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OK,great gag. Now turn the force field off.
You say: "demagogue ", I say po-TAH-to...
Frederick Frankenstein: ♪“If you’re blue and you don’t know where to go, why don’t you go, where fashion sits…”♫
Little known fact: Garak's command of the "third wave ska" scene, along with his stint as a back-up singer for the Cherry Poppin' Daddies, made him a "favorite" on DS-9 Talent Nights. Here we see him doing his ♫ ♩... putting on the Ritz... / Zoot Suit Riot! medley.
Thirty days hath September... oh, thank GOD!
Which month has 28 days? -They ALL do, get it?
Garak: "Whoa, hang on. Put that gun away... I don't write these stupid captions...
I just have to stand here all month!
I didn't even touch the donuts!
Sorry, Frankie, but if the Beatles are a better band than the Stones, how come aren't they still together? -Am I right? Listen, the Stones are sill on tour ...IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Unfortunately, Gul Dukat's mosquito clapping abilities were less than impressive.
No, no, and no, everyone. I'm holding up FOUR fingers.
The Fonz lives on in the 24th century.
"Not I," said the Cardassian.
"No, no... I'm serious. I hear Terry's thinking about leaving the show at the end of the season."
Garak: "Hey, hey, hey... I'm not saying that the Stones aren't a great band... I just like The Beatles better."
Garak: "Hold on there. I'm not Cardassian. I'm French... I surrender. "
♫ Happy Birth-day, Mister President ♫... -Everybody LOVES a Marilyn Monroe impersonator.
Enemy Mime
If you like my tiny vest, you're gonna love my chaps.
Garak: '' There may be four lights, but there are ten fingers!''
Garak: '' There may be for lights, but there are ten fingers!''
Remember when you were a kid...
and aunts and uncles would visit...
and after they left, Mom or Dad would close the door, turn around, and say:
Garak: ''I didn't do it, I swear!''
Odo: ''Do what? I didn't accuse you of anything.''
Garak: ''In this case.. Uh... Never mind, forget that I said anything!''
Station personel found Garak's body three days after the picture was taken. Multiple stab wounds and blunt force traua was the cause of death. Actual cause of death was the fact Klingons hate mimes more than humans do.
Odo: ''Can I throw Garak into the brig for his annoying new hobby?''
Sisko: ''What is his annoying new hobby?''
Odo: ''Yodeling!''
"Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag-time girl!"
I'm well versed in human customs. Now that I've washed my hand in innocence, you cannot do anything to me!
What do you mean Pilate got executed in the end anyway?
Listen everyone !!! LISTEN !!!! Ok ..... It was I that befouled the washroom ; must have been Quarks " Quadurant Chilli "
Thhhhhhhaaa ...... Oh that stinks !!!!
He puts the ASS back into the Cardassians.
He puts the ASS back into the Cardassians.
Garak: No, No, No... I'm NOT a Trump supporter. ALL Cardassians are racist, xenophobic, misogynistic bullies.
It is "visual cacophony" like this that make you miss the old black and white TVs.
Garak: ''I 've tailored my clothes myself, why do you ask?''
Who called the fashion police?
Garak: ''Have you ever heard... of the Cardassian mind trick?''
*awkwardly waves his hands around*
Cornered, Garek remembered his Obsidian Order training. He raised his hands and aimed the mini-phaser in his fake pinky finger.
Everybody STOP! It's Hammer time.
I do love keeping up with the Cardassians, I said Cardassians not Kardashians.
Look if you are going to fight please do it outside and through the airlock.
Garak: ''I wash my hands in innocence! Or the blood of the innocent. I can never tell those two apart.''
Garak: Oh sure, blame the Cardassian. I didn't choke the Bolian last month.
Garak: "Sure, Sure... I realize bow ties are cool. It's just... Where do I put it??"
ALRIGHT Gentlemen !!!!! Calm down , the store sale isn't on today , It's Free clothing all day tomorrow.
Garak: ''That's the advantage of being a tailor! You always have a good excuse when they find your fingerprints all over the clothes of the murder victim!''
(To Baltimore police) "I don't have anything in my hands! I'm not resist-" *shots fired*
Garak: ''Vic Fontaine gives everyone else advice concerning their personal problems. But the only thing he has showed me so far was how to do jazz hands.''
Garak: ''On Cardassia, only the cool people wear suspenders, not the dorks!''
"Take my wife ... please".
If we don't do something about the Cardassian immigrants, there is gonna be a tailor shop on every corner…
Parallels, Equilibrium, Body Parts, Balance of Terror, In the Hands of the Prophets...
Have I missed any?
Garak auditions for a role in a remake of Absolutely Fabulous -DS9.
I don't THINK I'm color blind, why do you ask?
Garak: Don't leave me hanging boys.
Odo: Hmmm...Hanging...I like the vision that phrase gives me.
Garak: You would.
Garak: So, I'm just to stand here like this until someone patties my cake?
O'Brian: It's Patty Cake, Garak. It's a kids game.
Here's another joke. I heard this one from O'Brian. It features a man from a city on Earth called Nantucket who has some very interesting physical attributes.
"Now, now. The USS Discovery doesn't look all that bad, guys. Right?"
Unfortunately for EVERYONE on the Promenade, Garak supplemented his income with street performances every Friday evenings.
