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| Name | Caption |
| Phil | USS Copernicus to Deep Space 9, I have the greatest pleasure to announce that Ambassador Lwaxana Troi will be arriving shortly. Phew. Ensign McKnight set a course anywhere, maximum warp. |
| Phil | In space no one can see you smile. |
| Phil | Get that dog out of Opps! It has made a mess of the carpet. |
| Jacob | Sisko: Strange Alien, Check. Annoying British guy, Check. Sexpot, Check. And black jerk, Check-a-lek a ding-dong. |
| nerd86 | Sisko: This is a nice bar you've got here, Quark. It'd be awful terrible if something bad were to happen to it. Odo: Yeah, awful terrible. Sisko: Of course, we could make sure nothing like that ever happened... for a small fee. Odo: Something real bad could happen at any time. Dax: Everyone pays Don Sisko, Quark, everyone. Bashir: You'd be smart to just pay. Odo: Something awful bad. |
| nerd86 | DS9's annual A cappella quartet contest was canceled after all of the competing teams had their knee caps shattered under mysterious circumstances... that is except for the team of the Captain and Head of Security... not that I'm making any accusations. |
| nerd86 | Bashir: *Smugness* Sisko: *anger* Odo: *curiosity* Dax: *ma-ma-ma-my pokerface, pokerface, can't read my* |
| nerd86 | Whenever Starfleet had a problem with one of Kirk's command decisions he would tell him that he is responsible for the 400 lives on his ship and that a Captain must be allowed creative leeway to get the job done. Whenever Starfleet had a problem with one of Sisko's command decisions he would tell them "Don't hate the playa hate the game." |
| nerd86 | Sisko thinking: I can't stand Kira's annoying voice anymore. Dax thinking: I think I should go back to being a guy... ooh or maybe I should, like, be a dog once... that would be cool. Bashir thinking: I wonder what sex is like... I mean with a woman, of course. Odo thinking: I bet Dax is wondering what it's like to be a dog... been there, done that honey. |
| nerd86 | Sisko: I can't believe she wore white. What a slut. |
| nerd86 | The Caption Competition will now be monthly due to a lack of funny looking still frames from Star Trek DS9. There are still plenty from Voyager, and Enterprise, and the original series, and the first three seasons of TNG... but sadly there are none left from DS9. As a matter of fairness we at DITL do not discriminate based on series (no matter how much Enterprise sucked) and therefore cannot in good conscience remove DS9 from it's regular position in the Competition. To alleviate the problem the Caption Competition will become the "Riff on this short clip" Competition in May. Short two minute clips from various episodes will be shown on the Enter page. Fans will be asked to upload their riffs in mp3 format. The winner will be determined by a Round Robin double elimination tournament. References to Monty Python will be limited to once per clip, absolutely no Biggus Dickus or Butt Pirates of Rigel VII jokes will be tolerated. Participants will be limited to one win per year or face decapitation at the hands of our newest moderator Jake Balrogson (he's very sensitive about his name so don't bring up LOTR). Those with questions regarding the new system can email me at Nerd86@SendHelpI'mTrappedInAFreezer.gov.br or tough it out in the Wastelands. Thank you. (This message has been paid for by the committee to re-elect Senator Strom Thurmond. "Just because he's d-e-a-d, doesn't mean he can't l-e-a-d.) |
| Rylan Sato | Odo: This isn't what it looks like. He may be black and I may be chief of security but I am not arresting him. |
| Legion | "Okay, we've got faar to few redshirts on the show, so we're gonna..." Let's just say he never finished the sentence. |
| Chromedome | NO, you do a wedgie like THIS! |
| Chromedome | This week on "Star Trek's Got Talent", Quark's ventriloquism act gets off to a bad start when he uses Sisko as the dummy. |
| Chromedome | Sisko: "Oww, I was only joking when I said you could twist my arm ..." |
| Chromedome | A line up of the "Usual Suspects" |
| maverick 22x | Oh great who let Shattner on set? |
| Kent | Their reaction after their request for an interesting gay character on the show was denied. Again. |
| Kent | The general looks on their faces when taking direction from Berman. |
| Kent | If you change my hair or beard one more time I SWEAR to god. |
