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Dax: “I say we call him ‘Spanky’.”
Sisko: “Dexter!”
Kira: “How about ‘Julian’?”
All *Laughing*
Julian: So, you are all correct: the "Picard Maneuver"
1) really means briefly pulling on your shirt to adjust it, and
2) I should never have paid Quark that much for the "rare privilege" of seeing it.
The exact moment Jadzia decided to take up Bat'leth lessons.
Julian: D"ya like my uniform? My mum made it for me.
Dax : Julian ! Were you just mastersbating ???
Julian : Why what ever gave you that idea ?
Dax : Ahh .... You hand is still holding your " Mr. Johnson "
Julian : Ahhh Well I can explain .... I was just scratching myself. New uniform .
Dax : Julian !! The next time you use the washroom , for Christ Sake put the seat DOWN !!!
Bashir: "Our runabouts don't have seatbelts, so I brought my own with me."
Where will you be when diarrhea strikes.
If your Bashir, it would be when your on a three day trip through the wormhole in a runabout.
Sisko: Welcome back. how was the conference.
Bashir: I was good. You should visit Risa this time of year.
Sisko: The conference was on Vulcan.
Bashir: Did I say Risa, I meant Vulcan. You can't tell those tow apart.
Is it me, or does Kira look like she's ready to wipe that smile off Bashir's face.
BASHIR: Look, I can explain
Kira: I would really love to hear it.
Bashir: Enterprise, one for immediate transport. Enterprise, do read, I need an emergency transport.
Bashir: How was I to know Odo kept his bucket there. I thought it was some Cardassian toilet.
Bashir: You all are looking at me like you're ready to kill me.
Bashir: "Jadzia! A am really TRILLED to see you!"
Jadzia (in a sarcastic tone): "Oh, what a funny pun! In all the centuries of my existence, I have never heard that one before!"
Philosophy Degree - Final paper
Q1. Bashir. Why?
Bashir: "I just found out that a Ferengi tooth sharpener also works for humans! Look!"
Sisko: "Doctor Bashir, Odo found evidence that you have embezzled a lot of money..."
Dax: "...which is quite impressive, considering that the Federation's economy doesn't USE any money."
Kirah & Dax were none to happy to find Julian had taken the last of the toilet paper !!
Dax: "Our suspicions are correct, Commander. He is the "Mirror Universe" Bashir... Unfortunately, he is the same pompous ass in that one."
Sisko: That was not a toilet. They are clearly marked.
Sisko: "Did Worf finally calm down again?"
Bashir: "Yep. The sleeping pills in his prune juice work wonders!"
Dax: "To be honest, I liked the Changeling imposter version of you better."
Alexander had just received word that he was up for an Emmy for best Male actor in a Science Fiction series. Unforturnetly his fellow actors didn't even get a nomination !!!!
"Yeah, I've bribed DITL to make sure that Wesley wins the 'Star Trek Most Hated Character' poll."
"At least he KNOWS he doesn't have any fans, you just pretend that people like you."
Jadzia: "Wow, Quark is having quite the meltdown in there! Did you diagnose him having a lethal disease or something?"
Bashir: "Oh, I just told him to give up oo-mox because it's bad for his health."
Dax: "It seems you had Kritonian kidney beans for lunch?"
Bashir: "Heh. You can smell that, right?"
Bashir: (to Sisko) Hey, Hawk! Is Spencer here?
Bashir: (to Sisko) Oh my God, it's Gabriel Bell!
Markle Sparkle versus Bashir Brilliance. (Sorry Julian, No contest.)
"See, I am important. I got an invitation to the royal wedding in Windsor!"
"Really? It says here it's in Windsor, Texas."
"?!?!"
Sisko: Doctor, what IS that thing you're wearing?
Bashir: Oh, I'm just trying to bring the codpiece back in style. Tell me, ladies, what do you think?
Dax: Well, for starters, there's certainly nothing there to laugh about.
Bashir: Why, thank you... hey WAIT A MINUTE!
Dax : Is that a Banana in your pants ... or are you glad to see me ?
Poor Julian , his Viagra hadn't worn off just yet.
Dax: We were reading your transfer data. What does the "GMO" stand for?
Dax: Keep your pants on, Buckeroo!
Ben: Seriously, GO BACK INSIDE, puts pants ON, and keep pants on AT ALL TIMES. It's a... a DS9 thing.
That awkward moment when nobody else is laughing.
Bashir: "What happens on Risa stays on Risa - right Jadzia?"
Dax: "You are playing a very dangerous game here, Julian..."
Bashir: "Why are you all starring at me?"
Jadzia: "You just pushed Quark out of an airlock!"
Bashir: "Yes. Your point being?"
Bashir: "Sorry that I am late, but I met Morn on my way to here - and you know how talkative he is!"
Bashir: "Jadzia, I wanted to ask you... Would you like to do... a waltz with Bashir?"
Bashir: "Hello Jadzia! Is this a symbiont in your belly, or are you just happy to see me?"
Sisko: "Dear God... These three will be the death of me."
Heh... yep, you guys were right. That wasn't the boys bathroom...
Bashir: I can't wait to amaze these ordinary folk with my superior intellect, and they won't even know that it's all because of my illegal genetic enhancements.
Kira: You realize you said that out loud, right?
Bashir: ...Dammit.
Jadzia: Shall we start laughing at the "superior intellect"?
Sisko: Yes, we shall.
(everybody except Bashir laughs)
Dax: "The medical conference you went to wasn't on Risa, right? So... why does the log of your Runabout say that you were there the entire time? Please explain that."
While the others distract Bashir, Kira sticks a "Bash Here" sign on his back.
"Hey, Bashir, you've got a Tribble on your head!"
"OK, first rule, what happens at Smug Club STAYS at Smug Club."
