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Rodney King... Just before "The Incident".
I look forward to a Sunday morning when I can loll in bed and start the week off with a new Caption Competition.
I look forward to a Sunday morning when I can loll in bed with Frankie Chestnuts and start the week off with a new Caption Competition.
"We're not worthy...We're not worthy!"
The be-sparkled cult of "My Little Pony" continues, and is obviously more accepted, in the future.
Imagine his horror... Tripping on the stage on his way to accept his "Most Authentic Hammer Costume" award.
The late Dr. Phlox's Soul Crusher parasite effaciousness was without peer, but over 200 years of research did little to stop the paralysis and mind blowing pain.
Offscreen: "Are you feeling restless, achy, listless, useless? Gird your loins, and try the Denobulan Soul Crusher Parasite treatment, by Dr. Phlox
Hagon: I was a nobody, and then I took this treatment, I became a first one! Remember I am not only the spokesperson, I am also a patient.
Picard: ''Are you from a low gravity world?''
Hagon: ''No, I am from a low ceiling world.''
He was voted the best costume in the school, but really blew it on the Halloween awards ceremony.
This explains McCoy's expression in the caption competition last month!
"I can see your haemorrhoids from here!"
Tasha: "Will you get up!! It wasn't even a bee!"
Tasha: "We now consecrate the bond of obedience...
Assume the position."
Hagon: "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Hagon: "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Bitch Slapped...
"See, this new camouflage lame uniform blends right in with these mats!"
Red Dwarf's Cat is surprised to find himself in a different franchise.
Needless to say, this Lamé Metal cover of “Thriller” was NOT a hit.
It was raining men when he splashed down.
For civilians, the order ''all hands on deck'' is easy to misunderstand.
Djinni, AC 4 HD 7+3 Alignment CG
Your average Captioneer, so spent by anxious waiting for the final vote tally and wracking his brain for funny quips that they can only crawl by the end.
Lower decks - lower ceilings!
Ummm.... The Founder is wise in all things?
Crawling around in Jefferies tubes for too long will result in permanent damage to your posture.
Picard: ''What are you doing down there?''
Hagon: ''Ensign Ro has lost her earring somewhere on the Enterprise, and I am helping her looking for it.''
Not to worry, my overtly flamboyant dress uniform will distract them. They'll never see me coming!
That's low, even for you.
I told you, there is such a thing a skirt length regulation enforcement officer! And who's Tom? What's a peeping?
"Excuse me sir, I haveve misplaced my contacts. Would you care to help me find them?"
On some worlds, early life evolved flamboyanty from the primordial soup.
Noooo… I’m NOT looking up your skirt… Why do you ask?
It was raining men.
Ligon II has a strange law known only by it's name, the Sacred Lowered Seat.
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy entry on Ligon II Marriage Law: Till Death, but strangely, several institutions exist that possess many toilets on which they use many forensic tools.
Yareena: You have left the seat up for the last time!
Help me! I lost my contact lens!
Grovel MORE!
The reason for McCoy's expression in last month's caption competition is revealed!
Hagon: ''Damn, the ceiling on this ship of the Dwarfilians sure is low!''
Hagon: ''Woah! It must be raining on Qo'noS - the Klingon Birds of Prey are flying rather low today!''
EfVFCZ Thank you for your post.Much thanks again. Fantastic.
Hagon: ''That... was no synthehol...''
The djinn is defeated, and thus Q has proven once and for all that his omnipotence is more powerful than that of some silly lamp ghost.
Dance with : Nice Ice Baby
There are Seven -hold on, four! No, no... I can definitely get a better look from here. Six. SIX!!! No, THREE lights, right? Wait, give me one more try!
Spider-Man, Spider-Man...
...And almost immediately Kirk regreted having the gigantic slip n' slide installed in dry dock.
Come on, you've got feel this floor, man. It's like silk... FOR YOUR FEET!
"Hip hop making a come back in the 23rd century? I'm DOWN with that."
Ligonian NullPointerException
Monthly Caption Competitions are rather cruel because they have captioneers literally throwing themselves on the ground in anticipation.
You know what the difference between you and me is? I make this look good.
Don't you just hate it when someone turns the artificial gravity up.
We all want to win a caption competition, but some, as the gentleman above, intently lobbied potential voters.
When trying to make long entries, some became quite insistent to have more space to work with.
Hitchhikers Guide entry on Ancient Ligonian Greetings: "Ligonians required people to fall flat on the ground (as pictured). Many chronic injuries followed, so much that chiropractors rose to great wealth and power. When they were overthrown, chiropracty was banned. However, a proviso to the treaty had Federation chiropractors come to Ligon II to deal with the aftermath of domestic disputes"
Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy Entry on Ancient Ligonian Greetings: "In the past two centuries the mandated greeting between persons of different rank. They were mandated to fall flat on the stomach and look up with utter devotion. This lead to wealthy chiropractors and thier rule. The Great Vertebrae Protest stopped this. Today the practice of chiropracty by native Ligonian's is banned.
