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B'Elanna: You said I'm "cranky" on my performance review? I. Am. Not! CRANKY!
I'm working on controlling my temper using slow, deep breaths, and by reciting affirmations to myself, but repeating
"I embrace my inner, raging bitch" doesn't seem to help...
Yes, that IS the best I can do, why do you ask?
Chakotay: ON SECOND THOUGHT, I've got a "vision quest app" you can use.
No, it's called "forehead ridges", not "forehead cleavage".
B'Elanna: It is written in Engligh. It SAYS:
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
-It's a famous quote. READ it!
Chakotay: Well Qapla’ with THAT!
Be'lanna is not one to take kindly being denied the last words of the month.
B'Elanna: ''...and another thing. Can't we get new uniforms? This collar is way too tight!''
If it weren’t for the fact that Amazon let you download book purchases, the entire crew might have gone feral.
EMH: "Please state the nature of the medical emergency... Hmmm. Right... I'll get the Midol"
B'Elanna: ''Oh yeah? You are stupid! And your stupid tattoo is... also stupid! Ha, that hurts to hear, huh?''
Chakotay: ''I see your mother never taught you the Klingon art of proper cussing.''
Chakotay: I have news, pictures for funny captions will only be updated once a month.
B'Elanna: WHAT!!!
"You want me to run and manage the entire engineering department, and the best equipment you can give me to do that with is a 2 year old Ipod3 !!!
What are we? Star Fleet, or Home Depot?"
B'lanna: Your mother was a spear chucker!
Chakotay: Actually, my mother was a berry picker. My father was a spear chucker.
B'lanna: .....I hate you.
Torres wanted to take the drug test reports from Chakotay's hand, but she was mesmerized by the dancing tattoos swirling around Chakotay's face.
B'Elanna: ''I have just spent hours in engineering, disassembling half of the equipment, in order to find out where that terrible grinding noise was coming from. Turns out it was my own teeth gnashing!''
B'lanna: Your mother was a spear chucker!
Chakotay: And your mother was a Klingon!

look! Your ancestors have horrible taste in music ! So do not come over to tell me that Klingon's traditional music sound like a kitten thrown into a blender
B'Elanna: ''Don't laugh at my forehead ridges!''
Chakotay: ''God no, I would never do that! I am laughing at your silly hairstyle instead.''
For the last time Chakotay, I am NOT interested in a 'complete collection' of the tales of your generic native american ancestors.
B'Elanna: "Get that crap out of my face, or I'll give you a tattoo that will never see the light of day."
DO I have something in my teeth, I had a live Targ earlier
Clenching your teeth makes your forehead wrinkle.
B'Elanna !!!! What's this ?? You looked into my background and found out I'm your brother . Biatch !!!
Gagh intolerance...IN SPAAAACE!
Where will *you* be when your gagh needs to 'pull out of spacedock'?
Chakotay: ''Did anyone ever tell you that you are beautiful when you are angry?''
B'Elanna: ''WHAT?''
Chakotay: ''That's also why Seska was my girlfriend.''
Chakotay: "Bark at me... Come on Lieutenant... Bark!"
B'Elanna: "Grrrrrr. Rufffff, Rufff..."
♪ "You'll wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent". ♬
Chakotay: "You mistook superglue for toothpaste again, didn't you?"
If I hear one more of your damn parables I'm going to rip out your intestines and choke you with them.
Chakotay: ''Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, and anger... usually leads to me getting beaten up.''
P.A.D.D. touch, P.A.D.D. TOUCH!
Chakotay learned the hard way not to feed B'Elanna after midnight.
Voyager's crew always drew straws to determine who had to go down to engineering.
This is the last image retrieved from a destroyed camera.
Be honest, do these pants make my forehead look big?
... and "KILF" is NOT a complement!
If I'm a Klingon, why are my teeth like this?
Your honor, this picture proves conclusively that engineer Torres was the last person to see Chakotay alive.
