Pretty clever comebacks there. I'm reminded of the time I worked in a record store and someone came in looking for the new Bob Marley record.
Me: "Do you mean the new boxed set? Rita marley found some demo versions and other stuff, which are included in the set."
Dumbass: "No, a new album. There's supposed to be a new album, of all-new music."
Me: "Er... Bob Marley died over ten years ago."
Dumbass: "Bob Marley is DEAD?!" *pause* "I guess it was all the drugs."
Me: "He died from Hodgkin's Disease, a form of cancer."
Dumbass: "Well, what about that other guy from his band, who made some solo stuff?"
Me: "Peter Tosh, the guy who sang 'Legalize It?'"
Dumbass: "Yeah, that's him!"
Me: "Peter Tosh died four years ago."
Dumbass: "I bet it was the drugs with him."
Me: "Peter Tosh was stabbed to death while his hime was being burglarized."
Dumbass: "I'm going to go now."
"You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?"
"I fought with a lot of people in the war."
"And your husband?"
"I fight with him sometimes, too."