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They looked on aghast as they found out what Neelix & Tuvok did next ...
This is a sad alternate timeline, in which there were never any lolcat videos with which to de-stress.
Two hotties watching "The Good, the Sad, and the Smugly".
Archer: Hello, my name is...
Hoshi, to self: I HATE it when he does his Inigo Montoya imitation.
All are quiet for the announcement of last month's Caption Competition winner.
They all looked enviously at the sneak preview of the picture for next month's caption competition ... it was WAY better than then one they were in!
Archer: "I don't know, these new Starfleet uniforms are looking rather Spartanic. What's next? Simple shirts in primary colors? Or one-piece pajamas??"
After a jolly hard day, Endi Blyton's Famous Five head home for cream tea and lashings of ginger beer!
(all sing)
"We coulda been anything that we wanted to be,
Yes, that decision was ours,
It's been decided we're weaker divided,
Let friendship double up our powers."
Archer: We come in peace ... shoot to kill men!
Shatner (off screen): Hey! That's my line!
Add Patrick Stewart and we can film another X-Men sequel.
Archer: "You wonder what Hoshi is smirking about? My uniform has no backside."
Someone is looking over Archer's shoulder
Archer: "It's not what it looks like, I swear!"
Jonathan Archer in:
3 Shades of Grey (And 1 Shade Of Brown)
Archer: "Sorry, Admiral. Me and my crew practiced this Irish dance routine for a whole month, now now you are gonna watch it, dammit!"
Arhcer:"I'm sorry Mr President I've surrendered Earth."
Archer: "I am Jonathan Archer... Captain of the Starship Enterprise... Adore Me!"
Bu'Kah: "Can I kick his ass, or should we draw straws?"
Hoshi: “How can I have the SECOND-smallest breasts in this scene... God, how I hate that Malcolm.“
Archer, feeling inadequate...
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy entry on Earth (post Archer): Utterly Harmless
Second star to the right & straight on till morning
Every Thursday evening... it’s the weekly lottery for choosing who gets to whip Archer’s ass.
And every Thursday evening… it’s standing-room-only.
Hoshi: "There is a Klingon sitting in your captain's chair."
Archer: "I know, but I don't want to piss her off...."
Klingons don't pursue relationships they conquer that wich they desire.(Archer should learn how to fight)
Your first mistake, Dr. Soong, was letting the Klingons in on your experiments.
Sato: "Captain... What is it? "
Archer: "It's the Olympics."
Sato: "But what IS it?"
Archer: "Curling."
Sato: "Why can't I stop watching it?"
Archer: "I really don' t know..."
Archer: "It's Casual Friday AND Bring Your Klingon To Work Day!"
Profound Boredom...IN SPAAAACCCCCEEEE!!!
Sometimes Orwell's Big Brother let his little brothers and sisters and the weird kid down the hall do the watching.
In Soviet Russia the TV Stars watch YOU!
The wait is always somber for Phlox's Denobulan Soul Crusher parasite treatment.
Archer's Judas Priest cover band failed to win many fans.
The shipwide broadcast of "Archer's Jazzercise with Klingon Chair Yoga" did not receive the ratings for which he had hoped.
We're all individuals!
Those Starfleet uniform designs keep getting weirder and weirder...
A moody, dark, Starfleet/Klingon plotline. This'll never catch on...
Malcolm is NOT in the middle
Turns out, Archer was the only one who is NOT too sexy for his shirt...
This Camelot is a decidedly unsilly place
We could clean up and turn this episode into a Tide add.
After the cancellation of Enterprised, the spin-off Adventures of Archer and the A-Team didn't quite take off.
Presenting Starfleet's entry to the Eurovision Song Contest
Archer gets four NO's from the X Factor judges.
Hoshi: They are saying that they have "come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... And they seem to be "all out of bubblegum.”
Archer: I’m out of gum, too. Would a breath mint help?
Hoshi: That’s not what they mean...
"One of us... one of us..."
Archer discovers that the Wesley Crusher Fan Club is a sinister plot by Klingon extremists.