Ligon II's redshirt equivalent.
Dancing with the Stars epic fail.
Hagon: I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny. That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist. And a round thing in your SMACK!!!!
When the Bird of Prey came at us it looked like this...
Thanks Obama
Hagon: "Cut me, Mick."
After having spent weeks as passenger on a Klingon freighter, where the bunks are out of naked metal, Hagon was very eager to just touch something soft!
Caught out by the old "set the grav-plating to max" jape.
Important: Keep your head low when Worf is throwing around his bat'leth!
He let me craving for the next one. So many thigns open. So many new paths to follow him into darkness. Any last page of his novels is a promise of more convoluted evolution of poor Harry.
Worst Star Trek halloween costume choice. EVER.
Suddenly, a feeling of fear and panic came over Hagon when he realized that, after all these years of prayer, Mecca was actually 180 degrees in the other direction.
You Got Served!
And, like in the movie, nobody cares.
Gym class: The REAL reason kids turn to drugs in High School.
Epic gym suits of the future…
Blue screen FAIL.
I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity ... Any girl who isn't me tonight!
Earth’s “walk of shame” home in the morning couldn’t hold a candle to the Partayrian’s crawl of shame.
"Dude!! You seen my car keys?"
How the the Partayrian people often ended a night out on the town.
Akeem: "You want me to renounce my throne? I will!
I told you to put the Velcro on the inside!
New York City Police Department Training Test:
Question: You come across a suspect in the above position. Do you:
1) Shoot with Taser until under submission.
2) Apply Choke Hold until under submission.
3) Beat with Billy Club until under submission.
4) All of the above.
Hagon: "My nationality??? I'm French, of course... Why do you ask?
i was beat up... BY A GIRL
Dancing with the Stars trails wash-out.
You can't see me!
Nananananananananananana... Catman!
Hagon tried to mug Susan Storm, the Invisible Woman.
I can see the diamond! All I have to do is slide under this alarm laser...
This photo is upside-down. Hagon was bit by a radioactive spider, too.
Odo disguised himself as a floor mat, and drowned Hagon when he walked into the gym.
Hagon really liked the Mattean ambassador.
Looking up girls' skirts... IN SPAAAAACE!
Barclay became a spider, Picard became a lemur and Riker became a caveman. Hagon was immune, but wanted to be a salamander, anyway.
Your first challenge for the interpretive dance competition: Dance 'urban sprawl'!
Ligonian yoga: Not for everyone.
Picard: ''What happened? Are you all right?''
Ligonian: ''Your crew told me about this 'break-dancing' - a custom invented by the black people from your planet. I tried it out. I failed. Now my back hurts.''
Hagon: Okay, who's the jerk with the superglue?
"I AM aware of the gravity of the situation."
HAMMER TIME! Duu-du-du-du-du
Riker: ''Captain, a man is here, who says that he is looking for a prince...''
Picard: ''A prince?''
Riker: ''Yes. From a place called Zamunda...''
Crusher: Well, I've run all the tests, and it seems he's come down with Pokemonitis. Until it runs its course, he'll believe that he's a Pokémon.
Picard: You're just making that up. Tell her, Hagon.
Hagon: Bulbasaur!
Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can...
Be afraid.... Be very afraid.
Turban Love Slave?
Next up on the On-the-Ground-a-Caption-Comp-a-thon:
Tasha: "Assume the position."
Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of China White Heroin burst?
Hagon: "No thanks, Tasha... I'm good right here."
I should feel sorry for this guy, but the urge to just kick him in the face is overwhelming.
A typical native of a Boney-M class planet.
Spousal abuse INNNN....SPACCCCCCEEE!!!
This shot IS right after Yareena found out that PegasusJF let the auto-spell check change her name to Gardena.
Someone had to tell Yareena that the Caption competition was monthly now. This guy drew the short straw.
Given how tempestuous Ligonian relationships can be, you really REALLY don't want to see how this ends.
Caption competition cleanliness rules stipulated we would only be able to get this in-progress shot of a rather nasty spat between Hagon and Gardena.
Ligonian female PMS: It's no joke.
Though the sometimes volcanically tempered women of Ligon II were the owners of the land and goods, a tradition quickly developed to allow the men to own and strategically place soft floor mats.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy entry on relationships on Ligon II: "When your woman wants some space: YOU GIVE HER SPACE!"
It took Hagon some time to read Yareena's signals.
The Man may keep you down, but at least he makes the landing more comfortable.
One does not excuse police brutality by covering the surface of the planet with blue pads.
Not quite the look of utter adoration required to his leader Lutan, but still points are given for trying.
Oh crap, she's pissed!
Here we see how NOT to do a push-up.
Frankie Chestnuts Tasha: "We now consecrate the bond of obedience...
Assume the position."
Hagon: "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Hagon: "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Tasha: "We now consecrate the bond of obedience...
Assume the position."
Hagon: "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Hagon: "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Blinded by the light!


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 17,247 Release date : 1 Nov 2015