The Joke Thread

The Joke Thread

Postby Aaron » Tue Mar 18, 2008 9:59 pm

Post your jokes of choice for others to "acquire".

For myself:

"What's the difference between a BMW and a snail?. With a BMW the slime is on the inside."
Aaron
3 Star Admiral
3 Star Admiral
 
Posts: 10988
Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 9:01 pm
Location: Timepire Mobile Command Centre

Postby Monroe » Wed Mar 19, 2008 4:30 am

Oh god! That's so horrible! LOL!
Monroe
Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
 
Posts: 5815
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 2:17 am

Postby Tsukiyumi » Wed Mar 19, 2008 5:30 am

I think it's great, personally.
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
User avatar
Tsukiyumi
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
 
Posts: 21747
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:38 pm
Location: Forward Torpedo Tube Twenty. Help!

Postby mwhittington » Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:00 am

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning? They don't have any balls to scratch!
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
mwhittington
Commander
Commander
 
Posts: 1301
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:49 pm
Location: Paradise, CA

Postby mwhittington » Thu Mar 27, 2008 5:53 am

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vacuum cleaner? The position of the dirtbag!
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
mwhittington
Commander
Commander
 
Posts: 1301
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:49 pm
Location: Paradise, CA

Postby Tsukiyumi » Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:03 pm

Zing! :D
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
User avatar
Tsukiyumi
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
 
Posts: 21747
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:38 pm
Location: Forward Torpedo Tube Twenty. Help!

Postby Mikey » Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:29 pm

Q: Why do Jewish men die before their wives?

A: Because they want to!

(Thanks to Henny Youngman.)
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
Mikey
Fleet Admiral
Fleet Admiral
 
Posts: 35635
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:04 am
Location: down the shore, New Jersey, USA

Postby mwhittington » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:01 pm

What do mopeds and fat girls have in common?
They're both fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on either one!
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
mwhittington
Commander
Commander
 
Posts: 1301
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:49 pm
Location: Paradise, CA

Postby mwhittington » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:03 pm

How many people with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hey, look! A puppy!
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
mwhittington
Commander
Commander
 
Posts: 1301
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:49 pm
Location: Paradise, CA

Postby mwhittington » Thu Mar 27, 2008 9:04 pm

How many Teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Twelve, ya gotta problem with that!?
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
mwhittington
Commander
Commander
 
Posts: 1301
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 3:49 pm
Location: Paradise, CA

Postby Zanarkand » Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:10 am

Why do NASA execs drink Sprite?
Because they can never get 7 up.
Zanarkand
Chief petty officer
Chief petty officer
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2008 11:13 pm

Postby Foxbat » Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:52 am

What's black & brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A Rotweiler!

(Post 100!)
"Nothing is more Airwolf than Airwolf!" http://www.ernestcline.com/spokenword/airwolf.htm
User avatar
Foxbat
Lieutenant jg
Lieutenant jg
 
Posts: 235
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 2:02 am
Location: San Antonio Tx (Go SPURS)

Postby Mikey » Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:39 am

congrats!

I don't know many jokes clean or inoffensive enough to post here. :cry:
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
Mikey
Fleet Admiral
Fleet Admiral
 
Posts: 35635
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 2:04 am
Location: down the shore, New Jersey, USA

Postby Tsukiyumi » Sun Mar 30, 2008 7:34 am

Same here, Mikey. :D
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
User avatar
Tsukiyumi
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
 
Posts: 21747
Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 1:38 pm
Location: Forward Torpedo Tube Twenty. Help!

Postby Aaron » Sun Mar 30, 2008 11:33 am

People don't usually get this one:

"How many Afghan Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

Answer:

"You don't know because YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

You can swap Afghan for Iraq or any other operation.
Aaron
3 Star Admiral
3 Star Admiral
 
Posts: 10988
Joined: Thu Aug 23, 2007 9:01 pm
Location: Timepire Mobile Command Centre

Next

Return to Humour, Trivia and Puzzles

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron