The Joke Thread

Aaron
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The Joke Thread

Post by Aaron »

Post your jokes of choice for others to "acquire".

For myself:

"What's the difference between a BMW and a snail?. With a BMW the slime is on the inside."
Monroe
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Post by Monroe »

Oh god! That's so horrible! LOL!
Tsukiyumi
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Post by Tsukiyumi »

I think it's great, personally.
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
mwhittington
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Post by mwhittington »

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up in the morning? They don't have any balls to scratch!
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
mwhittington
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Post by mwhittington »

What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vacuum cleaner? The position of the dirtbag!
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
Tsukiyumi
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Post by Tsukiyumi »

Zing! :D
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
Mikey
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Post by Mikey »

Q: Why do Jewish men die before their wives?

A: Because they want to!

(Thanks to Henny Youngman.)
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
mwhittington
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Post by mwhittington »

What do mopeds and fat girls have in common?
They're both fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to see you on either one!
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
mwhittington
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Post by mwhittington »

How many people with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hey, look! A puppy!
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
mwhittington
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Post by mwhittington »

How many Teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Twelve, ya gotta problem with that!?
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
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Post by Zanarkand »

Why do NASA execs drink Sprite?
Because they can never get 7 up.
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Post by Foxbat »

What's black & brown and looks good on a lawyer?

A Rotweiler!

(Post 100!)
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Post by Mikey »

congrats!

I don't know many jokes clean or inoffensive enough to post here. :cry:
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
Tsukiyumi
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Post by Tsukiyumi »

Same here, Mikey. :D
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
Aaron
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Post by Aaron »

People don't usually get this one:

"How many Afghan Vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

Answer:

"You don't know because YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

You can swap Afghan for Iraq or any other operation.
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