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Emergency Medical Hologram

NotesImages
TimelineQuotes
Quote Episode
EMH : 
"So it begins. The trivia of medicine is my domain now. Every runny nose, stubbed toe, pimple on a cheek becomes my responsibility."
to Kes; bemoaning his having to perform routine medical functions
VOY : Parallax
EMH : 
"Missing? The captain is missing? It seems I've found myself on a Voyage of the Damned. Very well, please advise the highest ranking officer who is not missing to see me at his earliest convenience."
to Neelix
VOY : Time and Again
EMH : 
"I'm a doctor, Mister Neelix, not a decorator."
to Neelix; the first of many
VOY : Phage
EMH : 
"A nebula? What were we doing in a nebula? No wait, don't tell me. We were 'investigating'. That's all we do around here. Why pretend we're going home at all, all we're going to do is 'investigate' every cubic millimetre of this quadrant, aren't we?"
to Torres
VOY : The Cloud
EMH : 
"There's one more request... something of a personal nature... I would like... a name."
to Kes; and he never did get one.
VOY : Eye of the Needle
EMH : 
"Mister Neelix, just because a man changes his drink order doesn't mean he's posessed by an alien."
to Neelix
VOY : Cathexis
EMH : 
"You should consider it a high complement. Throughout history men have fought over the love of a woman. Why, I can quote you autopsy reports from duels as far back as 1538."
to Kes
VOY : Parturition
EMH : 
"I don't have a life, I have a program."
VOY : Tattoo
EMH : 
"Choose the word that would best describe your pain; burning, throbbing, piercing, pinching, biting, stinging, shooting…"
to Samantha Wildman
VOY : Tattoo
Janeway : 
"Can you wake him?"
EMH : 
"I don't see why not. WAKE UP, LIEUTENANT!'"
 
on Paris
VOY : Threshold
Paris : 
"You are losing me, aren't you? I'm gonna die."
EMH : 
"You are too stubborn to die, Mr. Paris."
VOY : Threshold
Paris : 
"I lost my virginity in that room. Seventeen. Parents were away for the weekend."
EMH : 
"I'll note that in your medical file."
VOY : Threshold
EMH : 
"It's possible that Mr. Paris represents a future stage in Human development… although I can't say it's very attractive."
VOY : Threshold
EMH : 
"I'm not just working anymore, I'm living."
to Danara
VOY : Lifesigns
EMH : 
"I'm a doctor, not a performer."
VOY : Investigations
EMH : 
"I am programmed to be heroic when the need arises."
to Kim
VOY : Deadlock
EMH : 
"I'm a doctor, not a counter-insurgent."
VOY : Basics, Part 2
EMH : 
"One hologram and one sociopath may not be much of a match for the Kazon, but… we'll have to do."
to Suder
VOY : Basics, Part 2
Seska : 
"You're more talented in the art of deception than you led me to believe."
EMH : 
"I was inspired by the presence of a master."
VOY : Basics, Part 2
Seska : 
"I won't play these games with a trick of light."
EMH : 
"Sticks and stones won't break my bones, so you can imagine how I feel about being called names."
VOY : Basics, Part 2
EMH : 
"You would have been proud of him, Mr. Tuvok."
Tuvok : 
"I offer you a Vulcan prayer, Mr. Suder. May your death bring you the peace you never found in life."
VOY : Basics, Part 2
Demmas : 
"Yes, but how close would you have to get to use this device?"
EMH : 
"To be fully effective, it would have to come in direct contact with her skin."
Demmas : 
"If I could get anywhere near her, I'd use a thoron rifle to be absolutely sure."
VOY : Warlord
EMH : 
"As for the larger versions of the virus... what I have termed the macrovirus... I would suggest a flyswatter."
to Janeway
VOY : Macrocosm
Paris : 
"You created that program so you could experience what it's like to have a family. The good times and the bad. You can't have one without the other."
EMH : 
"I fail to see why not."
Paris : 
"Think about what's happened to us here aboard Voyager. Everyone left people behind, and everyone suffered a loss. But look how it's brought us all closer together. We found support here, and friendship, and we've become a family, in part because of the pain we share. If you turn your back on this program, you'll always be stuck at this point. You'll never have the chance to say goodbye to your daughter. Or to be there for your wife and son when they need you. And you'll be cheating yourself out of their love and support. In the long run, you'll miss the whole point of what it means to have a family."
VOY : Real Life
EMH : 
"Twenty ccs nitric acid – a little proverbial salt in the wound."
in Seska's altered version of Insurrection Alpha
VOY : Worst Case Scenario
EMH : 
"Welcome to sickbay. Take a number."
to Nyrian
VOY : Displaced
EMH : 
"Seven of Nine, this is The Doctor. Can you hear me? It's me, The Doctor. I've tapped into your audio implants so only you can hear me. It's imperative that you tell no one. Make any excuse to get out of there and report to holodeck two. I'm hiding in the Da Vinci simulation. I'll explain everything when you get here."
to Seven; secretly contacting Seven
VOY : Scientific Method
EMH : 
"Congratulations, commander. You're awake."
to Chakotay
VOY : Waking Moments
EMH : 
"I'm a doctor, not a commando!"
to EMH Mark 2
VOY : Message in a Bottle
EMH : 
"I have even had sexual relations."
EMH Mark 2 : 
"Sex, how's that possible? We're not equipped…"
EMH : 
"Let's just say I made an addition to my program."
VOY : Message in a Bottle
EMH Mark 2 : 
"The secondary gyrodyne relays in the propulsion field inter-matrix have depolarized."
EMH : 
"In English!"
EMH Mark 2 : 
"I'm just reading what it says here!"
VOY : Message in a Bottle
EMH : 
"Our viewscreen is non-operational. We've had some trouble with... Starfleet commandos..."
to Romulan ship; pretending to be a Romulan
VOY : Message in a Bottle
EMH : 
"Another one."
Seven : 
"I beg your pardon?"
EMH : 
"I've retrieved another word of text. That makes six."
Seven : 
"Six words in fifty-eight hours?"
VOY : Hunters
Seven : 
"I do not feel perfect."
EMH : 
"What do you mean?"
Seven : 
"I am preoccupied by Kovin's death."
EMH : 
"Join the club. It's all I can think about."
Seven : 
"As a Borg, I was responsible for the destruction of countless millions and I felt nothing, but now I regret the destruction of this single being."
EMH : 
"It's called remorse, Seven. It comes into play when you make a mistake, and you feel guilt about what you've done. Another new emotion for you to experience."
Seven : 
"I do not enjoy this remorse any more than I enjoyed anger. Will the feeling subside?"
EMH : 
"Yes. But not quickly."
Seven : 
"I would rather not have to wait."
EMH : 
"I'm afraid you don't have much choice." [Pauses as he watches Seven leave] "But maybe I do."
VOY : Retrospect
EMH : 
"When I started helping you improve your social skills, I'm fairly certain I didn't include a boxing lesson."
to Seven
VOY : Retrospect
EMH : 
"We've got to stop meeting like this."
to Kim; after Kim activates the EMH in the mess hall
VOY : The Killing Game, Part 1
Neelix : 
"Pardon me gentlemen, I wonder if I might have a word with you."
EMH : 
"They're Klingons, not kittens."
VOY : The Killing Game, Part 2
Paris : 
"Ow! Ow! What do you think you're doing, doc?"
EMH : 
"An impromptu auditory exam."
Paris : 
"Did I pass?"
EMH : 
"With flying colors, which leads me to believe you did hear me when I requested you meet me this morning."
VOY : Vis-a-Vis
EMH : 
"Pure fiction. This is absurd."
Quarren : 
"Halt re-creation. This is a reasonable extrapolation from historic record. But if you'd like to point out any inconsistencies..."
EMH : 
"Inconsistencies? I don't know where to begin. Granted, this looks like the briefing room, but these aren't the people I knew! No one behaved like this... well, aside from Mr. Paris."
 
