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Caption Competition

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Winner

Name Caption
Chromedome "Why do the Borg keep saying 'Resistance is futile'?"
"We acquired the phrase when we assimilated the Vogons."
"And what did you say before?"
"Welcome to the collective. Have a nice day."

Special Mention

Name Caption
Captain 8472 Seven: Nelix, shouldn’t you be in sick bay? The plasma burns on your face require immediate treatment.
Nelix: What plasma burns?
Frankie Chestnuts Looking at this picture, one wonders: What the hell would Neelix look like with his head sticking out of a car sunroof at 80 mph.
.
My best guess: Not a lot different...
Cyrus Ramsay "Kes was my girlfriend, you're Kes's replacement, so..."
"Be careful how you finish that sentence."
Frankie Chestnuts Neelix: "I'm telling you Seven... A 'Greasy Neelix' is just a hamburger."
Miss Marple Seven of Nine take a a few deep “cleansing breaths” as she prepares to endure another one of Neelix’s asshole-ier than thou lectures.
Bird of Prey Neelix: "Uh, not that I question Captain Janeway's orders, I'm just curious... but what was the reason again why I'm supposed to enter that airlock?"
Seven: "You'll see that soon enough..."
Chromedome "Neelix, the 1980's called. They want their hairstyle back."
Bird of Prey Neelix: "Why does everybody dislike my leola root stew!? Even the Doctor, and he doesn't eat!"
Seven: "But he is the one who has to treat everbody's diarrhea."
Frankie Chestnuts Neelix: “But Seven… What was it about the Alfarian Hair Pasta that you didn’t like? Too spicy? Too hairy? Was the Alfarian not mature enough? Their hair really doesn’t get tender until they get to be 60 or 70 years old.”
Seven: “I should have never left the collective.”
Captain 8472 Seven refuses to be drawn into any discussion regarding politics. I envy her will power.
Bird of Prey Seven: "When the Borg assimilated a Talaxian once, they gave him a quite unique designation."
Neelix: "Really!? He must've been a very special dude then! What did they call him?"
Seven: "Zero of Zero."
Frankie Chestnuts Neelix: "So Seven... Your birthday is coming up. What would you like me to make you?
Seven: "You could make me alone."
Frankie Chestnuts Neelix: “A monk, a clone and a Ferengi walk into a bar…”
Seven: “Heard it.”
Neelix: “Jo Jo walks into the bar. He's wearin' a solid gold belt buckle this big: says 'Jo Jo' on it…”
Seven: “Heard it.”
Neelix: “A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other the other…”
Seven: “…and?”
Frankie Chestnuts Neelix: "Blah blah blah... Blah blah. Blah-dy blah, blah and blah."
Seven (to self): "...and I thought it was crowded in the collective."
Bird of Prey Seven: "Well, Mr. Neelix, like my mother always said - resistance is futile."
Neelix: "Your mother really said that?"
Seven: "And my father. And all the other drones of the Collective."
Frankie Chestnuts Neelix: "A monk, a clone and a Ferengi walk into a bar…"
Seven: "Heard it"
Neelix: "JoJo walks into the bar. He's wearin' a solid gold belt buckle…"
Seven: "Heard it"
Neelix: "A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other…"
Seven: "Heard it"
Neelix: "How do you know all these jokes?"
Seven: "We assimilated thousands of species. Including comics."
Frankie Chestnuts Neelix: "Seven... where DO you get your hair done?"
Seven: "Collective Cuts. Ask for Six of Thirteen, Secondary Stylist. Can I make you an appointment?"
Bird of Prey Neelix: "I just browsed the databank of old Earth movies, and found the coolest character ever!"
Seven: "Captain Proton?"
Neelix: "Proton schmoton, I'm talking about Pumbaa! He looks just like me!"
Bird of Prey Neelix: "Why do the Borg always say 'resistance is futile'?"
Seven: "It's for preventing people from fighting back when they try to assimilate them."
Neelix: "Has that ever worked?"
Seven: "... No."
Bird of Prey Seven: "Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01. That is my full designation."
Neelix: "Yeah well, I'm just Neelix. Neelix... Smith."
Frankie Chestnuts Here we see a rare photo of Neel Ox, founder and frontman of the crossover glam/goth metal band, Talax. Talax had a mild regional following in Cleveland in the mid ‘80’s prior to Neel’s meltdown. This photo shows Neel harassing one of his few remaining female fans of the band. Coincidentally, it is also the last know photo of Neel.
The Geek Neelix: "... But seriously. Name anyone or anything more popular with the fans than me."
7: "Me."
Neelix: "Okay, but your character exists specifically for the sex appeal."
7: "Naomi Wildman."
Neelix: "...Yeah, who doesn't like a cute kid..."
7: "Captain Janeway's replicator."
Neelix: "OH, COME ON!"
Miss Marple Neelix: We’ll, every childhood has its challenges. I always try to find a better perspective on things, and remind myself that things could be worse.
Seven: No. Being assimilated as a child to become a killing automaton IS the worst.
Miss Marple Neelix: … now comes the hardest part…
Seven: Waiting for the voting results?

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© Graham & Ian Kennedy Page views : 732 Last updated : 1 Apr 2022