Search
Mobile Site Caption Comp Monthly Poll Sudden Death Book Reviews Game Reviews Colour Key Statistics Cookie Usage
Federation Ships Other Ships A-K Fleets Weaponry Species Standard People Timelines Calculators Photo Galleries Temporal
Space Stations Other Ships L-Z Design Lineage Size Charts Battles Alternate People Science / Tech Styling Maps / Politics Temporal Ships
Articles Reviews Lists Recreation Search Site Guide What's New eMail Author Links / Awards Shops Forum
Site
Guide
Main
page

Disclaimers
Site
ethos
Colour
key
Who makes
the site?
F.A.Q. /
Mail Author

Contributors

Statistics

Datapoints
Site
map
Site
Index
Popular
pages
Cookie
useage
EnterEntriesHonour role
PreviousLast monthVote

Caption Competition

Caption comp image

Name Caption
Bird of Prey Kira: ''Can you please lend me your towel?''
Man: ''Sorry, but right now I am needing it myself!''
N'tran DS 12 With a sophisticated holographic cloak,Quark gets Major Kira in bed with him.....almost.
The Geek Kira: "The doctor says you will probably have to live with this condition for the rest of your life."
Guy: "Could I get a second opinion?"
Kira: "Your breath is atrocious."
Frankie Chestnuts ...another outtake from the classic 1997 John Travolta / Nicholas Cage thriller: "Face/Off.
.
Guess which one is Nicholas Cage.
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "Well... the doctor has good and Bad news about your vasectomy operation..."
Bird of Prey Man: ''Instead of kidnapping me, you could simply have asked me out, you know?''
jg Man: Where are my pants?
Kira: Honey,where I'm taking you, you won't need pant ever again.
jg Man: What happed?
Kira: You took a glancing blow from a Vulcan Death Fart. Ensign Smith wasn't so lucky. He took the full force of it. His memorial service is being held tomorrow.
jg Man: I feel like I have been hit by a shuttlecraft. What happened?
Kira: Funny you should ask, you were hit by a shuttlecraft.
Kent But seriously, you'll leave me your boombox though right?
C. W. Perkins Kira: They told me that you're gay.
Man: That's right.
Kira: After what we just did, are you going to stay gay?
Man: Well yeah. It is my name after all. But I wouldn't mind another kiss.
C. W. Perkins Look, Handsome, what happens on DS9 stays on DS9.
Miss Marple Does THIS hurt?
Miss Marple Kira: Let me explain "REBRANDING" again...
Miss Marple Kira: I'm so sorry... you deserve better than this... but in August, the entries always drop off... everybody is on vacation...
Miss Marple Wait, Santorum means WHAT?!?!?
N'tran DS 12 According to Hitchhiker's Guide a towel is essential. In this case, the towel is critical.
The Geek Guy: (wakes up) "So I trust my tooth extraction procedure went well?"
Kira: "Er... tooth extraction?"
Guy: "Yeah, one of my wisdom teeth. You know, routine procedure."
Kira: (looks down at giant chest scar) "Look, now don't get mad, but I think I have some bad news..."
11001001 Morn's bar fighting skills sent another victim to sickbay.
11001001 Bajoran hairstyles weren't much different from each other.
11001001 Kira: "That will teach you to not get into a wet towel fight with me"
Man: "what were you doing in that locker room anyway?"
11001001 Man: "Why are you wrinkling your nose at me?"
Kira: "My nose comes that way."
11001001 With reports of Kira exploiting patients on DS9, Odo goes undercover.
11001001 Kira: "Your kidney will fetch a high price on the black market."
Mr. Worf Excuse me ..... Would ...you .. like a new towel ?
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "One word of advice... NEVER again run into Quarks screaming that the Prophets are just aliens that live in the wormhole!!"
dude on couch Man. `Kira what happened. Why am I here.`
Kira. `Dont you remember are wedding night.`
Bird of Prey Kira: ''Now please tell me what happened.''
Patient: ''Well, I was in the holosuite, running a sauna program...''
Kira: ''Oh really? Tell me, did this 'sauna program' happen to include... oh, I don't know... Vulcan love slaves?''
