|Bryan Moore||"Why don't you come to my quarters after shift and we'll make a 'Quantum Leap'!"|
|MR. WORF||Archer : Ahhh ! Hmmmm ! T'pol did you just cut the cheese .... gasp !!! Cough !!!!!
T'pol : Sir you wanted my to try some of your famous Chilli !
|EMH_MkI||T'Pol: Did you try rebooting it?
Archer: At least a dozen times.
T'Pol: Did you unplug and replug it back in?
Archer: That was the second thing we did.
T'Pol: How and WHY on Earth would you operatate a starship to on Windows 95?
Archer: *eyes Tucker*
|AJ||Yes, captain, the minecraft world is now officially larger than the known universe.|
|N'tran DS 12||If you examine this picture very carefully, you may notice a Starship Captain.|
|Bird of Prey||T'Pol: ''What is this?!''
Archer: ''This is called a screen saver.''
T'Pol: ''Flying toasters are illogical!''
|Bird of Prey||T'Pol: ''Captain, what -''
Archer: ''Surprise browser history inspection!''
|jg||when Archer saw that Big booty Andorans was on T'pol web searches, Archer immediately knew he would have to have a talk with Tripp.|
|Mr. Worf||Hmmm....Ah Topal , are you aware that starfeet regualations allow me to do a full breast inspection.?
Captain ! If you need to do this .... meet me in my quarters after my shift.
|stevewd||If he calls "cut" one more time, I'm going to scream!!!!!!|
|Bird of Prey||''T'Pol's anthropological log, day 465. The alpha silverback tries to groom me again.''|
|Chromedome||"Here we go, Scott. I've hacked the studio payroll system. That is how much Trineer is getting paid!"
"WHAT? He's getting paid more than us!"
"And he didn't even stand his round at the bar!"
|Bird of Prey||Archer: ''Are Vulcan kids already born with pointy ears, or...''
T'Pol: ''Captain, right now I have to focus on running your ship. Now get back to your seat.''
|Chromedome||"I am unable to detect any sign that Commander Tucker has any kind of dress sense."|
|Niall Johnson||Call Microsoft. I did not want to upgrade to Windows 10.|
|Niall Johnson||Does anyone know what "do you want to continue running the script means?"|
|Niall Johnson||You're telling me they cancelled us and put out these movies instead?|
|Niall Johnson||Why did we go HD again?|
|Niall Johnson||Trip, you taped over the Bridge log with you Risa vacation video?|
|Niall Johnson||Back at Starfleet, HR has a fit.|
|Niall Johnson||That makes me a Saaad Panda.|
|Chromedome||"Yes Captain, you put the jack of hearts on the queen of spades and then the six of clubs goes over here ... isn't that obvious?
|Chromedome||"Captain, I have hacked into Trip's Amazon account as you ordered. What do I do now?"
"Order him the Big Norgs Deluxe Inflatable Doll."
"Hmmmm, it appears that he has already done that, Captain!"
"Yes, on the same order as a stirrup pump, a yak and a vat of Nutella*."
"No wonder they call him Trippy!"
* = To avoid product placement bias, note that other nut based spreads are available!
|Bird of Prey||T'Pol: ''Captain, what was the password again?''
|Bird of Prey||Archer: ''Where is the 'any key'? Really!? That is your question? It simply means that it doesn't matter which key you press to proceed, only that you press one.''
T'Pol: ''A software that is actually encouraging random button smashing is illogical!''
|Bird of Prey||T'Pol: ''I know that you humans are fascinated by our ears, but I you HAVE to stare at them, at least try to do it more subtly.''|
|N;tran DS 12||Another alien with a bumpy forehead?...
No ... A worried starship captain.
|Mr. Worf||What was that you said Trip , she's enduring the Pawn Far ? I'm feelin' lucky !!!|
|ehass40062||Chanel de Plomik Soup? Sorry, it just doesn't do it for me.|
|McFortner||Archer: So tell me, T'Pol, you ever seen a grown man naked?|
|ilandra||How many seasons did your agent manage to negotiate?|
|Bird of Prey||T'Pol: ''Captain, why have you replaced the buttons of my console with piano keys?''
Archer: ''We are about to make first contact with an alien species, and I need you to play a series of five tones.''
|Admiral Dunsel||Archer: (whispering) " Jefferies tube 3, 15 minutes. Be careful, Trip looks like he's suspicious."|
|EMH_MkI||Archer: Alright, T'pol. Let's show them we mean business. Release the kraken!|
|Gambit36||Archer: "Why are you viewing footage from that bridge security camera?"
T'Pol: "It is apparently being used for a highly illogical waste of talent called a 'Caption Competition'...
|Bird of Prey||Archer: ''What is this? 'Space Invaders'? Ha! I KNEW you Vulcans are up to something!''
T'Pol: ''This is just a computer game!''
|Cyrus Ramsay||"How come Jolene can read her lines of this monitor while we have to learn ours?"
"Scott, your're the only one who ISN'T using a monitor."
|Cyrus Ramsay||"I've shown T'Pol every episode of 'Quantum Leap' and she still won't accept the possibility of time travel."|
|Bird of Prey||Archer: ''Are you playing Tetris at work again?''
T'Pol: ''This isn't Tetris. It is a Vulcan mind training program that -''
Archer: ''To me it looks very much like Tetris!''
|Horta not Vorta||Over the shoulder boulder holder.|
|N'tran DS 12||"No, Captain, that is not how you do the Vulcan eyebrow."|
|Cailus||Starfleet gave Captain Archer a nice, comfy chair to work out of during bridge shifts. They apparently forgot that Archer thihks he's an action hero. Sitting isn't cool.|
|Cailus||Archer: ...Wait. Is that a Tellarite...in a harness...with that Andorian's antennae in her-
T'Pol: It is part of my education on alien interaction.
Archer: ...On the next bridge, the captain will be able to see all stations from his chair.
|Frankie Chestnuts||Archer: "It's alright, Commander... Calm down. Just tell me... Who gave you the haircut?"|
|Frankie Chestnuts||Archer: "Yes Commander... I'm CERTAIN we need to be spending the afternoon in the Decon Chamber."|
|EMH_MkI||T'Pol: I've found the problem. You're still running Windows 2100. And it has never been updated.
Reed: *ducks behinde console*
|Miss Marple||Often Jolene would mutter "Now YOU keep a straight face" to co-workers while flashing them a little sideboob.
|PegasusJF||Archer: Look, I got one job on this lousy ship, it's stupid, but I gotta do it!|
|PegasusJF||Captain Archer is not afraid to have a word with his subordinates publicly|
|PegasusJF||Johnathan Archer, Captain, Savior of Earth, micromanager.|
|PegasusJF||Archer: Sorry T'Pol, we didn't know the Trekfansian ambassador would have such a fixation on your ears.|
|Copyright Graham Kennedy||Page views : 3,133||Release date : 30 Nov -0001|