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Caption Competition

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The expression on Picard's face says it all.
Dorn: “Felish catush ish your taxonomic nomenclachure,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivoroush by nature;
Your vishual, olfactory, and auditory shensesh
Contribute to your hunting shikllsh and natural defenshess.
.
I find myself intrigued by your shubvocal oschillationsh-“
.
Patrick: “MICHAEL!! CHRIST!! Take out those teeth before reciting that!”
Captain: Blowback?
Worf: Yes, sir …and it tastes a bit like Trump.
And that's why the Klingons say " Qapla' " instead of "Gesundheit".
Worf: ''Dr. Crusher told you that Ensign Taurik is in pon farr right now, Captain. Plomeek soup repurposed as projectile was therefore to be expected.''
Picard: ''When I told you to get that bug off my shoulder, I didn't mean that you should squash it with so much force!''
Worf: ''Ew! At least none of this landed on my baldric.''
"Klingons don't do anything small, do they, Mister Worf?"
The Bogeyman ... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Worf (thinks): Ah, there it is. A nice fat bogey. I'll put it behind my ear and save it for later.
I said his name was "Scotty" not "Snotty"
"I gave up a serious Shakespearean acting career to get covered in snot on TV ..."
Picard: That's the reason you can't rush the 14 minute BOWFLEX MAX WORKOUT, Mr. Worf.
Mr. Worf: Yes, at regular speed you merely FEEL like exploding.
Picard "Bless you mister Worf."
Worf "Thank you captain. Ah captain, do yoh have a tissue i may borrow?"
Splatter!
My hand looks so presidential... Synthallucinogenics. ‘nuf said.
Spit happens.
Worf: "Really? But using one's hand to cover a sneeze would only befoul my hand! To what purpose would that serve?"
Macro virus ===> Macro Sneeze
Worf: ''Hmm, smells like teen spirit!''
In a frozen corner of the galaxy, the Enterprise crew was forced to eat Wesley Crusher... And there was much rejoicing.
Worf: ''It's the Klingon mating season!''
Picard: ''Should we bring you back to your home planet?''
Worf: ''No, I'll just excrete this extremely foul smelling substance for a few weeks. Otherwise I'll be fine.''
There is much contemplation about the “sound of one hand clapping", but no one considers the splatter...
Mr Worf: Look at my hand! I can see the veins …I can see the …
Star Trek training video #42: "Just say no to Synth-Acid"
Picard: It is inauguration day, Mr Worf! What did you THINK was going to happen?
The REAL reason Worf "updated" his sash.
Worf: It appears that Commander Troy had another baby.
Picard: Yes, but this one IS the devil's spawn.
Worf : What is this slime , it smells delicious .
Piccard : Mr. Worf we just got slimed by a ghost , this is hardly the time to think of your stomach.
Mr. Worf : Who we gonna call ??
Damn it Bill !!! This is not the time for one of your pranks !!!!
What happens when William Shattner is a guest star.
Picard: ''Are you nervous? You have very sweaty palms right now, Mr. Worf.''
Picard: "Thank you for the warm greeting Mr. Ambassador. The Federation is looking forward to our new alliance with the Flemonian Empire."
"Captain, the gorch on my neck appears to have burst."
"....."
"Captain?"
"..... Thank you Mister Worf..... Carry on."
Still better than the Motion Picture uniforms.
Talk to the hand !!!? Mr. Worf didn't notice the hair gel on the Captain's uniform .
Worf: ''I have heard that if this planet's ruler drools at you, it's a sign that he likes you.''
Picard: ''Sure, Mr. Worf. But I am not entirely certain if he likes us as allies - or as food...''
SUBJ1
SUBJ1
SUBJ1
Is that lilac?
I think we found the clog, call maintenance.
Picard: Mr Worf, when in the front row for Gallagher, you must bring plastic sheet.
Worf: Sorry sir. I will attempt to do better.
SUBJ1
She: "That's what."
Worf: ''Did... that Romulan really attack us by pouring out his ale over us!?''
Picard: ''Well, it *is* an illegal substance...''
Mr Worf: It smells like ...teen spirit.
Mr Worf: It smells like SPAM.
Picard: "Tea... Earl Grey.. hot. This time with a cup."
I get it Beverly !!! The soup wasn't very good . Sheeesh !!!
And here we have Exhibit A: two exceptional actors doing exceptionally stupid things.
Worf : Sniff ... Sniff .. This is the sent of a Female Klingon ..... Grrrrrr......GRRRRRR... !!
Capt. Piccard : OH!!! SHIT . Computer Override !!! Stop the turbo lift !!!!!!!!!
My life line shows a continuation in another series.
My heart line shows an upcoming marriage, as well as judging a Miss Universe contest.
My head line shows... ridges.
Say it,
don't spray it.
Kahless Bless You.
Picard: ''Mr. Worf, enter a Jefferies tube and find out were this disgusting ooze that is leaking through the roof comes from!''
Worf: ''Don't worry, Captain. I know the bowels of this ship like the back of my... wait, has that line always been there?''
"Umm... gesundheit?"
Picard: ''The phrase 'talk to the hand' is just a human figure of speech, Mr. Worf.''
Picard: Try cutting out gluten, Mr Worf.
Picard: ''Mr. Worf, what is that!?''
Worf: ''It is... green!''
Picard: "What the hell was that, Mr. Worf?"
Worf: "Sorry, Sir. But that wasn't me. That was one of those "alternate reality" versions of me. I'll go look for him right now."
