The Joke Thread

[Griffin]

Saw a guy pickpocket a dwarf today... I can't believe someone would stoop so low

[alexmann]

[GrahamKennedy]

Saw a guy pickpocket a dwarf today... I can't believe someone would stoop so low

[Mark]

That one was just.........wow.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

So bad... almost good.

[Sonic Glitch]

Saw a guy pickpocket a dwarf today... I can't believe someone would stoop so low

Now that's a low blow...

[mwhittington]

Saw a guy pickpocket a dwarf today... I can't believe someone would stoop so low

Was that the same dwarf that went up to Sinead O'Connor and told her that her hair smelled nice?

[alexmann]

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Chuck Norris is so tough he uses razor wire for toilet paper.

The last thing to go through one of chuck norris's victims minds before they die is his foot.

Space exists because it is afraid to live on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris once got into a bar fight. The bar lost.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever beat a brick wall at tennis.

When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesnt push himself up he pushes the floor down.

[Mikey]

Chuck Norris bowls overhand.

[mwhittington]

When Chuck Norris tells you he feels like Mexican tonight, don't be surprised if you find him later that night at your house banging your maid.
Chuck Norris loves to cook bacon without his shirt on... Kevin Bacon, that is.
The word "f*ck" is actually a portmanteau of the phrase "Foot of Chuck".

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Chuck Norris bowls overhand.

Chuck Norris doesn't use a bowling ball. He stares at the pins until they collapse from terror.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity-twice.

[Sonic Glitch]

There is finally conclusive evidence that Osama bin Laden and Muammar Gaddafi are dead.

Yesterday, they both registered to vote in Chicago.

[Mikey]

[Tiberius]

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity-twice.

That's nothing. Buzz Lightyear can count to infinite... and beyond!

[Lighthawk]

This is too stupid to count as real news, so I'm putting it here.

PETA Protests Super Mario Over Raccoon Dog Suit

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are now protesting the popular video game due to the Tanooki suit found in the video game. The Tanooki suit is modeled after a Japanese raccoon suit known as a tanuki. This suit debuted in 1989 in Super Mario Bros 3 for Nintendo and has been present ever since.

The suit took center stage again when Super Mario 3D Land was released on November 3, 2011. Upon the release of this game, PETA pounced on America’s favorite plumber hero and is now protesting the game.

The use of the suit has remained constant in Super Mario 3D Land as it was in Super Mario Bros 3 – to be able to fly into the sky to collect coins or float past enemies. PETA is protesting the new release of Mario 3 for Nintendo DS claiming that the video game depicts Mario wearing the hide of the raccoon dog, which promotes the wearing of fur.

To help bring what PETA deems an atrocity to light, the organization has created their own version of the children’s video game named Super Super Tanooki Skin 2D. In it, Mario wears the carcass of a tanuki that is drenched in blood and even some of the animal’s bones remaining on it. The objective in the game is to chase after the bloody, flying Mario as the skinned raccoon dog to try to get your fur back. The logo of the game is possibly more disturbing than the game, as it turns the beloved Italian plumber into a murderous-looking villain.


PETA has set their sights on other video games prior to this, but one question I’ve heard a few times today is why have they not protested Mario before? After all, for years, Mario has been stealing the shells of turtles everywhere in the Mushroom kingdom, even the dead ones.

Source