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T. Kirk




Star Trek XI
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Austin Powers: That ain't no woman! It's a man, man!
Austin Powers: That ain't no woman! It's a man, man!
You think this is bad? The photographer for the Frederick's of Hollywood is even worse at getting the "good shots”.
Cougar Town, DS9.
KILF… or K-I-wouldn't-really-wanna-F-with?
Klingon: ''Come down from the ceiling! Artificial gravity is no toy!''
Where will you be when diarrhea hits you.
It is a little known fact that, while Klingon women are fierce warriors, they are easily distracted by shiny objects.
Looks like Riker might have picked up a thing or two that wasn't shown on TV while serving on that Klingon ship.
First the mating call, then the biting, scratching and throwing heavy objects will soon follow.
Still waiting for the kiss, unaware that he did run away over ten minutes ago.
Now that Praxis is rubble, to what are the Klingons supposed to howl to each night?
In Klingon fairy tales, there never is a damsel in distress - only a damsel OF distress.
Another quite night at Quarks.
'Oh by Kahless he's hit the post! You Baktag!! get down in front my teams getting pumped 'ere! keep it on the deck! That linesman is a blind Pahtak!!'
Klingon fluffers are the finest at thier profession than any other race we know of, they train constantly in oral flexing techniques considered to dangerous for other races - except species 8472, they got mad skills.
I left the bathroom light on at home!
"there eating him! And then thier going to eat ME!! OOOH MY GOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!"
Whoever screen captured this has way to much time on his hands.
Klingon: ''I want that blue dress, please. It will give a good contrast to the blood stains, that it will inevitably have after wearing it a few days onboard a Klingon ship...''
Klingon: ''Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh....''
*window glass shatters, Klingon gets sucked out into vacuum of space*
How on Earth are we supposed to keep this fairly clean?
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!
Forehead-Spice never did seem to fit in with the rest of the group's concept, and was dismissed shortly before the girls recorded their first album.
When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty..., I get the sensation of being a lone artic wolf, standing atop a cold, snowy mountain range. The vast tundra spread below...!
I am Master of all the land and creatures before me! All must now bow down before me!
I raise my head and proclaim my rule over all...,
Ah-Ohoooooooooooo! Ah-Ohoooooooooooo!
Qoooooooo-'nos, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain!
(singing) Qooooooooo-'noS, sweepin' down the plain!
Klingon: ''Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?''
Mirror: *shatters into 1000 pieces*
The night of the living Were-Klingons!
Hail to the leader
The secret revealed at last: How all this cool sound effects in Star Trek are made!
Miley Cyrus..., IN SPAAAAAAAACE!
Again with the boob jokes?
Bator displaying her discomfort with the Klingon push up bar bra
Klingon: ''It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's... the USS Enterprise!''
Bator singing (gotta love boobs a lot boobs a lot)
If you ever have the opportunity to see a Klingon opera, make sure to get a seat in the front row - the view there is very stimulating!
Even the Klingon gals just cannot take wearing a bad bra without howling.
Even Klingons find stubbinh a toe very painful.
The Cardassian torture master uttered a sigh of frustration. Instead of engaging in a discussion concerning the number of lights, his Klingon prisoner just stared at them as if mesmerized.
Stop, stop, stop! I just don't think a Klingon will cut it as Annie. Thank you for trying out.
They aren't real. They aren't even silicone. They're latex like the forehead ridges.
Sela (out of frame, a worm-like creature dangling from her hand, raised above her head): ''Do you want this gagh? Do you want this gagh? You want it, do you? Then you must attack that Federation outpost for me.''
When Chang said you should see Shakespeare in 'the original Klingon', he didn't mean it literally.
On second thought, maybe I don't want to see her "O" face.
When you see Riker in Risan clothes.
Unfortunately she just can't get the hang of whistling.
That face when someone says J.J. Trek is better!
The worst performance of "Three little maids from school are we" ever...
Where will YOU be when your twenty condoms of Ketracel White burst?
Klingon women sometimes flash their breasts to get into DITL Caption Comp
Allow me to sing you the song of my people.
Stare at this picture very carefully and you will see a Klingon female's face.
A sexy Klingon in black
Impulsive opera attack
High decibel aria
to a Cardassian tailoria
"Uncover your ears, you pe'TaQ."

