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GrahamKennedy wrote:

McAvoy wrote:I am not a fan of the current cries against 'bullying'. Boys will be boys.

I grew up with the idea that you will not be bullied if you make it hard on them to bully you. For example the very last time I got bullied was by this kid named Jordan. For a week straight he kept on messing with me. Until one day he decided to jump me and my brother in my neighborhood. One thing Jordan didn't know was that my Dad taught me to punch as hard as I can before the fight becomes a wrestling match. Well it didn't and while fuzzy now. I still distinctly remember having his head in my a lock and punching his face until I pushed him into a pole. I walked away from that fight with a split lip and a black eye. I broke his nose and black eyes and a swollen jaw. Bullying ended there for me because everyone at school saw my handiwork.

And the ones who are small and weak enough that this approach simply gets their asses kicked all the harder?

At some level it becomes assault, not bullying. Most people picture assault when they think of bullying, but that is not what these campaigns are directed at. People think ab out the movie where some big jock beats the crap out of some little nerdy kid in the middle of the hall and no one does anything. And it happens day after day after day... But that is simply NOT realistic at all. I am sure that something like that happens at some level, but an extremely small % of overall "bullying". Life is simply not a movie script.

Thats when they report it and the school really cracks down on it.

Bullying is only a real issue when it is on going. If you get bullied 6 different times over 13 years of school, chances are its character building. If you get bullied every day, then something needs to be done and the bullies need to be dealt with severly, and I'm not talking expelling as that doesnt help anyone, but by getting them to stop bullying.

There was one notoriously bad bully at our school, really should have been expelled. His parents were very good and really treid to get him under control and always called up and appologised to the families of people he bullied. Finally the school princible said to him and his family that he has to sign up for the school roing team, rugby team, cricket team, gardening club and social services club, basically every single lunch time and free day was totally taken up by events. He raged against it a bit from what I saw, but after a few months he had totally turned around and actually ended up winning awards.

Also something I think none of us here know about, since I am almost one of the youngest people here at 26, is cyber bullying. Literally 24/7 bullying that can be very serious and isnt assault at all. I have no idea how to deal with that.

The only cyber bullying that I would care about is something that hurts your credit or such. Posting mean things on Facebook is nothing. If someone is emotionally/psychologically hurt by something posted on Facebook (or equivalent) then that person (the victim) needs to talk to someone and work some stuff out.

I'm slightly younger (21). Once you get older (18+) Jim's right it's nothing if I get on facebook and see a bunch of shit, because I don't care and my friends don't care. But that's also taking into account a certain amount of emotional maturity, these anti-bullying campaigns, specifically those targeting cyber bullying are very practically pointed at kids in middle school through freshman year (11-15) when the emotional maturity to just shrug it off isn't there; not just for the person being bullied, but their friends/classmates who will be more inclined to believe/act/continue on with this. Even for those of us that are older it can still be a problem to your reputation if the right thing is said by someone with some credibility in the right situation. Go to that age, and they everyone has the credibility to completely tarnish your reputation.

GrahamKennedy wrote:

McAvoy wrote:I am not a fan of the current cries against 'bullying'. Boys will be boys.

I grew up with the idea that you will not be bullied if you make it hard on them to bully you. For example the very last time I got bullied was by this kid named Jordan. For a week straight he kept on messing with me. Until one day he decided to jump me and my brother in my neighborhood. One thing Jordan didn't know was that my Dad taught me to punch as hard as I can before the fight becomes a wrestling match. Well it didn't and while fuzzy now. I still distinctly remember having his head in my a lock and punching his face until I pushed him into a pole. I walked away from that fight with a split lip and a black eye. I broke his nose and black eyes and a swollen jaw. Bullying ended there for me because everyone at school saw my handiwork.

And the ones who are small and weak enough that this approach simply gets their asses kicked all the harder?

No... that is a Hollywood thing. That a bully will continue to bully a weak person even after a fight. Bullies will always go after the weakest link who doesn't put up much of a fight.

Not only that, bullies do not like numbers either.

There are many different bullying types.

Regardless I was actually considered small or at least skinny. In comparison Jordan was much larger than me, a star basketball, baseball and football player. He was a walking talking stereotype jock. The reason why I won that fight was because I threw the first punch and I threw it hard. Fuck the bullshit who threw the first punch. If you know for a fact you are going to fight, might as start it.

There is that video of the smaller kid "bullying" the bigger kid, so it goes both ways. It isn't always a size thing. (in the video the bigger kid body slams the smaller kid)

Jim wrote:There is that video of the smaller kid "bullying" the bigger kid, so it goes both ways. It isn't always a size thing. (in the video the bigger kid body slams the smaller kid)

That too. My brother got picked on by a small kid when I was a senior. My brother got suspended after he slammed the small kid's face after the kid decided it would be s cool idea to spit soda on my brother. My brother got jumped later by the small kid and his gang. He fought well enough me thinks.

McAvoy wrote:No... that is a Hollywood thing. That a bully will continue to bully a weak person even after a fight.

I've personally seen it happen.

GrahamKennedy wrote:

McAvoy wrote:No... that is a Hollywood thing. That a bully will continue to bully a weak person even after a fight.

I've personally seen it happen.

Yeah, I gotta agree with Graham on this one, I know quite a few people that have "stood up to" bullies in the way of fighting back, or calling their bluff, a bully is not always weak in their resolve, they don't always target the weakest link. Some bullies like to have what they consider a challenge, someone who gets them more of a thrill by being more and more troublesome to him because he won't just back down. It also helps them get sympathy, sure, everyone can say they are being bullied, but I've see it happen that a kid bullied another kid, the bully got the crap kicked out of him, the victim got suspended and the bully went back to doing what he was doing. Bullies also aren't always stupid.

GrahamKennedy wrote:

McAvoy wrote:No... that is a Hollywood thing. That a bully will continue to bully a weak person even after a fight.

I've personally seen it happen.

I have seen it happen. Not every bully is the same. Standing up to a bully all the time isn't a bad thing. There are of course different ways of dealing with a bully than just fighting.

Like with anything you need to look at this as a bell curve. There is a very small percentage of people that have never seen any kind of bullying (one end of the bell curve) an a very small percentage that were/are bullied constantly. Even though we use absolutes when talking, "That never happens", nothing like this is actually an absolute. However, how far do you go for the statistical improbability?

You install safety nets used to catch those people, but use them lightly. You should never ignore the ends of the bell curve, but you shouldnt treat everyone like they are the 1%.

Granted, but these anti-bullying campaigns are treating everyone like the 1%.

I imagine my responses to bullies would be considered bullying under this new blanket system.

Still feels great to have been the "nerd" that picked on bullies.