What sweet sweet jelly have we come across
"Yes Captain, it appears that I eat something that disagreed with me."
Worf: ''It is live, but not as we know it!''
Picard: ''Well, my NOSE certainly knew nothing like this before!''
Picard: "A bit too much emphasis on the the "spit" portion of a spit handshake, Mr. Worf..."
Worf: True, Captain, this will be hard to clean up, -it got all over my shoulder pads, and into the weave of my baldric. But please, go on.
Picard: Please stop repeating “WHOOMP -there it is”.
Picard: "Good God, Mr. Worf... I believe I have a piece lodged in my cranium."
Worf, absent-mindedly starts to hum: "whoop there it is… whoomp there it is…"
Picard: "Mr. Worf... When I said 'Talk to the hand", that's not exactly what I meant."
Director: "MAKEUP!"
The Enterprise-D was the technological crown jewel of Starfleet, but she had one major construction flaw: Whenever someone spilled something, it leaked though all the decks below.
Dealing with species communicating exclusively through projectile vomiting is a particularly messy affair.
That sneeze registered on the Richter scale.
"Smells like... Lwaxana."
CAPT. : SORRY MR. WORF , THE GAGH I HAD DIDN'T AGREE WITH ME .
WORF : SMELLS OVERCOOKED .
Worf: ''A food fight in Ten Forward! I see a lot of weird stuff as chief of security, but this topped everything!''
Star Trek III, The Search for Snot.
Score: Starfleet 0, Denebian Slime devils 2.
He slimed me.
I guess you Klingons do everything big.
Picard: ''Did you know that the replicator can create rotten eggs!?''
Worf: ''The audience apparently didn't like our performance of that Gilbert and Sullivan song. We should have practiced more.''
OH !!! Sorry Captain , I'm not yet versed on using a kleenex to catch a sneeze .
Worf: "Amazing! And you humans call this 'Zit-Popping'. Thank you for the advice, sir!"
Worf: "Sorry Captain, but I think that someone has brought a Tribble onboard."
Picard:"..., Gesundheit!"
Captian Picard: I TOLD you to stop picking at it.
Worf, sniffing: I seem to have read about this in a "Cards Against Humanities" game.
Riker: ''You two are back! How was it down on the planet?''
Picard: ''We found no sentient life there - just huge swarms of birds!''
Picard:"mr.Worf next time cover your nose before you sneeze."
Wesley comes of age...
Worf: 42.5 meters. He spits like a warrior.
Picard: Good aim, too.
They say to sneeze and cough into your elbow, not your hand, Mr. Worf. Now you know why.
(Room Shakes)
Picard: Mr. Worf, please keep tissues with you at all times....and get me a towel.
Worf: Achooooo!
Picard: Targ Flu, it's no joke.
Picard: Note to self, next visit make sure Kirk is not entertaining a female guest.
Number One, be sure to wear a poncho at the next kal-if-fee ceremony. The pheromones get everywhere.
Picard: "What the hell was that, Mr. Worf?"
Worf: "Sorry, Sir. But that wasn't me. That was one of those "alternate reality" versions of me. I'll go look for him right now."
Picard: Have some compassion, Mr. Worf, these uniforms are skin tight!
This tiny zipper in front is useless.
You have to wiggle your ass just to get INTO them.
You know from experience that it is hard to get them off without crapping yourself.
Now, give the Ensign a hand.
Mr Worf: It is hard to choose which one.
Picard: Use your "metaphorical" hand.
Here are the finalists in the "First and Only Enterprise Hock a Loogie Contest". Worf was not happy as a 3 to 1 underdog.
Ohhh. That's a keeper!
I think he did a little to much LDS.
Worf: ''Hmmm, prune juice!''
Worf: Captain, Spot merely soiled your uniform. He left a deep scratch on the palm of my hand.
Picard: You can tell people that it's your feline.
Alien baby spit up: too foul even for Worf!
"Really, Number One, do you have to play the trombone while eating clam chowder?"
After suffering a direct hit from a Vulcan Death Fart, Picard prepares for retaliation in the form of the dreaded Locution of Extraordinary Length. Worf, on the other hand, simply reached for his phaser.
The traditional greeting ceremony of the Sneezonians always left outsiders feeling like they need a hot shower.
Picard: Yes, Mr. Worf, a bird in the hand has greater value, but only to a certain point.
Riker (on communicator): "Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then it EXPLODED? Hello?"
Worf: "Hold, please."
Picard: "Energize, Mr. O'Brien."
Riker (on communicator): "Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then it EXPLODED? Hello?"
Worf: "Hold, please."
Picard: No, Mr. Worf, I will NOT smell your fingers.
Worf: Well, just before the Ensign exploded, he was saying that his uniform felt VERY tight.
Worf: Well, this is that last time I will wear my baldric while on duty!
Worf: Well, this is that last time I will wear my baldric while on duty.
Captain Picard: Please say it, don't SPRAY it, Mr. Worf.
Picard: "Not bad for your second day of work, is it?"
Worf: "This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter."
Picard: "You should've been here for the Zeronian migration in 2668."
Worf: "I got a fever... and the only prescription is-"
Picard: "-it doesn't matter what the prescription is... Just use a Kleenex next time."
Picard: "Mr. Worf... the custom is to cover your face BEFORE you sneeze."
Picard: "Gesundheit!"
Worf: Mirror, mirror, in my hand
Who's the baddest in the land?
Picard: I should've never let you watch "Descendants," Worf.

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 27,726 Release date : 1 Feb 2017