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Ever wonder what's the difference between an "International Man of Mystery" and a hockey player?
Malcolm: Malcolm thinks he has seen the future Mrs. Malcolm.
Illeism… in space talk.
Malcolm: I don’t know… When people speak to me like that it kinda makes me feels like they see me as having a life brimming with purpose.
Trip: He called you a “douchebag”!
Malcolm: You know what’s like when you’re at a funeral...
and you burst out laughing...
and you try to cover it by acting like you’re CRYING real hard...
and then people keep coming up to you later to see if you’re OK?
Trip: I’ve gotten some of my best dates that way!
Trip: You know what’s like when you’re at a funeral...
and you burst out laughing...
and you try to cover it by acting like you’re CRYING real hard...
and then people keep coming up to you later to see if you’re OK?
Malcolm: Noooo…?
Little known fact: Trip used to play hockey.
"Cheer up, we're going to be in this caption competition for a whole month!"
"Yeah, but have you seen what they've said about your shirt?"
"With this haircut & open mouth expression, do you think I look like a young Arnold Schwarzenegger?"
"Only if the lights are off."
Trip: ''Did you hear, Malcolm? The Kreetassans have declared war on us. Because they felt deeply offended by my shirt!''
In the 22nd century, Starfleet learned the hard way that mocking the aliens in a first contact situation is not exactly the best course of action...
Malcolm and Trip, two seconds before getting beaten up by the Klingon they are mocking with chicken noises.
Malcolm: I don’t know… When people speak to me that way it makes me feels like they see me as having a life brimming with of purpose.
Trip: He called you a “douchebag”!
Trip: O, that fox bar was really something.
Reed: Here is a thing I will tell you: that two swinging foxes have the hots-on for us, and are coming here tonight to let us hold on to their big American breasts!
T: Why not? There's nothing preventing them. After all, there is no other pair of Czech brothers who cruise and swing so successfully in tight slacks.
A Night on Alpha Roxbury VIII
The universal fan reaction to the new Star Trek: Beyond trailer needs no translation.
Star Trek: Frat Boys never really took off...
Trip: ''Vulcans versus Andorians versus Tellarites... You guys are always so angry at each other! You know what? Try out some chewing gum! Helps you to chill down a little bit.''
"This is it. We're going to be big. We're going to be in Star Wars."
"You sure that's what they said?"
"Yup. Now c'mon. Let's go get famous."
That alien said that humans have very strange tongues. Cue Malcolm and Trip thoughtfully moving their tongues around in their mouths for the rest of the day.
When Seven of Nine walks in
Action requires knloeedgw, and now I can act!
All of these articles have saved me a lot of hecsaahed.
I hate my life but at least this makes it bebeaalr.
Wow, this is in every recepst what I needed to know.
You saved me a lot of haslse just now.
There are no words to describe how boiocdaus this is.
Smart thinnikg - a clever way of looking at it.
Reed- Trip, You have truly lost your mind.
Trip- What makes you say that?
Reed- You are wearing a green pukka dotted bikini, with a ball cap, with black combat boots, and a pink too tutu.
Paris: "Malcolm! Malcolm!! HAVE YOU SEEN IT?! HAVE YOU SEEN IT?!
Reed: "Seen what?"
A major story arc of the never made season 5 of Enterprise was supposed to be about Trip and Malcolm leaving Starfleet and founding a barbershop duet.
Trip: ''How do you like Malcolm's Don Corleone impression?''
Malcolm: ''I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse...''
Argelian, like Chinese, is a language where the tone is vital. Here we see the important distinction between nor'al (water), no'ral (burn your cloaca hot sauce), and nora'l (randy lizard aphrodisiac).
Trip and Malcolm encounter their first Orion Slave Girl. I think they approve.
Trip: ''We should have done some research upon having been invited to a Betazoid wedding, Malcolm. We are CLEARLY too overdressed!''
Trip: Mmm, everyone loves the smell of their own brand, right, Reed?
Reed: Oh, GOD, something crawled up you and DIED!
Star Trek: A Night at Roxbury Prime.
Trip Bigolo: Galactic Gigolo
Trip: ''Malcolm can imitate your pufferfish trick pretty well, eh Phlox?''
Trip: ''Check out Malcolm Reed, the human beatbox!''
Trip made extra money on the side selling tickets to watch T'Pol in the Decontamination Chamber.
It will be ok Malcom, the 0-G simulator casuses that in everyone. You all may want to step back.
Trip: ''I didn't know that Hoshi is so limber!''
"...just two wiiiiild and craaaazy guys!"
Predictably, Trip and Reed's trout impressions failed to impress the ladies.
Malcolm: ''The shuttle ride to here made me nauseous...''
Trip: ''And now I know that you don't look half as attractive with a green face as this hot Orion female over there.''
Trip: I'd like to handle that Klingon woman.
Reed: I think she'd like to handle the same time.
Told you T'Pol has an awfully nice bum!
JESUS CHRIST !!! Trip !!!! What the hell did you eat ??? I think I'm going to throw up .
Trip: ''THAT'S a Talaxian? The colors of his clothes are terrible!''
Look at Rubio's SHOES!
As IF!
What happens in New New Vegas...well its all over the Net by morning.
A two day Risan vacation
Perpetrating crimes of fashion
Villainous shape shifter
Takes all but the underwear
And that's what they call recreation
Malcolm: “You know, you don’t have to act with me, Trip. You don’t have to say anything, and you don’t have to do anything. Not a thing. Oh, maybe just whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you, Trip? You just put your lips together and… blow.”
