Yes, Doctor... Now if you give me some privacy, I would like to continue urinating."
Chromedome Reaction shot of the news that Wesley is coming back to the ship.
Chromedome "OMG! Look at what they served Riley for Christmas lunch!"
Chromedome Picture #37 in the DITL "People Looking Over Other People's Shoulders" Collection
Chromedome Crusher: "Look what I got in the secret Santa! He's fully articulated and if I pull the string on the back he talks too!"
Chromedome "Jean Luc! It's not what it looks like!"
Chromedome "Data, do I use Vaseline or WD40?"
Captain 8472 Data: Doctor, does Wesley like gladiator movies?
Dr. Crusher: He likes gladiator holo-programs.
Captain 8472 Dr. Crusher: Data, why do parts of you vibrate?
Data: It was Yarr’s suggestion.
Captain 8472 “Data, where did you say your ‘power’ switch was?”
Captain 8472 Dr. Crusher: How do you operate this thing?
Data: Yarr asked the same question.
Captain 8472 “Data, what did Yarr do to you?”
Captain 8472 “Data, if you want parenting advice, Warf would be a better choice than me.”
Captain 8472 “Data, if you want parenting advice, Ward would be a better choice than me.”
Captain 8472 “So Dr. Soong gave you interchange gender components? I don’t know if I should congratulate you or question his intentions with you.”
Captain 8472 “Are you sure you need a prostate exam?”
Captain 8472 “How was I supposed to know my son had a girl in his room? Wesley has always been more comfortable talking to computers!”
Captain 8472 “That was when I told Jean Luc he was bad at kissing. Data, do you think I should have done things differently?”
Captain 8472 “Doctor, that is not my auxiliary data port.”
Captain 8472 Dr. Crusher could not figure out Data’s ‘backup’ user interface.
Frankie Chestnuts Crusher: “I swear there is an on-off switch down here somewhere…”
Data: “Yes, Doctor. If you find it, you would be able to turn me off… and on.” [wink, wink]
Crusher: “Shut up, Data.”
Frankie Chestnuts Crusher: “I swear there is an on-off switch down here somewhere…”
Data: “Yes, Doctor. A little lower… A little more. EEK! [with squeaky voice] A bit higher than that.”
Frankie Chestnuts Crusher: “I swear there is an on-off switch down here somewhere…”
Data: “You may want to check with Lieutenant Yar… She has considerable experience back there.”
Frankie Chestnuts Crusher: “I swear there is an on-off switch down here somewhere…”
Data: “If you continue probing around Doctor, we may need to get a room.”
Frankie Chestnuts Crusher: “I swear there is an on-off switch down here somewhere…”
Data (high squeaky voice): “I feel it is likely to be a bit higher than that, Doctor.”
Miss Marple Beverly Crusher was not a good ventriloquist.
Cyrus Ramsay Gates: "I can't believe that they cut out most of my scenes from 'The Hunt for Red October'".
Brent: "Ah, don't worry about it. Nobody saw that film anyway."

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© Graham & Ian Kennedy Page views : 839 Release date : 30 Nov -0001