I doubt myself.

Granitehewer · Post by **Granitehewer** » Sat Sep 15, 2012 5:32 pm

Anyone who knows me will know that I'm a generally placid often playful and sometimes a profound soul.
Recently I was in a confrontation with a neighbour whom I've known and got along with for thirty years, boy and man so to use the awful cliché.
The guy has always revelled in being the hard man of the area, we're a quiet community and so anyone with an ounce of attitude, big dog, loud radio or muscle definition stands out to notoriety especially a former doorman.
A few weeks ago this guy clearly on drugs and drink and fuelled to his hilt roared his S.U.V. onto my lawn and stormed himself against our front door. when my father (frail and seriously ill) opened the door the neighbour whom we shall call ''Keith'' was threatening and promised to smash our skull in there and then and spent several minutes with his grown son posturing and screaming at us- we'd allegedly complained about his dog to another neighbour.
For several weeks my parents could barely sleep, they got chest pains when his vehicle drove past, they drew the curtains early and barely left the house, even timed the bin collection for when he was away.
A few days ago and for legal reasons I shall use hypothetical terms, I hypothetically got fed up of avoiding someone who was so close to my own lifelong home and on the way to the local shops confronted the man and ended up with my hands under his jaw picking him up off his feet and assertively pinning him to his vehicle.
I didn't say anything to him, I'm usually so docile but that day I did want to take him to the hospital with at least one memory to treasure whilst I waited for him to come out.
In the end, that was all I did, when I put him down he seemed almost the size of a child to me, he apologised and asked about my parents, asked me to send his regrets and regards and kept calling me 'matey'.
The terrible thing is that regret that I accepted what he said and walked away.

Deepcrush · Post by **Deepcrush** » Sat Sep 15, 2012 6:44 pm

Sometimes, people just need to be reminded that no matter how important they pretend they are. They die just as easily as anyone else.

Granitehewer · Post by **Granitehewer** » Sat Sep 15, 2012 6:51 pm

But it feels so empty that I only did that and many people would think me monstrous for harbouring these thoughts.

Deepcrush · Post by **Deepcrush** » Sat Sep 15, 2012 7:00 pm

You should feel proud, you ended a problem and taught someone a life lesson without having to kill someone else to do it. He'll remember that even for the rest of his life. You shouldn't doubt yourself about it either, you're concerned because of your conscience telling you that violence isn't the way you want to live your life. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a peaceful person.

mwhittington · Post by **mwhittington** » Sun Sep 16, 2012 10:26 am

Sounds like "Keith" is a bully, and needed to be put in his place. Fortunately, no one was physically hurt. And your parents, thanks to your actions, can rest a little easier when "Keith" drives by. And the fact that you have those feelings but are not acting on them proves you are a peaceful individual. You may have wanted to send him to the hospital, but you didn't.

Post by **Mikey** » Sun Sep 16, 2012 2:00 pm

I'm a little confused, brother - do you regret having reacted to "Keith" the way you did, or do you regret just scaring him and not beating him like he stole something? Either way, I think you've found the happy medium; unfortunately sometimes a reminder of a potential ass-kicking is the only thing some knuckleheads understand, but he'd have gone crying to the law if you actually hurt him. As it is, you might have a case for legal action against him for trespass and threatening your folks.

Granitehewer · Post by **Granitehewer** » Sun Sep 16, 2012 3:45 pm

I regret not sending him to join Burt Lancaster and Chairman Mao to be honest.

Post by **Mikey** » Sun Sep 16, 2012 4:15 pm

Granitehewer wrote:I regret not sending him to join Burt Lancaster and Chairman Mao to be honest.

You may regret it; I applaud your restraint.

Jim · Post by **Jim** » Sun Sep 16, 2012 5:50 pm

If anyone EVER touches my mother in a threatening way... they will be lucky to be able to eat solid food again. Therefore I do not see anything wrond with what you did or what you wanted to do...

However... it sounds like this guy bases "power" on physical intimidation. That is wht he postured and yelled at your parents but didn't do anything else. He was exerting dominance. When you took it to the next step and apparently easily phsically upstaged him... he backed down and recanted. In wolf terms he ran around barking and growling at everyone and took over the pack... then yuo came in and mounted him and knocked him back down the feeding order...

RK_Striker_JK_5 · Post by **RK_Striker_JK_5** » Sun Sep 16, 2012 6:58 pm

I think you did the right thing, Granite. You have to stand up for yourself and your family. What 'Keith' was bullshit, plain and simple.

Post by **Graham Kennedy** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:50 am

Some people in life seek to find the boundaries of behavior by pushing until somebody else pushes back. If they do something and nobody stops them they assume it's okay, and then do something a little worse. They will just keep going and going, because deep down their feeling is that if nobody is stopping them then everybody must be okay with what they're doing.

You did exactly the right thing, including the restraint you showed in backing off rather than doing something that could end up with bad legal consequences for yourself. You probably won't have further trouble with him.

If he keeps trying to talk to you in a friendly way, you might quietly mention the effect his yelling had on your folks and suggest that some sort of apology is in order. I'd think it would go a very long way towards putting their minds at ease.

Post by **Tsukiyumi** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 2:06 pm

GrahamKennedy wrote:If he keeps trying to talk to you in a friendly way, you might quietly mention the effect his yelling had on your folks and suggest that some sort of apology is in order. I'd think it would go a very long way towards putting their minds at ease.

^ This, for sure. Good work, Pete; I'm unsure I would've had the same restraint in that situation.

RK_Striker_JK_5 · Post by **RK_Striker_JK_5** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:38 pm

Definitely. You handled this as best you could, it reads.

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