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Unfortunately, on Ferenginar, the "Mile High Club" had quite a different meaning.
Looks like Odo is about to have a "Ferengi Afternoon".
''Automatic aiming is disabled!''
''Then we have to aim the torpedoes ourselves!''
''How!? Those ships are moving at warp speed! That's WAY too fast for proper manual aiming!''
"'Hey alien, mine's bigger.' No wonder humans can't get along with Klingons."
"Please do not shoot at the anti-matter warhead."
Moments before North Korea's last missile test.
As you can see, the Snap-On Tools® franchise continues to maintain its popularity through quality and diversity.
Star Trek's version of the 'trench run' doesn't quite measure up, but hitting the exhaust port is much easier this way.
Ferengi version of an Amazon delivery drone
"Delivery for Mr. Kim Jong Un ..."
I got your Prime Directive, RIGHT HERE!!
No, it's not the missile. It's the two wading pools he uses as "lobe-pieces”.
Hostile takeover? I'll give you hostile takeover!
Say hello to my little friend!
Here's one pen that's definitely mightier than the sword.
The article in Prevention Magazine on "10 Natural Ways to Boost Your Torpedo" was obviously misinterpreted.
Torpedoes = scary
Lobedos =scarier
He is suffering
from the delusion
of being
Captain Kirk.
"Overcompensation?? What chu talkin' bout Ulis?
You think THAT is bad? You should see his "strap on" LOBES!
Saddle up. Lock and Load.
The holodeck version of Warthunder is still in the Beta version.
IPBM: Interplanetary Ballistic Missile
''Why did you buy a torpedo!?''
''Torpedo? I thought that's an exotic fruit!''
Ferengi: "Let's get out of here, before anybody notices that Ferengi have no business whatsoever to be in this show!"
Brunt: Listen, I think we got started off on the wrong foot. Brunt, FCA. Uh - Let's talk music. Do you like the Elton John song, "Rocket Man"?
Kurn: I don't like soft-ass sh*t.
Brunt: Oh, you - Oh, oh. Oh. Well, I only bring it up because, uh, it's you. You're the Rocket Man.
Ferengi Exterminators:
"Roaches check in, but they don't check out!"
Bugs want in... Ferengi's keep them out!
Ferengi, to self: I'll teach that dog to "fetch".
First day problem, finding the torpedo tube.
Biggest firework show ever!
Janitors work is now made easier with this new weapon for unclogging toilets . Flush'em Out Of Space !!
Never point your weapon at your friends!
Ferengi: ''But... I don't have any friends...''
Ferengi: ''Delivery by torpedo! Why didn't I think of that sooner!? This way, the customers will ALWAYS get their slug pizzas on time!''
Ferengi: "Ulis... You've got to see this. It looks like numbers, slowly decreasing... And what's that ticking sound?
Rule of Acquisition # 34: War is good for business.
Returns are down the corridor and to your right . Please have a receipt ready.
''Look what I just bought!''
''A torpedo? What are we supposed to do with that? You are so easy to dupe into buying worthless junk! Like that one time you gave away half of your latinum for this stupid whip!''
''Hey, the price was totally worth it! The salesman told me that this is the original whip of the real Indiana Jones!''
"Lets play hide the Torpedo hehehe."
Nowadays most 'mericans celebrate Easter by blowing up Peeps® in their microwaves.
Different cultures have different Peeps® practices.
How else would you explain "Peepshi"?
"Can someone tell me where the bathroom is I have to drop a bomb?"
This is what that "little voice of reason” looks like in Bill O’Reilly’s head.
It’s probably just a coincidence, but this photo of “an idiot with a bomb” is a frightening parallel to the current world situation.
Please consider a light, charming, and whimsical selection for next month:
Archer getting a humiliating beating could work;
Golfing would be ok, (if we don’t have to foot the bill for security).
Thanks, Sincerely, The Whole Universe
Ferengi: ''Hello, who ordered this torpedo? Nobody? Hrm, damn prank calls...''
Indiana Ferengi and the Torpedo of Doom (when you see it, you'll get it.)
(muttering:) "Who's got small lobes now?!"
Ferengi: ''That thing is incredibly heavy, but luckily they have these shopping carts around here...''
He had waited outside that "occupied" toilet LONG ENOUGH.
Ferengi: "We have the best torpedoes. They're BEAUTIFUL! They're 10 times better than everyone else's torpedoes."
Ferengi: "We have the best torpedoes. They're BEAUTIFUL! They're 10 times better than everyone else's torpedoes."
...but does it come with a cup holder?
Kim Jong-un, just prior to Korea's latest missile test.
The Ferengi unveil their MOAT: "The Mother Of All Torpedoes"
Ferengi: ''Too phallic for you? Well, too bad, all Ferengi products are like that!'')