about the holographic simulation
VOY : Living Witness
EMH : 
"Somewhere... halfway across the galaxy, I hope... Captain Janeway is spinning in her grave."
to Quarren; concerning more inconsistencies in the simulation
VOY : Living Witness
EMH : 
"You've portrayed us as monsters: the captain is a cold-blooded killer, the crew is a gang of thugs and I am a mass-murderer."
VOY : Living Witness
EMH : 
"For your information, I don't appreciate being deactivated in the middle of a sentence. It brings back... unpleasant memories."
VOY : Living Witness
Quarren : 
"You miss them, don't you?"
EMH : 
"From my perspective, I saw them all only a few days ago. But in fact, it's been centuries. And I'll never see them again. Did they ever reach home? I wonder."
VOY : Living Witness
EMH : 
"Between impulse and action, there is a realm of good taste begging for your acquaintance!"
to Seven
VOY : One
One : 
"Joke, a verbal comment or gesture designed to provoke laughter."
EMH : 
"I see you've got your mothers sense of humour."
VOY : Drone
EMH : 
"I'm a Doctor, not a battery!"
on the suggestion that his mobile emitter may be used as a power source
VOY : Gravity
the EMH : 
"I'm a doctor, not a dragonslayer!"
on fighting the monster
VOY : Bliss
EMH : 
"It's quite disconcerting to know that all someone has to do is flick a switch to turn me into Mr. Hyde"
to Seven of Nine; on his behaviour onboard the Equinox
VOY : Equinox, Part 2
EMH : 
"Tuvok, I understand, You are a Vulcan man, You have just gone without, For seven years, about.
Paris, please find a way, To load a hypospray, I will give you the sign, Just aim for his behind
Hormones are raging, Synapses blazing, It's all so veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrry illogical!"
singing to the tune of La donna è mobile.
VOY : Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy
the EMH : 
"The Vulcan brain; a puzzle wrapped inside an enigma housed inside a cranium."
on Tuvok
VOY : Riddles
The EMH : 
"Welcome to Sickbay. How may I help you today?"
His new greeting
VOY : Life Line
EMH : 
"When did it become a crime to enjoy a sensation or two? Of course, you'd be the last person to understand that."
to Seven of Nine
VOY : Body and Soul
EMH : 
"Is there anything in your spiritual programming about making peace with your enemies?"
Iden : 
"It's difficult to make peace with people whose sole purpose is to kill you."
VOY : Flesh and Blood
Icheb : 
"I'm detecting another lifesign!"
EMH : 
"Where?"
Icheb : 
"Inside Lieutenant Torres. It could be a parasite."
VOY : Lineage
EMH : 
"I'd never admit this to anyone else, but there was a time when I would have given anything to be flesh and blood. But I've come to realize that being a hologram is far superior."
the pride before the fall
VOY : Renaissance Man

Colour key

Canon source Backstage source Novel source DITL speculation


© Graham & Ian Kennedy Page views : 20,983 Last updated : 2 Apr 2014