The Geek Kira: "Thanks, Odo. I really appreciate the effort."
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "Pssst... I got your worm hole RIGHT HERE!!!"
AJ I'm afraid it's true. We have amputated everything below your waist.
canary wharf OpByTE Really enjoyed this article.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.
Miss Marple Now listen carefully: At some point during the vasectomy procedure the doctor is going to say "A LITTLE PRICK!".
He always says that to alert you before he injects the anesthetic.
He's not talking smack about your junk, so JUST STAY STILL. and don't jump up and hit him like the last guy did.
And don't start laughing...
Miss Marple Doctor Who?
C. W. Perkins Man: Where are my clothes?
Kira: Clothes? Where you're going you won't need clothes.
Man: You know that's a cheap parody.
Kira: Yeah, but I like it.
Man: I'm doomed. There's no way out for the prince this time.
Kira: Try it, you'll like it.
Man: My name's not MIKEY!
The Geek Kira: "Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"
Guy: (cough cough) "I'll take the bad news first."
Kira: "Okay, the doctor says you have less than a week to live, and you will be in pain for most of that time."
Guy: "By the Prophets! What's the good news?"
Kira: "They're naming the disease after you."
Admiral Dunsel Kira: "Ah, you're awake. You'll be glad to know that the Gender Reassignment surgery was completely successful, and I wish you and Chief O'Brien the best of happiness together."
Keiko: "Whaa? This is all because of my teaching Wormhole Science facts to the kids at school, right?"
Fuzzy My parents will be here at noon. The story is that we met three months ago at a religious education expo. Play it cool, and you get to see your children again.
Bird of Prey Kira: ''And what's your name, handsome? Torso Chesterton?''
Bird of Prey Man: ''See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest!''
Kira: ''I have one made from real Cardassian chest!''
AJ Please let me introduce you to an old human custom known as 'waterboarding'.
Bird of Prey Major Kira and Bajoran Tarzan
astronichols Nurse(off screen): Doctor, the patient is regaining consciousness.
Kira: My gorilla mask is going to be so hilarious...
Bird of Prey Kira: ''Tell me what I want to know, or I'll pull out every single hair on your chest, one by one...''
N'tran DS 12 "Welcome sports fans to a one fall match.
The contestants are Red Shirt vs. No Shirt.
Red Shirts are not usually a fan favorite,
but in this case there may be an upset."
The Geek Kira: "A set of jumper cables walks into a bar..."
Guy: (cough cough)... "Please stop... I'm dying..."
Kira: "The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but you better not try to start anything!'"
Guy: "..."
Kira: "YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO START ANYTHING!"
The Geek Kira: "An atom walks into a bar and looks very confused. The bartender says, 'What's wrong?' The atom says, 'I think I lost an electron.'
Guy: (cough cough)... "Please stop... I'm dying..."
Kira: "The bartender says, 'Are you sure?' The atom says, 'I'm positive!"
Guy: "..."
Kira: "I'M POSITIVE!"
The Geek Kira: "A pirate walks into a doctor's office, and he has a steering wheel coming out of the fly of his pants. The doctor points this out..."
Guy: (cough cough)... "Please stop... I'm dying!"
Kira: "...and the pirate says, 'Arr, and it's driving me nuts!"
Guy: "..."
Kira: "IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!"
The Geek Kira: "What do you call a bee having a bad hair day?"
Guy: (cough cough)... "Please,stop.... I'm dying..."
Kira: "A frisbee!"
Guy: "..."
Kira: "A FRISBEE!"
tHE gEEK Kira: "WhAt does a ghost wear when its raining outside?"
Guy: (cough cough)... "Please, stop.... I'm dying..."
Kira: "Boooooooooooooots!"
Guy: "..."
Kira: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTS!"
The Geek Kira: "What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee?"
Guy: (cough cough)... "Please,stop. I'm dying..."
