The Worst Book You Ever Read

Sionnach Glic
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
Posts: 26014
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:58 pm
Location: Poblacht na hÉireann, Baile Átha Cliath

The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Sionnach Glic »

Inspired by the Twilight Bashing Thread. Most of us there have agreed that the books are pretty bad, but far from the worst. So, what book have you read that you'd rate as the worst waste of paper you'd ever wasted your time reading?
"You've all been selected for this mission because you each have a special skill. Professor Hawking, John Leslie, Phil Neville, the Wu-Tang Clan, Usher, the Sugar Puffs Monster and Daniel Day-Lewis! Welcome to Operation MindFuck!"
User avatar
Captain Seafort
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
Posts: 15548
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 1:44 pm
Location: Blighty

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Captain Seafort »

The Gunslinger. I've read plenty of books that I've got to the end of and concluded that I'm a) not reading it again and b) not getting anything else by that author, but that's then only one I've got two-thirds through (and it's pretty thin to start with) and decided "I'm not wasting my time finishing this shit".
Only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe: Albert Einstein.
Tsukiyumi
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
Posts: 21747
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:38 pm
Location: Forward Torpedo Tube Twenty. Help!
Contact:

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Tsukiyumi »

The first one is slow-ish, but the series as a whole is the best stuff I've ever read. Just goes to show how opinion varies.

Who would've thought that Seafort and I would have vastly different opinions on something? :lol:

Worst thing I've ever read... I'd have to say Rainbow Six by Tom Clancy. I had pretty much the same reaction Seafort had to The Gunslinger, except I only got about halfway through before I put it down for good.
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
User avatar
Graham Kennedy
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 11561
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:28 pm
Location: Banbury, UK
Contact:

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Graham Kennedy »

I think I would go with Vurt.

First off, it's one of those sci fi books which is written in "future-speak". The entire book is written in futuristic slang which is very hard to decipher. I didn't really start to work out what half of it meant until about half way through.

Example : the word Vurt refers to virtual reality. In this future, VR programs are produced as "feathers". You tickel yourself in the throat with these feathers, and have a VR experience. And they do seem to be talking about real, actual feathers here. It doesn't seem to be an odd slang term.

The basic story is that a lot of people are addicted to Vurt, and we follow a gang who spend their time trying to acquire feathers to use. But as a backstory... the gang's leader experimented with some kind of special Vurt feather - different colours do different things, and she got some special colour nobody had seen before. In her Vurt experience she vanished completely, being replaced by some sort of living blob which he calls "The Thing from Outer Space".

Throughout the book there are ghosts, monsters, and various apparently supernatural things. These are all talked about as though they are perfectly real, but I couldn't decide whether they were just Vurt hallucination-versions of real things, or what.

It was an awful, painful book, and I only got through it because it became a kind of endurance test for me.
Give a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a day. SET a man on fire, and you will keep him warm for the rest of his life...
Nickswitz
Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Posts: 6748
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 5:34 pm
Location: Home
Contact:

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Nickswitz »

GrahamKennedy wrote:I think I would go with Vurt.

First off, it's one of those sci fi books which is written in "future-speak". The entire book is written in futuristic slang which is very hard to decipher. I didn't really start to work out what half of it meant until about half way through.

Example : the word Vurt refers to virtual reality. In this future, VR programs are produced as "feathers". You tickel yourself in the throat with these feathers, and have a VR experience. And they do seem to be talking about real, actual feathers here. It doesn't seem to be an odd slang term.

The basic story is that a lot of people are addicted to Vurt, and we follow a gang who spend their time trying to acquire feathers to use. But as a backstory... the gang's leader experimented with some kind of special Vurt feather - different colours do different things, and she got some special colour nobody had seen before. In her Vurt experience she vanished completely, being replaced by some sort of living blob which he calls "The Thing from Outer Space".

Throughout the book there are ghosts, monsters, and various apparently supernatural things. These are all talked about as though they are perfectly real, but I couldn't decide whether they were just Vurt hallucination-versions of real things, or what.

