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T. Kirk




Star Trek XI
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Caption Competition

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Name Caption
Mr. Worf Nice spray stucco work Mr. Spock . !
Stef Spock: "Cause of death...His computer had internet dial up and while it was taking its time to 'dial up' as it were, the computer rerouted all available energy to its processor including the heater. Turns out, they both froze up."
N'tran DS 12 "Quick, Spock, take a reading."

"Sorry, I left my tricorder on the wild, chunky, spunky planet of Mary Lou Retton clones."

"Spock, you are such a putz."

[Quoted from "Bloom County".]
AJ "What do you think his last thoughts were like?"
"He was pobably dreaming of a white christmas."
AJ "What do you think his last thoughts were like?"
He was pobably dreaming of awhite christmas."
AJ Let's go back to the ship and get a blowtorch to thaw him out. That haidryer of yours isn't getting the job done.
AJ Let's go back to the ship and get a blowtorch to Thaw him out. That haidryer of yours isn't getting the job done.
=/\= Quad Captain, we are fairly certain that we have eradicated the ebola virus once and for all.
mwhittington Spock: It appears as though his collection of arboreal seeds from this sector are frozen as well, Captain.
Kirk: Wonderful! It'll take forever to thaw out his nuts...
Scarlet72 Guy on left: "Um Brian?"
Brian: "what is it, im busy"
Guy on left: "I dont think that hairdryers gonna defrost him man..."
Brian "NO Steve, we must have HOPE!"
Scarlet72 most people mis interperate this famous scene, its actual the lost island of atlantis, and all the white stuff is barnakles and a mysticle white algie!
Scarlet72 tell jerry that the special effects for the stage production of frozen were a bit too realistc...
Kogenta Learn this lesson Ensign, "Don't do cocaine."
Q The Styrofoam Planet was perhaps one of the oddest Spock had ever encountered.
Miss Marple The readings suggest that smaller portions of spray-on Raita would suffice.
DBB No one was more embarrassed than Spock when he and Kirk showed up wearing the same shower curtain.
DBB Offworlders had to wear protective suits when visiting the planet Cocaine.
DBB "According to my readings...this man has freezer-burn."
Bird of Prey That's what happens if you don't bother to repair a broken thermostat...
Frankie Chestnuts Frankie Chestnuts: "Yeah... This is him."
The Geek: "I guess this explains what happened to Mr. President."
C. W. Perkins This, crewman, is what happens when the study of snowman farts goes horribly wrong.
Bird of Prey Beware! It's the Abominable Snowman!
Bird of Prey Not on every planet the crew of the Enterprise is welcome. Sometimes the reception can be rather frosty.
The Geek Mr. President: "You got him?"
The Geek: "Yeah, and look at this book he's holding: '1,001 Funny Captions for All Occasions'."
N'tran DS 12 USS Polar Vortex
Frankie Chestnuts It's the ol' put the frozen guy's hand in a bucket of ice water and watch the fun ploy...
Frankie Chestnuts Ensign: "Tough way to go... Death by Dandruff..."
Spock: "A little 'Head and Shoulders' would have gone a long way."
Frankie Chestnuts Ensign: "Gotta be the WORST case of dandruff I've ever seen."
Rylan Sato Forget the frozen guy. Why are we wearing suits that look like Betsy Ross got her hands on a shower curtain?
Rylan Sato I don't think this hair dryer will do the trick.
N'tran DS 12 Best Served Cold ?
Andy Man on left: And not a chestnut in sight...
Spock: Indeed, sir, humour such as that chills even the best of us to the bone.
Andy Shatner (frozen): Spock, this is the Final straw... there's really... no need! for this Frontier justice!
Andy Spock: Dr. McCoy drained the last of our cordrazine...
Guy on left: Damn, I hope... - ah, well, good.
Andy Nimoy decided that if this promotional still was going to work one of his colleagues was going to need a little help...
MLCoolJ To add insult to injury: not only is this man frozen over, he's still on hold with the HP call center.
N'tran DS 12 Cold Station 13 ?
mwhittington Spock: Fascinating. Captain, I do believe we found the powdered sugar that the chef complained was missing.
Bird of Prey ''Oh the irony! He froze to death while contemplating which package of frozen food he should thaw...''
jg Rick James in da house!
jg It's still warmer than my ex girlfriends heart.
jg Damn it! I know letting a Breen control the thermostat was a bad idea.
Frankie Chestnuts The Geek: "Do you think we got him?"
Mr. President: "YOU KNOW IT! Frankie Chestnuts will NEVER cross our paths again."
Bird of Prey Man on the left: ''That's him! That's the fugitive!''
Man on the right: ''FREEZE!!''