Archer didn't get the memo about dress down Friday.
"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! So, woman with a big forehead, do you confess the sin of heresy, of asking for a transfer to a different franchise?"
"Mwah ha ha ha! SIT her in the comfy chair! POKE her with the soft cushions!"
"Can I have a cup of tea?"
"Oooo less of the old you cheeky young whippersnapper."
"Okay, I know it looks bad but I can explain ... honestly I can."
Archer: "This is... just an innocent little pajama party we are having here! Honest!"
Archer: "For this Klingon to appear in 'Discovery', she must first lose all her hair. Mr. Mot? Do your duty, while we four will restrain her."
The Rocky Horror Picture Show... IN SPACE!
Those fine thighs are a tip off that the Klingon is being played by Tim Curry.
It's a sad day when the most masculine being in the bunch is a female Klingon.
Star Trek: Statues
Glass plate photography had a unexpected boom in the late 22nd century.
Archer: Actually, we had meant to swipe left....
Hoshi, to self: I wish I got to wear the hot, thigh-high boots…
Malcolm, to self: I wish I got to wear the hot, thigh-high boots… and the leather… and a more flattering neckline...
Shut up, don't judge me. Maybe YOU should try expanding your experience a little.
I've been involved in situations like this before, but the one wearing all the leather had a paddle and a hairbrush.
"Yes, everyone else with me is wearing either head-to-toe leather or pajamas, why do you ask?"
Look my liege - Camelot!
It's only a model.
Ssh. Let us ride to Camelot!
After the Fantastic Four, we now present the Fantastic Five. From left to right :
Miss Sato, a Hypochondriac who uses her linguistic talent to whine in fifty languages.
Mr. Archer, guaranteed to get his ass kicked by anyone and anything he fights.
Some alien, who's special power is to have a forehead.
Miss T'Pol, the worlds first all-silicon life-form.
Mr. Reed, who is British, very British!
Archer: "Hello! We are 'Archer and the Holograms', and we'll now perform with a medley of our greatest hits! Enjoy!"
Enterprise to Discovery, this is a Klingon...
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A(rcher) Team!
Enterprise: We'll Pick You Up...but, you might not like it.
Archer: Yes I know this outfit makes my ass look big, so everyone just stop snickering and rolling your eyes.
Archer: "Before anyone calls me sexist because I ordered my female crew members to strip down to their underwear, let me point out that I ordered Lt. Reed to do the same thing!"
So. Did you bring the stuff?
Finally actual evidence of Human and Klingon collusion.
This image fails to show the phaser in Hoshi's right hand, only seconds before she shot ARcher in the back.
That look just screams "Oh captain, my captain." Archer's look says "Not now, Malcolm".
Something is wrong when the Klingon looks the least like a fetish model.
Everything is awesome!
Everything is cool when you're part of a team!
Everything is awesome!
Everything is cool when you're living the dream!
Enid Blyton's Famous Five ... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAACCCCE!
"Yeah, we couldn't get the budget of Ocean's Eleven so you'll have to make do with Archer's Five."
Despite their best efforts, some Captioneers could just not get a laugh out of their peers last month.
Mirror-Archer always travels with three concubines and a eunuch.
Archer: It’s NOT JUST YOU. We’re ALL getting cancelled…
Hoshi: What?!?!
Trip: “I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.”
Everybody wished Trip wouldn’t drink so much.
Linda Park (to self): "What the hell am I doing here? CHRIST... This is a career ending series...
Maybe I could have a tête-à-tête with "The Donald". THAT could jump start my career. Yeah, that's the ticket..."
♫ "One of these things is not like the other"♪
... Actually more than one,
... Actually, there are a couple that are mostly the same,
... Never mind. Most are different. Mostly Malcom... He's more different than all the others.
"In 2151, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These folks promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Federation underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... the Enterprise-Team."
The Enterprise's first strip poker tournament with the Tellerites wasn't going as well as hoped.


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 36,457 Release date : 1 Mar 2018