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Caption Vote
Voiceover: "...and out next piece is a stunning example of utility and design...
-Wait,,, are we grateful to Canada for NOT producing Riker? I mean, I know tonight is the first evening of my vacation and I MAY be fairly drunk, but is that why I APPRECIATE CANADA SO MUCH?
-Just asking as a former Vermonter (AKA Canadian).
Even more embarrassing than "These Are the Voyages".
Thus began Riker's transformation...in another month, he would become a full Cybertronian...
Anthony Weiner, IN SPAAAAAACE!
Another career shot down by posting a pic on Facebook.
#.gifsIDontWantToSee
Riker takes Q up on his offer of joining the continuum.
~The way to Eden
Riker: "Riker to enterprise"
Picard: "Number One, you had me worried for a while but I knew you would come to your senses and back to the Enterprise."
Riker: "No, Eden's great. I forgot my trombone. Could you beam it down?"
William Riker: another thing we can be grateful to Canada for. So that makes one thing.
Deanna: "Will, I say this as your friend and ship's counselor, it's time to get a new off duty wardrobe."
Will: "*Sigh* All good things..."
Riker in front of mirror to self: "Hmm, it must be time to make an appointment with Mr. Mot again."
Riker to Picard: "What? But you let Troi wear off duty clothes."
number one going number two
"Please keep it fairly clean" - hence the cropped version.
Riker to telekinetic woman: "Stop undressing me with your eyes. I can do it myself."
William Riker: another thing we can be grateful to Canada for.
Another one of Barclay's holodeck fantasy programs
"Like it? I got it off of a Ferengi I punched in the face."
Deanna: "Will, more than anything else in the world, anything, you want to be a starship captain."
Will: "That's not all I want, Deanna."
Frakes: "Someday I'll be the director and then the shoe will be on the other foot."
Klingon Gagh: that'll put hair on your chest
Riker steps out of the closet...
Humming to himself:
Am I a man or am I Muppet?
Riker: ''My eyes are up here, Deanna!''
I look way better in this than Lwaxana.
And yet another bad "Prom Picture".
Here we see The Geek doing ANYTHING to win another Caption Competition...
Troy: (snickering) Well, it does say something about your inner child, Will. I mean playing dress-up like this so late in life could explain some the repressed angry feelings about you childhood.
Ricker: Thanks.
Cabana Boy, "Number One" -the least requested holo-program, except for a brief time when the title was mistranslated.
He was young.
He needed the money.
The photographer said no one would ever see the private "glamour shots".
...Now he would never be able to reign as "Miss America"!
Adam & Eve's free MYSTERY GIFTS:
...ONE SIZE REALLY DOES FIT MOST!
What he really enjoyed about the Richard Simmons' weight loss program was wearing the cool "Clubhouse" outfits!
Deanna: ''May I come in?''
Riker: ''I am... not dressed properly. But come in anyway!''
Oh the 1980's, when chest hair was sexy.
Somehow this is still not on the level of exploiting Jerri Ryan's body.
Enjoy it while you can. By season 4, I'll be too fat to show my body.
Riker: "I'm here for my Brazilian, Mr. Mott!"
"Number One, what are you wrapped in? A savage curtain?
I'll take "Things I didn't want to see on Star Trek" for 200, Alex.
Humming to himself:
Am I a man or am I Muppet?
Humming to himself:
Am I a man or am I Muppet?
He remembers thinking that, after he scored this sweet TNG gig, his days of dressing like a stripper were over...
'opps nip slip'
Riker: ''I am feeling kinda... nude without my beard...''
Troi: ''I don't think that's because your beard is missing...''
23rd century: James T. Kirk is tearing open his shirt on multiple occasions.
24th century: Progress! William T. Riker is wearing a shirt that is open in the first place!
Unfortunately in the future, but fortunately for us, Will Rikers remake of "Simply Irresistable" by Robert Palmer starring just himself wasn't as successful as he hoped.
Unfortunately in the future, but fortunately for us, Will Rikers remake of "Simply Irresistable" by Robert Palmer wasn't as successful as he hoped.
This ladies is what's called bringing sexy back in the 24th century.
See my vest, see my vest, made from real Riker chest...
Clubbin' in the 24th century
Riker clearly prefers 'Frame of Chest' over 'Frame of Mind'...
William T. Riker in '007 - Golden Ear'
Riker: ''Really? You think that all that hair on my chest would look better on my face?''