It was an awful, painful book, and I only got through it because it became a kind of endurance test for me.
Oh God!

That sounds like it's would be painful to think about. in fact, it is.
The world ended

"Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world" - R.D.Lang
Mark
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
Posts: 17671
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2008 12:49 am
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Mark »

I'm going to be VERY unpopular for this opinion. But I DETEST Shakespeare. None of his works change my opinion.
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
User avatar
Reliant121
3 Star Admiral
3 Star Admiral
Posts: 12263
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:00 pm

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Reliant121 »

I detested Jane Eyre. I know its a classic book, but it takes at least 3 hours of straight reading to know what the fuck is actually going on. It's so intricately detailed, we're saturated beyond belief with incredibly sickly adjectives. It's so confusing for anyone who doesnt date from the 17th century.
shran
Commander
Commander
Posts: 1289
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 6:28 pm
Contact:

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by shran »

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, aged 13 3/4 would be on my nomination list for sure. At first i liked it, but the second time i read it it was awful.
User avatar
Lighthawk
Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Posts: 4632
Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 7:55 pm
Location: Missouri, USA, North America, Earth, Sol System, Orion Arm, Milkyway Galaxy, Local Group, Universe

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Lighthawk »

The Catcher in the Rye, the only book I was forced to read in highschool that I could not make myself finish. I can't even remember any details from it now (probably my mind trying to protect me by blanking out the memories), but I recall thinking "This is such crap!" about ever five minutes while trying to read it.
Image
Lazar
Captain
Captain
Posts: 2232
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:29 pm
Location: Massachusetts

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Lazar »

Renowned forum member Lazar staggered through the ornately vaulted archway, wondering with his last breath what had compelled him to read The Da Vinci Code.
"There was also a large horse in the room, taking up most of it."
stitch626
2 Star Admiral
2 Star Admiral
Posts: 9585
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: NY
Contact:

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by stitch626 »

That comes to mind at the moment... Johnny Got His Gun. There's probably one that was worse, but I don't remember it.


Wait no... Palin's Going Rogue... I read the first few pages, so I think that would count.
No trees were killed in transmission of this message. However, some electrons were mildly inconvenienced.
Mikey
Fleet Admiral
Fleet Admiral
Posts: 35635
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 3:04 am
Commendations: The Daystrom Award
Location: down the shore, New Jersey, USA
Contact:

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Mikey »

I know I may lose my sci-fi nerd credentials for this, but...

Spook City. Now, I am as big a fan of William Gibson's Neuromancer as there is. In fact, I am of the opinion that it is as important to 20th-21st century science fiction as Heinlein or Aasimov. However, Spook City was all the form of Neuromancer and none of the substance.
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
User avatar
Deepcrush
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
Posts: 18917
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 8:15 pm
Location: Arnold, Maryland, USA

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Deepcrush »

Forever Midnight.

Its an Predator Novel and a total waste of paper.
Jinsei wa cho no yume, shi no tsubasa no bitodesu
User avatar
Granitehewer
Captain
Captain
Posts: 2237
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2007 12:03 pm
Location: Teesside, England
Contact:

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Granitehewer »

re: catcher in the rye and deep's choice, agreed
I collect books especially since a friend retired and donated a good portion of his shop stock, and have to admit that there's nothing worse than a kim newman horror novella, his multitudinous homages, nods of the hat, tips of the wink and references are fine but he is not articulate or precise, his rhetoric is too flowery also....
PTLLS (Tees Achieve), DipHE App Bio (Northumbria), BSc Psychology (Teesside), Comparative Planetology (LJMU), High Energy Astrophysics (LJMU), Mobile Robotics/Physics (Swinburne), Genetics (SAC), Quant Meths (SAC)
https://www.facebook.com/PeterBrayshay
User avatar
Deepcrush
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
Posts: 18917
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 8:15 pm
Location: Arnold, Maryland, USA

Re: The Worst Book You Ever Read

Post by Deepcrush »

Pete, you've read Forever Midnight? I'm so sorry.
Jinsei wa cho no yume, shi no tsubasa no bitodesu
Post Reply