Kira: "A bah-humbug!"
Guy: "..."
Kira: "A BAH-HUMBUG!"
The Geek Kira: "If an elephant's front legs are doing 55 miles per hour, what are it's back legs doing?"
Guy: (cough cough)... "Please,stop. I'm dying..."
Kira: "Hauling ass!"
Guy: "..."
Kira: "HAULING ASS!"
The Geek Kira: "Why can't you play poker in Africa?"
Guy: (cough cough)... "Please, stop. I'm dying..."
Kira: "Because of all the cheetahs!"
Guy: "..."
Kira: "BECAUSE OF ALL THE CHEETAHS!"
The Geek Kira: "Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?"
Guy: (cough cough)... "please stop... I'm dying..."
Kira: "To get to the same side!"
Guy: "..."
Kira: "TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!"
The Geek Kira: "This reminds me. It's time for my yearly chest waxing!"
Guy: "Eww..."
Bird of Prey Kira: ''Hello, handsome man! Do you come here often?''
Man: ''To sickbay? More often than I'd prefer...''
Frankie Chestnuts Patient: "Excuse me... But isn't this the MEN'S Steam Room?"
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "Don't worry... Just leave yourself in MY hands."
Patient: "That's what you said the LAST time."
Miss Marple Kira: Well, let's just say there were problems with your breast augmentation surgery...
Miss Marple Kira: Well, let's just say that I'd worry less about that big bruise on your head...
Miss Marple Kira: Well, you were very, very drunk...
Miss Marple "Traditional healers say they can cure impotence by rubbing up against a man." I heard Paula Poundstone say it on NPR's "wait wait... don't tell me!" It's gotta work.
Miss Marple The ancient fire treatment, also known as Chinese Viagra, fire crotch, or little burning man works like this. You lay on a massage table, you wrap a towel doused in herbal oil around your "waist" and then you light the towel on fire. I heard it on NPR. I'm sure it works.
Miss Marple Moxibustion: An Ancient Fire Acupuncture Therapy... it's more than likely a cure for impotence.
Bird of Prey Kira: ''A Cardassian has stolen your uniform, you say? And I am supposed to believe that?''
Bird of Prey Kira: ''Dr. Bashir will be here in a minute for removing the bandage under the loincloth. But before that happens, I have to tell you something important, in order to minimize your shock...''
Patient: ''OK then. What is it, Major?''
Kira: ''Well, let me put it this way... Do you know the meaning of the term 'eunuch'?''
Ithekro KIRA: So do you come here often?
MAN: Every Sunday morning.
KIRA: Good, I'll make it a habit.
N'tran DS 12 "Kiss me, you fool."
Cyrus Ramsay kirk; the fragrance for spacemen.
Admiral Dunsel There seems to be a problem with your healthcare plan. We'll have to put the tumor back in.
Horta not Vorta For an erection that lasts longer than an hour, consult a physician,
Not the hot woman that gave you that erection.
Bird of Prey Kira: ''I think your scars are incredibly sexy! How did you get them? Battling Cardassians??''
Man: ''I fell down the stairs...''
drmrs I want you to enter my dream world (a psychic mind meld ).
PegasusJF Yep, looks can kill
jey Kira indulges in another KUNG FU STARING CONTEST
PegasusJF Tryouts for the role of Caprica 6.
PegasusJF Are you fully functional?
PegasusJF What Kira lacked in beside manner she made up for in patient throughput.
PegasusJF When you are a former Cardassian collaborator scum that is NOT that face you want to wake up to.
PegasusJF Voiceover: When you are diagnosed with testicular cancer be sure to give us a call, our specialists have a
Man: AUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
Voiceover: 100% success rate with no relapse!
mwhittington Patient: Will the doctor be here soon?
Kira: Yes, don't worry. He's finishing up a tonsilectomy right now.
Bashir (offscreen): Tonsilectomy!? I thought you said testiclectomy!
Kira: Uh, well...something that starts with the letter "T" has been removed, anyway.
PegasusJF Kira: Hello sir, I will be your anesthesiologist for this operation.
Man: Where's the medicine
Kira: Right here,
Man: AAAUUUUUGGGGHH....
