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A Matter
of Time
All Good
All Our
: Earth
Cause and
of Time

Eye of
the Needle


Green Men



The Edge
of Forever
The Voyage
Time And

Tomorrow is
Trials and


We'll Always
Have Paris
of Hell
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Caption Competition


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Name Caption
Bird of Prey ''I can't hear a thing with these earmuffs. I'll just have to keep nodding politely while this nice lady is talking with me. And she is talking quite much. I hope it's not about something important.''
Horta not Vorta Can find his a** with both hands
jg Missing the social cues of this society,Janeway just kept on talking. Meanwhile, as indicated by his shirt, it appears his interest levels have reached critical levels and will soon need to recharge.
jg Man on left: My Gods, does she ever shut up. We get it, you're a vegan and you vape.
jg Man on left: My Gods, does she ever shut up. We get i, ou're a vegan and you vape.
Miss Marple Janeway: So, can I get an Orange Julius, or not?
Mall Cop: Technically yes. However, since the push against ORANGE in this election, we prefer calling it "Julius® Original!", and they're selling 'em at the DQ.
Chromedome "Welcome to Planet WalMart, home of the badly dressed."
Chromedome Star Trek Costume Department Fail #329
Security guard in a corset wearing a blindfold backawards.
Chromedome Is that a truncheon in your pocket or are you pleased to see me ... Oh, it is a truncheon.
Chromedome In Weird Science, a geek wearing a bra on his ears conjures up Kelly Le Brock. But in this case he gets Janeway. Rats.
Chromedome Do you need legal representation when you sue the costume department?
M. Terry What does it take to get a good cup of coffee around here?
AJ Why is it that all the seems on your cloths are so obvious?
Same reason that it tends to fold and crease in the wrong places: Other than being underfunded and having no taste, our costume department is also incompetent at sewing.
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''Have you seen Mr. Neelix?''
Police officer: ''Yes, but you can't have him back. He is our fashion designer now.''
Frankie Chestnuts Janeway: "I just don't understand... Why CAN'T we get a table for two?"
Guard: "Because I'm Chief of Security... And this isn't a restaurant."
Bir of Prey Janeway: ''Honestly, we didn't know that this was a no parking zone! If we pay the fine, do we then get back the Delta Flyer?''
MR. WORF What do you mean my licence to carry is no good here !!
Frankie Chestnuts Janeway: "Well, first there was POTUS, which stood for “President of the United States” and SCOTUS: "Supreme Court of the United States", and FLOTUS which was the “First Lady of the United States”. Then there was SCROTUS, which was an acronym used to exclusively describe a Republican Presidential Nominee from the early 21st Century."
Miss Marple Janeway: -That's CAPTAIN "Nasty Woman" to YOU.
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''Two frappuchinos, please.''
Barrista: ''To go?''
Janeway: ''We still have 70,000 lightyears to go, so yes.''
AJ People in the future openly carrying weapons. Seems like evidence that, at least in the Star Trek universe, Trump will win the elections.
AJ No, sir, honestly, we didn't know we weren't allowed to carry firearms in a shoppingmall.
Frankie Chestnuts Kathryn Janeway: Starship Captain. Coffee Aficionado. Chief of the Fashion Police.
Miss Marple Herr Kommissar: Don't turn around oh oh...
Behind Janeway's right hand: assless chaps.
MR. WORF Janeway : Is that a big baton on your hip or are you glad to see Me.
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''If you give me your earmuffs, I'll give you... Mr. Paris!''
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''No, not green, orange, red! Just red and then all black, like the stuff that we are wearing like now!''
Boutique clerk: ''But that is so last season!''
DBB Janeway: So your entire planets has this one culture?
Man: Yup. It's all pretty much like this.
AJ According to that chart on your chest you are not energy efficient. I'm afraid I would prefer to buy another model.
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''Temba, his arms wide!"
Police officer: ''¿Que?''
Paris: ''Nope, he doesn't understand Tamarian either. Try another language.''
Niall Johnson I once caught a fish this big!
mwhittington Janeway: According to the display on your chest, you need to recharge.
Miss Marple Trump made good on his vow to profit from his presidential bid, despite suffering huge damage to his brand, by selling poor quality, imported, hair replacement systems.
EMH_MkI "My gun's bigger than your's."
"But we've got two of them."
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''This is amazing! We didn't expect to find a skiing resort in the Delta Quadrant!"
SilentBob Janeway: "Sir, you appear to have a jockstrap on your head, and I don't want to know what that is strapped to your belt."
RogueSkyknight "...Captain KATHRYN Janeway... of the starship Voyager...HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?!?"
Succ Negations Trying to negotiate for the succ like
