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Kirk: "I guess it was bound to happen sooner than later... Frankie Chestnuts and The Geek took one another out."
In a poorly adapted version of A Christmas Carol, The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, Christmas Yet to Come, appeared on the bridge all at once.
Well, he shouldn’t have had "choke me" embroidered on his back.
Well, he shouldn’t have had TRUMP embroidered on his back.
Well, he shouldn’t have had HITLER embroidered on his back.
Well, he shouldn’t have had CONTAGIOUS embroidered on his back
Well, he shouldn’t have had MISS MARPLE embroidered on his back
Spock: You are correct Captain. These suits are "totally" the best protection when "it's raining men".
On the world of the Literal-i-tarians a request to "give me a break” was highly open to misinterpretation.
Kirk: “Well, THAT didn’t work. Spock, your turn…”
Competitive Bee Keeping…
Bee Keeping….
Attack of the Africanized Honey Bees.
Finals of the Bee Keepers Slam Contest of 2268.
Red Shirt : You see them !!!! There right there , I'm not crazy .
Capt. : IIIIII would answer but you have your hands around my neck. !!! Idiot !!!
Kirk: "I should probably give Scotty more leave time when we get back."
McCoy: "Didn't he get accused of murder on his last leave?"
Kirk: "Or have the doors to Engineering welded shut."
Three Stooges in Spaaaaace
Kirk as Larry
Spock as Moe
McCoy as Curly
Curly "Hey Moe looks like a fracas"
Moe "Really wise guy"
Larry "We better get out of here"
The End
The Redshirt's going berserk
Die die die Captain Jerk
With strong fingers
Puts the neck through the wringer
The death scene discovered by Kirk.
The dress, I mean spacesuit is white...not blue.
At Star Trek's Got Talent, Scotty strangles Kirk for voting "yes" to the Singing Condoms.
"The air is contaminated with biological waste products at toxic levels."
"You don't mean ..."
"I do mean. They were overcome when someone dropped a huge smelly fart on the bridge."
Another Eurovision Song Contest entry is rehearsing
Kirk: ''Death by asphyxiation!''
McCoy: ''Let's not jump to conclusions here.''
He told him that he couldn't give him anymore, he did not listen.
McCoy "Jim, I kept telling you, stop making Scotty push the ship to its limits, he loves the ship."
The Enterprise crew from another dimension realizes how much cooler the uniforms from this dimension are.
That's not how to do the Vulcan neck pinch...
But it comes close to the Vulcan Death Grip.
A Captain's Holiday....NOT.
"Dis is your big break into Star Trek.
Remember your lines, hit your marks,
and don't choke."
None of our business gentlemen, let's just step around them and call the police later.
"Dammit, gentlemen, I don't care about the bodies! I want to know why our helmets are connected by these red cords to our left feet, and I want to know NOW!"
Kirk: ''This may work in the Mirror Universe, or on a Klingon ship, but it is unlikely that this will be beneficial to your promotion aspirations here!''
Spock: ''We'll have to check the logs to be absolutely sure, but it seems that the captain and his engineer had a slight disagreement here...''
The enterprise crew from another dimension realizes how much cooler the uniforms from this decisions are.
We really shouldn't be watching this. These two need their privacy.
Another sad, scary morning when Scotty wakes up after a bender.
McCoy: ''Uh... shouldn't we intervene?''
Kirk: ''No. Think of the Prime Directive!''
McCoy: ''The Prime directive doesn't apply to another Starfleet ship!!''
McCoy:(muttering to himself) "...been a few times I've wanted to do that myself."
..and the cause of death appears to be an exposure to toxic gas.....notice how Ensign Redshirt is preventing a fatal inhalation...
Kirk: ''That's truly shocking! Who would kill a Starfleet captain!?''
McCoy: ''Perhaps someone who is fed up with the fact that Starfleet captains barely notice anymore when the redshirts also died...''
This is virtual of reality of the 23rd Century. It's like you really are there!!!
Spock: ''No Scotty, that's NOT how you do the Vulcan neck pinch!''
The REAL reason "Star Trek: The Original Series" was cancelled: creative conflicts.
In the future, space suits only allow you to breathe from the hose attached to your left foot
Scotty, on the bridge, with his bare hands.
Kirk: ''Bones, please determine the cause of of this Captain's death. I want a full and very thorough autopsy.''
McCoy: ''Are you kidding me!?''
Scotty: ''Die, Kirk! Die! DIE DIE DIE!!''
Kirk: ''Oh good, Scotty found and incapacitated my evIl clone. Well done, Mr. Scott!''
Scotty: ''What? This is just a clone??''
BONES: He's killing his own Captain. We've got to stop him!
KIRK: You're right. On the count of three: CARE BEAR STARE!
KIRK: My god! Did these men kill each other?
BONES: I can't tell for certain, Jim. My helmet keeps fogging up.
SPOCK: I told you we shouldn't have eaten all those fried beans.
Wake up, Captain! You've got to see this! Daft Punk got a third member!
The poor fools died without jars on their heads. Professor Farnsworth won't be able to revive them.