Behold, the smirk that launched a thousand births.
I came here because someone told me that there was a sexy topless picture. Not the kind of topless picture I was hoping for.
Riker: Anybody can wear this, but I make it look good.
"I didn't want to be a Star Fleet Officer! No. I wanted to be a LUMBERJACK!"
Picard: "Bow-Chicka Bow Wow, Number One!"
Riker: "Captain??"
Riker: ''That Ferengi from last week's contest was neat - but look at MY lobe!''
Although Riker is a trombonist, this scene looks more like there should be saxophone music in the background...
Hzeisj Great article.Really thank you! Keep writing.
Riker: Note to self: Never get drunk with a bunch of Ferengi and get a "Prince Albrox".
Riker WOULD have gotten away with this outfit, if it weren't for us MEDDLING KIDS!
Is it only coincidence that the words 'Riker' and 'Risa' are beginning with the same syllable?
Riker liked "Games"....this evening it was
Bajoran slave,Cardassian Mistress, and this time he was the slave.
Riker forgot to close his bathrobe. Deanna... doesn't mind.
No one has noticed it makes his ass look big!
Santorum means WHAT?!?!?!
It was hard not to notice Riker's earwax problem.
Goes better with a beard.
Chief O'Brien considered it being very suspicious that Commander Riker was wearing his wife's kimono...
George Takei . I'll get you for this !!!!!! Nice April fools joke BUDDY !!!
Riker hopes showing a little skin will get him in DITL's Caption Comp
Riker, Commander, First Officer, Adult Movie Star!
The Captain did say this was a casual dinner ?!
Riker: Move along, nothing to see here.
Everyone else: laughter
Oh my, that's more chest hair than on a mugato!
I'm too sexy for my shirt
Riker's too sexy for his shirt...
The Mike Tyson anti-biting ear guard. drmrs 7/5/2014 Rockville, MD
Normally, after a night of heavy drinking with his buddies, Riker wakes up with a mustache drawn on his face and his hand in a bucket of water.
.
Last night, he must have been VERY drunk.
Being sexy in spite of a hearing aid - only William T. Riker can pull that off!
Hawaiian shirts don't get any better in the future.
In a desperate attempt to stop the Borg something goes terribly terribly wrong!
Riker is about to find out if the spots go all the way down!
Nip slips INNNN SPAAAAAACE!!
Embarrassing visits to the proctologist...
IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!
"Set phasers to FABULOUS!"
Riker: I'm sure glad I'm not in a caption contest. I mean, it would be SUPER embarrassing.
Data: Smoother than a baby's bottom, Commander? I don't believe so.
Riker: Touché.
Data: Commander I need to have a word with you.
Riker: Uh, now's not the time. I'm- this isn't what you think.
Data: You were waiting for Counselor Troi, were you not? To initiate intimate relations if I'm not mistaken.
Riker: Yes, I mean, no.
Troi: *walks in* ... ... ... I'm going to leave you two alone. *walks out* *snickers*
Riker: DAMMIT!!!
Riker: Do you know what I have in my pocket? Well do you? DO YOU!?!?
Troi: No, I can see clearly what you have quite clearly.
Riker: I hate shaving my beard sometimes... but that's not ALL I hate to shave!
Riker: I don't always wear shiny robes and a huge earring. But when I do, I drink Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friend.
Riker's dark past caught up with him when Deanna found that weird Bajoran porn movie he once stared in...
You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions.
Dianna : Will !!!!! get my retainer outa your ear !!!!!
Riker, his robe open.
Riker's character's "musical talent"
was replaced with "tromboner"
after
"singing and stripping to Gypsy Rose Lee's" Let me Entertain You"
was rejected by the Network Censors.
Riker's character's "musical talent"
was replaced with "trombonist"
after
"singing and stripping to Gypsy Rose Lee's" Let me Entertain You"
was rejected by the Network Censors.
Between his taste in leisure wear, and his constant singing and dancing to show tunes, Riker was never able to keep a roommate
Between his taste in leisure wear, and his constant singing and dancing to "YMCA", Riker was never able to keep a roommate.
Between his taste in leisure wear and his constant humming of "The Girl From Impanema", Riker was never able to keep a roommate.
Between his taste in leisure wear and his constant singing of "OOPS! -I did it again", Riker was never able to keep a roommate.
