New dumbass scams thread

[Mark]

From: Lione Prez (lione00prez@gmail.com)
Sent: Wed 12/08/10 8:25 PM
To: Redacted - Seafort



Dear Beloved,
I am Madam Lione Prez-a citizen of philippine,widow, and legitimate heir to the late former Minister of finance who was assassinated for been working with the ex-president Joseph .E in philippine.

I inherited a total sum of 5 million dollars my late husband, The presure from my decease husband's family for this money has compelled me to leave Manila and have the money which is concealed in a metallic trunk box is deposited with a security and finance company Burkina Faso under a secret arrangement as a family treasure.
This means that the security company does not know the content of this box that was shipped from the Philippine to Burkina Faso under a diplomatic coverage.

My purpose of asking for your assistance boil down to the fact that I don't want my late husband's family to be aware or name involve, and the deposit statement of the box authorized the company to make this box avaliable for shipment on request only to my foreignbussiness representative, though unname.

Hence I want you to contact the the security company as my bussiness partner / associate, after receiving the prove from me to enable the company release the consigment to you diplomatically, while I join you on the arrival of the box.

I have recently paid all demurrage ,storage charges and the shipment fee, all you need do is to help me contact the security company and introduce yourself as my bussiness partner / associate ,requesting the shipment of the box to your address which you will provide.

And as soon as Diplomatic shipping agent approved the shipment and tell you the arrival date of the box then I will join you to give you 15% of the money instantly before I go on with the proposed investment in your domain provided is secured and investment friendly.Please if you are interested and willing to represent me as my bussiness partner / associate kindly write me as soon as possible.

I awaits your urgent response,
Best wishes
Madam Lione Prez.

Seriously? I'm of half a mind to respond with some crazy stuff.

[Nickswitz]

But the thing is that's what this person wants. Then they know that the email address they sent it to is accurate and a real person so they can spam you more. This one isn't asking for personal information or anything, it just wants a response. Oh, and BTW Mark, you should edit out your email, just remember, it's an open forum and that just invites more spam to come your way.

[Captain Seafort]

What email? 8)

[Mark]

Thanks Seafort

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Smooth, Seafort.

Wow, that one's pathetic even by scam standards.

[stitch626]

The grammer in this makes me cry.

[Reliant121]

The grammer

....

[Sonic Glitch]

The grammer

....

He said grammar not spelling.

[Reliant121]

Psh, details

[Teaos]

To be fair, bad spelling is in keeping with the character.

[Lighthawk]

INTERNATIONAL CONSIGNMENT INSPECTION DEPARTMENT
HEATHROW INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - LONDON
UNITED KINGDOM.

RE : SEALED CONSIGNMENT BOX ARRIVAL.

WE WISH TO INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE WAITED FOR THE NON INSPECTION CERTIFICATE FOR A WHILE BUT DID NOT RECEIVE ANY RECORDS OF THE DOCUMENT FROM YOU AND AS ROUTINE IN OUR OFFICE HAVE SCANNED YOUR INTERCEPTED CONSIGNMENT BOX TO DISCOVER THAT IT CONTAINS CASH PACKED IN $100.00 DOLLAR BILLS TO THE AMOUNT OF $8,500,000 MILLION DOLLARS INSTEAD OF THE REGISTERED (FAMILY VALUABLES / CHURCH RELIEF MATERIALS) WHICH WE FOUND OUT IS A DISGUISE. AFTER DUE INVESTIGATION CARRIED OUT HERE AT OUR HEAD OFFICE LONDON AND THE SECURITY COMPANY HAVE CONFIRMED THAT YOUR FUNDS ORIGINATED AS INHERITANCE MEANT FOR CHARITY TO HELP THE POOR AND ORPHANS IN THE SOCIETY WHICH IS NOT INVOLVED IN MONEY LAUNDERING/TERRORIST SPONSORSHIP.