Ferengi: "...and if they got a peace treaty before we arrive at the planet on time to sell these weapons to them, we'll just rebrand them as celebratory fireworks!''
They see me rollin', they hatin'
Constipation? I've got just the thing you need. This'll clear it right up!
I am here to kick ass and eat slugs. And I'mm all out of slugs.
Amazon drones just can't compete with Ferengi delivery systems.
''Oh, no! Not again! Whenever the negotiations with our business partners are about to reach a favorable conclusion, YOU have to step in and torpedo everything!''
This is the Ferengi cure for hangovers. You just firmly bite the pointed end and press the remote deto... I mean the time release button and BOOM! Your hangover is gone!
When the Ferengi haven't cleaned their ears for too long they have to take extreme measures.
"Good news! It's a suppository!"
"Say hello to my LITTLE FWIEND!
James Bond: “Do you expect me to talk?”
Gold-pressed-latinum-finger: “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!”
Nazi spies invade US submarine and steal game changing missile (Colorized 1944)
"Nuclear weapon for sale! Nuclear weapon for sale! Who wants to buy a nuclear weapon?"
Ferengi: Mine's bigger.
Marvin, using the Illudium Q-36 Space Modulator, attempts to destroy the Earth because "it obstructs my view of Venus".
Director: "...and then he rams his torpedo into the tube..."
This is what you see when you're at the dentist's, and he says he needs to drill...
Never point the weapon you want to sell at a potential buyer. Yes, he may buy it, simply out of fear - but he certainly won't be a return customer!
This is what that "little voice of reason” looks like in Donald Trump’s head.
"Hey Muk, could you tell me where to stick this?"
The Ferengi's early models of the Universal Translator weren't exactly what you'd call portable.
Ferengi: ''Your ship needs more windows? Well, I can sell you the solution to your problem!''
Gentlemen, stand back. I got this.
Hope he doesn't hit a bump.
Dr. Sam Becket hopping his next leap would be the leap home .... ended up here . Wait till he looks in the mirror !
Ferengi: ''I wonder what this button does...''
*presses button*
Torpedo: ''10, 9, 8, 7...''
Ferengi: ''Uh oh...''
And ! The next item up for bids on This Weapon Is Yours ; A 22nd Century torpedo , Fully functional !!
The new tactical missile had a series design flaw, which this Ferengi discovered when he pushed the launch button, which is located directly behind the missile.
The day I learned to love The Bomb.
Go on punk, make my day.
Hi, Stranger...
Krem Jong-un
For frustrated Ferengi, there are alternative ways to compensate for disappointing lobes.
Masculine Compensation
"This is my weapon, there are many like but this one is mine."
This Ferengi won't be firing blanks !!
The Ferengi trader was not happy with his purchase as he was sold a dud .
The Dabo girls wont be laughing at me when they see size of this torpedo.
And here we have a state-of-the-art spatial torpedo, the most sophisticated guided munition in Starfleet's arsenal...and the most worthless piece of junk you'll ever find beyond Earth. That is one dumb Ferengi.
Contrary to what you might think, this Ferengi slaver is actually under-compensating.
"Wesley Crusher is gonna get a blast outta this suppository, hehehehe!"
"He won't negotiate, he says? Doesn't like my torpedo, he says? Doesn't like aliens, he says? I'll show that Trump fella what the Ferengi 'Art Of The Deal' is! No wall is gonna keep THIS salesman out!"
The Ferengi eagerly prepare for Donald Trump's military spending spree.
Say 'hello' to my little friend!
"OK, listen up! You guys are going to write a good Ferengi episode or else!!!"
This'll get that stupid road runner.
You can take even "aggressive negotiations" too far!
"Say Hello to MY LITTLE FRIEND" signed The Spatial Torpedo
Trip: Is that a Torpedo you're stealing, or are you happy to see me?
Ferengi took their ear suppositories in the "extra-large-jumbo" size
After years of searching, the Ferengi have finally found the perfect head ornament.
Ferengi (under his breath): "...poor negotiator my ass!"
Ferengi: "I'm sorry... I'm a bit lost. I'm looking for 1600 PENNSYLVANIA Ave."
DC Cop: "No problem... Down two blocks. Take a left. It's a couple of blocks on the right. Big white house. Can't miss it."
Ferengi: "Thanks."
''What do you mean, the Ferengi immediately broke off the negations and left in a huff? What on Earth did you say to him that was so insulting that it causes a Ferengi to forgo a lucrative business opportunity?''
''I just asked him if he was compensating for something...''
"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum."
"I knew it was a mistake to buy a prosthetic arm from Quark."
"We're out of liquorice torpedoes. Will this do?"
"Say 'Hello'to my little friend".
Unfortunately for him, this torpedo was made by the ACME Corporation.


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 30,191 Release date : 1 May 2017