Aaa-OOOO! Tribbles of Qo'noS
Aaa-OOOO! Tribbles of Qo'noS
What do Klingons dream about?
Fashion watch 2374...Klingon necklines are going lower this year.
Aside from Shakespeare of Earth, the Klingons also embraced Lady Gaga, with interesting results.
Klingons do not fear cartoons.
Don't you carry ANYTHING in a "duct tape" palette?
♪ Ahhhhh-ve Mari-i-ahhhhh... ♪
The quality of Victoria's Secrets' models went down hill after they got all those embarrassing endorsements from Neil Cavuto.
I-I can totally see my ridges!
By Sto-vo-kor, it's fully FUNCTIONAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!
B'Etor: ""We Klingons tout our prowess in battle, our desire for glory and honor above all else. We have no need for such frivolous nonsense as dresses and oth-
OOOH, LOOK!! Chiffon!! Is that available in pink??"
Is that a "volume up/down" button on her throat!?
The carpet might match the drapes, but at least the cleavage doesn't match the cranium!
Yeah, I'm the same way when I stub my toe.
Open wide.. wider... wider still....
Victoria Secret models had definitely deteriorated over the years... As did the the swimsuits.
Oppan Klingon style!
"Who let the targs out?
Who, who, who, who, who?
Who let the targs out?
Who, who, who, who, who?"
Another graduate of the Shatnerian School of Acting
"I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango.
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me.
(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro
Worf may not have been a "Merry Man"...
But this is one "Merry Woman".
Looks colder than a Klingon's tit in there...
B'tor gets to see Worf's Ba'tleth
When you gotta go, you gotta go
Question: When is it safe to stare at a Klingon woman's boobs?
Answer: Only when she is distracted with something else!
Mot'loch Spice ... The LEAST popular Spice Girl.
Klingon: I have a favor to ask of you.
Kenny: What is it?
Klingon: Die.
Kenny: That's not a questio-*vaporizes*
Klinon: That's because I don't do requests!
*echo* HEAD!!!...head...hea... *echo*
Klingon: Wha... *gasping*
Worf: When you told me you liked her, I told you to hold nothing back, but... DAMN brother! *snickers*
When a Klingon has to go, they REALLY have to go.
Klingon: Open the door!
Picard: No.
Picard: No.
Klingon: Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your ship away!
Quark: "OK... So maybe the 'Spicey Gagh Wings' are a little too hot... But Morn liked them!"
What would you do if the kiss cam is showing you, and the only one near you is a Klingon?
I would appear that someone got the best of this Klingon off screen.
For some strange reason, Klingons who visit Earth absolutely love the Disneyland ride "It's a Small World", and often just start singing along with it as they ride.

Some Wherrrre.., overre the rainbow...,
"Dear Penthouse..."
While overpriced and rather limited in its uses, the Promenade Adult Novelty Hutch found its "Cloaked Phallus" to be a hit with visitors.
From "DS9: The Musical" comes a new melody composed for "Warrior Women at the River of Blood."
Even the Klingons themselves often have problems with pronouncing Klingon words!
Garak: "Come now, that's no way to react... Blue is the new... er... 'mop-water' gray."
Looks like Quark is getting some tonight!
(A moment of silence for soon-to-be-living-the-rest-of-his-short-life-in-pain-and-terror-Quark.)
She was banking on the fact that you can have poor dental hygiene and STILL BE an international woman of mystery, in order to nail this interview. Still, a little prayer never hurt.
... Happy Birthday, Mister President...
Up next on "Klingon's Got Talent"...
Unfortunately, Victoria's Secrets translated very poorly into Klingon.
Klingon Female: "NO, NO, NO!!! I want GRAY!! It's traditional for Klingon brides."
Watching the new year fireworks outside DS9
Klingon: "TOGA, TOGA, TOGA, TOGA!"
"I, the shiny ball of Omicron Lyrae, has much to teach you young one"
One need not smile at a Klingon musical
Wedding planers have learned the hard way that one must handle Klingon brides very carefully.
Bad wedding gowns can bring out the bridezilla in everyone.
The Cardassian tailor has to go, but the gorilla in the Klingon suit can stay!
Klingon mating rituals, when the mood takes you you have to howl!

"vaSDaq Ho'lI tI tIHuSmoH
va va va va va va va va va
DaH qaS QuchmeH bov wIbuSbogh
va va va va va va va va va"

"Hang the H'oli vegetation at the hall"
Traditional Klingon Xmas carol.

Aaa-OOOO! Werewolves of London
Aaa-OOOO! Werewolves of London
The burka never goes out of style.


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 10,722 Release date : 1 Feb 2015