Miss Marple Tom hated to go on “away” teams with Janeway because she always seemed to finish her stories with “and we’ll always have Paris".
Miss Marple Sorry ma’am, but at the Intergalactic House of Pancakes, you need to wait to be seated.
Miss Marple Blah-blah-blah... apparently, she had some ‘splaining to do.
Miss Marple After the election, Trump was reduced to selling tee shirts embroidered with his new trade mark “brain on fire” emoticon in the Trump Tower's gift shop.
AJ We have noticed that everybody here wear clothign in the colours; red, orange, yellow and brown. Can you tell us the reason for that?
Apart from the fact that the show has no budget and teh costume designer has no taste? No, not a clue.
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''Hello? Mister? Do you hear me??''
Paris: ''Look at his chest insignia, Captain. He is currently rebooting.''
Bodhi Janeway: "Excuse me officer, I'm looking for one of my crew, an Ensign Upp, first name Beemy. Can you help?"
Paris: *snigger*
Bodhi Janeway: "Excuse me sir, we're looking for a planet, goes by the name of Earth, have you seen it?"
Bodhi Janeway: "No, I don't know how we're all still alive either..."
Bodhi Security personnel who can't hear a thing. Most illogical.
Bodhi Is that a phaser or are you just pleased to see me?
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''We are here because we received a distress signal from another Starfleet vessel - the USS Baton Rouge. Have you heard anything about this ship?''
Police officer: ''Sorry, no. My baton is silver-colored, not red.''
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''Littering? We had to eject our warp core! That's not littering!''
Bird of Prey Genius Bar dude: ''How can I help you?''
Janeway: ''Nothing specific - I am just amazed to find an Apple Store in the Delta Quadrant! Did your company really expand that far, or are you just a cheap knock-off?"
Dee I'm sorry my ship is not parked in the wrong bay, so you can remove the clamp.
Frankie Chestnuts Janeway: "Well, hello there... Is that a night stick in your pocket, or are you-"
Guard: "-yes it is. And I say Mr. Paris... That is a FINE phaser you have in YOUR pocket!"
Paris: "Errr... Thanks?"
N'tran DS 12 A Warp Ten accident waiting to happen.
Chromedome Guard: "I may be wearing a silly headband, but you've got a croissant on your head."
Chromedome Janeway: "It may be keeping your ears warm but please can I have my bra back?"
Guard: (thinks) "I can't hear you!"
Miss Marple Janeway: Do you have one of those Mexican things?
Paris: AGAIN?
Miss Marple Janeway: So... are YOU Bob's big boy?
Mr. President Janeway, her arms wide. Officer, his face indifferent.
RobM Believe me, we don't know what's going through Trump's mind either!
Bird of Prey Personal log of Tom Paris, stardate 54764.8. The Captain has been talking to this man for nearly three hours now, stringing one utterly unfunny anecdote after another. What on Earth was I thinking, volunteering for this diplomatic mission?!
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''Yellowish freckles, light brown whiskers, have you seen him? He's called Neelix.''
Police officer: ''Sorry, no. But perhaps the people at the animal shelter can help?''
Janeway: ''What? Oh no, he is not...''
Paris: ''Captain, let's just go to the animal shelter and take a look.''
MLCoolJ Janeway: *attempts to sign "Where is the bathroom?" but instead signs "Your hovercraft is full of eels"
Tom: *thinking* Wait 'till she finds out that this guy's not deaf.
Miss Marple Janeway: We MUST free The Geek! No one has heard from him...
Guard: The Geek? As you can see, there are no geeks here.
Miss Marple Guard: No, this isn't a "Howard Johnson's". That's next door with the ORANGE roof. We are the one with the PURPLE roof. Best not mix up the two.
Miss Marple Guard: Well, the black band keeps my coiffure in place so perfectly, that no one realizes I wear a hairpiece. (oops)
Miss Marple Janeway: My, what an impressive baton you have.
Guard, to self: I'm so happy she didn't mention my oversized cummerbund!!!
Frankie Chestnuts Alien: "Well, what is it you want?"
Janeway: "We want.....
(pregnant pause)
Paris: "One that looks nice."
Frankie Chestnuts Paris: "Just look at her... Confident... She says what she thinks... Demands attention... A natural leader... But her hands are SO SMALL!"
Miss Marple Tom, I TOLD you I'ld take you for ice-cream, and I'm TAKING you for ice-cream, so tell the nice man what you want.
Frankie Chestnuts Janeway: "But it's almost 25 degrees celsius... WHY would you be wearing ear warmers??"
Frankie Chestnuts Janeway: "Well, I never really saw him. But he claimed his hands were this big... and he was bright orange."
Bird of Prey Janeway: ''We need a cupboard, this wide. Preferably walnut, but oak would be fine too.''
Paris: ''I am so glad that they also have IKEA in the Delta Quadrant!''
Cyrus Ramsay "You haven't seen our starship, have you? I'm sure we parked it somewhere around here."
MLCoolJ Janeway: And it was this big! Seriously, it was the biggest Cardassian vole ever seen. So what we did was...
Man: *thinking* Just smile and nod, smile and nod...
Tom: *thinking* Just skip to the part where the vole bit B'Elanna's butt.

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 3,683 Release date : 30 Nov -0001