This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

In the real world
User avatar
Angharrad
Captain
Captain
Posts: 1972
Joined: Sat May 02, 2009 2:24 am
Location: In the big chair, finally, swinging my feet 'cause I'm short. Lower the chair Scotty DAMMIT
Contact:

This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by Angharrad »

Here's The Text Of The Bill That Would Ban Gay Football Players From The NFL

-Full Text-

WASHINGTON -- The Republican lobbyist promising to introduce a bill banning gays from the National Football League unveiled the text of that legislation on Thursday.

The bill, titled "The American Decency Act of 2014," would make it illegal for "self-declared homosexual football players" to join an NFL team unless it "provides facilities for homosexual players which are entirely separate and distinct from the facilities used by heterosexual players." A violation of that provision would result in a fine between $3 million and $8 million.

Pushed by lobbyist Jack Burkman, CEO of Burkman Associates LLC, the bill would give the Department of Justice the power to enforce the ban.

The idea that the measure would ever make it into law is patently absurd. Burkman himself told The Huffington Post that he'd only been able to secure the support of a handful of members of the House of Representatives and just one senator. Notably, he declined to offer any actual names.

Burkman has faced derision for even bringing up the proposal. Several of his clients have expressed their disapproval and at least one has cut ties with his firm. In an interview with The Huffington Post, Burkman's younger brother –- an openly gay doctor in Seattle -– said he thought the entire thing was a publicity stunt and strongly doubted that a bill would even materialize.

But Burkman has insisted that this is a matter of personal conviction for him.

"I felt that if the NFL doesn't have any morals, and people like [Commissioner] Roger Goodell, who are just go-along-get-along guys, just want to appease advertisers, appease corporate America and all that stuff," he said earlier this week, "I figured, well, it is time for conservatives in Congress to step in and define morality for them."

The full text of the bill is below, as provided by Burkman's public relations firm:

RESOLVED by the U.S. House of Representatives of the United States of America, that the following article is proposed as federal law under the jurisdiction of the United States of America, enforceable by Executive action.

BE it enacted by the House of Representatives and by the Senate of the United States of America in Congress assembled, that:

Section 1. The National Football League and all teams thereof are hereby prohibited from employing self-declared homosexual football players. This prohibition shall only apply in cases where a football player has openly declared himself to be a homosexual.

Section 2. The prohibition detailed in article (A) above shall not apply to any team of the National Football League that provides facilities for homosexual players which are entirely separate and distinct from the facilities used by heterosexual players.

Section 3. Provisions (A) and (B) above shall pre-empt all relevant state law.

Section 4. The US Department of Justice shall have the power to enforce this legislation by all appropriate means.

Section 5. Should one part of this legislation be deemed at any point unconstitutional, all other parts shall be considered separate and entirely severable for Federal Constitutional purposes.

Section 6. Each violation of (A) and (B) above shall result in a fine of not less than $3 million not more than $8 million.
Link

He doesn't say when the bill is coming out that will ban wife beaters, drunk drivers, rapists and racists though.
“You cannot play God then wash your hands of the things that you've created. Sooner or later, the day comes when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore.”

And then Buffy staked Edward. The End.


From Slave to Princess
User avatar
McAvoy
Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Posts: 6242
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:39 am
Location: East Windsor, NJ

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by McAvoy »

Off hand without doing any research on it how can the government dictate what a company especially something as big and dispersed as the NFL.?
"Don't underestimate the power of technobabble: the Federation can win anything with the sheer force of bullshit"
User avatar
Teaos
4 Star Admiral
4 Star Admiral
Posts: 15368
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:00 am
Commendations: The Daystrom Award
Location: Behind you!

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by Teaos »

This guys a massive closet case.
What does defeat mean to you?

Nothing it will never come. Death before defeat. I don’t bend or break. I end, if I meet a foe capable of it. Victory is in forcing the opponent to back down. I do not. There is no defeat.
User avatar
Nutso
2 Star Admiral
2 Star Admiral
Posts: 9631
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2008 9:58 pm

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by Nutso »

The bill, titled "The American Decency Act of 2014," would make it illegal for "self-declared homosexual football players" to join an NFL team unless it "provides facilities for homosexual players which are entirely separate and distinct from the facilities used by heterosexual players."
Clever, evil bastard, ain't he? He can actually get supporters behind this. Should have called it "The American Patriotic Decency Act of 2014," just to get that message across that being a good American means hurting a minority.

If only there were a decency act about cheating on your spouse. Think anyone in Washington would vote for that?
"Bible, Wrath of Khan, what's the difference?"
Stan - South Park
User avatar
McAvoy
Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Posts: 6242
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:39 am
Location: East Windsor, NJ

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by McAvoy »

You know he likes the dick. Especially the dirty dicks from trannies. That's what he cheats on his wife for.