Garak: "Hey, back off! I MAY have an abrasive personality... but hands are NOT small.... and I DON'T have that glowing orange skin."
Garak: it wasn't me, you can ask Quark. Not that he's trust worthy but it wasn't me
I tell you: it's like Casablanca, but without the Nazis...
I refuse to wear Spanx. What you see is what you get.
I refuse to wear Spanx. What you see is what you get.
It's always about the vest with you. (cf google "Why Men Love Lingerie: Rat Study Offers Hints")
I am not saying that it has been the Bajorans, but it has been the Bajorans!
Easy, now, I'm not the one who brought up Cardassian circumcision; I simply added an experienced voice to the conversation.
Hands Up, Don't Shoot works very well when the local Constable doesn't carry a weapon.
Okay guys
I said leave EU was a possibility, not something to do absolutely
Cardassian Spy...Not Kardashian Shy
Garak: You haven't seen anything until you've seen...Cardassian JAZZ HANDS!!
"Stop... Garak Time!"
Garak's "Blue Steel" pose fail.
Now, now... I'll get to each one of you...
Garak: ''I decided to make use of some of my non-tailor related skills for my new promotional campaign. Buy two suits from me, and you get one assassination for free!''
Before DS9, Garak had tried out for various roles in many other TV series.
Here's a shot of his screen test as Mork for the 'Mork & Mindy' show, doing the "Na-Nu Na-Nu" routine.
There are ten lights!!!!
It's not mine!
Garak: Can't we all just get along?
That wasn't me.
Garak: ''And what is the name of this completely ridiculous Earth dance?''
Bashir: ''It's the Macarena!''
Garage: ''And what is the name of this completely ridiculous Earth dance?''
Bashir: ''It's the Macarena!''
Garak does his best "Frenchman" imitation: A combination of Mime and "Surrender Monkey".
Garret does his best "Frenchman" imitation: A combination of Mime and "Surrender Monkey".
So I said: "Wait a minute, yes, they ARE cakes, but you need to leave'em in the urinal."
No, NOOOOO, I will not let Kira perform the Bayoran Death Pinch on me!
Garak embraces his inner Marcel Marceau...
Just wait until you read "Harry Potter, Book 10"
Little known fact: Playing "Charades" remains incredibly popular... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
"10 syllables? You gotta be joking! You don't even know any words that long!"
Garak: Look buddy, I swear I didn't know she was married. Good catch for a Klingon.
Garak: Do these look like the hands that could've killed Kenny?
Odo: Yes.
Sisko: You bastard.
Garak: I'm boned.
Kira: "What is Garak up to?"
Odo: "He's been studying the Federation cultural database again."
Kira: "What was he looking up?"
Odo: "Some form of ancient entertainment used on Earth. I forget what it's called--"
Sisko: "It's called 'miming', Constable."
Garak: "I'm a little teapot short 'n stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up then I shout!"
Nerys: "For the love of the Prophets, Garak shut up!"
Garak: "I'm a little teacup short 'n stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When i get all steamed up then I shout!"
Nerys: "For the love of the Prophets, Garak shut up!"
Garak: "I'm a little teacup short 'n stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When i get all steamed up then I shout!"
Nerys: "For the love of the Prophets, Garak shut up!"
Unfortunately, 'Hands Up, Don't Shoot' endures...even into SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
OK, stop me if you heard this one. A monk, a clone and a Ferengi decided to go bowling together...
♫ And now it's Springtime for Founders and
Winter for the UFP.
Our ships are ruling outer space,
Conquering your entire race! ♪
For a fashionable tailor, your ensemble is not particularly attractive.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy,
Two out of four,
Not bad Mr. Garak
Garak: "WHOA... Back off! Put that knife down! I never touched her. And how was I to know she was only 14??"
While durable, easy to clean, and allowing a better view of his merchandise from the Promenade, Garak quickly regretted redesigning his shop with transparent aluminum walls.
"And we killed 'this many' Weyoun clones!"
"And so I say to the ghost, 'No, THESE are spirit fingers!'"
Garak: "I swear to God... The vole was THIS BIG!"
Garak: "Hey, hey, hey... Calm down... I'm not saying that Picard was a better captain than Kirk. Let's just look at the facts."
Yo, Taylor, I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time! One of the best videos of all time!
"They're baaaaaa-aaaack!"
Wax on...Wax off.
Garak: "I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me..."
DS9 crew in chorus: "He's just a poor boy from a poor family, spare him his life from this monstrosity!"
Bashir: "Garak, remind me how many women you impregnated during the Cardassian Occupation."
Garak: "Ten doctor, including your mother."
"Do these colors make my breasts look big?"
*DS9 senior staff nods in agreement.*
Garak: ''Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal...''
Bad hair. Small hands. Xenophobic tendencies. Donald Trump is definitely part Cardassian.
Bashir and O'Brien demonstrate "two girls, one cup" for Garak.
"Patty cake, patty cake, tailor's men. Sew up a suit as fast as you can. Thread it, and stitch it, then smile with glee. This tailor's more than the eye can see."
"The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout..."
"... and then I grabbed her breasts, like so..."
See? I washed my hands.
Whoooaaa now Bud! Be careful where you point that phaser! I made a perfectly legal move!
So now you know the "color of the girl" in THIS month's caption competition.
It's gonna be YUUUUUUUUUUGE!
Jazz Hands....


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 25,568 Release date : 1 Oct 2016