Between his taste in leisure wear and his constant singing of "The Lumberjack Song", Riker was never able to keep a roommate.
Between his taste in leisure wear and his constant humming of "up all night to get lucky", Riker was never able to keep a roommate.
Between his taste in leisure wear and his constant humming of "Bolero", Riker was never able to keep a roommate.
"I'm the prettiest girl at the Harvest Ball!"
Replicator? No, I whipped this outfit up myself!
After a long day in a RED SHIRT, how do you relax?
Picard: This is the LAST "Casual Friday" EVER!
Riker: Yes, I do look that damn good.
Smirk of the Month club
Precioussssss...
And here is Mr. Alaska in an aqua Tholian silk lounging robe and a Bajoran earring collection
If you think this is tacky, you should see the other ear.
Forego the manly beard or forego kissing Deanna Troi; quite the dilemma.
How to tell if you're watching a good TNG episode:
Step 1: does Riker have a beard?
Hairy-chested metrosexual... IN SPAAAAACE!
When sweeps week goes wrong...
Terribly wrong.
THIS is why Riker can't keep a roommate.
Here is a rare glimpse at an ego inhibitor implant.
When Riker wakes up, hungover and broke, he'll look back at this moment and regret saying, "any piercing will do."
Deanna: "I know that you want to be a captain more than anything but do you really have to be on your Bluetooth right now?"
*Views caption comp. Looks around the room. Deletes web browsing history.
Do a Google Image search for this. Have fun!
Commander William Riker, here demonstrating everything wrong with TNG Season 1
Hey Deanna! I got a mistletoe earring! Good thing I'm taller than you.
Hey Deanna! I got a mistletoe earring!
Another "showing more cleavage for ratings" gone wrong.
Riker was nearly court-martialed from Star Fleet for his inappropriate "Dress like a Bajorian"-Day parody costume.
Early in his intelligence training Elim Garak has some spectacular fashion failures, not to mention a chance encounter with the Enterprise's First Officer.
The Fabulous hair-styling of Mr. Mot (barber of the stars)
Picard: You're look FABULOUS, Number 1!
These new ear communicators are not going to work out for most of the men , and they new uniforms are a bit drafty.
Riker: "Please, Deanna... You said that what happens on Risa, STAYS on Risa!"
...and from the "Wesley Crusher Collection"... Here we have Willy looking smart in a very delicate demi-coat in powder blue, Romulan silk.
.
Thank you, Willy.
Riker: "Please Deanna... PLEASE don't make me do this again!"
Riker: "Number One??? I got your Number One... RIGHT HERE!!"
...and you thought your annual physical exam was humiliating!
"Make it so!" only works for Picard.
In the future contraception is easy
because people voted intelligently in the NOW.
I'm too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
Jonathan Frakes: You wanna talk smack about how I'M dressed? Well, first move your LARPing asses out of your parents' basements, and THEN we'll talk.
Zoolander... IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!
Male models... IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!
I call this look "The Ali Baba".
I call this look "The Ali Baba", and I've got your "Open Sesame" right here.
CLOSE SESAME!
All too late he realizes: Star Trek has made him its bitch...
All too late he realizes: Star Trek has made him its bitch...
We knew the whole time...
I call this look "The Fabio".
Wardrobe malfunction ... IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!
Holosuite Romance Novels gone bad.
-a little wax here? -anybody?
Metro-sexualization gone bad-der.
"Ear worms" in the bright & shiny future: still as annoying, still as hard to ignore.
Now, not only did Riker have absolute proof that Data was fully functional, but he also had proof that the android's aim as well as his sexual preference was a little off.
...and yet ANOTHER rejected Holosuite program.
Sulu: "Ooooh, my!!"
Sulu: "Well hello, there!"
Riker: "Greek massage??? Anyone?? Greek massage?"
Rejected Prototype Borg Implants
IN SPAAAAAAAAAAACE...!!
Rejected Prototype Borg Implants
IN SPAAAAAAAAAAACE...!!
"I don't always get my ears pierced, but when I do, I get one ear pierced 47 times. Stay freaky, friends."
The inspiration for all future Bajorans!
Troi (offscreen): "Imzadi, somebody poured molten aluminum on your ear."
Riker: (scoffs) Really? Again? Boy, if I had a bar of gold-pressed latinum for every time somebody poured molten aluminum on my ear..."
Oh yeah, ladies. He's single.

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 4,398 Last updated : 30 Nov -0001