Temporal Investigations Agency...

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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by Tsukiyumi »

Mikey wrote:Adams wrote that the biggest problem with time travel was not, as may be expected, encountering yourself or becoming your own ancestor - rather, it was the grammar.
:lol:

Awesome.
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by Mikey »

Ah! Here we are:
Douglas Adams in [i]The Restaurant at the End of the Universe[/i] wrote: One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem about changing the course of history - the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.
The major problem is quite simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intension of becoming your own mother or father.
Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later editions of the book all the pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.
The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy skips lightly over this tangle of academic abstration, pausing only to note that the term "Future Perfect" has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be.
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by Tsukiyumi »

:laughroll:

Man, I've got to read those at some point.
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by Mikey »

Indeed.
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by thelordharry »

Fool someone into thinking you're a time traveller by stumbling out of a door, looking dishevelled, frantically asking passers by "What year is this? What's the exact date?" and when they respond, reply to them "I've still got time to restore the timeline!" and then run off. For further effect, wear silver clothing.
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by stitch626 »

thelordharry wrote:Fool someone into thinking you're a time traveller by stumbling out of a door, looking dishevelled, frantically asking passers by "What year is this? What's the exact date?" and when they respond, reply to them "I've still got time to restore the timeline!" and then run off. For further effect, wear silver clothing.
That would be awesome... :lol:
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by Mikey »

Wasn't that the TNG ep with Max Headroom?
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by thelordharry »

Ah ha! LaForge remained below! :)
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by Mark »

thelordharry wrote:Fool someone into thinking you're a time traveller by stumbling out of a door, looking dishevelled, frantically asking passers by "What year is this? What's the exact date?" and when they respond, reply to them "I've still got time to restore the timeline!" and then run off. For further effect, wear silver clothing.

That is SOOO something that I'd do! And I just may next April Fools Day :happydevil:
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by Tsukiyumi »

I might just do that tomorrow. :lol:
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Re: Temporal Investigations Agency...

Post by shran »

Has been done yet, on december 8th 2008. You ought to do it then. http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2007/12/pretend-to-be-a/
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