Changeling-Bashir was never quite able to figure out if there was something imperfect about his disguise, or if the real Bashir gets all this awkward stares too whenever he enters the room...
Bashir: Check out these pearly whites! Think I could become the next face of Colgate toothpaste?
Kira: Hey, Colgate Boy. There's a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth.
Dr. Bashir cracks off a very loud fart as he exits the locking bay . He's busting a laugh so big he's holding his stomach because it hurts so much.
Unfortunatly the rest of the crew weren't impressed.
Dr. Bashir smiles sheepishly as he is told Dax is pregnant with his kid !!!
Bashir (comes out of the bathroom): "Phew! If I were you, I would wait a few minutes 'til to go in there..."
Julian is confronted by Kira , Dax and Capt. Sisko . Did you wash your hands after you used the washroom ?? There's a nasty virus running around here and it's got your DNA all over it !!!!! Julian smiles as he tries to explain , they had run out of soap.
Dr. Bashir : OOOPs I've done it again !!!!!
Dr. Bashir had just arrived back for a convention , when Jadzi Dax asked Julian him if he want to be part of a Menage A Trois .
Dr. Bashir damn near soiled himself !!!!
Dr. Julian Bashir, the latest poster-boy for "Natural Male Enhancement"
If you can laugh in the face of adversity - you just don't understand the situation!
Julian thought things would probably be okay if he just kept smiling.
Here we see Julian Bashir,
Grinning from ear to ear.
But with Kira behind him
And her Evil Eye on him
He really should be living in fear.
Dax: "I admit that I am a bit torn by your humor, Julian. The part of Dax that was a horny old geezer very much enjoys your little sexist jokes - but Jadzia doesn't."
What happened on Risa, stays on Risa.
Sisko: "Doctor, how was Risa?"
Bashir: "Rather boring. An uneventful vacation."
Dax: "We saw the pictures. And videos."
Bashir: "Oh, you must mean the volleyball..."
Kira: "Two words: Klingon Luau."
Bashir: "..."
Dax: "It looks like your intelligence wasn't the only thing genetically enhanced."
Sisko, to self: I feel like I'm going to lose a lot of hair over this dude.
Here we can see that the men's and women's TNG uniforms are different... and we can see WHY they were different.
Everyone is very very carefully not looking down right now... and its making me very nervous.
Dax: "Yes Julian, we acknowledge that your teeth are perfect. Now close your mouth."
Bashir: "Well, hi there. I just got my hair cut... and my teeth resurfaced... And my chin chiseled."
Kira: "...and the stick up his ass sharpened."
Bashir: "Aren't you lucky Jadzia... We're on the same team!"
Daz: "Yeah... Great."
That awkward moment when you realize you are wearing the same outfit as the creepiest dude in the room.
"Who Wore It Better?" DS9 Edition
Bashir: Frontier medicine! Ah, look, one of the natives!
Kira: *almost kills Bashir*
Sisko: How do you feel, doctor?
Bashir: Good. Better than good, in fact. ... Not enhanced though. Definitely not enhanced! Because that's illegal. Genetic engineering and Kahn and stuff. Normal. I feel normal. ...look at us...all normal. Just standing around...being normal.
Bashir: You ever get freaky with the symbiont pouch?
Everyone else: *stares*
A Commander, Trill, and Bajoran keep the doctor OUT of the bar.
Awkward Silence in 5...4...3...
Bashir: "I made a 'boo-boo'!
Kira: "Christ... I hope he knows how to wipe."
Bashir: "I made a 'boo-boo'!
The TNG episode ''Who Watches The Watchers'' on the DITL got a 3 Badge rating? What retard would give that episode a good rating!?


(I'm looking at you, Graham)
When you said you spiked my pint with LSD, what did you mean... And why am I turning into a glowing Klingon with an afro and beard of gold...
I guess the question of who farted on the turbolift will never be answered. But I do have my suspicions...
Dax: "Why would a Ferengi be in a gorilla suit?"
Kira: "What even IS a gorilla?"
Bashir: "Ha! Yes! Uh, anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to check on the infirmary."
Bashir was the 5th Wheel even in a gang of 4.
"I can explain everything!"
Dax: "Hi... I'm a Mac"
Sisko: "...and I'm a PC"
Bashir: "...and I'm a Game Boy."
Kira (to self) "...and I'm a gonna kicka you ass."
Kira: "...if only he were wearing a red shirt..."
Badhir: "Hey Gang!! I'm heading down to 'Mel's Diner' for a Cherry Coke... Wanna come?"
Bashir: "Hi! My name is Larry! I'm your "R.A.", or Resident Assistant. I'm her to make sure you are safe here in the dorm."
Kira: "More like Resident Ass,"
Bashir: "Hey, what do you think of my man bag? Isn't it cool?!"
Everyone else: (thinks) Bring back Wesley Crusher.
I just saved at MoneySupermarket.com and now I feel .... SMUG!
Bashir's last joke did not go over well...
Bashir: What are we gonna have?
Kira, Dax & Sisko: BEER!
Bashir: What do we always have?
Kira, Dax & Sisko: BEER!
Bashir: Why?
Kira, Dac & Sisko: I DON'T KNOW!
Sisko: Bud..
Dax: Weis..
Kira: Er...
Bashir: ZIMAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Hello, I'm with the government and I'm here to help!
Whatever Bashir is selling, Kira ain't buying
"...and now, the 'smug bastard' role in our party is filled."
Julian:"No really everyone it's not a purse i'm carrying."
Jared Kushner never ages!
Hi, everybody!
Bashir: Hey, baby. Mind if I check out your preganglionic fibers?
Dax: Worst. Pickup line. Ever.

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 38,981 Release date : 1 Jun 2018