Mobile Site Caption Comp Monthly Poll Sudden Death Colour Key Statistics Cookie Usage
Federation Ships Other Ships A-K Fleets Weaponry Species Standard People Timelines Calculators Photo Galleries Temporal
Space Stations Other Ships L-Z Design Lineage Size Charts Battles Alternate People Science / Tech Styling Maps / Politics Temporal Ships
Articles Reviews Lists Recreation Search Site Guide What's New eMail Author Shops Forum
















EnterEntriesHonour role
PreviousLast monthVote

Caption Competition


Caption comp image

Login Details

Forum Username :
Password :


Caption Vote
T'Pol: I recently discovered a hidden live shower cam.
Archer: I am deeply sorry for this and I will personally see to it that the guilty party is found and punished.
T'Pol: Before you do that, this is a live feed of your sonic shower, not mine.
There were constant arguments about the choice of music on the bridge of the Enterprise.
T'Pol favored Mozart and Beethoven.
Archer was partial to Weird Al Yankovich.
There were constant arguments about the choice of music on the bridge of the Enterprise.
T'Pol favored Mozart and Beethoven.
Archer was partial to Spike Jones.
There were constant arguments about the choice of music on the bridge of the Enterprise.
T'Pol favored Mozart and Beethoven.
Archer was partial to P.D.Q.Bach.
Archer: "T'Pol... Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"
Archer: Don't take this personally. They're not ignoring you, the captioneers just don't have their hearts in it over the summer! They're probably out somewhere on a beach... probably making bad comments about how people are dressed there, and ogling the breasts of REAL ladies...
Millions empathize with T'Pol as she realizes her Amazon order has been delayed.
It always bothers me that they give a character an exaggerated physical attribute, and then act like it’s not important… Like the Captain’s got really big ears, what’s with THAT?
Archer, to self: Well, I PROBABLY won't get beaten up over here.
"Captain, my cleavage is down there."
Archer: ''Say, is that really a Vulcan uniform, or are you just enjoying to wear your pajamas all day?''
Attempting to contain a Vulcan Death Fart.
Archer: “Wow!”
T’Pol: “What? What is it? What do you see?”
Archer: “I can't describe it... it's almost like a little Nativity scene...!”
No, Captain, I do not believe you could “out dance” Patrick Swayze... even though he is dead.
Jolene, to self: Don't think about his nose hair... don't think about his nose hair... don't think about his nose hair...
T'Pol: No. From what I see here, you would not "make a great Chippendale dancer."
T'Pol, to self: I'm TRYING to care, but nothing is happening.
T'Pol: "You really can't fathom how difficult this is to do with you hovering over my shoulder like that."
Archer: "I considered sitting on your lap, but I thought that would be even MORE disturbing."
T'Pol: "You really can't fathom how difficult this is to do with you hovering over my shoulder."
Well, Cntl-Alt-Delete didn't work
T'Pol: I just don't understand the fascination with this video Tripp sent me. He said I must watch it to truly understand human behavior.
Archer: What video is it?
T'Pol: 2 girls, 1 cup.
Archer: Don't watch that and Tripp, see me in my ready room now.
After yet another warning e-mail from the internet provider, Archer had to find out who kept downloading pirated movies.
Archer:''Wow! That was the fastest speed run through Super Mario Bros. that I have ever seen!''
Computer glitch.
Archer: "How about we head back to my quarters and play a little 'slap and tickle'?"
Archer: "T'Pol, please tell me... Who are these birds, and why are they angry?"
Don't look round, he's still looking
Tell me, T'Pol, what is the logic behind having the worst haircut in the universe?
Archer: ''OK, who replaced T'Pol with a lifelike mannequin? And where did you get a mannequin with pointy ears?''
"Why don't you come to my quarters after shift and we'll make a 'Quantum Leap'!"
Archer : Ahhh ! Hmmmm ! T'pol did you just cut the cheese .... gasp !!! Cough !!!!!
T'pol : Sir you wanted my to try some of your famous Chilli !
T'Pol: Did you try rebooting it?
Archer: At least a dozen times.
T'Pol: Did you unplug and replug it back in?
Archer: That was the second thing we did.
T'Pol: How and WHY on Earth would you operatate a starship to on Windows 95?
Archer: *eyes Tucker*
Yes, captain, the minecraft world is now officially larger than the known universe.
If you examine this picture very carefully, you may notice a Starship Captain.
T'Pol: ''What is this?!''
Archer: ''This is called a screen saver.''
T'Pol: ''Flying toasters are illogical!''
T'Pol: ''Captain, what -''
Archer: ''Surprise browser history inspection!''
when Archer saw that Big booty Andorans was on T'pol web searches, Archer immediately knew he would have to have a talk with Tripp.
