The Joke Thread

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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by RK_Striker_JK_5 »

Most of those, i got. Admittedly, some I didn't. But the ones I did? :lol:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Graham Kennedy »

Angharrad wrote:I don't get it. :cry:
Any one in particular?
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Angharrad »

GrahamKennedy wrote:
Angharrad wrote:I don't get it. :cry:
Any one in particular?
About half of them.
“You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you've created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore.”

And then Buffy staked Edward. The End.


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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Sonic Glitch »

Angharrad wrote:
GrahamKennedy wrote:
Angharrad wrote:I don't get it. :cry:
Any one in particular?
About half of them.
Which half? :angel1:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Angharrad »

Sonic Glitch wrote:
Angharrad wrote:
About half of them.
Which half? :angel1:
The left half. :happydevil:
“You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you've created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore.”

And then Buffy staked Edward. The End.


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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Vic »

Spsst, Angaharrad, top or bottom.....half. :poke:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by SomosFuga »

Graham Kennedy wrote:
Angharrad wrote:I don't get it. :cry:
Any one in particular?
11 and 12
Trata las situaciones estresantes como lo haría 1 perro: si no puedes comértelo o jugar con ello, méate encima y lárgate!!!

Handle stressful situations as a dog would: if you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and get out of there!!!
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Lt. Staplic »

11. unionized could be pronounced union-ized or un-ionized depending on if it's a plumber or chemist respectively.

12. 31 in base 8 is the same number as 25 in base 10.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by SomosFuga »

Ok thanks.
Trata las situaciones estresantes como lo haría 1 perro: si no puedes comértelo o jugar con ello, méate encima y lárgate!!!

Handle stressful situations as a dog would: if you can't eat it or play with it, pee on it and get out of there!!!
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mikey »

Q: Why can't you hear a psuchiatrist going to the bathroom?

A: Because the "P" is silent!
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Graham Kennedy »

Apparently, California has the highest rate of Depression and Adultery in the US. It's a sad State of affairs.

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I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision!

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So sad America ranks 25th in the world in math. But at least we're still in the top 10!

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Nice try, but I'll believe a salad is "to die for" when a convict chooses one for his last meal.

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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Graham Kennedy »

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.

Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.

The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and
ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away," they said. "If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking,

"Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye:

"My wife is from Scotland..."
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Angharrad »

A man is in bed with his wife, he asks her if she wants to have sex.

"No."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes."

"Can I phone a friend?"
“You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you've created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore.”

And then Buffy staked Edward. The End.


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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Tsukiyumi »

:lol:
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mikey »

A psychologist is making his rounds in a psych ward when he comes upon two roommates - one is sawing imaginary wood, while the other is hanging upside-down from the ceiling. "What are you up to?" the shrink asks the first patient.

"Oh, just some carpentry," replies the first patient.

"What's he doing?" the doctor asks, pointing at the second patient hanging from the ceiling.

"Don't mind him, he just thinks h's a light bulb," answers the first patient.

The psychologist pauses, then asks, "Don't you think you ought to convince him to come down before he gets hurt?"

The first patient looks incredulous for a moment, then answers, "How am I supposed to finish my work in the dark?"
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
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