| Kent | Sisko: You mean we don't have a ship? |
| mwhittington | Sisko: "We're laughing on inside, Quark, ..." |
| Jake | Sisko:Jake, now's not a good time to play 'Halo' on the main viewer. Jake: But dad... |
| Jake | Worf: And, oh, by the way, I had a fender-bender with the Defiant... |
| Eran | No, Worf, we don't like your new suit. |
| Ithekro | No, no. I think I've heard this joke before. |
| Captain Worf | Try as they might, even the four of them combined could not stare down Montgomery Scott. |
| Captain Worf | "A month?! You mean we have to wait like this for an entire MONTH now?" |
| sentinel64 | After watching Kevin Costner in the Untouchables, the DS9 crew had to do the pose at every opportunity... the rest of the crew were ready to touch them with phasers on heavy stun. |
| Jonesy | "Chief, please put your pants back on!" |
| Volyova | My god... he's hair really is amazing. |
| Blaston Phools | *A Crewman steps out from Sisko's Office* "Phew.. I wouldnt goin there for about a half hour.. Seriously! Oh and by the way your toilet wont flush and your out of paper.." |
| Blaston Phools | Sisko: "Chief! Then next time you come here straight from one of your WW2 holonovels, PLEASE remember change out of that SS Uniform!" |
| Blaston Phools | "..And all of a sudden, all they could hear was luvely luvely Ludwig" |
| Mr. President | Worf: (off screen) "So the Belosian freighter will be docking tomorrow at 0800 and ... what are you all staring at me for?" Sisko: "No reason." |
| Mr. President | Worf: (off screen) "So the Belosian freighter will be docking tomorrow at 0800 and ... what are you all staring at me for?" Sisko: "We know a Klingon fart when we feel one, Commander." |
| Mr. President | Worf: (off screen) "So the Belosian freighter will be docking tomorrow at 0800 and ... what are you all staring at me for?" Sisko: "We know a Klingon fart when we see one, Commander." |
| Mr. President | Worf: (off screen) "So the Belosian freighter will be docking tomorrow at 0800 and ... what are you all staring at me for?" Sisko: "We know a Klingon fart when we smell one, Commander." |
| Mr. President | Worf: (off screen) "So the Belosian freighter will be docking tomorrow at 0800 and ... what are you all staring at me for?" Sisko: "We know a Klingon fart when we hear one, Commander." |
| Mr. President | "Okay, so the Original Series got an HD remaster, the Next Generation's getting an HD remaster -- we're next, right? Right?" |
| PHRobertson | "O'Brien, if you don't stop humming the Top Gear theme over there, I swear I'll..." |
| PHRobertson | "I can't wait 'til we get the new commbadges..." |
| PHRobertson | The annual DS9 Musical Statues Competition, now down to its last four competitors. |
| PHRobertson | "What're you lot staring at?" "What're WE staring at!?! You're the ones sitting there trying to think of something funny to say about us!" |
| PHRobertson | "What're you lot staring at?" |
| PHRobertson | "Who's that ugly so-and-so?" "Oh, that's the winner of last week's caption competition - I think they're looking for two victories in a row." "And... we're the caption? Just the four of us standing here?" "Looks like it." "Well, best of luck to 'em then, because I can't think of anything." |
| PHRobertson | "Who's that ugly so-and-so?" "Oh, that's the winner of last week's caption competition - I think they're looking for two victories in a row." |
| Fuzzy | No, Chief, we did not appreciate your programming the replicators to add ghost peppers to everything. |
| C. W. Perkins | Lwaxana(off screen): Ah Benji, there you are. Bashir(gasping): Sir?! Dax: Captain, you didn't. Sisko: It just happened. Odo: I told you that you'd eventually pay for getting into Worf's stash of Blood wine, but even this is more than I ever expected. Dax: So when's the wedding? Sisko: Shut up Old Man. |
| C. W. Perkins | Bashir: Listen, do you hear that? Dax: Sounds like a Klingon drinking song. Sisko: I'll bet Worf got into the blood wine again. Odo: Humph. Sounds a little off-key if you ask me. Dax: Careful Odo. I've seen someone after they told a Klingon that his singing was off-key and there wasn't much left of him after the Klingon was done. Sisko: Yeah, I'd hate the idea of you spending the rest of your life in a bucket. Bashir: I think I'll go see if Miles wants to play some 'Alamo'. |
