Invent a stupid law

Mark
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Mark »

Federation Commerce Code 163 Section 12 reads:

At no time will any Federation citizen replicate any non-replicatable item.

Trade embargos with hostile powers will be strictly enforced. Possession of a controlled substence will immedietly result in confiscation of said item. (Now we know how Kirk and McCoy got all that Romulan Ale)
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Mark
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Mark »

Starship Saftey Manual Page 101 Paragraph 3 reads:

Absolutely no smoking will be allowed in ANY photon torpedo storage area at any time. :?
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They look like Phyllis Diller,
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Tsukiyumi »

Mark wrote:Starship Saftey Manual Page 101 Paragraph 3 reads:

Absolutely no smoking will be allowed in ANY photon torpedo storage area at any time. :?
Because everyone knows how flammable photons are. :P
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by stitch626 »

I must say Mark, you are really good at this.
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Re: Invent a stupid law

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stitch626 wrote:I must say Mark, you are really good at this.
I thank you for your kind words :)

Shipboard Phaser Storage Regulation 112 Section 12 (23rd Century edition)

Hand Phasers are always to be set to kill while being stored aboard ship, and are only to be re-set to stun at the senior officers direct order just before departing for a landing party.

Shipboard Phaser Storage Regulation 112 Section 12 (24th Century Revised edition)

Hand Phasers are to be set to setting one at all times during storage, as to prevent any possibley dangerous accidents. Phasers are only to be set to a lethal setting if lethal force is to be used, with the exception of those stored in the shuttlebays and the galley.
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
Mark
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Mark »

Shipboard Saftey Procedures page 116 reads:

"All personel will, at all times, buckle themselves securely to the refresher unit in the head, if such facilities must be used during a yellow or red alert situation"
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
stitch626
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by stitch626 »

:lol: I like it!
Federation environmental law: TRIBBLE
Tribbles may be kept as pets by any member of the Federation. They may be sold. However, if the they get out of control, they must be dealt with in a humane way.

Amendment 1: Disposal
Humane does not include flamethrowers or phasers, or transporting them into space.
To remove tribbles, be creative, but humane.

Amendment 2: Klingons
Tribbles must not be transported en mass onto any Klingon vessels. It is unfair and inhumane to the Klingons.
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Re: Invent a stupid law

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Amendment 3: Unless they insult scottys ship in which case
give em all youve got, the tribbles of course
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Mark
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Mark »

Amendment 4:

"No non commissioned or non command grade tribble may sit in the Captain's Chair at anytime."
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
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Re: Invent a stupid law

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Amendment 5: unless they have stolen or eaten a commisioned or command grade tribble(there might be cannibles)
The world ended

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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Mark »

Amedment Six

"At no time will two tribbles be tied together with a length of string and hung from the rear view mirror of the bridge."
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Blackstar the Chakat »

Mark wrote:Amedment Six

"At no time will two tribbles be tied together with a length of string and hung from the rear view mirror of the bridge."
aww....
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Nickswitz »

Amendment 7: At no time will any tribble be cooked for sustinance no matter how hungery your stupid captain is
The world ended

"Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world" - R.D.Lang
Mark
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Mark »

Nickswitz wrote:Amendment 7: At no time will any tribble be cooked for sustinance no matter how hungery your stupid captain is
Amedment 7a: However, in an emergency a tribble MAY be consumed raw, but only if an appropriate sauce is available.
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
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Re: Invent a stupid law

Post by Nickswitz »

Amendment 7b: And only if it can be proven that it wass an emergancy exactly 7 seconds before the court-martial of the officer
The world ended

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