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Listen, Ben, could you hurry this along? Between this wind and the humidity I'll never get the frizz out of my hair by my next incarnation.
Don't call me tiny.
Ben: ''Congratulations for winning the Bikini Pageant!''
Jennifer: ''Well, the only other contestant was Morn.''
Jennifer: "God, I HATE fan fiction."
Sisko: "God, I LOVE fan fiction."
Ben: ''I like big butts and I cannot lie...''
Jennifer: ''If that where true, you would have married a Pakled instead of me.''
I've just found it hard to rag on this guy who was widowed.
Ben: ''I am too sexy for this shirt!''
Jennifer: ''Everyone would be too sexy for this particular shirt!''
Sisko had the perfect defence against the Borg; they would never assimilate a culture with this kind af fashion sense.
Ben: ''We should better put some distance between us and the cliffs behind us - I have seen a sunbathing Gorn family over there...''
What happens in Ben's wormhole vision stays in Ben's wormhole vision!
Sisko: ''If she turns out to actually be a Changeling, I will ask her if she can make her boobs bigger.''
At this moment, the Bajoran Orbs are not the orbs that Sisko is interested in.
Jennifer: My eyes are up here soldier.
Sisko: I've made my choice and my eyes are staying put.
UQ5e9n Fantastic blog post. Keep writing.
Spring Break 2360
Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" plays
Ben: "I think of you more often than it rains on Ferenginar. You draw me more than if I was at the center of an active galactic nucleus and you brighten my day like twin stars in a binary system."
Ben: ''You don't have to be afraid of my Dad, he is a really nice person!''
Jennifer: ''Really? He looks like the traitorous Admiral Cartwright, Ben!''
Ben: ''What you are about to see is a holo-recreation of how you were conceived.''
Jake: ''AAAARGH! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!''
Ben: ''Wow... It's awesome here on Risa!''
Jennifer: ''And YOU seriously wanted to go skiing on Andoria instead!''
Ben: ''A real man knows when to take back everything he has said!''
BEN: And what exotic planet do you come from?
JENN: Earth.
BEN: Earth? Never hear of it. That some far off world beyond the Rigelian Cluster?
JENN: You're standing on it, weirdo.
Sisko: "Have I ever mentioned...
.
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung?"
Jennifer: "...um, no. I don't think you ever mentioned that."
Unfortunately for Sisko, he's had worse dates than meeting up with his deseased wife.
Telekinesis: in the future, it replaces figuratively undressing someone with your eyes.
BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH
(Benjamin misses his deceased wife)
I'd gladly lose me to find you
I'd gladly give up all I had
To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad
I'd pay any price just to get you
I'd work all my life and I will
To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed
I'd call that a bargain
The best I ever had
The best I ever had
...
Bargain lyrics by The Who
''Hey, you are looking exactly like my dead wife!'
''Worst pick-up line ever!''
First Contact!
"I know you've been dead for years now, but this is a sci-fi, so I need to pretend that never happened, and I never got over it, I never moved on years ago, so now I need a revealing character-exposé arc before I can go on like this never happened in the next episode."
Sisko: ''I see dead wives!''
It was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny aqua and white lace bikini
That she wore for the first time today.
Day of the Love
Sisko: ""Very funny, Odo, impersonating my dead wife."
Q: "I'm not Odo."
Sisko: "Uh-oh."
Q: "And you've been a very naughty species."
Sisko: *ulp*
"Please don't really be Odo. Please don't really be Odo..."
No wonder he was so pissed off with Picard.
"Humans experience what we call 'emotions'. You can try it if you like. For example, if you put your hand down my pants, then I bet you'll feel nuts."
"We are extra-dimensional life forms who have existed since the beginning of time, Commander. We're not thick."
"Damn." *clicks finger in frustration*
"Did I mention that thing humans call sex?"
Jeniffer: ''I got this bikini from an online shop. I ordered a skin-colored one - but I didn't notice the small print saying 'Andorian'.''
Jennifer Dax: All of Sisko's dreams have come true.
The bikini: Even 24th century technology can't improve it!
Not all species keep...Oh.. these do.
Fortunately, after execs watched the pilot for Star Trek, Malibu, which would tell the tales of Starfleet lifeguards, they opted to produce DS9 instead.
Something, something, orb of something.
Sisko: ''I kind of like this new Starfleet uniforms...''
Yeah I know, it does not look like that, but I am the commander of a space station and the Chosen One of an alien prophecy... and I like purple
In other news, Starfleet Security are looking for an alien who steals parts of uniforms. It is described as badly dressed.
Costume Malfunction ... IN SPAAAAAACE!
Just me or does sisko look like hes advertising the premier inn?
dam thak klingon who cut off the sleves, necks and legs of our outfits
Is that a Phaser in your pants ? Or are you glad to see me ?
