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| Name | Caption |
| Helmsman #3 | It's Beagles!!!! Soylent Orange is made of Beagles!!!! |
| Name | Caption |
| Will Deker | Phlox:"Very interesting, Captain, he is obeying my every command, see? Drown! Inhale that water! Don't Swim!" Archer:"You are relieved of duty and confined to quarters!" |
| JilliBean | Archer: You're kidding me, right? Phlox: Not at all, Captain. Bobbing for Puppies is a very popular game among our youth. |
| AJ | "I'm sorry, captain, but it was the only decision. Porthos accidentally saw 'These are the voyages'. I just could not let a dog suffer like that." |
| Pinky & the Brain | It's Portos Doctor He appears to be in a bit of a pickle |
| ZebulaNebula | In another direct violation of established continuity, Porthos is slowly suffocated by a Founder. |
| Kevin P. | It all started innocently enough. I baked Trip's laser spanner into a cake, he buried my communicator in a trifle, I filled all his uniforms with pudding and now... well, now it's just got ugly. |
| Mikey | Mephisto: "...and I will soon bring you... a beagle with five asses!" |
| drow | Porthos: "At least I get more lines than Mayweather." |
| Rat Boy | Archer: "No, Chef said he was serving bagels for breakfast this morning, not beagles!" |
| ByAnyOtherName | In this episode, we learn that "Plomeek" is Vulcan for "dog." |
| Bryan Moore | "Doctor, are you sure this is necessary?" "I'm sorry Captain, we need to give Porthos a proper death scene. After all, what main character wouldn't deserve one?" |
| Denis Le Menoir | Archer: Is that a needle you're holding? Phlox: No, it's a straw, why? |
| Xavier | Phlox : You can't just flush a pet down the toilet you know.we have a closed system. |
| SlideMan | Phlox: Soup. anyone? |
| Bryan Moore | "A bald eagle? Oh my, I thought you said a stalled Beagle." |
| Mikey | Phlox: "so... the Earth term 'hot dog' is actually just a figure of speech, then?" |
| Coen | Doctor: Nurse, salt please... |
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