mikey "Dude, that will never work. Your hair dryer isn't even plugged in!"
EMH_MkI Receptionist: I'm sorry, but the slushy machine in the lobby has malfunctioned. Please come back later.
Shatner: !? I traveled 500 lightyears for this???
EMH_MkI Kirk: Use a phaser.
Spock: No.
Kirk: But it'll be MUCH faster.
Spock: That's what she said.
Frozen Guy: Ohhhh, BURNNNNN!!!!
EMH_MkI And the irony was Spock was packing so much heat he had sucked it right out the room.
EMH_MkI So Arnold Schwarzenegger took a stroll through Studio B spouting really bad cold puns. Now look what they've got to work with.
EMH_MkI The job was to popcorn texture everything but this is ridiculous.
EMH_MkI Nimoy: Do you remember that time when I said I'll teach you how to do the Vulcan hand sign when hell freezes over?
Shatner: Yeah.
Nimoy: I lied.
blumenblatt the latest methods used on the fight against ebola
Frankie Chestnuts Frozen Dude: "I once caught a frozen fish THISSSS LOOOONG."
MLCoolJ So far, the tests of Starfleet's new "Chameleon" space suits were showing great promise. Spock was particularly impressed with their performance during the "ice planet" phase.
Frankie Chestnuts Spock: "By Grabthar's Hammer!! That must have been SOME party!!"
Frozen Dude: "Hey, guys... Never give up... Never surrender. And please keep it down."
Miss Marple Phall.
Faal, fahl, phaal, phal, paal... Whatever he ate, it was hotter than hell!
Frankie Chestnuts Spock: "By Grabthar's Hammer!! That must have been SOME party!!"
Bird of Prey Man on the right: ''It work! It works! Our ice ray really works!! Hooray!''
Man on the left: ''But wasn't it supposed to be a heat ray?''
Man on the right: ''Shush!''
MLCoolJ Spock: When I said "Freeze," I didn't mean it so...literally.
Admiral Dunsel Here we see that originally in the "Tomorrow is Yesterday" episode, the photographic evidence of the Enterprise's visit to Earth's past crash-landed to Earth at Ice Station Zebra.
Spock's landing party have to arrive there to recover it before the Americans or Russians get there.
Ithekro Time for a core sample....
Nerd907 "My scans indicate that this man died while binge-watching Disney movies. If my calculations are correct, he last one he saw was 'Frozen'."
Nerd907 Long before Spock brought a marshmallow dispenser to Yosemite, he took a Pringles dispenser to Psi 2000.
Nerd907 Well, SOMEBODY went overboard with the Spackle.
Nerd907 Oh the weather inside is frightful...
Chromedome Extra (thinks): $50 isn't enough if I have to earn it by being covered in foam.
Chromedome "What's that in his right hand?"
"It appears to be a box of 'Frosty Flakes' breakfast cereal."
"Wow, so the advertising is true. It does give a frosty start to your day!"
Chromedome The secret Frosty Fart weapon was a success.
Chromedome Come up to the lab and see what's on the slab.
Chromedome Cluedo: It was Mr. Spock with the ice gun in the lab!
Chromedome Captain Birds Eye, I presume
Sondak Alright, freeze! Oh...
Sondak This one could be tough. Better dust for prints.
Sondak I told you an antimatter-powered Reddi-wip can was a bad idea!
CaptainNed Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Miss Marple Spock: These readings show that he waiting for the IT guy to show up.
Miss Marple While at Star Fleet academy, Spock worked summers renovating houses with, of course, the occasional prank.
mwhittington Kirk: Seems to me he got too stressed out and just... froze up!
mwhittington Spock: Fascinating. Captain, it appears his 20 condoms of China White burst... all over the place.
Mr. X Mr. Spock !!! Is that the only heater you could get ????
Mr. Worf I think this spray foam gun needs some adjustment.
Borg Baby, it's cold outside...
Bird of Prey Man on the left: ''For some reason I am now hungry for fish fingers... Or chicken nuggets... Something deep-fried anyway.''
liquidcross All right, everyone...chill!
Miss Marple Tech on left: I told him to not order the Vindaloo...
Frankie Chestnuts Behind the scenes at The Academy Awards... It's all about a ton of cocaine and really bizarre outfits.
Frankie Chestnuts Spock: "OK... Freeze!!"
Frankie Chestnuts Spock: "OK... Freeze!!"
Tormolen: "Wow... Irony?"
Spock: "Irony."
Andy An admirable attempt to finish In Search of Lost Time, the tome still clutched in his right hand
Andy The day hell did indeed freeze over... Yes it was really was that bad in TOS's third season.
Andy "Oh God... How did he die?"
"I can only surmise... that he remained at his station, attempting to win that farcical DITL Caption Competition, while his race destroyed itself and brought about a nuclear winter."
Andy Spock misinterprets his race's concept of propagating ice cold logic a little too literally.
Andy Kirk: Gentlemen, report.