They died of thirst. Luckily we Fremen know how to drink our own urine.
Batman will never be able to defeat THREE of us. Khan was right:
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
KIRK: Did they kill each other?
BONES: No, they tried to gather honey without their suits.
That redshirt strangled his own Captain! Damn, Jim! I was going to do that! Now if I do it I'll just look like a pathetic copycat!
REDSHIRT: What's with the hazmat suits?
KIRK: Are you kidding? Look at the huge pimple growing out of that guy's neck! When you pop that zit it's going to spray puss everywhere!
The scene that inspired the hit song "It's raining men".
"Star Trek: The Original Series" was REALLY cancelled because of Gene Roddenberry’s constant insistence on randomly inserting Doo-wop lyrics and back-up singers.
Spock: Even when committing murder, a redshirt ends up dying.
Spock:Amazing, even when committing murder, they end up dying.
Somebody must have really ticked off Costuming.
These red hoses are not phallic at all, nope, not at all,
The Five Tops abruptly became The Four Tops when lead singer, Levi Stubbs, took out his rival baritone, Herman “Snooki” Fitzgerald.
Crimes of Fashion...
Bones: "He's dead, Jim."
Kirk: "HE'S dead?? Pretty sure they BOTH are."
Kirk: "Does this suit make my ass look big?"
Bones: "Your ASS? It makes your HEAD look like a blimp!"
The PIPs extended their careers for hundreds of years due to Cryopreservation technology. Their only regret? Walt Disney wouldn’t shut the ef up.
Wait, I thought we were supposed to defeat the might Kirk, not his friend!
This was the inspiration for Devo .
Kirk: “Ouch!” ...“OUCH!"... "Damn, that chafes!”
Bones: "I said we were going on a Commando MISSION, don't blame me if you don't pay attention."
McCoy: ''Oh the irony - he choked someone to death, and then died himself because the ship run out of oxygen!''
Kirk: ''That's karma!''
Kirk: Bones, what happened?
McCoy: I'll have to examine them, but it appears they had the fish course.
This event went down in history as the Great Singing Massacre. A shipwide death of every crew member trying to keep Shatner from singing.
Kirk: Those suits really makes your asses look huge!
Spock & BONES: People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
At the worst possible moment, three giant hot dogs danced across the screen singing ♫ "Let's all go to the LOB-BY!" ♫
Kirk: "WOW! If it's this bad on the Bridge, I can't wait to see the Officer's Mess."
ADD In Space:
Bones: "GOOD GOD!! What's happened here ... Ooo, look at all the flashy lights!"
Bones: “Eeeeww… Either you guys bring Purell?"
Spock: "I think it represents the cosmic battle and eternal struggle between good and evil... light and dark… truth and lies.”
Bones: “Interesting… Either that, or he was really friggin’ pissed off."
McCoy: "Back off Spock... You're stepping on my hose."
''Well, at least the Captain died on the bridge, like he always wanted...''
The Ghosts of Star Trek Past, Present, and Future decided to just let things play out.
As you can see in this simulation , It's not wise to insult the Chief about his engineering skills .
Kirk: ''I get that the Captain got choked to death, but how did the redshirt die?''
Spock: ''By being a redshirt.''
The great red shirt rebellion.
Have Spacesuit, Will Travel.
This early version of the Borg did not focus test well.
The Three Stooges: 2265
Yellowshirt: Blagh, blagh blagh...
Redshirt: WRONG ANSWER!!!
Kirk: They always said he choked under presure...
Bones: Too soon, Captain!
Spock: Yet a most logical statement.
Bones: Et tu, Spock?
The Redshirts are tired of taking your crap.
We, the Red Shirts Brigades, wish to formally lodge a complaint about work place treatment... DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!
Caution: Redshirts can be a choking hazard!
♫ One of these things is NOT like the others... ♫
MLCoolJ: I was going to come up with a funny one-liner for this scene, but I think those EV suits are already enough of a joke.
Bones: "I think we found the source of that odor."
Kirk faints at the thought of wearing a full body condom.
Star Trek, The Musical ...IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
Tic tac's parent company parlayed the "transparent plastic box , with its flip-action 'living hinge' lid technology" into a lucrative intergalactic enterprise.
The Red Shirt Rebellion didn't end well for Kirk...
SO, we're all wearing these Hazmat suits, but wouldn't it be a good idea to actually attach the oxygen hoses to something?
Bones: "I appreciate your efforts, ensign, but you're not going to get that head back on."
A redshirt's only chance for survival: Strangling the Captain before he has any opportunity to order you to do something that may get you killed!
Bones: "He's dead, Jim."
Kirk: "Ya think?"
Bones: "He's dead, Jim."
Kirk: "I realize I'm not a trained physician, but I think I can tell you the cause of death."
Spock: "In this alternate reality, Captain, Mister Scott is not afraid to express his contempt for you."
Spock: "Most illogical, Captain. Only one of them is wearing a red shirt."
Uhhhh..... We can come back.


Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 30,796 Release date : 1 Jun 2017