"Hey, baby. Come to Butthead!"
Women like men in uniform whereas men are fine with women that have no uniforms on.
Casual Friday: In the future it rocks
"I really needed this vacation. Everyone at work is either grumpy, angry, or has a chip on their shoulder. Kira, Worf, O'Brien, Odo..."
Sisko: "Has anyone told you how beautiful your eyes are?"
Wormhole Jennifer blushing: "I bet you say that to all the wormhole aliens."
Ben: "Well, truth be told, I was young and needed the money."
Life's a beach.
In the mid-24th century, women's swimwear fashion will resemble that of the late-20th century.
J C Penny's line of "Wesley Crusher" inspired men's swimwear proved to be yet another financial failure for the former retail clothing chain.
Sisko: "So are you from the planet Bikini?"
Sisko: "Look Jennifer, I'm telling you, that water was cold!"
Ben: You look beautiful Jennifer , I wish this day would never end.
Jennifer : Thank you , you look wonderful yourself. Let's get together later for dinner and dancing.
Jennifer , talking in her head , He's in for a big surprise when he finds out its me Odo !!!! What a practical joke!!!! Heee Heee !!!
Ben ! You keep starring at my breast any longer and I'll toss you in the ocean.
Jeniffer: ''Our son wants to become a poet. Do you think he will be successful with that?''
Ben: ''Ha, no! That would be as likely as me becoming some aliens' messiah!''
Cisko: What do you mean the Kerbals have a space program???
"Captain Cisko, that bathing suit really brings out your feminine side."
"Why, thank yo- wait, what?"
The basic design of the bikini has not changed in centuries. On the other hand, as long as nobody is complaining ...
Wormhole-Jeniffer: ''The Sisko is from Baj- hey, are you even listening?''
Sisko: ''Sorry, did get a bit distracted here.''
Jennifer: "When was the last time you took a lady for a walk on a beach?"
Sisko: "Yesterday. Or did you mean not counting holodeck women?"
Odo: "Last time I bet against you during senior staff poker night."
Sisko: "You're so... feminine."
Jennifer: "You've been hanging around Kira Nerys for too long."
Blind dates in the future are AWESOME!!!
Felecia Bell suspects Avery Brooks is intentionally prolonging the scene after he 'forgets his lines' again for the 20th time.
I spy three cups
FOCUS:
If you stare at this photo long enough, you will see Benjamin Sisko.
Jennifer learns that the Starship Sisko is a dreadnought. (Why, yes, that is a third nacelle.)
(My second TripHammered reference on this site.)
Sisko: ...so I'm the emissary of an ENTIRE planet to their Prophets... Wanna come back to my room?
Interesting Fact: They are both wearing swimsuits from the 20th century.
Jennifer from the late 20th century.
Sisko from early 20th century... VERY early.
NO! I am NOT going skinny dipping with YOU!
Man up. If it was Bruce Willis beside me, he'd be down to his shorts already.
"Ursula Andress had a big knife when SHE walked up the beach. All I get is a big tool."
Yeah, I was rejected by Baywatch too.
"I'm an Alien?" That's the best pick-up line you could come up with?
Amazingly swimsuit technology has not changed in 200 years.
My eyes are UP HERE, buddy.
Have we learned nothing from the "male swimmers speedos embarrassment syndrome"?
Here we see a painful mis-step in the evolution of the "monokini" for men.
Y'wanna see my scar?
Y'wanna get a new one?
Wanna see my scar?
The anticipation of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue petered out after it started featuring dudes.
He thinks: Such natural BEAUTY... I wonder what she is thinking.
She thinks: Suck in that stomach, tighten buttocks, tilt pelvis back, head up & make that neck look long, shoulders straight back & pulled down, don't forget to smile, STEP and repeat...
"No, the bikini looks hideous... take it off right now!"
Jennifer and Ben
walk along a scenic beach;
Jake is the result.
"Benjamin, take me now!"
"Take you where?"
"MEN!"
Interesting left hand placement.
No really! This isn't remotely creepy!
Both: "The costume designer has to die."
You know the difference between us? I make this look good!
Sisko shows off his lunchbox, it worked for Linford Christie after all.
Sisko shows off his luncbox, it worked for Linford Christie after all.
Is that a lunchbox in your shorts or are you pleased to see me?
Jennifer: "These new uniforms suck."
Sisko: "Oh, I dunno ..."
Does my bum look big in this?
Sisko: Who wears short shorts? I WEAR SHORT SHORTS!
Jennifer: Do you use this line on every girl you meet?
Sisko: Never before and never ever again...
Sisko (to self): "Suck in your gut... Suck in your gut... Suck I your gut..."
Sisko: ''Would it count as cheating if I make out with Wormhole-Jennifer?''
Oh, Benjamin! You'll be the death of me!

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 1,385 Last updated : 30 Nov -0001