FIRST WE HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THE ETHICS OF DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY TO AVOID DELAY IN RECEIVING YOUR INHERITANCE FUNDS. DUE TO THE DELICATE NATURE OF THIS TRANSACTION AS WE ARE NOW AWARE THAT THE BOX CONTAINS CASH INSTEAD OF THE DISGUISED (FAMILY VALUABLES / CHURCH RELIEF MATERIALS), WE ARRANGED AN INSTANT DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY TO MAINTAIN CONFIDENTIALITY AND SAFETY OF THE FUNDS. OUR SPECIAL FEMALE DIPLOMAT AGENT KAREN MARIE BETTENCOURT WAS APPOINTED IMMEDIATELY TO DELIVER THE SEALED CONSIGNMENT BOX TO YOUR ADDRESS AS CHRISTMAS PACKAGE AND THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT SHE HAS CONFIRMED TO US THAT SHE HAS ARRIVED UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WITH YOUR BOX. THE REASON WHY WE HAVE USED A LADY AGENT THIS TIME IS BECAUSE PREVIOUS ATTEMPTS WITH MALE AGENTS FAILED WITHOUT ANY POSITIVE RESULTS SO WE SOLICIT YOUR MAXIMUM COOPERATION WITH THE DELIVERY LADY TO ENABLE HER DELIVER THE BOX TO YOU THIS WEEK AND RETURN BACK TO ENGLAND.

CONGRATULATION! THE CONSIGNMENT BOX HAS ARRIVED UNITED STATES OF AMERICA SO CONTACT THE SPECIAL AGENT KAREN MARIE BETTENCOURT A(diplomat1987@atlantisgoose.com) AND RECONFIRM TO HER THE FOLLOWING DETAILS BELOW SO THAT SHE WILL NOT HAVE PROBLEM LOCATING YOU IMMEDIATELY WITH THE BOX. THE ONLY FEE YOU WILL PAY AT THE AIRPORT IN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS THE CUSTOMS DUTY AND ARRIVAL CLEARANCE CHARGES SO THAT THE BOX WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR DOORSTEP WITHIN 4 HOURS.

- FULL NAMES
- RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
- TELEPHONE/MOBILE NUMBERS
- ATTACHED COPY OF IDENTIFICATION
- NEAREST INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

WE HOPE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR SINCERITY AND DEDICATION TO SERVICES SO DO NOT DELAY OR INCONVENIENCE MS KAREN MARIE BETTENCOURT AS SHE HAS VERY LIMITED TIME TO DELIVER THE BOX TO YOU AND BOARD THE NEXT AVAILABLE FLIGHT BACK TO ENGLAND. PLEASE FOR HER SAFETY AS A LADY, ALL COMMUNICATIONS SHOULD BE KEPT HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN YOU AND HER ONLY TO AVOID ATTACK ON HER BY INTERNATIONAL CRIMINALS AS WHAT IS IN HER POSSESSION CONTAINS HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY WITH HIGHLY RATED DOCUMENTS REGARDING YOUR INHERITANCE. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE SHOULD KNOW THE REAL CONTENT OF THE BOX UNTIL YOU MEET WITH THE AGENT KAREN MARIE BETTENCOURT TO AVOID INTERCEPTION OF INFORMATION.

KEEP US INFORMED AS SOON AS YOU MAKE CONTACT WITH HER, SHE WILL SEND YOU HER US CONTACT NUMBER TO FACILITATE THE DELIVERY.


YOURS FAITHFULLY,
PASTOR GEORGE DEAN.
CONTROLLER GENERAL INTERNATIONAL INSPECTION DEPARTMENT
HEATHROW INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - LONDON


Fresh today! I'm not sure what's the most laughable, the horrible grammar, the absurd logic, the completely obvious lack of understanding of the size of the US, or just that they had TO SHOUT THE ENTIRE TIME, which I'm sure was just for excited emphasis.

[Mikey]

IN THE SOCIETY WHICH IS NOT INVOLVED IN MONEY LAUNDERING/TERRORIST SPONSORSHIP.

"You know, in case you were wondering... 'cause we're not... not that anyone mentioned it... because we're really, really not..."

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Love that suspiciously specific denial, there.

[USSEnterprise]

INTERNATIONAL CONSIGNMENT INSPECTION DEPARTMENT
HEATHROW INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - LONDON
UNITED KINGDOM.

RE : SEALED CONSIGNMENT BOX ARRIVAL.

WE WISH TO INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE WAITED FOR THE NON INSPECTION CERTIFICATE FOR A WHILE BUT DID NOT RECEIVE ANY RECORDS OF THE DOCUMENT FROM YOU AND AS ROUTINE IN OUR OFFICE HAVE SCANNED YOUR INTERCEPTED CONSIGNMENT BOX TO DISCOVER THAT IT CONTAINS CASH PACKED IN $100.00 DOLLAR BILLS TO THE AMOUNT OF $8,500,000 MILLION DOLLARS INSTEAD OF THE REGISTERED (FAMILY VALUABLES / CHURCH RELIEF MATERIALS) WHICH WE FOUND OUT IS A DISGUISE. AFTER DUE INVESTIGATION CARRIED OUT HERE AT OUR HEAD OFFICE LONDON AND THE SECURITY COMPANY HAVE CONFIRMED THAT YOUR FUNDS ORIGINATED AS INHERITANCE MEANT FOR CHARITY TO HELP THE POOR AND ORPHANS IN THE SOCIETY WHICH IS NOT INVOLVED IN MONEY LAUNDERING/TERRORIST SPONSORSHIP.

