The protagonist the hero and the princess! LOL

Post Reply
MetalHead
Lieutenant Commander
Lieutenant Commander
Posts: 945
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:53 am
Location: Cheshire, UK
Contact:

The protagonist the hero and the princess! LOL

Post by MetalHead »

A chart of the different types of metal:

HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and fucks the princess.

GRIND METAL: The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest.

TRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and fucks her....... easy and quick.

FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all the dancing) ...protagonist leaves without the princess.

VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns the place before he leaves.

DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL: The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the deflowered princess.

GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her....then he fucks again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well.

PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "BLACK METAL" protagonist.

GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

INDUSTRIAL METAL: The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

NU-METAL: The protagonist arrives in a beat-up Honda civic, tries to fight the dragon but his stupid baggy pants catch fire, and he burns to death. The dragon eats his body, and the princess.
"Beware what you intend to say, those words will always make you pay." - Soilwork

Booze and Strippers!
Sionnach Glic
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
Posts: 26014
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:58 pm
Location: Poblacht na hÉireann, Baile Átha Cliath

Post by Sionnach Glic »

I never realised there were so many types of metal. :?
"You've all been selected for this mission because you each have a special skill. Professor Hawking, John Leslie, Phil Neville, the Wu-Tang Clan, Usher, the Sugar Puffs Monster and Daniel Day-Lewis! Welcome to Operation MindFuck!"
Mikey
Fleet Admiral
Fleet Admiral
Posts: 35635
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 3:04 am
Commendations: The Daystrom Award
Location: down the shore, New Jersey, USA
Contact:

Post by Mikey »

THAT'S GREAT! :lol:

But under "industrial," you forgot to mention that the hero continues to curse in German as he's being exorted out.
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
User avatar
Reliant121
3 Star Admiral
3 Star Admiral
Posts: 12263
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:00 pm

Post by Reliant121 »

How many types of metal exist in the damned world!!!!
MetalHead
Lieutenant Commander
Lieutenant Commander
Posts: 945
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:53 am
Location: Cheshire, UK
Contact:

Post by MetalHead »

Reliant121 wrote:How many types of metal exist in the damned world!!!!
alot ;-)
"Beware what you intend to say, those words will always make you pay." - Soilwork

Booze and Strippers!
Tsukiyumi
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
Posts: 21747
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:38 pm
Location: Forward Torpedo Tube Twenty. Help!
Contact:

Post by Tsukiyumi »

That's hi-larious, brother. That pretty much sums it up.
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
MetalHead
Lieutenant Commander
Lieutenant Commander
Posts: 945
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:53 am
Location: Cheshire, UK
Contact:

Post by MetalHead »

Tsukiyumi wrote:That's hi-larious, brother. That pretty much sums it up.
hahaha glad u like
"Beware what you intend to say, those words will always make you pay." - Soilwork

Booze and Strippers!
User avatar
Jordanis
Lieutenant
Lieutenant
Posts: 522
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:17 am
Location: Oregon

Post by Jordanis »

The power metal bit made me laugh.
User avatar
Granitehewer
Captain
Captain
Posts: 2237
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:03 pm
Location: Teesside, England
Contact:

Post by Granitehewer »

which one do ''dragonforce fall under''?
we all know where killswitch engage and hooooooooooly diiiiiiiiiver fall................khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn
PTLLS (Tees Achieve), DipHE App Bio (Northumbria), BSc Psychology (Teesside), Comparative Planetology (LJMU), High Energy Astrophysics (LJMU), Mobile Robotics/Physics (Swinburne), Genetics (SAC), Quant Meths (SAC)
https://www.facebook.com/PeterBrayshay
Mikey
Fleet Admiral
Fleet Admiral
Posts: 35635
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 3:04 am
Commendations: The Daystrom Award
Location: down the shore, New Jersey, USA
Contact:

Post by Mikey »

And here to accept is Granitehewer, for "Most gratuitous Ronnie James Dio reference."
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
MetalHead
Lieutenant Commander
Lieutenant Commander
Posts: 945
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 3:53 am
Location: Cheshire, UK
Contact:

Post by MetalHead »

Mikey wrote:And here to accept is Granitehewer, for "Most gratuitous Ronnie James Dio reference."
R.J Dio = the fking man.

He gave birth to power metal as far as im concerned ;-)
"Beware what you intend to say, those words will always make you pay." - Soilwork

Booze and Strippers!
Post Reply