Hmmm....Ah Topal , are you aware that starfeet regualations allow me to do a full breast inspection.?
Captain ! If you need to do this .... meet me in my quarters after my shift.
If he calls "cut" one more time, I'm going to scream!!!!!!
''T'Pol's anthropological log, day 465. The alpha silverback tries to groom me again.''
"Here we go, Scott. I've hacked the studio payroll system. That is how much Trineer is getting paid!"
"WHAT? He's getting paid more than us!"
"And he didn't even stand his round at the bar!"
Archer: ''Are Vulcan kids already born with pointy ears, or...''
T'Pol: ''Captain, right now I have to focus on running your ship. Now get back to your seat.''
"I am unable to detect any sign that Commander Tucker has any kind of dress sense."
Call Microsoft. I did not want to upgrade to Windows 10.
Does anyone know what "do you want to continue running the script means?"
You're telling me they cancelled us and put out these movies instead?
Why did we go HD again?
Trip, you taped over the Bridge log with you Risa vacation video?
Back at Starfleet, HR has a fit.
That makes me a Saaad Panda.
"Yes Captain, you put the jack of hearts on the queen of spades and then the six of clubs goes over here ... isn't that obvious?
"Captain, I have hacked into Trip's Amazon account as you ordered. What do I do now?"
"Order him the Big Norgs Deluxe Inflatable Doll."
"Hmmmm, it appears that he has already done that, Captain!"
"Yes, on the same order as a stirrup pump, a yak and a vat of Nutella*."
"No wonder they call him Trippy!"
* = To avoid product placement bias, note that other nut based spreads are available!
T'Pol: ''Captain, what was the password again?''
Archer: ''vUlcAns-R-5tup1d!''
Archer: ''Where is the 'any key'? Really!? That is your question? It simply means that it doesn't matter which key you press to proceed, only that you press one.''
T'Pol: ''A software that is actually encouraging random button smashing is illogical!''
T'Pol: ''I know that you humans are fascinated by our ears, but I you HAVE to stare at them, at least try to do it more subtly.''
Another alien with a bumpy forehead?...
No ... A worried starship captain.
What was that you said Trip , she's enduring the Pawn Far ? I'm feelin' lucky !!!
Chanel de Plomik Soup? Sorry, it just doesn't do it for me.
Archer: So tell me, T'Pol, you ever seen a grown man naked?
How many seasons did your agent manage to negotiate?
T'Pol: ''Captain, why have you replaced the buttons of my console with piano keys?''
Archer: ''We are about to make first contact with an alien species, and I need you to play a series of five tones.''
Archer: (whispering) " Jefferies tube 3, 15 minutes. Be careful, Trip looks like he's suspicious."
Archer: Alright, T'pol. Let's show them we mean business. Release the kraken!
Archer: "Why are you viewing footage from that bridge security camera?"
T'Pol: "It is apparently being used for a highly illogical waste of talent called a 'Caption Competition'...
Archer: ''What is this? 'Space Invaders'? Ha! I KNEW you Vulcans are up to something!''
T'Pol: ''This is just a computer game!''
"How come Jolene can read her lines of this monitor while we have to learn ours?"
"Scott, your're the only one who ISN'T using a monitor."
"I've shown T'Pol every episode of 'Quantum Leap' and she still won't accept the possibility of time travel."
Archer: ''Are you playing Tetris at work again?''
T'Pol: ''This isn't Tetris. It is a Vulcan mind training program that -''
Archer: ''To me it looks very much like Tetris!''
Over the shoulder boulder holder.
"No, Captain, that is not how you do the Vulcan eyebrow."
Starfleet gave Captain Archer a nice, comfy chair to work out of during bridge shifts. They apparently forgot that Archer thihks he's an action hero. Sitting isn't cool.
Archer: ...Wait. Is that a a harness...with that Andorian's antennae in her-
T'Pol: It is part of my education on alien interaction.
Archer: ...On the next bridge, the captain will be able to see all stations from his chair.
Archer: "It's alright, Commander... Calm down. Just tell me... Who gave you the haircut?"
Archer: "Yes Commander... I'm CERTAIN we need to be spending the afternoon in the Decon Chamber."
T'Pol: I've found the problem. You're still running Windows 2100. And it has never been updated.
Archer: Malcolm....
Reed: *ducks behinde console*
Often Jolene would mutter "Now YOU keep a straight face" to co-workers while flashing them a little sideboob.
Archer: Look, I got one job on this lousy ship, it's stupid, but I gotta do it!
Captain Archer is not afraid to have a word with his subordinates publicly
Johnathan Archer, Captain, Savior of Earth, micromanager.
Archer: Sorry T'Pol, we didn't know the Trekfansian ambassador would have such a fixation on your ears.


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 23,685 Release date : 1 Jul 2016