PegasusJF When not working as the Bajoran liason to the station, Kira had a profitable side business in castration.
Bird of Prey Kira: ''What happened? Why are you beaten up that badly?''
Patient: ''Well, I was participating in that boxing tournament. I was doing pretty well, but then...''
Kira: ''Then what?''
Patient: ''My last opponent was Benjamin Sisko!''
Kira: ''And?''
Patient: ''He is the Emissary! Do you expect me, a devout follower of the Prophets, to punch the Emissary!?''
C. W. Perkins Patient: Am I okay?
Kira: You're just fine. In fact you're even better and I'm here for a test drive you might say.
Patient: Ooohhh Mmmyyy.
ADM Adam "Stop looking at me!"
Borg Kira is horrible at cheering people up.
Chromedome Don't worry, the doctor will be along soon to give you a toupee-ectomy.
Chromedome This is NOT Magaluf, and I am NOT doing that just to get a free drink!
Chromedome Listen sunshine, I don't care what your agent told you about this part, get your butt down to the costume department and get dressed.
Admiral ED ME WANT SNU, SNU!!!
Bird of Prey Kira: ''Hello! Dr. Bashir told me that there is an erectile disfunction to cure here...''
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "I truely appoligize for ripping your heart out. I was really under the impression that you were a Cardassian spy... my mistake.
C. W. Perkins Kira: What's your name, Handsome?
Patient: Kenny.
Kira: That's nice. I'm scripted by the writers to kill you.
Patient: You Bastard.
Kira: Wrong sex, but that's okay.
Bird of Prey Kira: ''I admit, your chest is impressive - but not as impressive as that of Khan Noonien Singh!''
astronichols We see now a perfect example of a Bajoran terrorist dye-job.
Rylan Sato Morn gives the best massages and happy endings.
mwhittington Kira: Don't worry. Dr. Bashir will perform your vasectomy shortly. After all of those scotches he had to pee like a race horse.
Miss Marple NO, these are not the "orbs of hotness", and don't demean my beliefs! My "hour-glass figure" is the only orb of hotness around here.
Miss Marple Kira: WOW, when you said it was "ALL in his head ", you were not kidding!
Miss Marple Does anybody else see this and NOT think "massage parlor"?
Miss Marple Kira: I KNOW that wearing a thong is uncomfortable, but it's the ONLY way the Emissary has shown us to avoid showing any PANTY LINE. - The Emissary INSISTS!
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "Hey, baby. You got girlfriend on Bajor?"
Patient: "Not just this minute."
Kira: "Well, baby, me so horny. Me so HORNY. Me love you long time. You party?"
Patient: "Yeah, I might party. How much?"
Kira: "Fifteen dollar."
Patient: "Fifteen dollar too beaucoup. Five dollars."
Kira: "Me love you too much."
Patient: "Five dollars is all my mom allows me to spend."
Miss Marple Kira: SERIOUSLY? THAT is the body part you are choosing to cover?
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "We're you BORN with a head that huge, or have you been talking to Commander Riker?"
Frankie Chestnuts Kira: "I've just GOT to ask... WHO does your hair??"
ktasay Kira: One Bajoran Full-body wax coming up!
jg Kira: and remember, when Big Tony tell yous to pay up, You pay up. Next time, you will need more than a hospital bed to recover.
MLCoolJ Kira: I heard that you were feeling ill
Headache, fever, and a chill
I came to help restore your pluck
'Cause I'm the nurse who likes to--
Bashir: *offscreen* Kira! Stop trying to seduce my patients!
Bird of Prey Kira: ''Nice chest hair, but not nearly as impressive as that of Commander Riker.''
Miss Marple Listen up, soldier: there are NO HAPPY ENDINGS... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Miss Marple Bad nose jobs... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Miss Marple Bad hand jobs... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE,
MLCoolJ *insert sexy jazz music*

Entries : 114People : 0

Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 2,133 Last updated : 30 Nov -0001