The Joke Thread

[Mikey]

Of, FFS...

#1 - The tanuki is, in Japanese folklore, both the actual animal as well as the spirit-form paragon of the animal - surely, the game's use of the tanuki suit reflects the conception of the tanuki kami/archetype as a shape-shifting spirit representing mischief, wealth, and commercial success. Surely if they game depicted a nine-tailed kitsune, nobody would be dumb enough to think it was supposed to be an actual disfigured fox?

#2 - Is anyone at PETA aware of the fact that no animals had to be skinned to code the suit in the game?

#3 - Everybody just ought to be glad that the tanuki wasn't portrayed traditionally. In Japan, tanuki spirits are commonly represented as having big pot-bellies, jugs of sake, and testicles up to or over 100% the size of their bodies.

[Lighthawk]

Tanuki spirits sound like quite the partying bunch...

What gets me is...why Mario? If they wanted to go after a video game (insane as it is), why not something like WoW, which is both in the same weight class and actually involves real virtual animal cruelty. I must have done a bazzillion fetch quests on WoW involving killing animal X in order to collect Y amount of skins/bones/claws/etc...

[Angharrad]

Tanuki spirits sound like quite the partying bunch...

What gets me is...why Mario? If they wanted to go after a video game (insane as it is), why not something like WoW, which is both in the same weight class and actually involves real virtual animal cruelty. I must have done a bazzillion fetch quests on WoW involving killing animal X in order to collect Y amount of skins/bones/claws/etc...

This is too stupid to count as real news, so I'm putting it here.

PETA Protests Super Mario Over Raccoon Dog Suit

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are now protesting the popular video game due to the Tanooki suit found in the video game. The Tanooki suit is modeled after a Japanese raccoon suit known as a tanuki. This suit debuted in 1989 in Super Mario Bros 3 for Nintendo and has been present ever since.

The suit took center stage again when Super Mario 3D Land was released on November 3, 2011. Upon the release of this game, PETA pounced on America’s favorite plumber hero and is now protesting the game.

The use of the suit has remained constant in Super Mario 3D Land as it was in Super Mario Bros 3 – to be able to fly into the sky to collect coins or float past enemies. PETA is protesting the new release of Mario 3 for Nintendo DS claiming that the video game depicts Mario wearing the hide of the raccoon dog, which promotes the wearing of fur.

To help bring what PETA deems an atrocity to light, the organization has created their own version of the children’s video game named Super Super Tanooki Skin 2D. In it, Mario wears the carcass of a tanuki that is drenched in blood and even some of the animal’s bones remaining on it. The objective in the game is to chase after the bloody, flying Mario as the skinned raccoon dog to try to get your fur back. The logo of the game is possibly more disturbing than the game, as it turns the beloved Italian plumber into a murderous-looking villain.


PETA has set their sights on other video games prior to this, but one question I’ve heard a few times today is why have they not protested Mario before? After all, for years, Mario has been stealing the shells of turtles everywhere in the Mushroom kingdom, even the dead ones.

Source

Angry birds is next.

[Mikey]

Tanuki spirits sound like quite the partying bunch...

What gets me is...why Mario? If they wanted to go after a video game (insane as it is), why not something like WoW, which is both in the same weight class and actually involves real virtual animal cruelty. I must have done a bazzillion fetch quests on WoW involving killing animal X in order to collect Y amount of skins/bones/claws/etc...

What gets ME is... if they're that concerned about tanukis, why waste time on a stupid video game in which NO animals are harmed? Why don't they go after the Chinese tanuki fur trade in which occurs some of the most gut-wrenching, stomach-turning, bile-raising, evil, heinous, sadisitic proclivities known to mankind? Seriously - men take tanukis from a pen, swing them by their back legs to beat them against the ground in order to dislocate the hip joints, beat them with batons to break some long bones, cut off the paws (yes, while the animals are alive,) hang them upside down and skin them (yes, while the animals are still alive,) then toss them (sans skins) into a large pile with the other slowly-dying, skinned tanukis. Supposedly, raccoon dogs emit a rather eerie squealing cry when subjected to such trauma; videos of the process show both the furriers and onlookers laughing at the process.

[mwhittington]

Because when you have the whole PETA organization put together, you only have half a brain. And we're teaching our children to be cruel to animals through video games. DUH!

[Deepcrush]

Always remember that PETA is as useful to their cause as the UN is to it's cause.

[Captain Seafort]

Always remember that PETA is as useful to their cause as the UN is to it's cause.

I think that's a bit harsh to the UN - they're rarely actively counter-productive, and they are useful at least one or two per cent of the time.

[Griffin]

Doctor: We've took the x-ray, and your going to need to stop masturbating.
Patient: Why?
Doctor: It's very distracting.

Whoever put "Too Cool to Do Drugs" on a pencil is an Idiot, Every time you sharpen it, it changes to "Cool to Do Drugs", then "Do Drugs" and eventually "Drugs".

Bumped into my girlfriend's ex earlier.Begged him for another game of poker so he could have a chance to win her back.

I saw a fat bird down the pub, her T-shirt said - Watch out, I'm a maneater! I went up to her and said "Excuse me love, about your T-shirt slogan." She stopped me and angrily said "Oh let me guess, you want to know how many men I've eaten?! Well I can't help my size you know!" I said "Actually no, I wasn't going to say that at all." She looked happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you want to say then?."
"That's not how you spell Manatee."

If I ever got the chance to name a Road, I'd call it 'Skin Road'. Just so I could laugh at the people at number 4.


To neigh or not to neigh.

That is equestrian.

[Tsukiyumi]

Doctor: We've took the x-ray, and your going to need to stop masturbating.
Patient: Why?
Doctor: It's very distracting.

Whoever put "Too Cool to Do Drugs" on a pencil is an Idiot, Every time you sharpen it, it changes to "Cool to Do Drugs", then "Do Drugs" and eventually "Drugs".

Bumped into my girlfriend's ex earlier.Begged him for another game of poker so he could have a chance to win her back.

I saw a fat bird down the pub, her T-shirt said - Watch out, I'm a maneater! I went up to her and said "Excuse me love, about your T-shirt slogan." She stopped me and angrily said "Oh let me guess, you want to know how many men I've eaten?! Well I can't help my size you know!" I said "Actually no, I wasn't going to say that at all." She looked happier and smiled as she said "Oh yes, what did you want to say then?."
"That's not how you spell Manatee."

If I ever got the chance to name a Road, I'd call it 'Skin Road'. Just so I could laugh at the people at number 4.


To neigh or not to neigh.

That is equestrian.

Also:

And then:

[Lighthawk]

Snowblower for sale

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Snowblower for sale

That... is win.

[Foxbat]

I live in a climate that has snow once a decade and I'm considering putting in an offer!

[Mikey]

I had that snowblower, until SOMEONE told me that it was fine for the summer because she already put the Sta-bil in the gas when she hadn't really put Sta-bil in the gas. That guy is right - that snowblower is what snow has nightmares about.

[Sonic Glitch]

Do I know any jokes about sodium?

Na.

[Captain Seafort]