Caption Competition

"Jim. May I have a word with you about the importance of flushing the officer's toilet?"

Bones: "You two violate the Prime Directive so often they should name it the Sub-Prime Directive."

McCoy: So, Jim, what are we doing tonight?
Kirk: The same thing we do every night. Try to take over the world!
Spock: You two need to stop watching Animaniacs.

"So. Jim. Which Starfleet directive are we violating this week?"

McCoy: If you want to share embarrassing stories, let me remind you of your 23rd birthday party.
Kirk: Bones, not now…
McCoy: How many times were you rejected at that bar? I lost count after 10… too much gin.

McCoy: While we wait for a customer service representative, who is up for a game of Risk? I bet we could compete 2 games before we are even speaking to a person.

"You mean you don't remember where you parked the shuttle?"

It's these new uniforms
Nobody wears Red.

“Jim, I received your latest medical records. We need to have a very thorough conversation regarding safe… ‘activities.’”

McCoy: So, Jim, now you know why I refuse to get married.

McCoy: So, Jim, what did you do with the ambassador’s daughter this time?

Spock: "Go home, McCoy, you're drunk."

Kirk: *requests status update*
Spock: *provides analysis*
McCoy: *makes a wry observation*

Kelley: "So what have you two been doing since we last met?"
Shatner: "I did a retrospective of the best bits of T.J.Hooker!"
Nimoy: "All 15 minutes of it. Including the commercials."

"So by the time Trump had shut down all the TV channels that were critical of him, the only one left was Russia Today."

McCoy: So, the diplomat we are escorting is the father of one of your ex-girlfriends. Were we requested or assigned by someone else you angered?

Bones: "I gather that when Trump visited London, the Brits offered him a secure basement room in the Tower of London where he could stay at His Majesty's pleasure."

Bones: "Let me tell you, this is tremendous, absolutely tremendous. We're talking about the best Starship, folks. Bigger than any other ship you’ve ever seen. Believe me, most people don’t know this, but it carries the most talented surgeon in Star Fleet. Just the best!
.
We’re going to make Star Fleet great again, folks. We're bringing back the excellence, the greatness."

"Jim, you wouldn't be in Jeffery Epstein's records?"

"Jim, would your name be in the Weinstein files?"

Kirk: Bones, I don’t want to hear about it.
McCoy: It’s either my lecture or the story of your first use of Viagra.

"C'mon, Jim. Don't you recognise Frankie Chestnuts when you see him?"

Shatner: "We don't really kill the redshirts, do we?"
Kelley: "Of course we do! They're better actors than you Bill, but they still can't do a death convincingly."
Shatner: "No! That's not right is it Leonard?"
Nimoy: "Which bit? Killing the redshirts or them being better actors than you?"

Bones: "What happened to Ensign Dave?"
Kirk: "Ensign Dave?"
Bones: "Yeah, Dave. Scrawny guy. Friend of Ensign Ricky."
Spock: "The one who got eaten on the last away mission."
Bones: "Yeah, him!"
Kirk: "He had a better agent than Ricky and got himself hired as an extra on a remake of I Love Lucy."
Spock: "He'd have been better off getting eaten."

"We're over here because we know you had a spicy burrito for lunch."

Bones: "Hey, what happened to Ensign Ricky?"
Kirk: "Ensign Ricky?"
Bones: "Sure... Ensign Ricky, security, red tunic?"
Spock: "I understand he was eaten on the last away mission."
Bones: "EATEN?"
Kirk: "Yeah... eaten by a big hairy alien monster. Kind of like a Mugato."

McCoy: … and so you ended your retirement. And people say I am afraid of marriage.

McCoy: The only way I will ever understand a Vulcan is if, by some miracle, it is possible to download their entire personality into my brain.

Bones: "I'm a DOCTOR Jim, not a judge of your poor life choices... but if I WERE to judge your poor life choices..."

"That's right, Jim. Keep social distancing."

Bones: "You had a sandwich with mustard today, Jim."
Kirk: "How did you know?"
Bones: "You're wearing it."

Kirk missed the memo that day. Beige, not Robin Egg!

Unfortunately, Bones was not mad, just disappointed.

McCoy: Why was the ship’s new main computer named HAL?

Bones: Check out the aura on this sucker.
Kirk: Now, there’s definitely a living presence there.
Spock: We should get a deeper look.
Kirk: Why don’t I run this through the spectral analyzer.
Bones: I’ll try turning up the roentgens.
Kirk: So, what do you think? Chinese?
Bones: Thai?
Spock: No, it’s too spicy.
Kirk: Greek?
Bones: Mexican?
Spock: Pizza.
Bones: Thin or thick?
Kirk & Spock: Chicago!