| PegasusJF | The command staff during a red-shirt funeral. |
| PegasusJF | A relatively unknown but still tacitally enforced custom is that woman and children get first dibs for seats during long boring lectures. |
| PegasusJF | After many months of sweet talking, hugs, darling smiles, and downright STARES the Care Bears just couldn't reach this bunch. |
| PegasusJF | No...we do not care. |
| PegasusJF | Off-screen: We're prototyping this new technology that should prove useful in our struggle against the Dominion. Off-screen 2: What is it called? Off-screen: It's called the "Cold Shoulder." Off-screen 2: Brilliant! |
| C. W. Perkins | And the winner of this months 'Simmon Says' competition is Dax. |
| PegasusJF | Off-screen: We're prototyping this new technology that should prove useful in our struggle against the Dominion. Off-screen 2: What is it called? Off-screen: It's called the "Icy Stare." Off-screen 2: Brilliant! |
| PegasusJF | Off-screen: We're prototyping this new technology that should prove useful in our struggle against the Dominion. Off-screen 2: What is it called? Off-screen: It's called the "Eye Dagger." Off-screen 2: Brilliant! |
| PegasusJF | Off-screen: We're prototyping this new technology that should prove useful in our struggle against the Dominion. Off-screen 2: What is it called? Off-screen: It's called the "Death Glare." Off-screen 2: Brilliant! |
| C. W. Perkins | Ladies and Gentlemen! Introducing the DS9 Quartet! |
| PegasusJF | After being buffeted by strange forces, fighting off alien invasions and just dealing with general screw ups the DS9 command crew became numb to it all. |
| C. W. Perkins | Bashir: Was that Quark? Dax: Did he do what I thought I saw him do? Sisko: Yes it was. I'm stunned too. He actually gave to someone in need. Odo: Where's the Enterprise? I think I need a session with Counselor Troi or, maybe, a transfer would be in order. I think DS9 will never be the same again. |
| C. W. Perkins | Sisko: Odo have you ever thought about using color when you morph your clothes. Brown is just, well, so dull. |
| PegasusJF | Attention Caption Competition Contestants: Welcome. These are your judges, they are quite upset to be here. For one month you will have to prove to these utterly humorless jerks that you possess the keenest wit, the keenest in-joke, and the subtlest double entendre. They expect that you will make their month long imprision......duty worth their time. NOW BE FUNNY! |
| PegasusJF | They were so spellbound by Worf fluid kata moves that they didn't notice a month went by. |
| PegasusJF | In soviet russia...TV characters watch you!! |
| PegasusJF | At DS9 there is NO SUCH THING as casual fridays!!!! |
| PegasusJF | Dax: Just because I'm stuck here for a month doctor doesn't give you permission to cop a feel. |
| PegasusJF | Well, at least Dr. Bashir had something good to look at for the month. |
| PegasusJF | Even in starfleet, cliques existed, and some of them where damned exclusive. |
| C. W. Perkins | Mr. Kennedy: Relax guys a month will go by before you know it. |
| PegasusJF | I doubt this little episode will go down in the annals of diplomacy... |
| PegasusJF | Awkward Silences....IN SPACE!!!! |
| C. W. Perkins | Dax: That order couldn't be right. Bashir: The least they could do would be to put us in a stasis field. Sisko: That's correct. We stand like this for one month. And use of a stasis field cost money. Odo: I hope Mr. Kennedy has pockets deep enough to hold me when I go fluid. |
| PegasusJF | Not seen: Biohazard decontaination shield... What, you think they're going to be able to hold it for that long? |
| PegasusJF | Don't worry, they'll start laughing in two months. |
| PegasusJF | Set phasers to icy glare. |
| PegasusJF | Q is such the practical joker.... |
| PegasusJF | Sisko: Ensign, if you dare put any of those apples, books, eggs, phasers, coconuts, dilithium crystals, antimatter pods, com panels, bulkheads, photon torpedoes, warp drives, saucer sections, or KLINGONS on any of our heads I will flush your sorry rear out of the airlock as soon as Q thinks this isn't funny anymore!!!! |
| C. W. Perkins | Sisko: Okay Odo, this time I know it was you who cut one. |
| C. W. Perkins | Photographer: Look people, can't any of you smile better than this? After all this going on the cover of Antimatter Weekly. |
| PegasusJF | Okay, who hasn't imagined apples on their heads? |