All of you were thinking it. :wink:
"Don't underestimate the power of technobabble: the Federation can win anything with the sheer force of bullshit"
User avatar
Graham Kennedy
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 11561
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:28 pm
Location: Banbury, UK
Contact:

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by Graham Kennedy »

McAvoy wrote:Off hand without doing any research on it how can the government dictate what a company especially something as big and dispersed as the NFL.?
They can't. So he proposes the law, it gets killed somewhere along the way in the legislative process, and he gets to thump his chest in the next election and call himself the true conservative, not like all those RINOs who killed his bill.

Or it actually does pass and then the courts strike it down, and he gets to thump his chest and rage about "liberal activist judges destroying America".

No matter what happens, he wins.
Give a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a day. SET a man on fire, and you will keep him warm for the rest of his life...
User avatar
McAvoy
Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Posts: 6242
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:39 am
Location: East Windsor, NJ

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by McAvoy »

Or maybe but is more rare in that he himself gets battered down by conservatives and goes away. Happens every once in awhile.
"Don't underestimate the power of technobabble: the Federation can win anything with the sheer force of bullshit"
RK_Striker_JK_5
3 Star Admiral
3 Star Admiral
Posts: 12997
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 5:27 am
Commendations: The Daystrom Award, Cochrane Medal of Excellence
Location: New Hampshire
Contact:

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by RK_Striker_JK_5 »

Let's hope McAvoy is right with this turkey.
User avatar
McAvoy
Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Posts: 6242
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:39 am
Location: East Windsor, NJ

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by McAvoy »

No way in hell would it be passed. So it is a question if this guy would be treated like the ass hole he is or a conservative hero.
"Don't underestimate the power of technobabble: the Federation can win anything with the sheer force of bullshit"
User avatar
Jim
Captain
Captain
Posts: 1907
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 2:32 pm
Location: Pittsburgh
Contact:

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by Jim »

You shouldn't discriminate against people for who they are or what they feel or believe... and you shouldn't bully people into doing things that they are not comfortable with.

Right?

Or does that only count for people that you agree with?
Ugh... do not thump the Book of G'Quan...
User avatar
Griffin
Commander
Commander
Posts: 1209
Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:52 pm
Location: Yorkshire!

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by Griffin »

I doubt the NFl would let it pass anyway, I'm sure they'd lobby against it or what have you. I doubt they want to have to build whole new changing rooms and such, and they don't seem to want to fire players either seeing the crap that a lot of them get up to.
Bite my shiny metal ass
User avatar
McAvoy
Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Posts: 6242
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:39 am
Location: East Windsor, NJ

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by McAvoy »

Jim wrote:You shouldn't discriminate against people for who they are or what they feel or believe... and you shouldn't bully people into doing things that they are not comfortable with.

Right?

Or does that only count for people that you agree with?
He has a right to say whatever he wants to say. But the fact is this guy is trying to force the NFL to conform to what he wants which is very unique and usually only applies to opposite ssees (different changing rooms). Then he goes about it with fines and so forth as is said above.

So in what way should he be respected? Hmm maybe we should create a law where blacks should not mix with whites even going through the same door. They should use different facilities than whites. No mixed sports.
"Don't underestimate the power of technobabble: the Federation can win anything with the sheer force of bullshit"
User avatar
Jim
Captain
Captain
Posts: 1907
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 2:32 pm
Location: Pittsburgh
Contact:

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by Jim »

McAvoy wrote:
Jim wrote:You shouldn't discriminate against people for who they are or what they feel or believe... and you shouldn't bully people into doing things that they are not comfortable with.

Right?

Or does that only count for people that you agree with?
He has a right to say whatever he wants to say. But the fact is this guy is trying to force the NFL to conform to what he wants which is very unique and usually only applies to opposite ssees (different changing rooms). Then he goes about it with fines and so forth as is said above.

So in what way should he be respected? Hmm maybe we should create a law where blacks should not mix with whites even going through the same door. They should use different facilities than whites. No mixed sports.
Don't get me wrong, I think that people like him are very uneducated and small minded, and I don't agree with what they have to say. I just find the opposition tends to be grossly hypocritical.
Ugh... do not thump the Book of G'Quan...
User avatar
IanKennedy
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 6161
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:28 pm
Location: Oxford, UK
Contact:

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by IanKennedy »

Interesting. So you have a law against hate crimes but not against hate laws?
email, ergo spam
User avatar
IanKennedy
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 6161
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:28 pm
Location: Oxford, UK
Contact:

Re: This Republican is trying to out-Arizona Arizona

Post by IanKennedy »

"conservatives in Congress to step in and define morality for them."
Hmm... yes I can see how that would work. Basically it would go along the lines of "to be moral you simply should avoid doing anything your congress man/woman does". From what I've seen they're amongst the most amoral ass-hats on the planet.
email, ergo spam
Post Reply