Botox, BOTOX, now what am I supposed to do??????????
i am not smiling!!!
is there something in my teeth?
The state of barely contained homicidal rage that B'Elanna calls: being awake.
B'Elanna: ''You know what, Chakotay? Shove this PADD up your -''
Chakotay: ''Don't finish that sentence, and we'll just pretend that the next word was supposed to be 'Jefferies tube'.''
Nobody likes chain-PADDs.
Chakotay: ''Woah, what have I done that you are so angry with me?''
B'Elanna: ''Nothing, that's just my default mood.''
Chakotay: ''Chakotay to EMH, are you absolutely sure that you have given B'Elanna her rabies inoculation?''
B'Elanna's recent forays into exclusively eating traditional Klingon cuisine has just reached its most uncomfortable and embarrassing end.
Chakotay finally comes face to face with his spirit guide...
Unfortunately for him, it's a rabid half-Klingon engineer.
And THAT'S when the flag came down.
B'Elanna: "Uh Oh... IBS!"
Chakotay: "You be WHAT??"
B'Ellana: "NEELIX... WARP... CORE... CHILI!!!"
B'Elanna: ''It's B'Elanna! Not Belanna, Be'lanna, B'Ellana, B'Elana, B'Ellana, and definiteley not Bell'Anna!''
When I said I had to go, I didn't mean on an away mission!
For the last time Chakotay, I will not play a part in your production of "The Banana People Stole My Cow"!
Seriously, you'd tell me if I had gagh stuck in my teeth, right?
What do you mean, I am smiling!
Chakotay: You're just going to have to grit your teeth and get this done.
B'lanna: ...
Chakotay: I didn't mean this instant.
Torres: "OK Chakotay... You piss me off one more time and I'll suck your eyeballs out of your skull."
Chakotay: "Well, good morning to you too, Lieutenant.
B'Elanna: ''Don't laugh at my hair! I don't laugh at your stupid tattoo either!''
B'Elanna: ''A PADD is a shoddy birthday present, Chakotay!''
Klingon PMS:
I sense a soul in search of answers.....You're not going to make me retake this test.....are you?
I'm sorry Chakotay, but I'm looking for a much more effeminate man as a life mate.
Chakotay: well Qapla' with THAT!
Chakotay: ...And you still need to learn to control your temper. Which reminds me of a story told among my people about a warrior who...
B'Elanna: Oh, God, not again.
See I do brush and floss!
Chakotay: ''Wow, you are looking much better than last week!''
B'Elanna: ''That wasn't me. That was another Klingon woman.''
Chakotay: ''Oh sorry, it is just that... Uhm...''
EMH: "Please state the nature of the medical emergency."
B'Elanna (through gritted teeth): "LAACK JAAA!"
"An F?! Do you have ANY idea how many nights I stayed up late writing that history report?"
B'Elanna: There is no B'Elanna only Zuul.
B'Elanna is mad as hell and will not take Chakotay's s**t anymore.
And Round #47 of the Delta Quadrant Staring Contest!
B'Elanna: "ANGRY BIRDS!!??? I have enough to deal with every day with just my ANGRY THOUGHTS!"
Do Klingon females always bare their teeth?
Little known talent of the Duras Sisters #31:
They have a third sister working undercover on DS-9. Fortunately, she had access to excellent dental care.
B'Elanna: "Chakotay... Help me out. I was just chewing out Harry... and I think I got a piece of him caught in my teeth."
Through gritted teeth: No, I need a "feminine pad", thank you.
YOU WIN, Cyrus Ramsay!
If you show me that list ONE MORE TIME, I'm going to make you copy it onto these walls in your OWN MUSHY BLOOD!
Have hours of fun with the "Klingon Control" app.
My teeth? Why thanks... my father taught me to floss when I was little.
Chakotay: "Okay, you're right! Your hair is fine, but if you ever think about changing it, I'll just leave this list of hairstyles right here for you, okay?"
Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of China White Heroin burst?


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 14,975 Release date : 1 Aug 2015