Such a poor attempt

Nickswitz
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Such a poor attempt

Post by Nickswitz »

I got this attached to my email, that I opened, on my ipod, cause I'm not stupid, but this was such a bad attempt at a money laundering scheme...

And the email said this. Download the attached file and kindly get back to me. This is not a scam or a virus.
attached file wrote:NEDBANK PRIVATE BANKING

I am Mr. Bill Brown, the Chief Auditor of the Ned Bank of South Africa
(Ned Bank).I got your contact address from the Trade and Exhibition
Centre here in Johannesburg and you are the only person that I have
contacted in this business with believe that you will not let me down
and we will work together to develop trust and confidence in this
business.

After going through some old file in the records department, I
discover that there is an account opened in 1980 belonging to the late
Mr. Jerome N. Snaga a foreigner and a miner at Kruger Gold Company a
geologist by profession and since 1990 nobody has operated the account
following Mr. Snagas death in 1990. Since then, no other person knows
about this account, and the amount involved is US$82 million (EIGHTY
TWO MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS).

I would like to first transfer US$12 million into your overseas
account as a foreigner because Mr. Snaga was a foreigner then later I
will transfer the remaining US$70 million before joining you in person
for disbursement and investment opportunity which you will be an asset
to it. I am only contacting you because of your foreign status as
this money cannot be approved to a local bank here, but can be
approved to any foreign account because the money is in a foreign
currency (US dollars) and former owner of the account, Mr. Snaga was a
foreigner.

Because of the need to involve a foreign account, I need your full co-
operation to make this work fine because the management is ready to
approve the payment to whoever has the correct information to this
account, of which I will give you later, if you are able to handle
such amount in strict confidence and trust according to my instruction
and advice for our mutual benefits because this opportunity will never
come again in our lives. I need a trustworthy person in this business
because I don't want to make a mistake and I need your strong
assurance, trust and reliability.

With my position now in the office and the influence of the top bank
director of the South African Reserve Bank, I will make sure that this
money is transferred into any reliable account, which you can provide
with the assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical
arrival in your country for my sharing. Your physical presence is also
welcomed in South Africa in which the transfer will be done in your
presence. I will destroy all the documents of the transaction
immediately you receive this money, leaving no trace in any place.

I have the tendency to invest my own share of the money in your
country in expectation to a sound management and a good capital
returns according to your advice. Rest assured you stand no risk of
any kind as the fund belong to us now, therefore after the eventual
stage of the transfer of this fund, I am offering you 30% of the total
fund, 65% will be for my investment while 5% will be set aside for
expenses that might be incurred during the cause of this transaction.

I strongly believe that associating with you to embark on this fund
transfer and other business ventures will derive a huge success there
after. I will use my position to effect approvals for onward transfer
of this money to your account with appropriate clearance form from the
ministries and foreign exchange department. I am counting on your
sense of confidentiality, as it is my desire that you keep this to
yourself and endeavor to furnish me with your private telephone
(mobile preferably), fax numbers and your bank details where you would
like the first payment to be transferred into for a quickly
arrangements and approval.



Looking forward to your urgent respond.

Yours truly,
Yeah, it was a bad attempt, and just thought I would share it with you all.
The world ended

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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Mikey »

Oh, that's an old one. Often it's a Nigerian citizen in need of help bringing some money to the US, or some such.
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Sionnach Glic »

South Africa? That's a change from the ones I get. Five years ago I never would have imagined there'd be so many Nigerians with millionaire relatives.

Oh, and I love "Bill Brown". :lol:

EDIT: Curses, Mikey got there before me. :lol:
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Lazar »

College Humor did a video on where that Nigerian spam comes from.
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Nutso »

Got that 7 years ago. Except mine was a white Angolan colonel named Joanes Neto. He promised me $7 million if I gave him my account info for transfer purposes. Back then they didn't use the "This is not a scam" disclaimer.
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Angharrad »

And he said I was the only one he trusted! :blub:

If you think I believed that.
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Nickswitz
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Nickswitz »

The this is not a scam disclaimer is what gave it away for me seriously though... :lol:
The world ended

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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Nutso »

Nickswitz wrote:The this is not a scam disclaimer is what gave it away for me seriously though... :lol:
Back in my days, ;) they really tried. Joanes Neto is so much more believable than Bill Brown.
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Nickswitz »

Whoever it is got it passed the spam filters on my email by putting it in an attachment, they kinda have a clue how to do it right... :lol: :bangwall:
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by stitch626 »

This is what got me:
I am only contacting you because of your foreign status
What foreign status? Does he mean not African, or not American?
:lol:

And I love all of the reassurances of "I will do this"...

Now I have the urge to send a scam message back...
No trees were killed in transmission of this message. However, some electrons were mildly inconvenienced.
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by thelordharry »

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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Mikey »

I'm thinking of sending a scam mail like that to Europe.

"Dear Sir:

I am an American citizen who needs to transfer a large sum of money to a European account. This money is currently liquid, in a combination of non-consecutive cash, jewelry, and... merchandise which shall remain in sealed Samsonite suitcases. I am willing to reward you handsomely for your assistance, as long as I can depend on your discretion and willingness to avoid speaking with Interpol agents. Cash and jewelry will arrive via courier; please disregard any reddish stains or discolorations..."
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Nutso »

That's the plot for Transporter 4.
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Mikey »

*note to self: sue Jason Statham*
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Re: Such a poor attempt

Post by Foxfyre »

LOL let me know if you get a bite with that one :laughroll:
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