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OK, I posted this in the forum community less than an hour ago.

I have decided to not attend any more church ceremonies unless it directly involves family in any way. In other words, unless they are being Baptised or mentioned in a significant way I will not attend.

If I attend it will be for family not religious purposes.

Now normally I will go on my free will for the family. However My Dad said I should go because it will be good for me. That suggests all this time of being open as I can be about the subject, he doesn't understand at all. My mom does to an extent and I think she knows I only do if for family. I strongly suspect she knew before I even knew that I was a strong atheist.

This isn't news for this forum but it does fit the religious profile.

Just want to know your thoughts.

Uhh...Happy Easter, buddy.

If you don't believe then attending church would be hypocrisy and I don't think that could ever be good for anyone. You've got to be true to who you are, and not what people want you to be. That included your family.

I just think that for someone like me who isn't a religious person at all and who does once in a while attack certain parts of the Bible that it would be hypocritical of me to attend.

That and the fact is that it seems like my Dad doesn't understand that. He knows that I am the opposite of religious. What does 'it will be good for you' when you think the way I do.

I don't attend church the same way I don't attend Jewish or Muslim ceremonies. I don't attend Ra, Odin, Thor, Zeus or Apollo ceremonies.

I think there are people out, more than you think that attend church out of some automatic duty because it is seen be more normal to attend than not to.

One thing to do instead is to volunteer at a shelter, or help homeless, or similar. Instead of sitting in a church pew, you are helping people who need help. That way when people ask what you do instead of attending, you can reply "helping people".

Or sell plasma to blood banks, and give the money to one of the shelters.

It will be more work than sitting down, but the satisfaction of watching the expression on their face change (plus the people you are helping) is worth it.

There are many many religions out there. Some are rather similar to one another with just relatively small variances. The concept that you MUST follow the same exact path as you parents is insane. The following of any religion is based on beliefs and faith. The only person that can encapsulate your beliefs and faith is you. The direction that YOU take is 100% up to you and anyone that has a problem with that probably needs to reexamine their own position in their own faith. The whole point of religion is that it is up to the individual to believe in what they will.

On television and such they always show religious people at service... everyone is smiling and singing and praising (or whatever specifics are followed) and then a voice over says something about how much love and peace and such there is, and then the camera stop and you are to feel all warm and fuzzy. You want to see the reality... film everyone leaving and trying to get out of the parking lot. People cutting each other off, swearing under their breath, foreheads furrowed, ill wishes and anger. Ah, there is the truth.

Religion is only useful for the folks who already believe in it. Attending church isn't going to proselytize you, any more than your dad's unwillingness to understand your point of view. If you don't believe - at least, not in the specific tenets and rituals of that particular church - then attending is only going to waste your time and use up a seat.

What gets me is that people find it more natural to go to Church even if it's every once in awhile as opposed to never ever going.

Problem is my parents are the only religious people side from the grandparents. Everyone else on both sides will only go to Church on big days where the whole family goes. Once the grandparents die, no one will go.

One interesting thing I noticed is how much my brother fights internally with wanting to be religious but being logical and practical.

I remember I once mentioned there is no mention of Jesus outside of the Bible and he went full out cognitive dissonance on me saying I should stay off 'pot smoker forums'. Even though he knows full well I don't go to those types of forums nor partake in that whacky tobacky.

It is interesting though how apathetic people are getting about church and religion in general.

Mikey wrote:Religion is only useful for the folks who already believe in it. Attending church isn't going to proselytize you, any more than your dad's unwillingness to understand your point of view. If you don't believe - at least, not in the specific tenets and rituals of that particular church - then attending is only going to waste your time and use up a seat.

Wasting a seat I see and it would be a waste of time in my point of view. In my Dad's it would be because of laziness if nothing else. I swear I think he thinks I am not religious because I am lazy or something.

McAvoy wrote: 'pot smoker forums'.

I didn't even know there were these, even when I regularly sparked trees. I'd imagine that most of the threads would boil down to the relative merits of Funyons rather than existential theological philosophizing.

If... it's not right for you, it's not right for you.

Mikey wrote:

McAvoy wrote: 'pot smoker forums'.

I didn't even know there were these, even when I regularly sparked trees. I'd imagine that most of the threads would boil down to the relative merits of Funyons rather than existential theological philosophizing.

I have no idea what they talk about beyond the best munchies snack and legalization.

Like I said that was the most concrete example of cognitive dissonance I have seen. He went from civil to panicked, angry in less then ten seconds.

I do think alot of people like me are forced to go to Church because of family.

I also wonder how many force themselves to go to Church because they think it is normal even though they are atheistic in reality.

I haven't attended church regularly since my teens. Though I was raised getting to church every Sunday with my parents and sent through religious ed I never felt the faith. Once it was up to me to go or not I demurred, and my family accepted that. Nobody tries to convert me: like Mikey says a true sense of faith can't be conveyed to another. It comes from within (or not at all).

Of course, there are other fundamental areas my folks have had to accept, and for the most part they take me for what I am and support me as best they are able to. For that I can credit them.

I guess I would say cut your dad some slack.

As a parent you try to get your kids to do or not do all sorts of stuff because you love them. Do your homework, don't do drugs, eat your vegetables, don't stick a fork into the electrical outlet. Maybe sometimes they're wrong. Maybe if instead of doing homework you played a guitar in the garage with your friends you'd be Kurt Cobain. Maybe if you did heaps of cocaine you'd be Charlie Sheen. Maybe you'd have a near death experience after the outlet thing and would be a bestselling author by now.

But they do the best they can and it comes from a positive place. Your dad is a believer, he thinks it's good and very important, and he wants it for you. You don't agree that he's correct, OK. And maybe church isn't for you. But maybe just try appreciate he's trying to do what he thinks is a good thing for you, and perhaps just appreciating that might help your relationship.

Well first off I am 31 and haven't lived at home sin 's I was 18. So it's not like I cant skip it, I can but I didn't want to make a big scene.

The other thing is that he isn't a believer as in he is a follower of religion. He feels it's something you just have to do whether or not you agree with it or not.

Both of my parents admit the Old Testament is filled with freaky things that they don't agree with and the Old Testament God is a nasty god.

My brother is more of believer than they are.

The fact is that I used to be a member of that church and my mother took me off as she felt that to hang onto it, I become sentimental than believing.

So this isn't some sort of thing that you just sort of drop after awhile and all of a sudden I am believing in God. It doesn't work that way. They know that or they should have.