Titanic II

[Varthikes]

Someone on another forum posted this, so I decided to spread the misery.

Titanic II. It's real, I'm afraid to say.

I think I would have preferred the fake idea that was posted on youtube several years back.

[Mikey]

[Tsukiyumi]

Wow.

[Deepcrush]

[Mark]

Uh...do they raise the ship, only to sink it again?

[Nickswitz]

This just better be some really vengeful Tsunami equipped with fully automatic Iceberg machine guns of doom, because if you try and make anything serious out of this your are out of your mind.

[Varthikes]

Uh...do they raise the ship, only to sink it again?

No, it's a whole new ship that's identical to the first ship (probably with the same design flaws) that they sink.

[Sionnach Glic]

I recently saw it myself on the Sci-Fi channel. It was just as bad as you'd expect.

To summarise the plot, someone decides that it'd be a great idea to rebuild the Titanic. And when I say "rebuild", I mean "build a ship that's completely identical (from the outside, since they clearly couldn't afford the money for proper sets)" as the Titanic. They tout it as a truly unsinkable ship, claiming that it has all sorts of advanced "ice detectors" that will stop it from ever getting struck by anything.

So does it suffer a horribly ironic fate? This is a Sci-Fi channel movie, of course it does!

But just getting struck by an iceberg isn't awesome enough, so Titanic 2 gets struck by an iceberg travelling at 800 kilometres an hour being carried by a tsunami. Needless to say, the ship doesn't stand up to the universe holding a grudge against it, and it starts to sink. But surely they've learned the lesson from the first Titanic and packed enough life-boats, right? Well, sure, they did. The only problem is that all the lifeboats were stored below the water line and are now unusable. Great planning there, guys.

So it turns out that the super-fast tsunami iceberg was only the first round, and there's a giant super-tsunami on its way which will destroy the ship. So our heroes have to get off the ship. I can't recall exactly why, but they go to the bottom of the ship first for some reason. Then it capsizes when the uber-tsunami of doom strikes and they're trapped at the very bottom of the ship. So the two heroes decide they have to swim through the flooded sections of the ship to escape before it sinks....but they only have one oxygen tank!

The two heroes swim through, the guy drowns, and the woman is rescued by a US Coast Guard helicopter (even though they're in the middle of the Atlantic.....okay...). The one funny thing I recall noticing, however, is that there are apparently no other survivors from the ship. There was only one helicopter which saved the female protagonist, there were no lifeboats, and there were no people in the water. I guess the writers felt they had to one-up the original Titanic's death toll.

I also recall one particularly amusing scene. Our two protagonists go down to the ship's infirmary for something. While there, they find one of the nurses who has been impaled by a metal rod. They decide to treat her wound by taping a credit card over it.....while they're standing in the middle of the ship's infirmary. Yeah, great use of available resources there.

All in all, I don't think the movie was that bad. It was typical of the films you see on the Sci-Fi channel. Crappy special effects, non-sensical plot, poor to mediocre acting, numerous plot holes, and a generous helping of cheese. So if, like me, you enjoy cheesily bad movies, I'd actually suggest giving it a watch if it's on TV.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Below the water line...

This is why even if I had the sci-fi channel... I wouldn't watch it.

[Graham Kennedy]

I saw this on the sci fi channel the other week. It's every bit as awful as you would expect.

[Mikey]

I saw this on the sci fi channel the other week. It's every bit as awful as you would expect.

Worse than... Sharktopus?

[Varthikes]

A 10-year-old could probably write a better story than that.

[mwhittington]

Man, that's not even a good cheesy, like pepperoni pizza. That's like...stinky feet cheesy. That's even worse than STV.

[Graham Kennedy]

Well I haven't yet seen Sharktopus, so I must reserve judgment...

[Mark]

I just realized, we never saw a "USS Titanic" is Star Trek. I guess even those writers thought that would be a bit too much 8)