“Jim, as your doctor, I must advise you to not date for the next two weeks. Your treatment is not yet complete.”

“So, Jim, what did you do to anger the Tholian ambassador so much? Our two species are reproductively incompatible.”

Bones: "SURE I like gladiator movies... Particularly those ones with the oiled up ex-bodybuilders... Why do you ask?"

Bones: "SURE I like gladiator movies... Don't you?"

Bones: "Sorry, Jim. I don't think having a urinal on the bridge is one of your better ideas."

Bones: "It's gold tunics today, Jim. You know the rules!"
(offscreen) Rick Astley: "And so do I!"

"You're out, Jim - he didn't say 'Simon Says'!"

"I'll have a Mint Julep, then a stiff Horse's Neck for Mr. Spock, and for our Captain ... Sex On The Beach, of course!"

Bones: "There's no getting away from it, Jim. It's time for your Big Ivan to give you your enema."

McCoy: The uniforms were change as a result of to many ‘expendable red-shirt’ jokes.

Bones: "So you've got my blue uniform!"

McCoy: Jim, your fly was down during that entire discussion with the Deltan ambassador.

McCoy: Jim, next time, just let security deal with the betrayed husband.

McCoy: So, your romantic relationship failed and you come back to Starfleet as a result. It sounds so familiar. *smirks*

McCoy: I have plenty of snide remarks available. I just choose to hold back from time to time.

A command team, hard to beat
Part of Starfleet elite
Kirk for the passion
Spock for the caution
Why is Decker in the center seat?

Bones: "Matching sideburns? Really?"

McCoy: So, how does it feel? Starfleet Command is sending you back to the academy for one-to-many violations of the Prime Directive.

McCoy: So, they managed to pull you out of retirement. What, were there not enough bikini clad women where you were?

McCoy: The new uniforms sure do show off vanity girdles.

McCoy: I have been told the new uniforms were designed to be as problematic as possible.

McCoy: What did you do to make your girlfriend contact you, while on you are on the bridge, to break up with you?

Bones: “How many times do we have to tell you, Jim… Gold tunics are on Tuesday/Thursday. Blue tunics are on Monday/Wednesday and ever other Saturday.”

