 |
| Name | Caption |
| The Geek | Stewart: 'It goes like this, Marina. The blonde will be killed off toward the end of the season. The redhead will be unceremoneously fired and replaced by an old woman, leaving you to be the only sex appeal on the entire show!' McFadden: 'Aw, dammit...' Crosby (offscreen): 'Wait, what?' |
| Name | Caption |
| The Geek | Troi: 'Now that you mention it, Captain, I have also noticed Wesley is a twit.' Crusher: 'Uh, standing right here, guys.' |
| Ktasay | Picard: Who do you think you are with that hairstyle? Troi: Lady Gaga |
| David Salberg | Troi: Is there a reason why I don't get a Federation uniform? Picard: I can think of two. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Troi: 'I'm sensing hatred... All directed toward a smug little pissant... a thin weasel... a twerp... a dweeb...' Picard: 'Counselor, are you talking about ME?' Crusher: 'NO you idiot... She's talking about WESLEY!' |
| nerd86 | Troi: Clearly Crusher is the PC and I am the far more aesthetically pleasing and useful Mac. Picard: I don't care because that makes me Google and I control both of you from deep inside your software. Crusher: I love it when you talk dirty! |
| Bird of Prey | Troi: 'Why do you assume that *I* know what has happened to Dr. Crusher's supply of theobromine?' |
| DBB | Beverly: How was your date with the ensign last night. Deanna: He was older than you led me to believe. Beverly: I thought he looked nice. Deanna: He was bald. Very bald. He moved a certain way and the light bouncing off his head blinded me a little. I just can stand bald men. Beverly: Oh, come on. Bald men can look distinguished. Deanna: No. No, they can't. Picard: *dies a little inside* |
| DBB | Picard: Counselor, I plan to give the Romulan captain my 'angry face.' How does this look? Troi: It looks good, captain. Very angry. |
| Bird of Prey | Picard: 'Can I be the Achilles to your Troi?' Troi: 'Worst pick-up line I ever heard!' Crusher: 'Oh, he can do worse. He asked me once if he can be the hills to my Beverly.' |
| The Geek | A brunette, a redhead and a bald guy walk on to the Bridge. Data looks over, and says, 'I fail to see the humor of this scenario.' |
| The Geek | Troi: 'I don't understand, sir. Why does Doctor Crusher wear a standard- issue Starfleet uniform, but I have to wear a catsuit with a plunging neckline?' Picard: 'For the simple reason you have the more impressive rack, Counselor.' Crusher: 'That's right! Heeey...' |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Troi: I'm sensing pain... disappointment... Many confused thoughts... (turns to face Picard.) Captain... What is the 'Rapture'? |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Beverly (to self) 'Tarty little whore.' Trio: 'I'm sensing resentment...' Beverly: 'BITCH!' Picard: 'Even I heard THAT one.' |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Crusher (to self): 'Jeez... Troi's hair looks like she had it done by a blind racoon...' Trio: 'I heard that... and he was't blind.' |
| The Geek | Troi: 'Their culture is quite advanced, Captain. They achieved warp drive a hundred years ago, they have a thriving arts and theatre community, virtually no crime, and stop looking down my shirt.' |
| nerd86 | Ménage à Troi. |
| nerd86 | Troi: *utter nonsense* Picard: *anger* Crusher: *ennui* |
| Captain Redbeard | My Betazoid heritage allows me to hear the thoughts of others... Right now you're wondering if I have a brain tumor that lets me hear the thoughts of others. |
| Mr. President | Troi: 'And then she said that my milkshake would bring all the boys to the yard.' Picard: 'Doctor?' Crusher: 'It's true, it would.' |
| nerd86 | Troi: Crusher is functional and logical like a PC while I am fun and easy like a Mac. Picard: More like 'pretty but useless' like an iPad. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Trio: 'Captain... Beverly and I have been discussing this, and we're confused... You're French... Jean Luc and all... But you speak with a British accent... What's up with that?' Picard: *cold stare* Crusher: 'Gotcha.. Come on Deanna... Let's go harass Wesley.' |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Trio: 'Captain... Beverly and I have been discussing this, and we're confused... You're French... Jean Luc and all... But you speak with a British accent... What's up with that?' Picard: *cold stare* |
| The Geek | Troi: 'Captain, I did not feel as if the ambassadors took me seriously.' Crusher: 'Could it be because you are dressed like a streetwalker?' Troi: 'I am at a total loss as to why they did not take me seriously!' Crusher: 'Are you even listening, Troi?' Troi: 'No idea at all...' |
| The Geek | Troi: 'Oh, and to answer your question from earlier, Captain, yes, the doctor's carpet does match the drapes.' (Total silence on entire Bridge) Geordi (offscreen): 'Awkwaaarrrd...' |
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