This is what happens when you complain about the wardrobe department.
The hyp-nahh-tic effect...
of those large
animal ex er cise wheels...
One does not simply eat a Risian Sour Ball...
Playing cloaked harmonicas...IN SPAAAAACCCCE!
Trip: "Hey, YO! How you doin'? You dere in dat fine chiffon tang. Yeah, you! Come on over here and say hi to me and my friend. He wants to meet ya."
Malcolm: "Kill me... Now!"
A still from the upcoming "Leisure Suit Larry In The Land Of The Lounge Lizards" movie.
Seriously? Is he going for a "Bond movie badass villain look" in that Nehru jacket?
Crimes of Fashion... IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!
Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of China White Heroin burst?
Unfortunately, you'll be hanging out with a dude in an ugly friggin' purple shirt.
Intestinal Distress... IN SPAAAAAAACE!
What they see must be awesome, because even the hair on the guy behind them is getting blown away.
Whatever the guy on the right is looking at is making his hair stand on end.
Rowen & Martin’s Laugh-in reboot, IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!
Enterprise CIS, a failed "Police procedural" spinoff.
Lenney & Squiggy, a failed Laverne & Shirley spinoff.
Craggy & Spacey, failed "buddy cop" spinoff.
Trip: "I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?"
Malcolm: "No, I will NOT do the Fandango... But I WILL stone you and spit in your eye. And I will DEFINITELY let you go."
What is love? Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more...
Trip: ''I never saw myself as a furry - but those Caitians in swimsuits force me to reconsider this position...''
Simon Cowell: "Your act is appalling and your fashion sense is even worse than mine ... So that's four yes'es and you're through to boot camp!"
I gotta tell you... There has to be some really proud parents out there.
Which one is the ventriloquist and which one is the dummy?
Malcolm (to self): "Dear God... when will this end???"
"And now, I'll drink a glass of water while my little buddy sings the alphabet!"
T'Pol: ''Do I look fat in this new cat suit?''
Trip & Malcolm: ''Huh... Well... Uhh...''
Gary: Wyatt! This is so cool! Lisa's transformed everyone into Star Trek! And she looks sooo hot now with those pointy ears!
Wyatt: Gary, that's actually Chet you're drooling over.
Malcolm: "WOW, Trip... I haven't been this drunk in YEARS!"
Trip: "...and NOBODY has worn a shirt like THIS since 1983!"
FYI: All you guys look this suave when you be ogling da foxes.
Wow! You really CAN have bad teeth and be an "International Man of Mystery".
Before "Saturday Night Fever" there was "Saturday Evening, barely registering a pulse"
Malcolm: "Dear God! Look at that one! How does she fit herself into that outfit! Hey Trip... Pick your tongue up off the floor!"
Before "Saturday Night Fever" there was "Saturday Evening, barely registering a pulse"
STAR TREK: The Wind Tunnel Generation.
Get OVER yourself ...On EARRRRRRRRRTH!
Get OVER yourself!
"Have you seen what Frankie Chestnuts and PegasusJF have written about us?"
Star Trek VII - The Fart Awakens
Leisure Suit Trip
Reed: Shouldn't we break that up?
Trip: Nooooooo, no no no, the first thing you should never do is mess with Vulcans suffering from Pon Farr...
Reed: Shouldn't we break that up?
Trip:,no,no, I have learned you do not mess with Phlox's wives.
Offscreen: Klingon Dinner Theater
Offscreen a bizarre twist of the space-time continuum is showing a rather ugly male with huge ears and a turkey shaped head getting the living snot kicked out of him by a scary humanoid woman wiht ornate ear jewlery and a ridged nose.
There is still more work yet to do before proper 'first contact' are established.
Reed: Man, who would have thought...Vulcan Rockettes.
Trip: Even with no smiling, they look just fine to me.
Offscreen: Borg "Rockettes" dancing on stage.
Offscreen: Thorian "Rockettes" dancing on stage.
Offscreen: Klingon "Rockettes" dancing on stage.
A caption comp one-winner NOW HAS TWO!!! :D
Trip: Wow, PegasusJF is really feastive after his Caption Comp win.
Reed: I think he's going overboard, I mean it's just a caption competition.
Seeing Trip here makes one think of T'Pol, seeing the obvious party setting makes one thinks of New Years, seeing the two together and what happens on New Years makes one think that nothing more should be said.
Trip: So that's how Vulcans react to alcohol...
Two more victims of Phlox's Denobulan Fire Chili.
Two guys walk into a bar...I'm sorry that's all I got.
These guys aren't the "Fashion Police". They're more like the "Corrupt Cops d'Couture."
Seconds after they read the script for "These Are The Voyages...", Conner finds out he dies at the end of the series... and Dominic realizes that he won't.
Malcolm: "Well Trip, let's get this mission over with and get back to the sh-...HOLY CRAP!! WAS THAT YOU?? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EAT??"
Trip: Don't fancy yours much.
Malcolm: "Uh Oh... IBS!"
Trip: "You be WHAT??"
Trip: "So I'm your "wing man", right... How do we do this? Just walk right up to the girls?"
Reed: "Jeez... With that shirt and jacket... I think I'd be better off with Harry!."


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 19,149 Release date : 1 Feb 2016