Baywatch Trailer (2017)

[Nutso]

Starring Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Priyanka Chopra

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Well, that was... a thing.

[Nutso]

I only heard about this yesterday. It's actually happening...

[Teaos]

But... Why?

[Mikey]

But... Why?

Some things mankind was not meant to know.

[Captain Picard's Hair]

But... Why?

Some things mankind was not meant to know.

There do seem easier (and more direct) ways to distribute softcore porn - if that could be distinguished from half the ad billboards in any Western city nowadays. It's particularly self-defeating here since the promotional materials give away the game for free. On the plus side, whatever deficiencies there are sure to be in the sparse plot won't really matter.

[Nutso]

But... Why?

Nostalgia is big money. The stuff the current 30-42 year olds grew up on is being made into movies. Plus The Rock is in this. And current big tit champ Alexandra Daddario.

Transformers was the ultimate example of that. In the next decade I expect "Ben 10" to be made into a live-action movie. Or maybe Pokemon because that thing has Star Wars potential as far as merchandising goes. So many Pokemon to sell... "Gotta catch 'em all!" What a fucking amazing marketing slogan.

[Graham Kennedy]

I find myself disappointed at the knowing meta jokes about running in slow motion.

Baywatch was a giant cheeseball of a show that took itself very seriously. That's what made it so much fun to watch!

This trailer displeases me.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

But... Why?

Nostalgia is big money. The stuff the current 30-42 year olds grew up on is being made into movies. Plus The Rock is in this. And current big tit champ Alexandra Daddario.

Transformers was the ultimate example of that. In the next decade I expect "Ben 10" to be made into a live-action movie. Or maybe Pokemon because that thing has Star Wars potential as far as merchandising goes. So many Pokemon to sell... "Gotta catch 'em all!" What a fucking amazing marketing slogan.

I actually recall a Ben 10 live-action movie made for Cartoon Network.

[Nutso]

I find myself disappointed at the knowing meta jokes about running in slow motion.

Baywatch was a giant cheeseball of a show that took itself very seriously. That's what made it so much fun to watch!

This trailer displeases me.

Would it be better if Will Ferrel was the lead?

[Graham Kennedy]

Honestly I can't think of any guy that could do a Hasslehoff today.

The ladies are easy. Pretty girls with big breasts running in swimsuits, easy.

But a guy who is sufficiently hunky, and serious about what he's doing, whilst being vaguely ridiculous? Modern movies can't seem to stop themselves winking at anything that's ridiculous. They're so desperate to let the audience know that it's not really bad, it's written that way on purpose, it's supposed to be funny see!

Meh. Make something that's supposed to be good and have it turn out goofy and silly but still sexy and fun to watch. That's the tone of Baywatch, at least to my eyes.

My favourite Baywatch anecdote? The producers were auditioning actresses for CJ, and not having a good time of it. When Pamela auditioned they liked her a lot. One of them put it to her that the show was supposed to be very sexy, and that she would spend an awful lot of the time with her considerable assets on display in swimsuits and low cut outfits, and was she okay with that?

Her response? "I'd do the whole show stark naked if I thought you'd let me."