| PegasusJF | When the Cardassians occupied Deep Space Nine they used to amuse themselves by forcing the former officers to stand completely still for weeks on end at gunpoint. |
| PegasusJF | When Bashir found how just how long he had to stand there, he almost flinched. |
| PegasusJF | Dax (through her teeth): How long are we supposed to hold this pose? Sisko (through his teeth): For a month. Dax (barely holding her pose): %#@$! |
| C. W. Perkins | Bashir: Listen. Do you hear that? Dax: Sounds like a Klingon drinking song. Sisko: I'll bet Worf got into the blood wine again. Odo: I hate Klingon drunks. Last time I dealt with a drunk Klingon it took me a whole week to get my face looking right. Sisko: Your face has never looked right so what does it matter? Odo: And you wonder why my race wants to destroy you. |
| PegasusJF | The art of photographic plate pictures lives on in DS9? |
| PegasusJF | Dress code violations where dealt with subtly, but effectively. |
| PegasusJF | Telling the same joke for a month tends to lessen the enjoyment. |
| PegasusJF | You ever walk in a room and immediately feel unwelcome? |
| Worf | I don't know old man, I'd say I haven't really gotten fatter , just wiser. |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Dax: "Is he drunk again?" Odo: "I can't tell... I've never seen anyone sleep in that position." Bashir: "I left him in Quarks last night at 2 in the morning. Is he alive?" Sisko: "Mr. O'Brien... Good morning..." |
| Foxbat | Perhaps it wasn't the best joke Morn had ever told... |
| ThePolymath47 | Odo: It is corporeal.. Sisko: Adversarial.. Bashir: We are of Bajor. Dax: I like Cake, Cake is good.. |
| ThePolymath47 | We've decided to start modernizing our historical landmarks Ladies and Gentlemen, and to start im pleased to present the new Mount Rushmore! |
| ThePolymath47 | AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! WHERE ALL STUCK IN ANOTHER DIMENSION!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Odo: Im not.. Sisko: SSHH!!! |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Voiceover: "Ten years ago, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These people promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The DS9-Team. |
| Thöme | They had an entire month to try and come up with a funny punchline? And that's the result? |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Voiceover: "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories." |
| Frankie Chestnuts | The latest spin-off: Law and Order: DS9 |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Madonna music in background: "Come on, vogue. Let your body move to the music, hey, hey, hey. Come on, vogue. Let your body go with the flow, you know, you can do it..." Sisko: "Does that REALLY have to be on?" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Sisko: "Wow! This is going to be great publicity... Imagine... A FULL SPREAD in 'Space Station Quarterly'!" Odo: "How does my hair look?" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Sisko: "Wow! This is going to be great publicity... Imagine... A FULL SPREAD in 'Space Station Quarterly'!" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Sisko: "The key to a hot-selling Christian album is a flashy inspirational album cover... No, no, no! Haven't you guys ever seen an album cover? You're supposed to be standing in random places, looking away like you don't care!." Bashir: "But I really DON'T care!" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Sisko: "The key to a hot-selling Christian album is a flashy inspirational album cover... No, no, no! Haven't you guys ever seen an album cover? You're supposed to be standing in random places, looking away like you don't care!." Dax: "Like this?" Sisko: "PERFECT!" |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Sisko: "The key to a hot-selling Christian album is a flashy inspirational album cover." |
| Frankie Chestnuts | Director: "Now just stare off into the distance... I need a vacant expression on your face... Like there's nothing in there... PERFECT, Terry. Come on guys, why can't you do it like her?" Avery: "Does that really need an answer?" |
| jg | Strike pose...now vogue... |
| Frankie Chestnuts | CSI: DS9 |
| Legion | Dax thinking: I got the chair. YOu all can stand for the next month. |
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