Spock, on communicator: Captain. We have discovered what appears to be a typical reproduction of a 20th century Earth post office.
NASCARtographer In retrospect, Starfleet Command regretted its rather poorly worded cancellation of the Psi 2000 Research Project when it issued the command to "Put it on Ice."
NASCARtographer Extreme Home Makeover Psi 2000 Edition had all the makings of a hit, until the Great Spray Popcorn Ceiling Disaster of '65.
NASCARtographer Desperate to milk every last sent out of the once bountiful cash cow, Paramount unsuccessfully put their efforts into the family friendly but ill conceived "Star Trek On Ice."
NASCARtographer "And by freezing the patient we succesfully cure the Ebola." "But what do we do with the frozen body?" "Eh, let someone in the 24th century thaw them out. I hear that works!"
Bird of Prey Man on the left: ''I don't know as much about this stuff as Dr. McCoy, , but I THINK this man's cause of death was the immense cold.''
Man on the right: ''A rather far-fetched assumption. Let's not jump to conclusions here.''
mckinneyc Spock goes mad with his new fire proofing application gun
lexxonnet Chill
MLCoolJ Spock figured that his submission for the annual ice-sculpting contest was guaranteed to win.
Frankie Chestnuts "It could have be worse... He might have misplaced his suit."
Frankie Chestnuts During the filming of "The Incredibles", a horrible accident occurred when Frozone's freeze ray malfunctioned.
AJ Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
AJ Is it cold in here, or is it just me.
AJ Freeze!!!
AJ I don't know what you think you're doing, but shooting this guy in the head seems overkill.
Cyrus Ramsay Spock was just a little late with the Thermos.
Cyrus Ramsay A touch of red can really warm up a room.
The Geek Especially in the future, NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Miss Marple NEVER, EVER sit there idly thinking "What's the worst that could happen?"
Miss Marple Blinded with SCIENCE!
The Geek Don't worry, everybody. Keith Richards survived his latest binge.
Bird of Prey Man on the left: ''I am growing sick of being on a starship! Why can't I have an assignment on a space station, like this one here?''
Man on the right: ''What is so much better about a space station?''
Man on the left: ''Just look around! Look as this guy! Here is where all the cool people are!''
Frankie Chestnuts Ensign 1: "Hmmm.... Maybe you should turn that thing down a little. I think you overdid it."
Miss Marple Ebola hype never gets too irrational.
Frankie Chestnuts The Department of Motor Vehicles Waiting Rooms......
Frankie Chestnuts Frozen Dude: "HEY! Shut that DAMN DOOR!! It's colder than a witch's nacelle out there!
Miss Marple ... the benefits of cold cereal for breakfast -my ass!
Frankie Chestnuts Frozen Dude: "Shut that door, will you. I'm feeling a draft."
Miss Marple Love the "high-tech" chair.
Frankie Chestnuts Ensign 1: "It looks like the 'Tetris' game he was playing is still running."
Ensign 2: "Ooo, ooo... I love that game. Me next!"
Miss Marple The weather gnomes... IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!
Frankie Chestnuts Ensign: "It looks like the 'Tetris' game he was playing is still running."
Miss Marple Well, turns out it does need to be a cold day in hell before help arrives.
Frankie Chestnuts "I don't care what the Captain says... This turkey isn't going to be thawed in time for Thanksgiving Dinner."
Frankie Chestnuts Ensign: "It really doesn't look like it's doing anything. Turn the hair dryer up to 'Medium'."
Miss Marple Finally, hair salons comply with OSHA regulations.
Frankie Chestnuts "It looks like he's been watching an episode of an old earth adventure series about the exploration of space... Or a cheesy remake of that episode."
Miss Marple He thought he was so hot. That'll teach him!
Miss Marple I believe this will finally slow down Frankie Chestnuts...
The Geek Tech on right: “♪You’re as cold as ice, you’re willing to sacrifice our love…♪”
Tech on left: “You just couldn’t resist, could you?”
The Geek Guy on left: "Wow, it is amazing how this 'frost' looks so much like spray-applied foam!"
Director: "CUT!"
The Geek Tech on right: "According to these readings, Ensign Cokehead succumbed to..."
Tech on left: "A cocaine overdose?"
Tech in right: "... hypothermia."
Tech on left: "Oh! Uh... well... er... I just thought... you know, never mind."
The Geek Tech on right: "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"
Guy in chair: "Oh, shut up."
The Geek Ah, the ol' "Plunge the room's temperature to arctic levels in one minute" prank claims another victim!

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Copyright Graham Kennedy Page views : 1,563 Release date : 1 Nov 2014