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Entries

Caption	Vote
"Jim. May I have a word with you about the importance of flushing the officer's toilet?"
Bones: "You two violate the Prime Directive so often they should name it the Sub-Prime Directive."
McCoy: So, Jim, what are we doing tonight? Kirk: The same thing we do every night. Try to take over the world! Spock: You two need to stop watching Animaniacs.
"So. Jim. Which Starfleet directive are we violating this week?"
McCoy: If you want to share embarrassing stories, let me remind you of your 23rd birthday party. Kirk: Bones, not now… McCoy: How many times were you rejected at that bar? I lost count after 10… too much gin.
McCoy: While we wait for a customer service representative, who is up for a game of Risk? I bet we could compete 2 games before we are even speaking to a person.
"You mean you don't remember where you parked the shuttle?"
It's these new uniforms Nobody wears Red.
“Jim, I received your latest medical records. We need to have a very thorough conversation regarding safe… ‘activities.’”
McCoy: So, Jim, now you know why I refuse to get married.
McCoy: So, Jim, what did you do with the ambassador’s daughter this time?
Spock: "Go home, McCoy, you're drunk."
Kirk: requests status update Spock: provides analysis McCoy: makes a wry observation
Kelley: "So what have you two been doing since we last met?" Shatner: "I did a retrospective of the best bits of T.J.Hooker!" Nimoy: "All 15 minutes of it. Including the commercials."
"So by the time Trump had shut down all the TV channels that were critical of him, the only one left was Russia Today."
McCoy: So, the diplomat we are escorting is the father of one of your ex-girlfriends. Were we requested or assigned by someone else you angered?
Bones: "I gather that when Trump visited London, the Brits offered him a secure basement room in the Tower of London where he could stay at His Majesty's pleasure."
Bones: "Let me tell you, this is tremendous, absolutely tremendous. We're talking about the best Starship, folks. Bigger than any other ship you’ve ever seen. Believe me, most people don’t know this, but it carries the most talented surgeon in Star Fleet. Just the best! . We’re going to make Star Fleet great again, folks. We're bringing back the excellence, the greatness."
"Jim, you wouldn't be in Jeffery Epstein's records?"
"Jim, would your name be in the Weinstein files?"
Kirk: Bones, I don’t want to hear about it. McCoy: It’s either my lecture or the story of your first use of Viagra.
"C'mon, Jim. Don't you recognise Frankie Chestnuts when you see him?"
Shatner: "We don't really kill the redshirts, do we?" Kelley: "Of course we do! They're better actors than you Bill, but they still can't do a death convincingly." Shatner: "No! That's not right is it Leonard?" Nimoy: "Which bit? Killing the redshirts or them being better actors than you?"
Bones: "What happened to Ensign Dave?" Kirk: "Ensign Dave?" Bones: "Yeah, Dave. Scrawny guy. Friend of Ensign Ricky." Spock: "The one who got eaten on the last away mission." Bones: "Yeah, him!" Kirk: "He had a better agent than Ricky and got himself hired as an extra on a remake of I Love Lucy." Spock: "He'd have been better off getting eaten."
"We're over here because we know you had a spicy burrito for lunch."
Bones: "Hey, what happened to Ensign Ricky?" Kirk: "Ensign Ricky?" Bones: "Sure... Ensign Ricky, security, red tunic?" Spock: "I understand he was eaten on the last away mission." Bones: "EATEN?" Kirk: "Yeah... eaten by a big hairy alien monster. Kind of like a Mugato."
McCoy: … and so you ended your retirement. And people say I am afraid of marriage.
McCoy: The only way I will ever understand a Vulcan is if, by some miracle, it is possible to download their entire personality into my brain.
Bones: "I'm a DOCTOR Jim, not a judge of your poor life choices... but if I WERE to judge your poor life choices..."
"That's right, Jim. Keep social distancing."
Bones: "You had a sandwich with mustard today, Jim." Kirk: "How did you know?" Bones: "You're wearing it."
Kirk missed the memo that day. Beige, not Robin Egg!
Unfortunately, Bones was not mad, just disappointed.
McCoy: Why was the ship’s new main computer named HAL?
Bones: Check out the aura on this sucker. Kirk: Now, there’s definitely a living presence there. Spock: We should get a deeper look. Kirk: Why don’t I run this through the spectral analyzer. Bones: I’ll try turning up the roentgens. Kirk: So, what do you think? Chinese? Bones: Thai? Spock: No, it’s too spicy. Kirk: Greek? Bones: Mexican? Spock: Pizza. Bones: Thin or thick? Kirk & Spock: Chicago!
“Jim, as your doctor, I must advise you to not date for the next two weeks. Your treatment is not yet complete.”
“So, Jim, what did you do to anger the Tholian ambassador so much? Our two species are reproductively incompatible.”
Bones: "SURE I like gladiator movies... Particularly those ones with the oiled up ex-bodybuilders... Why do you ask?"
Bones: "SURE I like gladiator movies... Don't you?"
Bones: "Sorry, Jim. I don't think having a urinal on the bridge is one of your better ideas."
Bones: "It's gold tunics today, Jim. You know the rules!" (offscreen) Rick Astley: "And so do I!"
"You're out, Jim - he didn't say 'Simon Says'!"
"I'll have a Mint Julep, then a stiff Horse's Neck for Mr. Spock, and for our Captain ... Sex On The Beach, of course!"
Bones: "There's no getting away from it, Jim. It's time for your Big Ivan to give you your enema."
McCoy: The uniforms were change as a result of to many ‘expendable red-shirt’ jokes.
Bones: "So you've got my blue uniform!"
McCoy: Jim, your fly was down during that entire discussion with the Deltan ambassador.
McCoy: Jim, next time, just let security deal with the betrayed husband.
McCoy: So, your romantic relationship failed and you come back to Starfleet as a result. It sounds so familiar. smirks
McCoy: I have plenty of snide remarks available. I just choose to hold back from time to time.
A command team, hard to beat Part of Starfleet elite Kirk for the passion Spock for the caution Why is Decker in the center seat?
Bones: "Matching sideburns? Really?"
McCoy: So, how does it feel? Starfleet Command is sending you back to the academy for one-to-many violations of the Prime Directive.
McCoy: So, they managed to pull you out of retirement. What, were there not enough bikini clad women where you were?
McCoy: The new uniforms sure do show off vanity girdles.
McCoy: I have been told the new uniforms were designed to be as problematic as possible.
McCoy: What did you do to make your girlfriend contact you, while on you are on the bridge, to break up with you?
Bones: “How many times do we have to tell you, Jim… Gold tunics are on Tuesday/Thursday. Blue tunics are on Monday/Wednesday and ever other Saturday.”

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