FIRST WE HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THE ETHICS OF DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY TO AVOID DELAY IN RECEIVING YOUR INHERITANCE FUNDS. DUE TO THE DELICATE NATURE OF THIS TRANSACTION AS WE ARE NOW AWARE THAT THE BOX CONTAINS CASH INSTEAD OF THE DISGUISED (FAMILY VALUABLES / CHURCH RELIEF MATERIALS), WE ARRANGED AN INSTANT DIPLOMATIC DELIVERY TO MAINTAIN CONFIDENTIALITY AND SAFETY OF THE FUNDS. OUR SPECIAL FEMALE DIPLOMAT AGENT KAREN MARIE BETTENCOURT WAS APPOINTED IMMEDIATELY TO DELIVER THE SEALED CONSIGNMENT BOX TO YOUR ADDRESS AS CHRISTMAS PACKAGE AND THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT SHE HAS CONFIRMED TO US THAT SHE HAS ARRIVED UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WITH YOUR BOX. THE REASON WHY WE HAVE USED A LADY AGENT THIS TIME IS BECAUSE PREVIOUS ATTEMPTS WITH MALE AGENTS FAILED WITHOUT ANY POSITIVE RESULTS SO WE SOLICIT YOUR MAXIMUM COOPERATION WITH THE DELIVERY LADY TO ENABLE HER DELIVER THE BOX TO YOU THIS WEEK AND RETURN BACK TO ENGLAND.

CONGRATULATION! THE CONSIGNMENT BOX HAS ARRIVED UNITED STATES OF AMERICA SO CONTACT THE SPECIAL AGENT KAREN MARIE BETTENCOURT A(diplomat1987@atlantisgoose.com) AND RECONFIRM TO HER THE FOLLOWING DETAILS BELOW SO THAT SHE WILL NOT HAVE PROBLEM LOCATING YOU IMMEDIATELY WITH THE BOX. THE ONLY FEE YOU WILL PAY AT THE AIRPORT IN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS THE CUSTOMS DUTY AND ARRIVAL CLEARANCE CHARGES SO THAT THE BOX WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR DOORSTEP WITHIN 4 HOURS.

- FULL NAMES
- RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS
- TELEPHONE/MOBILE NUMBERS
- ATTACHED COPY OF IDENTIFICATION
- NEAREST INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

WE HOPE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND OUR SINCERITY AND DEDICATION TO SERVICES SO DO NOT DELAY OR INCONVENIENCE MS KAREN MARIE BETTENCOURT AS SHE HAS VERY LIMITED TIME TO DELIVER THE BOX TO YOU AND BOARD THE NEXT AVAILABLE FLIGHT BACK TO ENGLAND. PLEASE FOR HER SAFETY AS A LADY, ALL COMMUNICATIONS SHOULD BE KEPT HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN YOU AND HER ONLY TO AVOID ATTACK ON HER BY INTERNATIONAL CRIMINALS AS WHAT IS IN HER POSSESSION CONTAINS HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY WITH HIGHLY RATED DOCUMENTS REGARDING YOUR INHERITANCE. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE SHOULD KNOW THE REAL CONTENT OF THE BOX UNTIL YOU MEET WITH THE AGENT KAREN MARIE BETTENCOURT TO AVOID INTERCEPTION OF INFORMATION.

KEEP US INFORMED AS SOON AS YOU MAKE CONTACT WITH HER, SHE WILL SEND YOU HER US CONTACT NUMBER TO FACILITATE THE DELIVERY.


YOURS FAITHFULLY,
PASTOR GEORGE DEAN.
CONTROLLER GENERAL INTERNATIONAL INSPECTION DEPARTMENT
HEATHROW INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - LONDON


Fresh today! I'm not sure what's the most laughable, the horrible grammar, the absurd logic, the completely obvious lack of understanding of the size of the US, or just that they had TO SHOUT THE ENTIRE TIME, which I'm sure was just for excited emphasis.

The CAPS give it credibility!

[Angharrad]

Actually I'm KAREN MARIE BETTENCOURT and I spent your $8,500,000 MILLION DOLLARS on drugs, boy toys and electronics.

Oh and a new identity, you'll never find me.